Page 18 of The Elusive Phoebe (The Widows of Lavender Cottage #1)

She had to laugh at his charm. “My, you’ve grown up.”

He dipped his head. “And so have you.”

She didn’t respond with her feelings. She didn’t comment on his statement. And somehow she knew that wasn’t required. The peace in knowing she had time and space, in knowing the constancy of his love settled over her.

She poured his tea how he used to take it and then they settled back into their seats.

A sense of calm came over her. She was still very much in control of her life.

She could do as she wished, sit with an old friend she loved but didn’t know if she wanted to marry.

Everything was going to be well. She smiled.

“So, tell me Archie. What have you been doing with yourself? I hope you have good news to counter my previous abysmal situation.”

He laughed. “Someone had to be having a time of it, is that it?”

“Precisely.”

He laughed again. “I’ve definitely come upon good fortune.”

“Oh?”

He leaned forward conspiratorially. “And lots of it.”

She laughed. “I bet that’s something you don’t repeat to all the girls.”

He shook his head. “No, I don’t. But some have gotten wind of it, I’m afraid.”

“You’re afraid?”

He shuddered. “I truly am.”

At that, she laughed out loud. “Are they determined to win your heart?”

He shook his head. “I’ve not met one wanting anything to do with my heart. But they all seem wildly interested in my purse.” He tsked. “Which is not available to a single one of them.”

“Archie. You are too good. What if I’ve become an ogre of the worst sort? ”

“I could never believe it. Nor would I care. I love you, ogre or not.”

“And what if I snore or slurp my food or lose all my teeth?” She arched an eyebrow but he could do nothing but laugh.

“This is serious. What if…”

He held up his hands. “I will love you until the day I die no matter what. You could tell me you carried another man’s child and I would raise him as my own. This is forever, Phoebes. I mean it.”

She looked away, desperately trying to pretend her world had not just turned upside down and righted itself again all in a matter of three breaths.

Breathe. Behave normally. She cleared her throat.

She wanted to whisper the truth. I do carry another man’s child.

But it was too soon, too much. She’d not dared speak the words to anyone.

She’d not fully grappled with it herself.

“Ah, I’ve made you uncomfortable. Let’s move on to other topics, just please believe my sincerity. You may rely on it.”

She nodded, unable to speak for a moment. A sip of tea helped restore her, a bit. “Tell me how you found me.”

His eyebrows rose, and then he placed his cup on the saucer. “I had a courier followed. ”

“Oh dear.” She looked out the window again to see if anything seemed amiss.

But he held up a hand. “No one else was of the same mind.”

“But anyone could do so, if you thought of it, so could they.”

“Very true, but they would also have to know your solicitor, which was difficult to discover, and watch him day and night.” His cheeks turned an amusing shade of red.

She was somewhat eased, but the idea of anyone finding her so simply did not sit well. Then she grinned. “You watched my solicitor day and night?”

He dipped his head. “I would have just waited until you responded to my letter. I would have given you the space you obviously desire, but I could not when I suspect you might be at risk.”

“I thought you just said no one else followed, that it would be difficult.”

“It would, and it’s true, but not impossible. I’ve heard talk. Some.” He shook his head. “Nothing alarming, but enough that I came as soon as I could. Whatever servants you have coming, I’d like to add several more footmen.”

She opened her mouth in dismay, partly hidden gratitude, but she shook her head. “And where would they sleep? I have nowhere to house a full livery.”

“They can sleep at the Inn. I will see to it. But I wish you to have the protection you deserve.”

She narrowed her eyes a moment.

“What is it?” He leaned forward. “What makes you uncomfortable?”

“Are you certain they are not simply a new form of jailer?” She shifted in her seat, adjusting her skirts. “I’ll not have people about me, reporting my every move.”

He shook his head. “Of course. I understand that. I will communicate as much to them. You can communicate those very words in my presence. They will be your servants, loyal to you. But ready to protect you if the need arises.”

She breathed easier. “But the complication still remains. You really wish to buy out an Inn?”

“Is there an estate nearby? A barn? Something we could convert to more servants’ quarters?”

She considered the idea. “Perhaps.” She toyed with her skirts a moment and then made a decision to trust him a bit more. “I do have my own bit of fortune, you know.”

“You do?” He tilted his head. “Was the old man good to you at the end then? ”

She stood, tugging on his arm to lead them to the sitting room.

“I think he was. I think…He meant to be all along.” She reached down to the table, lifting the stack of correspondence. “I just received these.”

“Are those letters?”

“From him.” She nodded. “I find them difficult to read, alone.” She lifted her gaze to his face. “Would you…”

“Read them with you?” He moved around the table to sit beside her. “Absolutely.”

She lifted the nearest one. “I’ve only read the first half so far.

It declares his good intentions. He…” Her mouth quivered.

“This is more difficult than I thought. But to catch you up, he hoped to love me, wanted a true marriage. But apparently, he was involved in something dangerous? It put him and us at risk.” Her hands started shaking.

“My prison was more a safe house than a jail, apparently.”

They sat and he reached for her hand, lacing their fingers then lifted the letter with his other hand. “May I?”

She nodded and then leaned back in the sofa, trying to compose herself. It was difficult to share, but also a relief. This burden could be carried with another. “Read it aloud, please. Start at the next bit there.” She indicated where she’d left off.

He nodded. He started reading. And at first it was odd to hear her late husband’s words through the voice of Archie, but at the same time it eased her mind and soothed her emotions.

“ The less you know about the specific details of my work for the Crown the better, but you do need to know some of what has happened. I have enemies both in our country and abroad, but I am going to ask something of you I don’t deserve and that is for your trust. I want you to know that no matter what you hear, I am one of the good guys.

The men on my team are good. And our enemies are bad, some in our government and some out. ”

He paused. “Do you believe that?”

She studied his face a moment. “Do I believe that he was one of the good guys?” She paused a moment and then nodded.

“Two days ago I’d have said no. But these letters show me a different perspective, and when I consult my memories, I find a new way of remembering.

I don’t know. I think I believe him.” Her throat caught.

“I’d like to believe him. It would mean a lot if the man I married didn’t find me disappointing.

” She looked away. There was no way to pretend or try to speak with a lighter tone.

It was one of her deepest fears and it had just come pouring out because she was talking to Archie and because she’d been without anyone to share those types of worries with for two long years.

He took her other hand in his. “Phoebe. There is no way you were a disappointment to him.” He shook his head.

“I can’t even fathom that being true in any way.

He was working for the government. He was in a lot of trouble.

I don’t know what else went on between you, but I do know he was not a normal man, with normal concerns.

And you shouldn’t view the way he treated you with normal eyes.

” Archie stared into her face with such intensity, his eyes speaking so much truth, she almost had to believe him.

But she couldn’t speak. It was all too much. So, she just waved for him to keep reading.

He didn’t. He just stared, his eyes taking in her face, her hair, her hands. He smiled. “Phoebe, you are the most incredible woman I have ever seen.”

“Oh, stop Archie.”

“I’m serious.”

“As much as I love hearing that, would love to believe you, it’s just too much right now.” She looked away. “I can’t…” She sighed.