Page 38 of The Ex Project (The Heartwood #3)

“Millers don’t lose. I don’t know if you’re aware,” I remind him, and he wraps his hands around my hips, cupping the curve of my ass in his hands.

“I’m aware. If you’re not first, you’re last.” Hudson recites it because he heard it enough being in my home growing up. “And Millers are never last.”

“Millers are never last,” I repeat, a hint of pride in my voice, but somehow even I don’t believe it.

“Do you ever wonder,” Hudson starts, and I can almost finish his sentence for him, “if your dad’s saying is part of the reason for the panic attack you had last night?”

I glance off to the side of him, trying to evade eye contact.

Because I’ve only just accepted that it was a panic attack.

I don’t know how I missed it for so long.

If I’m truthful, I’ve always known it somewhere deep down.

It was easier to think I was having some strange health issue that would spontaneously resolve if I distracted myself well enough.

Sensing my discomfort, Hudson cups my jaw and gently pulls my face back so I’m peering up at him. His expression is soft, open, no ounce of judgement evident on his face.

“At some point we should talk about it,” he says softly. “It was intense. And it wasn’t the first time it happened.”

“No, it wasn’t.”

“Like the night of the public forum?” Hudson asks hesitantly.

“Like the night of the public forum,” I confirm. “But how did you know?”

“Emma told me,” he admits. “After you got in the truck. I guess she knows someone who has panic attacks and said what you went through was textbook.”

“Ah.” I nod and turn away, taking a step back from him.

“She didn’t mean anything by telling me. She was worried about you.”

“And let me guess, you were too.”

“Yes! I was worried sick about you. I didn’t want to leave you home alone in that state.”

“Then why did you?”

“What?” Hudson sounds exasperated.

“Why did you leave me alone? If you were so worried.” I prod him, the little voice inside me telling me to seek out any evidence that Hudson might leave me again, that he’s the same teenager who only thinks about himself.

“I didn’t.” He scrubs a hand down his face. “I slept outside your house in my truck so I could be close if you needed me, okay? I didn’t leave you.”

The air leaves my lungs in one swift woosh, leaving me breathless and unable to speak.

I wouldn’t know what to say anyway. I’ve never had anyone worry about me, not truly.

Not for my wellbeing. My parents worry about me becoming destitute because I’m such a fuck up in their eyes.

But I don’t think it stems from care about me, more so that I might sully the Miller name.

And now here’s Hudson, who spent the night in his truck in case I needed him.

“You … you stayed. Out there. All night.” Hudson takes a step towards me again, closing the distance between us.

“Yep.”

“In your truck.”

“That’s right.” Heat radiates off his broad chest. He’s only a couple of inches away from me now, and I could make it nothing in a second if I wanted to.

And wow do I want to. I want to kiss this man, standing in front of me with everything laid bare.

Hudson said he still cared about me, said he still loved me, and now I’m certain it’s true.

It makes me realize I don’t hate him. It makes me realize Hudson has never been my enemy, and I still love him, too.

“What about Ruby?” I say, shifting the conversation before I admit to him what I’ve only just admitted to myself.

“What about her?” Hudson cocks his head, the corner of his mouth ticking upward.

“Well, she’s a princess, Hudson. Don’t tell me you made her sleep in a truck overnight with you.” I lean down and ruffle her ears. “Poor thing.”

“Oh, she’s fine. Jett hung out with her at home.

She was also concerned about you, just so you know.

” Now it’s my turn to cock my head towards him as I stand back up straight.

“I had her trained as an emotional support dog for the firehall. Sometimes I bring her to particularly traumatic calls. I think the reason she was so attached to you right away is because she could tell you were struggling. I feel stupid now, honestly. Because it was obvious the way she was behaving the first night you came over, and I should have seen it.”

I glance down at Ruby, who has now taken a seat by my feet and is pushing her head into my leg, staring up at me lovingly.

Her tail thumps on the floor, and tears sting my eyes.

I was so dismissive of her, and she was only trying to help.

I lean down again, this time placing a kiss on her forehead and whispering into her fur.

“Thanks, Rubes. I don’t deserve you.” She pulls her head away so she can slurp my face, her flat wet tongue covering my cheek in drool. It’s as if she always knows exactly what I need, because it pulls a giggle from me that eases the pain in my chest.

“You know, Miller, this competition between us … the arts centre, I mean,” Hudson starts, reminding me of what I need to face today.

I lost the vote, and I have to tell my boss.

I’ll have to send him the final winning design, Hudson’s design.

He’ll flip his shit and tell me it doesn’t align with VanTek’s portfolio, and it will be the end of the discussion about a promotion.

I take a few steps towards Hudson and perch on my tip toes to wrap my arms around his neck, placing a soft kiss on his mouth so he doesn’t keep talking.

I’ve never been a good sport when it comes to losing—that’s no secret.

But when I’m around Hudson, it doesn’t matter what games we’re playing, or what the score is between us, I feel like I’m winning.

I want to live in the feeling for a while longer.

“I don’t want to talk about the vote today, Landry,” I whisper into the air between our faces. “My boss can wait. Today I want to spend the day with you and Rubes.”

Hudson kisses me back, wrapping his arms around my waist again. He smiles against my mouth.

“Okay, Miller. Today we can do whatever you want to do.”