Page 27 of The Duke’s Ultimatum (Unrelenting Lords #1)

CHAPTER 27

E leanor found herself walking towards her favorite bench in the garden. Her mother just left her room after telling her what to expect on the night of her wedding. Eleanor was sure her face gave her away, but her mother continued on as if she was talking to a naive girl and not someone who propositioned a duke to take her virginity.

Her heart ached with the thought of the Duke. She succeeded in avoiding him the past week but only in the physical sense. However, his essence haunted her very soul. There was no morning she did not look for him at the breakfast table. No walk past his study door that she didn’t have to fight the instinct to peer in. No night where her dreams weren’t full of his touches and commands.

She turned the corner and saw a familiar sight, one that tore her already hurting heart apart.

“Your Grace?”

Derek turned at her voice. “Eleanor.” He stood up, wiping his hands on his trousers. “What are you doing out so late? Shouldn’t you be sleeping?”

Derek’s eyes dropped. She wasn’t used to seeing him so unsure of himself.

Eleanor chewed on her bottom lip. How could she have forgotten how handsome he was? His dark hair curled over his collar, and Eleanor’s fingertips buzzed with the memory of the silky strands in her hands. She fisted her hands to stop herself from reaching out to touch his hair.

Derek cleared his throat. “You have a big day tomorrow.”

Eleanor tried to force a smile. “I know. That’s why I’m out here. I couldn’t sleep.”

“Excited?”

Eleanor raised a slight shoulder. She couldn’t find the words, so she settled for looking out over the gardens.

“I should go.” Derek started to move, and Eleanor put her hand up.

“No. Stay.” Eleanor’s voice was clear and steadfast. She knew she shouldn’t be here with him on the night before her wedding, but there was something telling her not to let him go.

“It’s a nice night, and after tomorrow, who knows when we’ll see each other like this.”

“Alone, you mean?”

Eleanor swallowed. There was hint of sadness in Derek’s voice. She nodded her head. “Yes.”

Eleanor reached out her hand. “Come. Sit with me.”

Derek looked at her hand before bringing his eyes back up to meet hers. Eleanor’s throat ran dry, and her heart began to beat faster. Yet, when he took her hand, the world around them slowed down, and for the first time in a week, she felt at peace.

Together they walked to the bench and sat down. Neither one of them said anything as they sat together, still holding hands.

Eleanor closed her eyes and let her body sink into the moment and prayed she could recall this night whenever she was feeling lost or low.

Right here in this moment with the man she couldn’t have, she felt at peace.

“Eleanor? May I ask you something?”

Eleanor opened her eyes to find Derek looking at her. “Of course.”

“I once asked you why you haven’t married yet, and you told me it was that you hadn’t found anyone compatible. Was that true?”

Eleanor dipped her head. “In a way, yes.”

“And in another way?” Derek asked.

Eleanor sighed. “How do I explain it?” She turned her body, so she was facing him, their hands still connected on her lap.

“All my life, I was raised to be one thing, a high society wife. I was tutored on etiquette in and out of the ballroom, taught how to throw parties and events. The older I got, the more I realized I was raised to be someone’s trophy, and that’s exactly how people started to treat me. Want exposure? Dance with Eleanor, her family knows everyone. Want a successful event? Have Eleanor plan it. Want to be seen as the new up-and-coming viscount? Be seen with Eleanor. Everyone saw me as a tool to achieve their goal; no one actually got to know me, so therefore, they could never love me. But that was back when I was looking for love.”

She sighed. Back when things seemed easier.

Derek’s hand tightened around hers. “Is Hountshire using you?” Derek’s voice was low and guttural which reignited the dying ember in Eleanor’s core.

“No, no. I didn’t mean that.” Eleanor winced. “Well, not entirely. I do get the feeling that he sees me as the epitome of the perfect wife, and that is the main reason why he asked me to marry him. I sometimes wonder if he met someone as equally perfect in the ton’s eyes if he would’ve asked her.” Eleanor’s eyes drifted out over the garden, not liking the turn in their conversation.

Derek closed his eyes and shook his head. “Fools, all of them.”

Eleanor smiled. “Society isn’t all bad. And you can’t blame them. I played the game just as well. I was raised to be perfect, so I was perfect.” A wave of melancholy washed over her.

Derek let out a small chuckle.

“What’s so funny?” Eleanor asked.

“You were never perfect with me,” Derek said with a devilish grin.

Eleanor let out a laugh, and by God, did it feel good to laugh so unexpectedly.

She swatted at his shoulder with her free hand. ‘That’s not a very nice thing to say.”

They both shared a laugh that once again had Eleanor wishing she could hold onto this night forever.

“May I ask you something now?”

Derek turned his body towards her so now they were both facing each other, their hands still connected. “Of course.”

“Do you want me?”

Derek’s hand tightened again before he tried to pull it away. Eleanor clamped down. “Answer me, Derek. Right now, if you could have me, love me, be with me, would you?”

Derek’s eyes darkened with regret. “Eleanor, you know we?—”

“Forget rules. Forget society.” She scooted closer to him and took his other hand. “Right now, here, in this garden, between you and me, would you have me as your wife?”

Derek said nothing for a moment. They both sat, knees touching knees, hands holding hands, eyes searching eyes.

Finally, Derek sighed and pulled his hands from hers. “You don’t understand, Eleanor. This line of thinking is no good for either one of us. We cannot be.”

“That is not what I’m asking; I’m saying, if you had a choice, would I be it?”

“Those questions will only lead to heartache, Eleanor. I’m not the man for you. I never will be.”

“Says who?”

“Me.”

Eleanor shook her head in confusion. “I don’t understand. The other day at breakfast you alluded that you missed your opportunity with me. What if you didn’t?”

Derek raised an eyebrow. “Last I remember, that day you couldn’t wait to get out of that room to go dress shopping when you heard that! It didn’t seem like you were too keen on the idea of us being together.”

“I was scared, confused. I felt on top of the world after our night together, but I thought it was because whatever was between us had run its course. But I was wrong; it only reinforced it. When I saw you the next morning, my illusion shattered, and I realized that I had just given my heart away to a man who is not my intended husband.”

Derek took Eleanor’s head into his hands. “Don’t say that. I don’t deserve your heart.”

Eleanor ignored his words. “When I heard you say that you felt as if you lost the chance to be with me, I thought I was angry at you; now, I see I was just angry at myself for believing such a ridiculous lie. I was stupid for convincing myself that I felt nothing of worth for you and that marrying Simon would go on as planned without any regrets. But, Derek, I must know, or I will have regrets. Tell me. Would. You. Have. Me?”

Derek sat quiet for moment. He dropped his hands from her face to take her hands. With his thumbs, he rubbed slow circles on the top of her hands.

“Did you know I was once engaged to be married?”

Eleanor furrowed her brow. “No, I did not.”

Derek nodded his head. “I was just a bit older than you, I was engaged to bright, young woman, who was raised much like you were. She was schooled in how to be the renowned, dutiful wife.”

Eleanor’s stomach churned at the thought of Derek being married to someone else. She inwardly cringed at the thought of this unknown woman getting his kisses, his touches. She wanted to pull away, but something told her to sit and listen to his story.

“You’re not married. What happened?”

“Success happened. Or, at least, the promise of success.” Derek looked into Eleanor’s eyes.

“My father introduced me to a man, James Morrison. He offered me a chance to work in one of his factories. I jumped at the opportunity, much to the dismay of my parents. I broke off the engagement to Elizabeth, my parents disowned me, and I made my fortune. And the thing is, Eleanor, and you must understand this next part, I don’t regret it.”

Eleanor cocked her head, not understanding. “Why would it matter to me if you regret it or not? It obviously was the right move for you.”

Derek shook his head. “You don’t understand, Eleanor. I’m not husband material. Up until coming here, I had no intention of settling down, I wanted more out of life than a wife and children.”

Eleanor squeezed his hands. “You said yourself you were young. Perhaps she wasn’t the girl for you, or it wasn’t the right time for you to marry.”

Derek winced. “Eleanor, you were born for this life, I was not. Girls like you and Elizabeth need a husband who will be there for you through all the ups and downs. Someone who’ll be at the society balls or operas. I’m always looking for the newest deal I can make. I need more than society life can give me.” He gestured to the house. “Do you remember what I told you when I first got here? I wanted to marry you all off, so I could get back to my business deals. Having a wife interferes with that.”

Eleanor’s heart broke with each word. She willed the tears that were pooling behind her eyes not to fall.

Derek abruptly stood. “I’m sorry, Eleanor. I cannot be your husband. You deserve more than what I can give you. I’m sure you will be very happy with the Viscount. I wish you well.”

Eleanor stared at the space he had just vacated in shock. His words reverberated in her mind, each word slicing through what little resolve she had left. She knew the Duke must have had some reservations about their relationship, but to hear it put so plainly crushed her very spirit.

With the Duke out of sight, she let the tears fall. She had her answer.

She gave in to her tears and allowed herself this moment to grieve. As soon as she went back into the house, it would be business as usual. She would put herself to bed, wake up, and marry Simon. But for now, in this moment, she would grieve for what she could never have.

The sound of Eleanor’s tears tore at Derek’s heart, but he refused to turn around. He kept telling himself that he was doing this for her. She would have a better life with Hountshire.

Derek’s stomach churned. No matter how much he told himself, he couldn’t fully commit to the idea.

Derek turned down the hallway towards his study.

“Oh, good evening, Your Grace!” Charlotte was walking towards the staircase when she spotted him. “I was just about to turn in for the night. Although, I’m not sure if I’ll be able to sleep with all the excitement.” She looked over his shoulder. “Were you just out in the gardens?”

Derek looked behind him and thought of Eleanor still sitting on the bench with her heart broken because of him. He turned back to Charlotte. “Yes, I needed some fresh air. I’ve been busy these past few days and needed to get outside.”

Charlotte pursed her lips. “Yes, it’s been a few days since we’ve seen you. I was beginning to think you were avoiding us.”

Derek nodded. “Forgive me if I’ve been neglecting any duties I’m responsible for.”

Charlotte waived her hand. “Oh pish posh, I doubt you’re interested in all of the planning that’s been happening with the wedding. You didn’t miss anything.”

Derek nodded his head and opened the door to his study.

“Good night, Charlotte.”

She bowed her head, “Good night, Your Grace.”

When he was about to close the door, he heard Charlotte call out to him, “Your Grace?”

He turned and stood in the doorway. “Yes, Charlotte?”

“You will be there tomorrow, won’t you? For Eleanor?”

Derek rolled his lips. “I will try to be.”

“Try? This is a big moment, one we’ve all waited and hoped for. Why wouldn’t you be there?” Charlotte narrowed her eyes. “Unless you don’t approve of the match.”

Derek shook his head. “I never said that.”

Charlotte tilted her head. “No, you didn’t.” The way she was looking at him made him feel as if he was under a spotlight.

“He’s a perfectly suitable match for a girl like Eleanor,” Derek said.

Charlotte nodded. “Right. A girl like Eleanor.”

Derek was becoming uneasy in her gaze. “Is that all, Charlotte?”

She smiled. “Yes, Your Grace. I hope for her sake you will be in attendance tomorrow. I think it would break her heart if you weren’t.”

He made a noncommittal sound as he stepped back and closed the door. He stalked over to the window that looked out over the garden. He couldn’t see her, but he knew she was still out there.

Charlotte was wrong. He wouldn’t break her heart tomorrow; he had already broken it tonight.