Page 87 of The Forsaken Heir

brIELLE

I practically ran toward the castle, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that Aurelius and the king were watching me go. My face still burned from being caught in such a compromising position. It could have been worse, of course. At least he hadn’t come upon us naked.

Once I was inside the castle doors and out of their line of sight, I took a breath and relaxed a bit.

The place was teeming with activity, and that noise and chaos helped mask any lingering shameful thoughts bouncing around in my head.

Things were busier than ever with noblemen, servants, and the Hikshil.

I actually had to bob and weave around people to get upstairs.

Was this how the castle had been all those years ago when the dragon numbers were bigger?

Most likely. It made me sad to think how far they’d fallen over the last few centuries.

When I burst into my room, Delphine gave a gasp of surprise. She must have just gotten out of the shower because she was dressed in a robe.

“What are you doing back here this soon?” she asked, looking a little disappointed.

Breathless, and still red-faced, I crossed the room and flopped onto a couch. “Aurelius and I were interrupted by the king.”

She rolled her eyes and heaved a dramatic sigh. “Men. They always know the worst times to interrupt.”

“It wasn’t his fault,” I said. “It looked like he had something important to discuss with him. That’s all.”

“Uh, huh,” Delphine said, eyeing me suspiciously. “He caught you being naughty, didn’t he? I can tell by that blood-red face of yours.”

The blood-red face turned a shade or two darker at her words, and I carefully studied my nails.

“We were…wrestling,” I said judiciously.

“With clothes on?”

“Holy shit! Yes, with clothes on. We were training. It’s not like Aurelius was gonna bang me on the yard out front of his house in broad daylight.”

Even as I said the words, a mental image of exactly that played across my mind. Me face down, fingers digging into the grass as Aurelius slammed into me from behind. I blinked away the thought as fast as I could.

I chewed on my lower lip. “Do you think the king knows? About, uh, us, I mean?”

“Oh, sweetie,” Delphine said in an almost condescending manner. She took a seat beside me and patted my leg. “Everyone in the castle knows.”

“What?” I hissed. “What do you mean, everyone ?”

She clicked her tongue. “Dear girl,” she said, giving me an even more condescending look than before. “You two weren’t exactly that quiet the other night in the butler’s pantry, or the other afternoon in the west wing library. I hope you at least locked the doors both of those times.”

I buried my face in my hands. “Oh my god.”

Aurelius and I had been much more physical since his return, that was true. I’d been so sure I’d lost him that I wanted to take every opportunity to be intimate with him. I guess we’d gotten a bit too overzealous. Now I was mortified.

“I mean, it wasn’t like you were heard through the whole castle, but it was loud enough that a few heard, and words spread.” she patted my back gently. “It’s not that big a deal.”

“You’ve got to be shitting me. You’re saying everyone in the castle knows I’ve been having sex with Aurelius, and that’s not a big deal?”

She shrugged. “You’re both consenting adults. Who cares? He’s the prince. Some of those Hikshil folks have different ideas about things like that, which means they could probably care less anyway. It’s fine. You shouldn’t worry about it.”

Suddenly, a more horrifying thought occurred to me, and an icy cold fist squeezed around my heart.

“Do you think that’s why Cassius came down?” I asked. “To talk to him about our relationship?”

“I doubt that,” Delphine said, sitting back and cinching her robe tighter. “He has bigger things to worry about than who his son spends his evening with, right?”

“But his son is the future king. I’m a nobody from a wolf shifter family, who can’t even shift. I’m not exactly the best match for a prince.”

Anger flashed in Delphine’s eyes. “Enough of that. Stop . It always breaks my heart when you talk about yourself like that.”

Chastised, I lowered my eyes. Part of me knew she was right.

The negative self-talk was not a great way to spend my time.

It was a one-way trip to mental health purgatory.

Part of me had always wanted to wallow in self-deprecation and feelings of inferiority.

Much as I didn’t want to think about it, that small corner of my mind tended to be pretty willful when it came to pessimism.

“We touched on this earlier,” Delphine said, “but if you care for him, then who cares about anything else?”

I scrubbed my hands over my face and sighed heavily. “I guess so.” Even to my ears, I sounded more defeated than hopeful.

“How does he make you feel? Does he make you happy?”

“He does. He really does. Do you think there might be a chance? I don’t see how, but do you see a possibility?”

She smiled at me. “There’s always hope, dear. Always .”

“He’s gonna be king, though. How can a man be king if his mate can’t bear him children? Doesn’t that make things sort of pointless? The best I could hope for would be becoming his side piece or something.”

“Don’t say that. I’ll die before I allow you to become some nobleman’s mistress. And you are really hung up on this heir thing. It’s all you seem to be able to talk about.”

“Well, yeah,” I said. “It’s kind of a big thing. Even when I was a kid, it was talked about. Wolves don’t even have a king, but even the high-ranking families wanted to make sure they had an heir.”

“Anyone worth their salt won’t care about.

I’ve wanted much more for you since your exile, Elle.

All these years I’d hoped you’d find something that would light a fire within you.

I wanted you to find someone you could love.

If that ends up being a dragon? A prince, no less?

Then, who the hell cares? I’ve seen the kind of man Aurelius is, and I don’t think he’d care either.

Not in the end. There’s something connecting you two.

I can see it, and no matter what either of you thinks you want or need, you’ll come back around to each other. ”

I huffed a laugh. “What, are you a psychic now?”

“No. I can simply see the writing on the wall.” She leveled a stern gaze at me.

“There’s more too, isn’t there? The kid thing isn’t all you’re worried about.

To me, it sounds like a crutch. What’s the real issue?

” She patted my knee. “I’m not your mom, but I still get that motherly intuition. Spit it out.”

I shook my head. How could she read my mind so easily? Maybe she was psychic.

“There’s all this stuff going on. With my brother and my family. It’s a bit pointless to pursue anything deeper if we’re all going to end up dead soon anyway.”

Delphine made a sound halfway between a sigh and moan, and put an arm around me.

“Elle, you aren’t the type to live in fear.

You never have been. This situation shouldn’t change that.

Life is life. Whether you get seventy years, seven hundred years, or seven days, you have to live it.

Don’t let that asshole brother of yours change that. ”

She had a way of cutting through my bullshit and seeing the truth of it.

She was right. There were bigger things than worry or fear.

Was I really letting the terror of my spoiled brat little brother cause me to hesitate with a man I was falling in love with?

What would I have said if someone told me this six months ago?

I’d have called them crazy. All my life, I’d yearned for love.

For someone to take care of and to take care of me.

It felt like I’d found that with Aurelius.

Was I really going to turn my back on it for something so stupid as fear of the unknown?

I was scared, though. What if I confessed my emotions to Aurelius and he rebuked me?

The chance was there, however small I thought it might be.

Yet, how could I go on living if I never took that chance?

I didn’t want to be an old woman, all alone, wondering what might have been.

Being vulnerable was the last step. The last doorway of fear I needed to push through.

“I need to go.”

Delphine gave me a knowing smile and rubbed my back.

There was no blood between us—we were not related—but deep down, in my heart of hearts, this was the mother I’d always yearned for.

Hoped for. The mother who’d taken care of me and loved me even when my own had disowned me.

Unconditional love. That was what a mother gave, and it’s what Delphine had shown me all my life.

Delphine nodded. “I think that’s a good?—”

I yanked her into a tight hug, cutting her words off.

“I love you, Delphine,” I whispered.

She was silent for a few seconds, but squeezed me back. “I love you too, little girl.”

When I finally released her, Delphine’s eyes were red-rimmed and wet. She laughed and wiped at them with one hand as she waved at the door with the other.

“Go on. Do what you need to do.”

Swallowing hard, I wiped my own eyes. “I’m still scared, though,” I whispered, as if my own vocal cords were terrified of the idea of putting myself out there like this.

Delphine cupped my cheek and stared deeply into my eyes. “It can be scary, yes, but isn’t it scarier to go through life wondering what might have been?”

She was right. I had to tell Aurelius how I felt. There was no real way to know if he had the same feelings, but I had to give it a shot, otherwise I’d always regret it.

“Okay, I’m gonna go find him,” I said as I stood, my heart fluttering in my chest like a panicked bird.

“You do that,” Delphine said.

I nearly ran for the door, my feet moving as fast as I could get them to go. It was as though my limbs had a mind of their own and were dragging me toward Aurelius before I could try to back out of confessing my feelings for him.