Page 38 of The Duke’s Replacement Bride (The Wild Brides #6)

L evi sat in his study, a glass of scotch in his hand. He swirled it slowly, watching the way the liquid moved, allowing it to hold his full attention as much as possible. It was ineffective. His mind returned, again and again, to Caroline.

It was dreadful being back in the house without her.

All he could think about was what it had been like when she was here, when this place had felt like a home.

He hadn’t realized until she was gone just how much he had enjoyed her company.

Even when they hadn’t been spending time together, there was something about having her in the house that had lit the place up from within.

Something that had made being here more comfortable than it had ever been in the past.

And he hadn’t noticed it. In so many ways, that was the worst part of all—the fact that he hadn’t noticed the benefits her company brought to the house until she was gone.

Why hadn’t he appreciated her when she was here?

Why had it taken her absence to make him realize the gift her presence had been?

Maybe Gregory was right—maybe I should go look for her….

She wouldn’t come back, though. He felt sure of that. And he would not humble himself like that—wouldn’t beg her, no matter what. She had made her decision, and they would both live with the consequences, and that would be that.

He heard the sounds of footsteps overhead.

Someone was striding around awfully heavily up there.

He frowned—what was going on? The servants knew better than to be so disruptive, especially at this hour, when he liked to sit in quiet contemplation, when he preferred not to be disturbed by loud noises.

All of his staff would know that. He shouldn’t have to tell them that they were out of line for acting like this, for causing a ruckus when he wanted peace.

He stepped out of his study. A footman was rushing by.

“Excuse me!” Levi called out commandingly. “What is going on up there? I can’t have all this noise when I’m trying to get work done.”

That was deceptive, of course—he hadn’t been working. But the point remained, and framing it this way would reinforce to his staff just how serious he was about the need for quiet.

The footman turned to face him. “Forgive me, Your Grace,” he said. “She told us we needed to be finished as quickly as possible, so everyone is in a bit of a hurry.”

“What are you talking about? Who told you that?”

“Well, the duchess,” the footman stammered. “She said that we had to get the packing done quickly, that she didn’t wish to remain for long.”

“The duchess is here?”

“Was she not expected? I thought…I assumed you knew that she was in the house…”

Levi pushed past his footman and hurried toward the stairs.

He raced up to the second floor and down the hall to the room that had belonged to Caroline while she had lived here.

His heart was racing. He didn’t know what he was doing—why he was in such a rush or what he meant to do when he made it to her side.

He only knew that he needed to get to her as quickly as he possibly could.

And there she was—standing in the middle of her room, wardrobe and trunk open, directing the packing of her remaining clothes. Everything that hadn’t been taken with her on the day she had left was now being packed away. She had come back for the rest of it.

“What are you doing?” he demanded.

She turned to face him. “Don’t act as if I’m out of line,” she said, her voice cool. “These things belong to me; I’m taking nothing of yours. Unless you want to keep my dresses, that is?”

“Don’t be so ridiculous. I’m not trying to stop you taking your things.

But what are you doing back here so quickly?

” Was it possible she had missed him—that she had returned in hopes of seeing him again?

But no, it couldn’t be that. If that had been the case, why would she have come straight to her room without stopping to do so much as speak to him?

He had the distinct sense that if she could have gotten away with it, she’d have been more than happy to come and go without speaking to him at all.

“I could have sent these things over to you,” he told her.

“Or we could have made an arrangement for you to come and collect what you needed. And for that matter, I do think it makes some sense for you to leave some of your things here. I know you’re choosing to live at your parents’ home for the time being, but surely you don’t imagine that you will never be in this house again.

What if you find yourself here and you have nothing to wear?

You should leave a few things for those occasions. ”

He was grasping at straws, and he knew it, but seeing her taking all her things away—it just felt so final .

If she packed that trunk and took it from the house today, he couldn’t help feeling that he would never see her again, that she would have no reason to ever come back.

He couldn’t bear that thought. She had to leave some of her things behind; she just had to.

She wasn’t looking at him. It was almost as if she couldn’t stand the thought of making eye contact with him. “I need my things, Levi.”

“You don’t need everything you own with you at all times.”

“I do. I do, because…because I’m going to be leaving the country,” she said quietly.

His stomach dropped. “What do you mean?”

“I mean I’m going to Spain,” she told him.

“I thought you had decided to live at your parents’ house for the time being.

” His heart raced madly. He had to find the right words to say—he couldn’t just let her leave the country.

He had been mad even to let her leave his home.

How could he have allowed things to fall apart like this between the two of them?

How had everything gone so wrong so fast?

“I decided that I didn’t want to remain cooped up in my parents’ house,” she said. “I have the opportunity to see the world now, and that’s what I want to do with my time. I’m going to go to Spain, and in order to do that, I need to have access to all my things.”

“But—when are you coming back?”

“I don’t know,” she said. “I may stay for quite a while. I don’t think there’s anything to draw me back here. I have no reason to return.”

“You can’t do this.”

“Of course I can, Levi.” She let out a sigh.

“Things are not what we hoped. You know that. You and I don’t have the relationship either of us wished for.

I don’t know how we ever lied to ourselves for as long as we did—how we ever believed this marriage could be anything worth holding onto.

It’s for the best that we’re living apart, because we’ll both be able to live the lives we truly want now.

And for me, that looks like traveling. Exploring.

Seeing the world. I’m going to move on with my life, Levi. I’m sorry if that inconveniences you.”

“Inconveniences me? Is that what you think it does?”

“Aren’t you worried about your reputation? What people will say when they find your wife has gone off on her own? I assumed that was why you wanted to stop me.”

“You thought I wanted to stop you because I was worried about harm to my reputation?”

“Well, can you blame me?” she fired back. “You do everything out of concern for your reputation. If there’s one thing I’ve come to learn about you in our time together, Levi, it’s that your reputation is your priority, and I won’t be surprised by that fact again.”

“That’s not why I don’t want you going to Spain.”

“Why, then?”

He threw up his hands. “Because I want you to stay here!” he told her. “I want you to remain in London!”

“Why would I do such a thing? Do you really expect me to spend the rest of my life sitting around and waiting for things to happen to me? My sister reminded me that I have the power to make things happen for myself. I don’t have to wait for life to come to me.

I have the ability to embrace it. And that’s what I intend to do. ”

She tried to push past him and move toward the wardrobe.

Without even thinking about what he was doing, he reached out and caught her by the shoulder, stopping her from moving any further in that direction.

Caroline glared up at him. “Take your hands off of me.”

“You owe me a conversation, Caroline.” He kept his voice as steady as he could. He didn’t want her to perceive how desperate he felt. “You can do that much for me.”

“We’ve talked more than enough,” she countered.

“No, we haven’t. In spite of all of this, you are my wife, and you cannot simply leave the country without talking to me about it.”

Her eyes widened. “Are you going to try to force me to stay? You can’t really want to do that to me, Levi. You can’t want to force my hand like that.”

“I’m not trying to force you. I’m—I’m asking you to stay.” He took a deep breath. “I’m begging you to stay.”

Her gaze searched his. “Why?” she whispered.

“Because I love you.”

It was as if all the tension left his body the moment he spoke the words.

He hadn’t realized he had been holding that in for so long. He hadn’t realized that he had been feeling it for so long. But the moment he let it go, he wondered how he could ever have doubted it.

Of course, he loved her. It was apparent in the way he couldn’t think about anything else, the way thoughts of her kept him up at night.

It was apparent in the way he felt himself grow warm every time she entered a room.

The thought of her going to Spain, of not knowing when—or if—he might see her again—was unbearable.

He couldn’t let it happen. He couldn’t lose her.

She stared at him. “You don’t love me,” she whispered.

“I do. I have for a long time. I didn’t realize it. I wish I had understood my feelings sooner. Maybe I wouldn’t have pushed you away. And if it’s too late for me, I’ll have to accept that. But I couldn’t keep the truth from you now that I know, Caroline.”

He stepped closer, eliminating the distance between the two of them, fearing that she would pull back.

She didn’t. She lingered, still staring into his eyes.

He brought his fingertips up to caress her cheek, marveling at the fact that she was here with him, that she hadn’t run away.

It seemed almost too good to be true. Even now, he knew, things were not fixed between the two of them.

Even now, there was every possibility she might leave.

And yet he wanted to believe that they could be together.

That she could forgive him and they could leave the past in the past.

“What happens the next time you want something and it gets in the way of us?” she murmured. “I can’t spend my life fighting for your attention, Levi.”

“You won’t have to. I know now that I never should have prioritized anything over you.

It was never about the ball. It was about taking care of my wife.

You told me what you needed, and I should have listened to you.

I promise you, for the rest of our lives, for as long as you stay with me, I will always listen to you when you tell me what you need.

But please, don’t leave me now. Give me another chance to love you the way you deserve to be loved, and I’ll make sure you don’t regret it. ”

He took her hands in his and pulled her close. Her body was warm and soft against his, and he was viscerally reminded of the night they had slept in one another’s arms. He felt sure, suddenly, that there would be many more such nights. If she would only stay with him, he would make certain of it.

He cupped her chin in one hand. Her eyes closed.

And as he bent to kiss her, he was filled with a sweeping sense of relief, so powerful that it was as if he was emerging from being underwater and finally taking a long-needed breath.

Thank God. Thank God, I haven’t lost her.