Page 29 of The Gargoyle’s Glade (The Gargoyle Knights #3)

Merry

O phelia had warned me, as had Tap, but being told was completely different than seeing it for myself.

I leaned into the mirror, heart pounding as I examined the area under my collarbone.

Symbols had appeared on my skin, painless ink the color of flames.

They were simple but beautiful, all organic swirls and dots.

As I traced over them with my fingers, the bathroom door burst open. “Merry? Are you—” Coltor stopped in the doorway, clearly horrified with himself for repeating something that had caused tension between us, debating what the correct next action should be. “You shouted.”

“It’s fine.” I was wrapped in a towel, my hair wet down my back. I chuckled at how we’d ended up back here again, just under very different circumstances. “You can come in.”

Cautiously, he stepped forward. His eyes widened and he approached me slowly, his gaze trained on the mirror.

He stretched out a finger toward my skin but stopped before touching. “They’re lovely. And they’re the same color as your hair, Firebird.”

“Is that why you call me that? My hair?”

“In part.” Coltor rocked back on his heels, crossing his arms as though trying to keep himself from reaching out again.

“It’s your hair, certainly, but also the way the sun often lights you up in such a way that you remind me of that creature.

You hold your arms like wings, and a trick of the light gives you blazing feathers…

” He trailed off, features pinching like he’d said more than he intended.

“This mark.” Rough fingertips traced along the birthmark on my back.

“It looks like a feather.” His eyes lingered on the curve of my shoulders, the hem of the towel at the top of my breasts.

I stared at him in the mirror as he looked at me, the edge of his desire sharp.

My pulse throbbed in response, and I clenched my thighs together.

He looked up, dark eyes nearly all pupil. “You should get dressed, Merry.”

“Or?”

His throat worked as he swallowed. “We need to discuss some things before there’s an or .”

“Alright.”

Coltor left the bathroom, and I pulled on a simple tunic that was several sizes too big and more like a dress than a shirt.

Comb in hand, I steeled myself with a deep breath before joining him on my sofa.

He’d lit a fire, and the gathering of little carvings appeared to glow from their place on the hearth.

Much of the fatigue that I’d been feeling at the celebration had gone, replaced by an energized anxiety that I knew would leave me extra tired when it passed.

“May I?” he asked, reaching for my comb.

“Sure.”

“Thanks. It will be easier to speak if I have something to keep my hands busy.”

“Oh?” My cheeks heated, and he hadn’t even started talking yet. “Is this about the mate thing?”

“Yes. What do you know? So that I know where to start.”

Hailon and Lovette had both told me their own stories, how the mate bond had presented and what it meant to be fated to someone.

There didn’t seem to be any difference whether the bond belonged to a demon or a stone kin.

Not to mention that Magnus and Grace were a pairing much like Coltor and I were.

Could be. My heart fluttered an odd rhythm as I corrected myself.

I relayed what I knew to Coltor as the strokes of the comb through my damp hair relaxed me.

“Yes. Did they mention what happens if one refuses a bond? Or ignores it?”

“No.”

“Mmm.” He was quiet for several moments as he finished combing through my curls and braided it into one long plait. When he was done, I turned to face him. He looked crestfallen.

“Why do you look so sad? How could you doubt that I feel a similar way for you as you do for me at this point? Did you miss that I was throwing myself at you in the bathroom?” I was teasing, but it was too heavy in the room to lighten things much.

“I don’t doubt, and I didn’t miss it. Trust me when I say I wish it were that simple.”

“Make it simple. Explain why you’re hesitating.” I ran the backs of my fingers down the side of his face, and he took my wrist in his hand, kissing my knuckles.

“Do you have a burning behind your ribs, Merry? An ache that intensifies when I’m near you? When we touch?”

Regretful that he was dealing with such discomfort on my behalf, I shook my head. “Maybe a little, but not so much that I’m bothered. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. It’s different for everyone and even if you’re of witch heritage, you’re human.

” His eyes went wide. “Please don’t misunderstand me, Merry.

I don’t think any less of you because of that.

It makes no difference to me who your ancestors were.

I’m attracted to you . Whatever that means. ”

Everywhere our skin touched tingled, and I realized I had been having some odd sensations. “My heart beats irregularly now and then. Like it’s jumped into my throat, all fluttery.”

His mouth twitched into a grin. “I’ve gotten that too.”

“Is that evidence of the bond?”

“Perhaps.”

“You still haven’t said what you’re worried about.”

“A bond is forever, Merry. This is not something to enter into lightly. Once we’re intimate, the bond is sealed. There’s no undoing it.”

“Forever?” The word even tasted heavy. I thought of my mother, how she’d promised forever to my father, but he’d disappeared when they were both still young.

She’d tried three more times after him, swearing it each time, but it had never worked that way, not even when they’d begun with enthusiastic love and the best of intentions.

“What happens if it’s ignored? What if we just keep on as we’ve been, or…

go our own way?” I had a visceral response to saying those words.

My gut wrenched, and I broke out in a cold sweat.

“The pain will likely increase over time. Madness is a risk, worse the longer we live. Likely me more than you. But Merry”—he took my hands in his and met my eye, not looking away—“I would never ask you to make this kind of decision based on this risk. I would bear it, if that’s your choice, without hesitation.

” I nodded, thoughts swirling, but I couldn’t make my tongue work.

“There are known cases where pairs refused a bond, and some have lived centuries before things got bad.” He swallowed hard, like the flavor of that half-truth was bitter.

“I wouldn’t want to cause you pain, Coltor. I can’t imagine doing so willingly for months or years. Centuries would be outright torture.”

He bowed his head and released my hands. “I should go. I have to do my patrol.”

“Even with everyone here? And the ceremony?”

“Yes, the doorways don’t sleep, and I need to get back on my routine.” He got to his feet and leaned down to kiss my forehead. “Rest yourself, Merry. Decisions do not have to be made right now.”

I disagreed. It was wholly unfair for me to continue things with him knowing what I did now if I didn’t intend to see things through.

I stayed on the sofa until the logs in the fireplace had burned themselves out, exhausted but too wrapped up in considering the possibilities to sleep.

“We age differently.”

“Greta can provide an elixir so your lifespans match,” Hailon countered. “I took it. So did Calla and Greta herself of course. I’m not sure about Grace.”

“You took it already?” I gasped. “How long will you live now?”

Hailon shrugged. “No idea. Might be hundreds of years. It doesn’t really matter as long as neither of us have to face a lifetime or more without the other.”

My heart squeezed. “That’s actually so sweet, Hailon.”

She blushed and shrugged, clearly amused but mildly uncomfortable. “Any other concerns?”

“What if something happens and we need to split up?” Again I was struck with the feeling that I might be sick just considering such a thing.

“Then you do what you need to do. There might be consequences, but you deal with them like everyone else.”

“Everyone else doesn’t have a magical bond that might hurt or kill them if it’s broken.”

Hailon yawned, thoroughly bored with my panicked debating. “Are you done?”

She’d arrived early to check on me, carrying party leftovers for breakfast, and then we’d gone to help with the cleanup.

Jacks had gone back through the portal with Ophelia, and the stone kin were just as efficient in taking their equipment out as they had been bringing it in.

The glade was set to rights and empty again before midday, and shockingly quiet now that most of the animals had moved on.

We’d gone back to her cabin for some lunch, and we were still in her kitchen while I tried to talk out my messy thoughts.

I lowered my head against her dining table, my heart throbbing sorely. “What if he wants children, Hailon?” I peeked up at her. “After everything I went through with my mom and siblings… that’s not something I want for myself.”

“You’ll have to have that conversation with him.

” She reached across the table, covering my hand.

“And I think you should, that’s a big commitment either direction.

” She sighed and sat back in the seat. “Is there nothing positive you want to use in your considerations? Like the fact that he’s ruggedly handsome? Tall? Has wings? Is a little scary?”

“The wings are very nice.”

She brightened. “Jacks seems to like him.”

“He does.” His commentary about Coltor honestly weighed pretty heavily in my considerations.

“What about the fact that he’s clearly obsessed with you? Has been since you first arrived.”

“Hailon, don’t be ridiculous.” I laughed at her exaggeration.

“I’m not! I think he actually might be. It started with a carving a day but very quickly escalated to literally growling at people when they came to watch over you for a bit when you were unwell.”

My heart skipped. “He did not.”

“I was just trying to let him take a nap and get your hair washed, and he nearly bit my head off.” She smirked, which told me she wasn’t being entirely truthful, but I appreciated the push to remember the reasons I’d started falling for him. “You look yourself again, by the way.”

“Thanks. I feel pretty much back to normal today.” Which honestly felt like a massive accomplishment considering all that had happened.

And I had, I admitted to myself, thoroughly fallen for him.

He was kind, attentive, and patient. We’d worked out our differences, and I felt I understood him, even when he turned inward and got frustrated.

He didn’t try to make me feel smaller in his presence; if anything, he allowed me to flourish while watching to be sure I was safe.

He might have a vicious bark, but he handled me gently.

“I hate this.”

“Love is truly the worst.” Hailon’s expression was dreadfully serious, at least until she burst out laughing.

“Listen, you know I can relate. I was not looking for any kind of relationship, nor did I recognize what was happening between Seir and I for what it was as early as I should have. All I’m saying is, don’t make a choice you’ll regret out of fear of turning into your mother, Merry.

” My breath stalled. She’d somehow narrowed in on the crux of my hesitation.

“You’re not her, never were, never will be.

You have all of us too. Me, Seir, Ophelia.

Everyone at d’Arcan. You are not alone, and if you decide that Coltor is the one for you, you’ll be even less so.

You’ll almost certainly be invited to join the stone kin clan.

Whatever you decide, we’re behind you. Remember that if the Fates chose him for you and you for him… there’s a reason. Lots of them.”

There were, I knew that. We’d been over many of them several times.

Her words touched a place that had needed reassurance without me realizing. I tended to feel very alone—that came along with my independence. But I wasn’t, and I had everything I needed to make my choice.

I just had to decide whether I was going to be a coward or fully embrace the life that the Fates had carved out for me here in the glade.