Page 49

Tobie

Late one evening, I take a gamble that Caleb will be on the ice days after he, Reid, and Javier brought movies and snacks to my room.

I make my way down the quiet hallway toward the rink.

He’s on the ice, alone, but he’s not slamming pucks into the goal like I thought he would be. He doesn’t even have his stick in his hand. It’s resting on the side of the rink near the entrance closest to me.

He’s standing in the center, staring down at the empty goal, his expression thoughtful.

Maybe now isn’t a good time.

I turn to leave.

“You chasing down your dream yet, Myers?”

I halt at his voice, my fingers inches from the door handle, and turn around to find he’s skated toward me.

“I applied for a master’s in teaching at the University of Michigan.”

I did it last night when I couldn’t sleep. Like ripping off a Band-Aid, I furiously typed out my application to the grad school of my dreams in Ann Arbor. I won’t get in, but at least when I get the rejection, I’ll know I aimed for the impossible.

He nods, then cocks his head. “Something is wrong.”

I pick my fingers nervously. “I have to talk to you about something.”

He gives me a probing look, then skates to the side and swaps them for his sneakers in record time. “Come on down.”

I’m already shivering without a coat, and I’m feet away from the ice.

Caleb recognizes this because he points his chin to the left side of the arena. “We’ll take a walk.”

“Okay.”

As we walk, I say none of the things I came here to say.

“What is it, Tobie?” he quietly asks me.

I stop walking, staring straight ahead. “I came to end this fake-date agreement. I know you didn’t, uh, really want to do it at all. But, well, can you tell the others?”

It wouldn’t take much convincing from Reid or Javier to change my mind if they said they wanted it to continue, mostly because I don’t want it to end at all.

The way they looked after me when I had my period cemented the decision.

For five days, they were so sweet to me.

They took it in turns staying over. I felt spoiled.

They hugged me constantly, brought me food, and took care of me in a way no one had before.

I’ve fallen for them, and losing them is going to destroy me. I need to walk away now before I fall any deeper.

“Because you still love your ex?”

I shake my head.

I’m not sure what I feel. My feelings haven’t been nearly as raw and painful as I thought they would be when mourning the end of a six-year relationship.

Maybe it wasn’t just Marc who was pulling away from me. Maybe I was pulling away from him as well.

I dart a rapid glance at Caleb when he doesn’t respond.

He’s not looking at me. He has his hands in his pockets as he stares off into the distance.

“I, uh… should probably go and?—”

“Is there anything I can say to change your mind?”

His soft question silences me like nothing else could have.

I frown. “I don’t understand.”

We slept together. Twice . Both times were incredible, but I keep thinking that it was just about us having fun the way Max was urging me to.

This agreement always had an end date. Caleb is making it sound as if it doesn’t. Like it’s something that could keep going.

He turns to look at me now. Serious. Focused. Intense. “Is there anything I can say to change your mind?”

“Why would you want to? I mean, it worked, right? I got revenge on Marc. Girls aren’t hassling you anymore. It’s over.”

“He begged you to take him back?”

I shake my head. “He won’t. I’m not a girl that guys beg for, Caleb.” I fight to control my tears because this fake relationship feels so real that even the breakup is like someone gutted me.

He cradles my jaw, lifting it slightly because six-foot-four him will always make five-foot-four me feel small in comparison. “Then why do I want to beg you to stay?”

He didn’t just say…

I peek over my shoulder just to make sure.

One corner of his mouth lifts, and it’s so achingly handsome when a guy who hardly ever smiles smiles for you. “Did you just check if I was talking to you?”

“There might have been a girl behind me,” I say defensively. “It could have been one of those cringeworthy moments where you see someone waving, and you wave back even though they don’t look familiar, but they were waving at someone behind you. I wanted to be sure. That’s all.”

His smile turns into a full-bodied grin. It’s so gorgeous I cannot believe he even knows I exist, let alone wants me . “Well, there wasn’t. That actually happened to me before.”

“It did? What did you do?”

“I was so embarrassed I started talking to the guy like I knew him, and I had no fucking clue who he was. He played along, but I could tell he was wondering who the fuck I was.”

I laugh. “No way.”

“Way.” His smile fades.

So does mine.

For the longest second in the world, we just look at each other. I couldn’t break that stare for all the money in the world.

I don’t know who moves first.