Page 78 of The Fallen Man

Caitlin nodded. “It might even be good,” she said. “I mean, it got weird there for a minute. Maybe this will just be a nice reset and we can get back to normal.”

“Back to fucking each other’s brains out, you mean? Yeah. God, I want your normal.”

Jackson

Packing

Jackson tossed his shirt into the suitcase. And looked at his phone on the bed.

Thanks for letting me know.

That wasn’t what he’d wanted her to say. He didn’t know what he’d expected, but whatever it had been, he hadn’t wanted that. He’d meant the text to be more of a conversation starter, only he realized that they didn’t have any practice at conversations like that, and her response left him no openings.

The bruises on her throat had hit him like a punch from a prizefighter. His first thought was that they looked like the bruises on his mother’s throat. And then all he could think was that they were from someone else, someone that she had asked to do that to her. The fact that she hadn’t was a relief. His anger was easy to transfer to someone who deserved it.

Thanks for letting me know.

But the impersonal message had brought the anger back, and with it came the startling realization that she could very well be sleeping with someone else. And the idea of someone else touching her…

He looked up and saw himself in the mirror and was startled to see his mother looking back at him. It was in the hard, angry set of his mouth. He looked away, annoyed. This had his mother all over it. It was like tripping over something he thought he’d put away. He didn’t get possessive like she did. He didn’t get jealous or dictate sex and pain, doling out either as rewards or punishments. He kept himself free and unencumbered on purpose.

But the idea of someone else kissing Katie, some other manputting his hands on her body, of her saying else’s name as she came, was like burr in his shirt that poked him no matter which way he turned.

He’d tied himself to his cousins on purpose; they were the only ones with any claim on him. But that was the problem, wasn’t it? Katie didn’t want to claim him.

Yes, he had fucked her, but she had made him say the words. She didn’t belong to him.

Thanks for letting me know.

He took a deep breath. Katie had been perfectly clear. He loved that she never mixed signals. He was never confused about where she’d drawn the lines. It was just the bruises. It was too much like his mother. It had tripped him up. This feeling would pass. It was probably good that he was going away for a few days. He could get back to normal. And then he could come back, and he and Katie could return to normal. Weren’t they happy the way they were? Why was he trying to fuck up a good thing with his baggage?

14

Jackson

The Hotel

Jackson staggered to the door of his hotel room and opened it. Evan was on the other side, wearing jeans and a Gen-Tech T-shirt.

“What time is it?” he asked, blinking at Evan.

“Six forty-five. No one is up, and I’m bored.”

“So you thought you’d inflict yourself on me?”

“Yes,” said Evan with a grin. “I want to watch cartoons and eat breakfast.”

Jackson shrugged and walked back to the bed. He climbed in, and Evan flopped down next to him.

Eleanor owned a two-bedroom apartment for when she was in DC, but with all of the cousins in town, Jackson had elected to stay with them at the hotel. At the moment, he regretted that decision.

Evan called for breakfast on the hotel phone and then turned on the TV to the cartoon network. Jackson ignored him, burrowed deeper under the covers, and wished he had Katie to wrap himself around. He was in the drifting place of almost sleep when his phone rang. He grabbed it and saw Dominique’s picture. He grunted, unlocked the phone, and shoved it at Evan.

“Hey, Nika,” said Evan, taking the phone. “No, I’m in Jackson’s room watching cartoons.” There was a pause as Dominique spoke. “Yeah, of course. I’ll order more breakfast.”

“They’re coming up?” asked Jackson.

“Yeah,” said Evan, handing the phone back.