Page 88 of The Enforcer's Rejected Mate

“I got it.”

“The hells you do. I let you go see the Beta and those two hens on your own and more trouble than it’s worth is going to find you, which,” he pokes me in the chest, “I don’t fucking need. One more thing to keep an eye on with the patrols you’ve been going on.”

“The border has to be patrolled. You know something is coming.”

It’s true, the ferals have been riled and there’s been noise about Moonshadow Pack making a play for trouble after we refused to partner with them. They’re to the North of us and usually they’re keen enough to keep to themselves but their alpha has been on a power trip lately. No idea what the hell has him pushing to expand past the traditional borders.

“Trouble might be brewing but you’re obsessed. We all know it and see it.”

“I keep the pack safe.”

“No one blames you. We were too young to stop what happened.” He means the fire. The orphans Frostclaw took. I see the girl then, the memory springs to life in front of me. The way she was so unafraid when I couldn’t move a damn muscle.

“I’m not too young now. I’m not letting shit happen in those woods.”

“There’s talk of you turning feral.”

I scoff. “The only pack member that would believe that is Annie.”

Lucian shakes his head. “It’s not just the gossips. You’re gone too long, you stay in your wolf too long, you need…” his voice trails off and I’m grateful he doesn’t say what we both know he almost does.

An omega.

I need an omega to take the edge off of the behavior he’s claiming the pack is seeing from me. An omega would even me out, make me more in tune with the calm that gets more and more elusive by the fucking day. I’m old enough that I should have taken a mate but no one has felt right. None of the omegas in the pack have held my attention long enough to pull me away from my duties to the pack.

As much as I want to tell Lucian he’s full of shit, I don’t. Ronan’s made some noise about it even if I ignored it.“You’re a hell of an Enforcer but it’s good to settle down. Even if you lose it, at least you’ll have had it. Not everyone lives long enough to get a taste of peace.”

Peace.

I haven’t felt peace in so very long.

“You know I’m right. You need something more.” I grunt but don’t say anything which suits Lucian just fine. “That means you don’t pay anyone a visit without me there, and that sure as hell means no going to the Alpha until we’ve figured out the new healer more. She’s not dangerous, she’s not a spy. She’s just a girl who was raised in hell.”

Hell.

If I were to think of where and what hell would be, Frostclaw Pack would be the first place I think of.

“Who knows what she went through there. What the others that are still there are enduring.”

Lucian’s right. My gut twists and I want to turn around and go right back to Cordelia. Shame burns in me because I don’t know what she’s been through. I didn’t ask her but I do know what Frostclaw is capable of. All of us do.

Except we only endured one day with them. She lasted years.

“Fuck,” I rasp.

“Fuck is right,” Lucian mutters and then jerks his head in the direction of where the training rooms are. “How about you blow off some steam with the recruits? They’ve been a little too lazy for my liking. You’ll scare them into shape so we’re ready for Moonshadow or any other pack that thinks they’ve got what it takes to challenge us.”

The idea of letting loose in the training rooms is a bright spot in the shame and anger that I feel about how things went with Cordelia today. I might not know how to keep my head aroundthe omega but I do know how to do this. I was made to be a weapon, so that’s exactly what I intend to do. It’s the only time the world makes any sense.

“Lead the way,” I tell Lucian.

Chapter

Thirty-Seven

CORDELIA

After a cup of chamomile and mint tea, the rest of the morning passes peacefully enough, which is an unexpected development after the excitement of telling off both Cassidy and Thorne. I had my first patient, a pup with a cough that was easy enough to fix with a recommendation of Marshmallow and Licorice Root tea.