Page 44 of The Gargoyle and the Maiden (Nightfall Guardians #1)

Brandt

G hantal produced results even more quickly that he’d anticipated. Only a handful of nights after he charged her with discovering who was responsible for the head healers’ sabotage, she brought him information when she returned with Lo?c from his flying lessons.

She waited to deliver her news until after he ran to show Idabel what he’d learned at school. “Tomin and Kerec live.”

A shock ran through him. He had mourned them. Wore scars for them. His heart buoyed to think that they had survived when so many others did not. But he could tell from Ghantal’s expression she did not think the news was good.

He opened the door wider. “Come in.”

She touched the back of her hand to her horns in gratitude and stepped inside, waiting until the latch clicked shut before adding, “The moths tell me that Tomin is a ninth-tier commander.”

Brandt went rigid. “That’s impossible. He was a mere scout. And a defector, considering he never returned to the Sixth Watch.”

“Was. Now he oversees the masons, among other things.” Ghantal’s expression was grim. “I learned some interesting things about his rise to power.”

His heart fisted. He wished he could celebrate that Tomin was alive when so many of his watchmates were not. He did not want to think of the broad-shouldered, pale-haired young gargoyle as anything but the sharp-eyed scout he’d known.

Idabel left Lo?c with his toys and moved closer to Brandt, catching his hand and giving it a squeeze. Her brow furrowed with concern. “What’s going on?”

“My mother brings news of a traitor,” Brandt told her grimly.

He felt Idabel’s complex reaction to the word through the bond.

She still thought it applied to her. He pulled her into his side, tugging on her braid to remind her that she was not to punish herself for every wrong of the war.

Winds aid him, he’d perpetrated many himself.

Ghantal delivered the rest of her report like she was the one in military service.

“As soon as I learned of Tomin’s rise, I wrote to the mate of one of the commanders in Meravenna.

She knew of Tomin and Kerec. They claimed to be in Meravenna to transfer from the Sixth Watch to the Fifth at your behest. Their request was granted.

They fought in a number of successful campaigns that left no goblin survivors, and they were credited with those victories. ”

“They must have used the intelligence.” Brandt’s voice was hollow. “They knew where the younglings were camped. Easy targets.”

Ghantal nodded. “It seems so. They were promoted rapidly. Within a year, Kerec was second in command of the Fifth Watch and Tomin commanded the Seventh. The two of them drove the hordes back into the mountains while the Sixth was being destroyed by the mounted companies. They’re considered heroes.

” Ghantal’s wings flattened with disgust. “They’re known as the gargoyles who decisively ended the war. ”

His stomach churned. He had seen enough battles to know that there were no decisive victories in war that weren’t wholesale slaughter.

His mind walls strained, sending pain lancing behind his eyes until a barrage of images broke through.

Goblin younglings swept away by the river. Weapons glinting under the water. A smoking village, nothing left but ash. Tomin’s pale, earnest expression when he’d promised to deliver the message faithfully. A lie. Brandt’s mind splintered like a shattered mirror.

Gargoyles weren’t supposed to be murderers. They were guardians. Protectors. And beyond their natural instincts, they’d sworn the heartstone vow when they entered the watch. One that should have been unbreakable.

Then Idabel was there sending comfort through the bond, filling it with images of seeds sprouting, of him braiding Lo?c’s hair, of the meal they ate earlier. It helped him catch his breath.

“Papa?” Lo?c piped up from across the room. “What’s wrong? My chest gave me a tickle.”

He hated to close off the remnants of his bond with Lo?c, but he had to. Regretfully, he built a mind wall so his roiling emotions wouldn’t seep into his son. At the same time, he walled off Idabel’s river of calm. He didn’t want calm. He wanted vengeance .

“Nothing to worry about, sweetheart.” Idabel steered him toward his chambers. “Why don’t you put your soldiers away? You’ve left them scattered all over the floor. I’ll call you when supper is ready.”

Once he was gone, Brandt exploded into motion, striding to the armor chest and rummaging around for his bracers. “I’ll kill them. Tonight. They targeted children so they could advance? They’re not worthy of life, let alone being entrusted with the care of all Solvantis.”

“Stop.” Idabel caught his arm, hanging on it so he couldn’t fasten the bracer’s buckle. “Breathe with me.”

He shook her off. “They have to answer for what they did.”

“They will. But not like this.” She pressed both hands to his chest, grounding him. “If you attack them, you’ll be the criminal. The unstable commander who couldn’t accept the war’s necessities.”

“They weren’t necessities!”

“We know that. But who will believe you over a war hero?” He struggled against the truth of her words.

She was right. He was no hero. He was the broken, combative commander who lost all his men.

“Please. Let the Council handle this. Don’t take it into your own hands and let yourself be ripped away from us again. ”

Ghantal nodded. “The Zenith should hear of it first. He values honor above all. He won’t tolerate this deception.”

“Unless he ordered it,” Brandt said bitterly.

He hated how much he distrusted everyone now.

One of the joys of serving in the guard and then the watch had been the sense of loyalty.

The heartstone vow that gave them all a joint purpose to safeguard and protect—not only the humans of Tael-Nost, but also each other in pursuit of that goal. All that was tarnished now.

“He didn’t.” Ghantal’s certainty seemed absolute. “I’ve known Gérald since before he became Zenith. He would never knowingly order the slaughter of younglings. I believe this begins and ends with those brothers. My moths agree. They have heard no whispers otherwise.”

“At least try making a report,” Idabel begged, the bond crackling with her desperation to break through the wall he’d erected against her.

Brandt’s rage cooled slightly. He wanted to believe there were still good gargoyles at the top of the Tower.

And he was equally loath to be separated from Idabel and Lo?c just when the three of them were together as a family again.

“I’ll try, but as you said…I may not be believed when it is my word against a war hero’s. ”

“Kerec did not rise so high,” Ghantal offered. “If he were willing to testify, his word might support yours.”

“If he would speak against his brother.” Brandt doubted it.

“There may be others from the Fifth or Seventh who know the truth. Or maybe Rikard could be persuaded to recover his memories.” Idabel raised their clasps hand to kiss his knuckles. “I won’t lose you to a war that’s already over.”

“The war isn’t over if the guilty are rewarded.” His stomach was still sour, but he lowered the wall against the bond before it solidified fully. He didn’t want to block her out.

She smiled as the bond reconnected. It felt like her hand slipped into his. “Then we end it properly. With justice, not vengeance.”

Inside him, the warrior who wanted blood warred with the commander who understood good strategy.

Finally, slowly, the commander’s patient approach won, but only by promising the warrior that he’d get his revenge if the strategy didn’t work out.

Idabel, of course, was privy to the whole thing, but his wise little mate said nothing and let him work it out for himself.

“Stay for supper,” he said to his mother, who looked pleasantly surprised to be invited. “We need to plan.”

They ate together around the long table. Lo?c chattered about his lessons while the adults mapped a careful campaign in one of Ghantal’s ledgers. She made lists of evidence they needed to gather. Potential allies to recruit. Ways to protect themselves from retaliation.

“It could take moons to line everything up,” Ghantal warned. “Tomin has powerful friends now.”

“Then we take moons.” Brandt’s hand found Idabel’s knee under the table and squeezed. He hoped she could feel his gratitude for her steady calm in times like these. She was so often his anchor now. “We’ve become very good at waiting.”

G hantal had overestimated. It only took one moon to write up the report.

They hadn’t been able to find Kerec, so the three pages of tidy script were mostly Brandt’s own accounts of memories he wished weren’t true, along with sworn testimony from the gargoyles who had knowledge of Kerec and Tomin’s service in the Fifth and Seventh Watches.

“It’s done,” he told Idabel as he folded the sheets of parchment, sealing them with black wax. “The Zenith will know before dawn.”

Through their bond, he felt her relief mixed with worry.

He should feel relieved, too, passing this burden on to someone with power to act.

Instead, the walls still remaining in his mind seemed more impenetrable than usual, hemming in his thoughts.

He took a dose of Idabel’s medicine, but for once, it didn’t help much.

“Papa! Papa, watch me!” Lo?c’s voice pierced his brooding. He sighed and turned to see whatever it was his son wanted to show him.

Lo?c stood on the balcony rail, wings spread wide.

Before Brandt could move, he launched himself into open air.

Not a practice flight, the little loops he’d been taking where he glided out from the balcony and then immediately banked back for a landing.

This was a real dive that angled steeply downward.

A roar tore from Brandt’s throat as he lunged forward, following his son over the edge.

He added enough momentum pushing off from the rail that he easily caught up, catching Lo?c around the waist and arresting his fall.

He hauled him back up to the balcony, gripping him tightly to his chest the whole way.

“That hurt, Papa,” Lo?c whined when he set him down, rubbing his side.

“You could have died!” Brandt shook him by the shoulders, his terror transforming instantly to anger. “Reckless child! Your wings aren’t strong enough for a dive like that yet. Never do that again!”

“Brandt, you’re scaring him.” Idabel pulled Lo?c away and crouched to examine his ribs. Brandt’s fury redirected to her without thought.

“Don’t shield him from the consequences of his actions. He needs to understand the risks! He’s a gargoyle fledgling; you’ll do him no favors by coddling him like a human.”

“He’s only five years old.” She sighed. To Lo?c, she added, “Fetch the arnica. I think you’re going to bruise.

” He trotted off to the wooden cabinet of drawers and tiny cupboards where she kept her herbs and tinctures.

He had to stand on tiptoes to reach the arnica, and when he lifted his arms, Brandt could see the red-turning-dark marks on his side. Marks he’d put there.

Brandt staggered back.

He’d done what he’d feared most. In a panic, he’d hurt his son. He froze, feeling the trickle of crumbling mind-mortar that warned of an impending episode.

Idabel pressed a hand to her chest and turned to him, a question on her face. The instant she saw him, she stood. “Oh, my heart. Don’t worry, he’ll be fine.”

“Did you see what I did to him?” He wanted to tear his hair out.

He wanted to scrub away the memory of the blooming purple bruises on Lo?c’s pale-gray hide.

He wanted to wall it up, lock it away, and never see it again.

But mind walls around unpleasant memories were why he was in this mess to begin with.

“It could have been worse if you didn’t,” Idabel reminded him. “Lo?c does need to be more careful. He at least needs to ask before he dives off the rail.”

“I was fine,” Lo?c chimed in stubbornly, returning with the jar of arnica salve. “I was just going to land on the third-tier platform and come right back up.”

“But you need to tell someone your plan,” his mother chided. “When you jump without warning, it frightens us.”

Brandt sank to his knees and held his arms out. Lo?c curled up in his lap and let Brandt hold him while Idabel applied the arnica to his emerging bruises.

“There. That wasn’t so bad, was it?” Idabel asked brightly when she’d finished. Brandt wasn’t sure whether she was talking to him or the patient. She stood and went to put away the salve with the clear intent of giving him a moment alone with his son.

Brandt kissed the top of Lo?c’s head, not ready to release him just yet. “I’m so sorry I hurt you, Lo. I was just trying to keep you safe. And I’m sorry for yelling at you, too.”

“And the shaking,” Lo?c broke in. “That was a little scary.”

“And the shaking,” he agreed, his heart cracking open.

“My mind is broken still. I’m trying to put the pieces together, but sometimes they don’t fit together perfectly, and I do the wrong thing or say the wrong thing.

I’m not sure they are ever going to fit the way they used to.

I know it’s hard to be around me, and”—he swallowed hard—”I understand if you and your mother don’t feel safe living with me right now. ”

“Papa, can I show you something?” Lo?c’s voice was small but steady.

When Brandt nodded, bracing for another daredevil flight, he hopped up and ran into his room, returning with something that he put into Brandt’s hand.

“When my toy soldier broke, Mama helped me glue it. It’s not the same as before, but I still love it. It’s just as fun as the other ones.”

Brandt opened his hand, and there was the humble wooden toy, the crack through the soldier’s face neatly mended but still visible. His eyes burned, and he had to blink away his tears. He cleared his throat and handed it back. “Your mother is good at fixing things.”

“She is!” Lo?c agreed cheerily and scampered off to play. Brandt watched him go, marveling at his wisdom and resilience until Idabel reappeared at his side.

“Everyone breaks sometimes,” she said softly, stroking his horns from base to tip.

He let his eyes fall shut so he could better enjoy it.

“But everything broken can be mended. Anything lost can be found. It doesn’t always happen the way you want it to or as quickly as you hope for, but it can happen.

I didn’t always believe that, but now that I have you back, I know it’s true. ”