Page 26 of The Duke’s Sworn Spinster (A Duel and a Wedding #1)
Chapter Twenty-Four
“ H e is miserable, Lydia. Completely and utterly beside himself.” Cora shook her head. “He has not left his study since you left, and that was four days ago.”
Lydia’s heart twisted, imagining the kind of state Archer must be in, but she pushed it away. He had made his choice, and she would make hers.
“He could have stopped this, Cora. If he had wanted me to stay, all he had to do was ask. But he did not.” And I gave him so many chances to, but my heart cannot take this anymore. She swallowed, wiping at her eyes to prevent the tears from falling.
“But Lydia, you know as well as I do that men are complete and utter idiots when it comes to this sort of thing, surely you can—” Cora began but Lydia cut her off.
“No, Cora. I have spent my life putting men first and myself second. I am done with it.”
I don’t care how wild he makes my heart; I am not going to put myself second. Not for him. She had given Archer his chance—no, his chances—and what had she got in return? Them thrown in her face and a broken heart.
Cora shook her head, running her hands through her hair in a motion so like her brother’s that it made Lydia’s heart break just a little bit more. “But you are clearly miserable as well. Don’t think I haven’t noticed.”
“I am hardly trying to hide it.” Lydia pointed out dryly.
“So then why are you putting yourself through this? Surely it would be better to come home and work this all out?” Cora’s eyes lit up only for Lydia to extinguish her hope with a sharp shake of her head.
“There is nothing to work out. I asked him if he wanted to be with me, and he told me it was not worth it.” Lydia’s mouth curled, and she continued before Cora could voice her outrage, “I am not telling you this to turn you against him: he is your brother, and he has made his own choices.”
We all make choices. She pushed Archer’s voice from her mind. Go away.
“But he is being an idiot! It has been clear for ages that you two belong together,” Cora exclaimed.
“I think you have just been seeing what you want to see. If we really belonged together, then we would be together.” Lydia tried to ignore the memory of Archer’s arms around her, the ecstasy of his kiss, but her body had other ideas.
Cora shook her head in disgust, but her tone was teasing. “Or you could be two donkeys who seem determined to be miserable without each other.”
“But at least I do not have to be miserable with him. I can just focus on my own misery. Besides, it is getting a little easier as the days go on.” She tried to give her sister-in-law a reassuring smile, but Cora saw right through it.
“You will have to become a better liar than that if you expect me to believe you, Lydia.” Cora gave her an affectionate hug. “Besides, it is not just Dash who misses you. We all do, especially little Iris.”
“And what about you?” Lydia teased.
“Of course, I miss you. You’re the only one who seems to be able to get us all to get along together.
You manage to get Dash to relax a little bit.
Well, quite a lot actually, and before, only Iris could do that.
” She gave Lydia’s shoulders a little squeeze.
“And you always make us smile. More to the point, I don’t see why you should have to live in this musty cottage when by all accounts, it is my brother who has been the prize idiot. ”
“It is still his house, Cora,” Lydia pointed out diplomatically as she gestured to the space around her. “And I like this cottage. It feels like it is mine. I have practically rebuilt it from the ground up, and it is small and cozy.”
“I think you mean poky and damp.” Cora wrinkled her nose. “No offence.”
Lydia knew that Cora was not trying to be harsh; she missed her and wanted to goad her into coming home. I am not so easily bated, Cora.
“It is not damp, and I like small things. It makes me feel at home. And at least I am not going to spend my life getting lost.”
“Please, you hardly ever get lost now. And your kitchen is… Well, it isn’t wonderful.” Cora looked meaningfully at the picnic basket she had brought with her.
“I do miss a good cook,” Lydia admitted. “I only have a limited allowance, and I need to be careful with it. Bread and cheese is more than plenty of people have.”
“You know Dash would give you the money you needed if you asked.” Cora’s brow furrowed.
Lydia made an emphatic gesture that nearly upset their little makeshift coffee table. “I am not going to ask your brother for money. That’s what got me into this whole mess, and I was not even the one foolish enough to ask him!”
“I give up! The two of you are stubborn as rocks. There is no getting through to either of you.” Cora stood up and shook her head. “But please, promise me you will at least ask me for help. I’m not going to have you freezing to death just because my brother is being an ass.”
Could you love an ass? Apparently, she could, but what happened when the ass refused to love you back? We will out stubborn one another. The memory twisted like a knife in her chest, and she pushed it away.
Cora hugged her and left. The door swung shut, and the shadows returned. Lydia stared out of the window and wondered if her heart would ever feel whole again.
Just come home.
“I can’t Cora. I will not go where I am not wanted,” she murmured to the drifting snow.
The next day, Lydia’s sitting room was darkened by the afternoon’s vivacious, condensed storm cloud.
If it had been warmer, it would have turned into thunder and lightning, but so far nothing had materialized.
The snow from the last few days had settled across the landscape, adding another kind of silence that seemed to seep through not just her house but the whole county.
Lydia squirmed in her new armchair, facing the snowy landscape, trying to fight off the restlessness in her legs.
“How pleasant,” Lydia spoke to the silence. She was still not used to how quiet the cottage was since she had grown used to the hustle and bustle of living with Archer and his family. “I am going to get used to it.”
Her voice echoed around her room, and she winced. The fire was dwindling in the grate, and she debated lighting it again, but before she could rouse herself from her chair, Dotty appeared.
“Oh dear, the fire is nearly out Your Grace.” Dotty smiled amiably at her. “We can’t have that now, can we?”
“Don’t bother, Dotty. I think I am going to go for a walk.”
“I don’t like the look of those clouds Your Grace.
Perhaps it would be best if you waited a little longer.
If you get caught in the snow, you’ll be soaked in minutes.
Much better to take a carriage or something, but His Grace has given the driver the day off—his daughter is getting married though I can’t say I think much of her husband?—”
Lydia held up a hand, deciding she wasn’t in the mood for Dotty’s usual whittering. “Then it is a good thing that I know how to drive a carriage.”
“But I thought you didn’t know how to ride.”
“I don’t but a carriage… now that I do know how to do. And if I take something light like the Phaeton…”
“The Phaeton! Your Grace, I know you have an odd sense of humour, but that is not a funny joke.”
“It’s not a joke.” Lydia grabbed one of the coats from the hook and an extra thick scarf along with some gloves and a wooly hat and left before her maid could say another word.
She strode up to the stables, a reckless energy lending speed to her steps.
“Prep the phaeton,” Lydia announced to the stable hands. Two boys had been lazily resting in the hay next to an old crate that held their game of cards, daily wages, and booze.
“The Phaeton, I trust you know how to do that.” She smiled sweetly at them as the boys gaped at her. Clearly, they had not been expecting company.
“But Your Grace, the weather. These are treacherous driving conditions. And there isn’t even a driver to help you,” the youngest one said, twirling his hat.
“I don’t think it is a good idea,” the tallest one added but was cut off by a loud bang from the hayloft. The smell of lightly fermenting fruit drifted to them.
“It smells to me like the pair of you have been doing things you really ought not to be doing. Not when you are supposed to be working.” Lydia gave them both a look. “Now, it would be a real shame if the Duke learned of what was going on. He is nowhere near as forgiving as me.”
“But—” the younger one began before the older elbowed him in the ribs. “We’ll get it ready for you, Your Grace.
Like they had been doing it all their lives, they quickly had the carriage out and latched onto a horse within minutes.
“You know how to handle them, Your Grace?” the short lad asked, placing the reins in her hands. “Don’t pull too hard, don’t snap the reins without warning, and always have a firm grip. If Jezabell gets spooked by a rabbit or snake on the road, it’s your job to guide her along.”
“Yes,” Lydia said confidently, gently prodding the horse forward with a swish of the reins. “I have it well in hand. You needn’t worry.”
The carriage trundled along wonderfully, and Lydia was rather enjoying the feel of the icy wind on her face when she noticed that the boys had left an odd shaped bundle covered by a sheet in the back of the Phaeton.
“What the?” Lydia pulled gently on the reins, stopping Jezabell as she went to lift the sheet.
“Boo!” came an excited cry as Iris popped up.
Her excitement startled a scream out of Lydia which unfortunately also startled Jezabell, who reared wildly. Iris shrieked, and Lydia grabbed for the child, holding her close while the Phaeton jerked forwards, twisting wildly.
“Hold tight to me, Iris,” Lydia screamed as they were flung from the carriage and into a snowbank. All she could think was to protect the child, and then her head hit something hard, and the world went dark.
“Auntie? Auntie? Are you awake? Please wake up Auntie.” The sound of Iris’s voice roused Lydia.
“Iris? What happened?” Lydia’s tongue felt thick in her mouth.
“I’m sorry, Auntie. I thought it would be fun to surprise you and…” Iris sniffled, and Lydia made soothing noises.
“Perhaps best to avoid surprises in the carriages, Iris.” Lydia’s head swum as she opened her eyes, trying to acclimatize to the world around her.
Iris nodded. “You’re bleeding.”
“Am I?” Lydia winced as she touched her forehead and felt her fingers come away wet.
Lydia tried to get up, but she swayed uncertainly. Iris’ eyes widened, and Lydia forced herself to put on a brave face. “At least, we are not too far from the house.”
For a moment, Lydia debated whether she should try and retrieve the horse, but before she could come to any sort of a decision, she thought she saw figures on the horizon. Unfortunately, so did Iris.
“Look!” Iris shrieked excitedly. “I can fix this! I can get help!”
With Lydia’s sluggish reactions, Iris easily darted away from her, but to Lydia’s horror, she made a beeline towards the shapes on the horizon, not towards the safer path.
“No, Iris! Not that way. I have no idea how close we are to the riv—” The words died in Lydia’s mouth as a crack echoed around them.
The world seemed to slow down around her. Lydia hurtled herself towards Iris, watching as the girl’s eyes widened and cracks began to form around her. Iris had not gone far, but it was clear she was close to the middle of the river.
The cracks were widening, and Iris began to scramble back, arms outstretched towards Lydia. She thought she heard voices yelling. There was no time.
Lydia flung herself towards Iris and used the momentum of her body to carry the girl further across the river. They landed with a thud on the ice, only a few feet from the bank.
“Crawl, Iris, do not stand. Stay on your belly, but move quickly.”
“But—”
“Go!” Lydia shoved the girl hard, and the force sent Iris sprawling, but it also carried the girl to safety.
She let out a sigh of relief. The ice gave way below her. The cold water drove all the air from her lungs as she was pulled beneath the surface. She could hear screaming. It sounded like Iris and then a man’s voice… Archer?
She fought to get to the surface. The ice had broken up enough that she should be able to do it, but her skirts were heavy. And she was so cold. And it was so dark.
She felt death’s strong arms wrap themselves around her, and she stopped her fighting.