Page 9 of The Forever (When the World Fell #3)

Liv

“ W hat the hell were you thinking?” Gabe pulled me to my feet and immediately dropped my hand as if touching me irritated him. “You could have been killed going after that psycho on your own.” Perspiration dotted his upper lip, and he scanned my face, no doubt alarmed by the blood. “Are you hurt?”

His abrupt tone made me realise how much he cared, and a twinge of guilt kicked in. My body ached, and I’d have a nice collection of bruises after the dust settled, but no lasting injuries. “I’m fine.” I dragged my sleeve over my face to wipe off more of the splatter. “It’s not mine. I’m okay.”

Cruz stopped at the scene with Jonah and Remy, their breaths wrenching from them as they took in the damage.

I knew enough about each man to understand the heat in their eyes came from a place of fear rather than anger, but I couldn’t handle anyone else yelling at me right now—not when my body was still shaking and my pulse hadn’t slowed yet.

“She wasn’t thinking,” Jonah said. “Just went all fucking commando without giving a shit about the rest of us.”

His dig had more of an impact than any of the physical blows I’d taken, and I ignored the sting as I searched the long grass for my weapons. “Thanks.” I gave him a quick, frustrated smile. “For the record, I do care. That’s why I went after him, so I could corner him before he had the chance to hide and come at us again.”

“And we’re supposed to… what?” he prodded. “Lose someone important to all of us just so you can end a piece of shit who means nothing to anyone?”

The air went still, the atmosphere silent save for the wailing of the dead in the distance. His words sank in, and emotion clogged my throat as I held his gaze. He was right. I hadn’t given them a second thought.

He’d already been through enough without me piling on more, and the tremble in his voice drove the point home better than any words could have done. “You didn’t lose me,” I said. “I’m still here. I’m sorry I scared you.”

Shock had settled in, my brain reeling from the physicality of what I’d endured. A shiver stole over me, and I kept my eyes averted from Dane’s body so I wouldn’t have to see what remained of him. As I stepped back, the side of my boot hit an object; my knife. I stooped to collect it and wiped it on the grass before I returned it to my belt.

Cruz found my missing sword and held it out to me without a word. I mumbled my thanks and took it from him, avoiding his gaze as I slipped in back in its sheath. It would have killed me to see judgement in his eyes, and for someone who communicated so well, his silence unnerved me.

Why wasn’t he reprimanding me or making sure I wasn’t hurt?

Several of the infected were on their way to the playground, thirty or so metres away. There was no good reason for us to be here anymore.

Remy followed my line of sight and formed the same opinion. “Let’s move,” he said, clasping my shoulder as he sidled past me. “Ro’s taken the others back to her place. Might as well hang around for the night and kick off again tomorrow morning.”

“Sounds like a good idea.” The guys walked away, leaving me alone with Cruz. I braced myself and built the courage to look at him for the first time.

He must have been watching me because his eyes were already on me, dark and dangerous and filled with too many emotions to name. My stomach dipped, and I dragged in a lungful of air.

I didn’t know what to think. How to feel. Too much had happened, and it was all catching up to me.

“I’m okay.” I lifted my shirt to inspect my ribs and found only a pink line where Dane’s knife had grazed my skin. “No injuries,” I said, letting the material fall back into place.

His eyes strayed from my abdomen to my forehead, giving nothing away. “If you say so.”

Not exactly a promising response, so I swiped at the blood on my face again, wondering if my appearance was the reason behind his mood. “Do you want to talk while we head back?”

He gave just the barest shake of his head. “Not yet. I’m still processing, and Gabe and Jonah had it pretty well covered.”

“Okay.” My throat constricted as I looked past him. Maybe I’d finally done enough to change his view of me. Maybe this was the tipping point. “Later, then.”

I expected him to walk away from me after that, but he stayed by my side until we’d caught up to the others.

Whether it was out of duty or desire, I didn’t know.

I couldn’t read him, and I could always read him.

Cruz eased off the accelerator and turned into a wide driveway with a sign out the front that read Benson Stables and Agistment .

The entire place was a collection of white fences separating one enclosure from the next, each containing a shelter and water trough for the horses that once roamed here.

Ro had allowed the grass and weeds to grow wild, but the asphalt driveway was still in pristine condition, creating a grand entrance to a property that would have been beautiful just a few years ago.

At the end of a circular driveway, her house appeared. A wide and sprawling homestead.

Cruz followed another drive that branched off the main one and went around to the rear, where a shed and stables were located, along with extra space for parking.

A white Land Cruiser sat in the opening to the shed, no doubt with an empty fuel tank and a dead battery.

Ro had parked our other car back here, so Cruz pulled up beside it and shut off the engine. Without saying a word, he jumped out and walked a short distance away with Gabe, surveying the grounds and pine trees bordering the property.

I exited the car and paused as the two of them talked and pointed at something in the distance. The breeze ruffled Cruz’s dark hair and flannel shirt, and his confident, reassuring presence made me long to hit the rewind button and take us back to the way we’d been only an hour ago.

With a lump in my throat, I blinked and turned away from the view. Whatever had caused his shift in mood, I couldn’t fix it with everyone around, so I headed for the house.

Ro opened the sliding door and stood off to the side, welcoming me with a smile that dropped when she caught sight of my appearance. “Wow. I’ll need the story behind that later. I hope it means what I think it means.”

“A horror story with a happy ending.” I smiled to lighten the mood. “Everyone get back here okay?”

“They’re all in the living room.” She looked me over again, and something in my eyes had her features softening. “There’s a bucket of water and some soap in the kitchen if you want to wash your face.”

“Thanks.” Before she could ask questions I wasn’t ready to answer, I stepped straight into the kitchen-dining area and stopped at the sink.

I took a minute to scrub my face and hands, then removed my shirt to reveal a clean tee underneath. By the time I was done, the others still hadn’t come inside, so I continued through to the adjoining lounge room.

Tae and Willow were seated on a tan leather couch, and Ellie was stretched out on an extended recliner with her blonde ponytail draped over one shoulder. She looked to be a much improved version of the person I’d left in the middle of the street.

“How are you feeling?” I asked.

She threw me a quick smile. “Fine. Just sore. The hammer kind of side swiped me, so it could have been worse.”

“I’m glad it wasn’t.” Broken ribs would have been a bitch to recover from.

“Are you all right?” she asked, taking in the bump on my forehead. “It freaked me out when you ran off like that.”

Feeling the weight of three sets of eyes on me—one of them a fourteen-year-old’s—I kept it simple. “Just sore, like you.”

“What happened?” Tae asked. “You were gone for a while.”

I dragged in a breath, still coming down from the exertion. “Without going into detail, Dane won’t be a problem anymore.”

Relief passed over his features, and he shared a look with Ellie. Relief there, too. The tightness in my chest eased a fraction, and their reactions made me feel like less of a monster.

As the rest of our crew came inside, I wandered to the front foyer to examine the entrance. Coats and boots filled the space, and daylight streamed through the lead light panels in the door, projecting colourful shards onto the white walls. I counted three locks, and when I noted the mesh security door providing another layer of defence, I relaxed a little.

They were relatively safe here… as much as three people could be inside a property with no high walls or fences.

I went back into the lounge room and took in the collection of art above the fireplace, the warmth in the colours reminding me of autumn. Ro had a nice home. Cosy. Clean. Rustic in that expensive, intentional way.

I wished the peaceful setting would rub off on me, but when Cruz stepped into the room and met my eyes, my throat closed up. Inexplicable tears followed, and I blinked to clear my vision.

Ignoring everyone else, I approached him and waited to see if he’d say or do anything to put my mind at ease.

Whatever thinking he’d done during the silence must have helped because he caught sight of my damp eyes, and his gaze turned soft. He cupped the back of my head and rubbed his thumb against my hair before he moved past me.

It wasn’t the time or place for us to delve deep and talk it through, so I’d have to wait.

Minutes passed by as everyone but Ellie and Willow met up in the kitchen, some of us taking seats around the dining table while others stood propped against the bench.

Cruz sat beside me and rested his elbows on the table, widening the spread of his thighs until his leg pressed against mine. Whether the move was unconscious or intentional, I didn’t know, but the connection calmed me and helped me focus on details outside of my head.

Ro disappeared into a walk-in pantry and returned with a water cooler bottle that was half full, lugging it out to fill glasses for each of us.

Remy and Jonah passed the drinks around, and the chatter kicked off.

“So, I take it from the way Liv looked when she got here that the threat’s been… eliminated?” She slid the bottle onto the bench and dragged out the chair beside Cruz to sit with us.

Cruz nodded and lowered his hand from the table, curling his fingers around my knee. I pulled in a shuddering breath at the contact, and when his grip tightened momentarily, I knew he’d heard it. “You don’t need to worry about Dane,” he said to Ro. “And we didn’t see any of the others from his crew, either, so I think we can safely assume they’re gone.”

“That’s good news.”

He was touching me again. He still wanted to touch me.

My heart thundered, and heat rushed to my cheeks.

It felt like my world was being torn apart and put back together by the same person.

“What does that mean for all of you now?” she asked. “You said were driving out of town when you found Willow. Are you still leaving today?”

Ellie called out from the couch behind us, “And where are you going?”

“We’re heading to a place about an hour from here, a property built for this kind of shitstorm.” Gabe crossed his arms over his chest, his dark eyes moving from Ro to where Ellie sat with her back to us. “You probably know of it being so close. Bridgehill?”

“I do,” Ro said. “It’s a coastal holiday town I never had the time off to visit.” She tucked her shoulder-length blonde hair behind her ear. “Have you got family there?”

While Gabe gave Ro the spiel we’d already delivered a few times to others, out of nowhere, a flashback of my boots thumping on the pavement as I chased down Dane assaulted me, the memory harsh and violent and impossible to believe it belonged to me—or the me I’d been a week ago when the thought of murdering people hadn’t entered my mind.

As everyone chatted about Bridgehill and the idea of Ro and the girls coming with us, the weight on my chest intensified. I couldn’t keep up with the conversation, tuning in and out as each new image crowded my brain. Blood. Shouting. A literal fight to the death.

Stress built inside me, taking over until I wanted to tear at my skin to let it free.

Just as the urge to run overwhelmed me, Cruz said in a low voice, “Do you want to go outside?”

I nodded as the claustrophobic feeling I’d experienced at the waterfall came over me again.

I needed space.

Lots of space.

We pushed back our chairs, and Cruz shared a few quiet words with Jonah before we left.

Feeling like I was about to make the walk toward my execution, I followed him outside and off to the left, entering an undercover area with a bricked-in barbeque and a long table with benches on each side.

Cruz perched on the end of the table, feet planted wide on the ground.

My heartbeats played in my ears and my stomach was churning before we’d even started our conversation. It had been so easy between us right from the start that to experience any kind of awkwardness threw me.

He reached out and grabbed my hand, pulling me toward him. “Why do you look so scared?”

“I haven’t seen you all pensive and quiet like this before. I don’t like it.”

He captured both my wrists, stroking the spots where I suspected my pulse was already beating faster. “Why don’t you like it?” he asked, his voice a tempting invitation.

I huffed out a breath. “I feel like I’ve upset you, and now I’m on the point of spiralling even though everything turned out fine. None of our people were hurt. I survived—but you could barely look at me after it happened, and I don’t know why.”

He examined me for a long moment, his expression changing in miniscule ways to match his thoughts. “That wasn’t intentional,” he said. “You ran after a deranged idiot who would have killed you if he’d got the chance, and I didn’t know where you were. When I found out you were alive, my brain was still locked on the losing you part.” He paused for a beat, then continued. “I’m worried about you, querida .”

“Because of what I did?” Indignation rose inside me. “He had to die.”

His hold on my wrists kept me still when I would have paced. “I’m not questioning that decision.”

“What then?” Tears pooled in my eyes, and an errant one ran down my cheek. The careful way he watched me would have more of them falling soon.

“You ran off without backup, without an exit strategy, if it all went to shit. You put your need for revenge above everything else—including your own safety. You were reckless.” Cruz paused, as if considering whether to continue. “He didn’t need to die today,” he went on . “ That pendejo didn’t know where Ro and the girls lived. When he took off down the alley, you should have stayed with the group and let him go—or at least waited for Remy or Gabe.”

In my defence, I didn’t know Dane was unaware of Ro’s address, and if I’d had that piece of information before I decided to chase him, the result may have been different. But I couldn’t change it now.

I swiped a tear with the back of my hand. My throat ached, and I suddenly wanted to turn away from the caring look in his ridiculously beautiful eyes. “I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything.” He released my wrists and cradled my head in both hands, running his thumbs under my eyes. “I know a person who’s been pushed too far when I see one.”

“I’m okay now, though.”

His thumbs stilled, and he gave me a flat look. “Is that why you’re crying?”

I let out a watery laugh and rested my hands on his waist.

When we first met, Cruz had seen me sneaking around the streets like the ninja Haruto had nicknamed me. Our initial meeting came after many days of feeling each other out—nothing spontaneous, because I liked to avoid unnecessary risks. Today, he’d watched me hunt Dane down specifically to end his life. It suddenly made me sick, and when I imagined what it must have looked like to him and the others, the bitter sting of bile crawled up my throat.

“I don’t know what came over me,” I said. “I’ve never felt that kind of rage or been that impulsive.”

“The fight instinct,” he said with a vague smile, tracing the newest bump on my forehead. “Seems like you got more than your fair share.” His humour faded and a sweet, soft moment passed between us. “You keep forgetting you’re human in some pretty fucked up, inhuman situations. Why do you think you need to be strong all the time, or that every decision you make has to be perfect?”

“Because it’s expected of me, and I don’t want to let anyone down?”

“Bullshit," he said. "Leaning on someone doesn’t make you weak. We all do it. It’s the whole point of having a group, otherwise you might as well be alone—and for the record, you couldn’t let us down if you tried.”

I’d never regret my decision to trust Cruz and leave my home with him. It opened my world and allowed me to meet people I couldn’t have known if I’d stayed on my own in the city. I was human, though, and I needed to learn how to take it easier on myself. “Well, that last part’s not true. I disappointed you an hour ago,” I reminded him.

“You didn’t disappoint me.” Cruz rested his hands at the base of my neck, his warmth chasing away the chill. “You scared the shit out of me,” he said, looking into my eyes. “You’re important to me, to all of us—just like Jonah said. We need you, and I want to make sure we don’t lose you to all the shit out there.”

I dragged in a shuddering breath, his words sobering and heartwarming at the same time. “You won’t.”

“ I need you, carino.” When he leaned in and let his mouth hover beside mine, heat rushed to my face. “Don’t run off like that again.”

The rough edge to his voice set off sparks inside me, and the weight on my chest lifted. “I won’t.” I turned my head and gave him a slow, soft kiss. “You don’t need to worry about that anymore.”

Cruz examined me for a long moment, giving me a hint of a smile before he captured my mouth again. He sighed through his nose and sank into the kiss, slipping his arms around my waist to keep me pressed against him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and maintained the physical connection with him wherever possible; my home, my person, the man I wanted to be with always.

We went on like that for a while, and even when our mouths separated, he didn’t let me go far. He wrapped me up in a hug so tight it was like we were melded together, with every muscle in his body straining against me. His strength tempered the chaos inside me, and the longer he held onto me, the more I felt like myself again.

As my heartbeat slowed, he pressed a kiss against my overheated neck, then said so softly I could barely hear it, “ Te amo .”

The gruffness in his voice roused my interest, and I pulled back, ready to learn some new words. “What does that mean?” I asked with a smile.

The pink hue to his skin suggested those particular words hadn’t been meant for my ears. “It’s nothing.”

Seeing the normally unflappable Cruz rattled only fuelled my curiosity. “Oh, it’s most definitely something. What did you say to me?”

Before he could decide whether to share the secret with me, Gabe opened the sliding door and stepped outside. Under other circumstances, the relief that passed over Cruz’s features would have amused me, but not today. “Gabe, do you know any Spanish?”

“Not unless we’re talking hola and adios . Don’t you have a fluent Spanish speaker right there in front of you?”

“He’s being suspiciously non-compliant.”

With a huff of laughter, Cruz planted one last kiss on my lips, then eased me back so he could move away from the table. “What do you need?” he asked, approaching Gabe.

Gabe glanced from Cruz to me, then back again. “Some of the guys want to go out on a run before dark. Tae mentioned a few farms he hasn’t been to yet. Said they might have guns.”

“I’ll come with you,” I said, ready to get back out there again now that we’d cleared the air.

Cruz slid me a look. “You’re staying here.”

Gabe raised his brows at Cruz’s tone. Neither of us were used to him speaking to me this way.

I considered my chances of winning if I argued with him. Our gazes meshed, the challenge in his equal parts intimidating and exciting. I hadn’t seen that hard gleam directed my way before. Although I knew there were only good intentions behind it, a shiver moved between my shoulder blades.

“I’m going back inside to wait,” Gabe said. “You two look like you’re about to fight or get naked, and I don’t want to be around for either when you get into it. We’re leaving in five.”

He returned to the house to give us another minute alone. As the door clicked shut, our attention remained locked on each other, and the mood grew darker, more intense. Thrilling in the best kind of way.

“I vote for getting naked,” he said, lowering his gaze to my breasts.

A rush of desire took me by surprise. “What if I want to fight?”

“I’ll be as rough as you want me to be.”

Desperation roared through me as my nipples tightened. How could he talk to me so casually and turn my entire body into flames? “Cruz.”

His eyes smiled at me, dispersing the heaviness between us in an instant. “Olivia.”

The quick shift from lust to affection had that feeling of wanting to cry coming out of nowhere again. As I pushed the emotion down, it forced me to admit I could benefit from some downtime. “You win. I’ll stay here while you go out.”

“ Gracias, mi amor. ”

His accent, the way he looked at me… My heart turned soft and vulnerable whenever he was around, and I loved the security of knowing he’d protect it for me. He closed the distance between us in two quick strides, then dipped his head to place a hard, heated kiss on my lips. “I’ll be back in a couple of hours.”

“Wait.” I grabbed fistfuls of his shirt to keep him close, earning a raised eyebrow. “Whatever those words meant, I liked the look on your face when you said them to me. Say them again.”

With the ghost of a smile, Cruz swept the wisps of hair from my forehead and palmed my temples. He dipped his head, kissed me softly, then said beside my mouth, “ Te amo. ”

The words came easier the second time, and I held onto his forearms, wishing I had it in me to beg him to stay. He’d probably stick around if I did. “It’ll be dark soon. Please be safe.”

“I’ll try my best to stay out of trouble.”

We always did, but it had a way of finding us.