Page 48 of The Flirtation

I thought things were going so well. I couldn’t quite figure this woman out. “It will be likeNotting Hillexcept I’m better looking and more charming and masculine than Hugh Grant and you’re more beautiful and glamorous than Julia Roberts and infinitelyfunnier.”

“I wouldn’t know, I haven’t seen thatone.”

“Intelligent decision. It’s rubbish. I should have said it’ll be likeFour Weddings and a Funeralonly with three fewer weddings and one less funeral. Hopefully. Well, two fewer weddings if we go to Bucket and Ingrid’s next wedding. You’re planning on attending,yes?”

“Um. Yes. I mean, if they actually send an invitation.You?”

“Fer sure. If they actually send an invitation…So you have nothing against weddings, but you refuse to watch romantic comedyfilms?”

“Well. I’ll go to a wedding if I’m invited, of course, but I’m not crazy about weddings. I haven’t watched romantic comedies since my father left, because romantic comedies are a lie. They’re manipulative and they set up falseexpectations.”

I laughed. “Of course they do, but that’s no reason not to watch them. If you don’t watch rom coms, the terrorists win.”Does that mean you have no intention of gettingmarried?

I made her watchLove Actuallyright then and there. I purchased it from iTunes and we watched it on my laptop. She agreed to watch it solely because of Emma Thompson and Colin Firth. By the end of it, she was trying so hard not to cry, and she was furious because she felt somanipulated.

“I will not cry. I will not let a romantic comedy beat me. I will not let life beat me. It’s just a stupid voiceover and people hugging at airports in slow motion who cares! Why did I have to watch an entire movie just to seethat?!”

I wanted to make her watchSense and Sensibility, because I knew she’d love it and apparently I couldn’t avoid thinking about Hugh Grant movies when I was with her, but her phone rang. It was her sister, so she took thecall.