Page 19 of The Duke’s Hellion (Duke Dare #3)

I t wasn’t enough, but it had to be. He knew he couldn’t give her what she wanted, what she deserved.

She was a woman with a dreamer’s heart. She wanted love.

She wanted the fantasy. He couldn’t give it to her, and he planned to tell her that.

As a caution…a reminder…a way to set the expectation for their marriage.

But he needed a buffer. He couldn’t simply visit her before their wedding and disclose his lack of love for her.

And it had nothing to do with the inkling of a feeling that he wanted to go through with the wedding.

It was just a quiver. Again, not enough to make up for an empty ocean of feelings, but perhaps just enough to show that he cared. Because…well, he did care about her. He obviously couldn’t deny that he wanted to protect her. He just…well, he really could not allow himself to obsess over her.

Those were the reasons he stood in front of her door the night before the wedding and knocked quietly. He heard a soft shuffling and then the door creaked open slightly.

“Sam?”

“Let me in. I have something for you,” he whispered, squeezing his broad shoulders through the narrow slit she had left open.

“It’s after midnight,” she said sleepily, wiping her eyes.

He huffed. “I didn’t think it would take me as long as it did, but I had to do it.”

“The special license?” she asked.

“Yes, among other things I had to do.”

“Do what?” He watched as she stifled a yawn.

“Were you sleeping?” It was a stupid question, but one he couldn’t take back. She just yawned in response. “I’m sorry. This can wait.” What had possessed him to gift the present now? He could have waited until morning…but here he was, practically holding her up with his eyes she was so tired.

“I’m up now. What is it?” She plopped herself down in an armchair, palms up on her thighs.

“This is for you.” He handed over the package. “It’s a wedding present.”

“Oh, I didn’t get you anything—”

“No, you weren’t meant to. I just,”—he raked his hands through his hair—“know this is difficult for you.”

“For me?”

And he knew he needed to start their marriage, however flimsy it would be, with truth. “You want the dream, Mimi.”

Her cocked brow prodded him to continue.

“You want the fantasy. The love. All of it. But scandal has forced your hand.”

His words must have probed something inside of her, for she sat upright now. “I’m not being forced to do anything. If I didn’t want to do it, I wouldn’t.”

Of course she would put on a brave face. She was fearless. Mostly.

“I understand—”

“Actually, I don’t think you do. I have my reasons to marry you. And it’s not just because of the scandal.” Her arms were crossed over her chest now. Her signature gesture of stubbornness.

“What are your reasons?” And he shouldn’t do it, but he had to ask, “Do you…have feelings for me?” It was rude, selfish, and arrogant to ask the question. Especially when he knew (didn’t he?) his answer.

She studied him for a beat and then replied. “You’re a duke. You’re kind. You’re close with two of my sisters’ husbands, or soon-to-be. We shall all be quite close. It will be lovely.”

But the tone impressed upon the word lovely didn’t quite ring as prettily as it should have. It sounded like the way a woman said everything would be fine even though everything was chaos and fine was not on the horizon. But he wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt.

Her hands twitched against the wrapping of the gift in her lap. “Are you going to open it?” he asked. It was as good a time as any to change the conversation. It wasn’t fair to press her about her feelings.

Without even looking up, she murmured, “Yes, thank you.” And her hands were tearing away the paper.

She didn’t say a word as he observed her pulling out a navy-blue-and-gold quiver. Her hands ran down the sides and along the embellishments. Though her hands revealed reverence, her lips were pulled down at the corners.

“Do you like it?” He had to know.

“Yes,” she answered in a hush tone. “It’s perfect.” It was all she said as she stared at the quiver.

And he couldn’t help wondering if it was a good thing or not to enter their friends’ wedding day with perfection. In one way it was good. A clean slate (of sorts), a kind and considerate beginning. Then again, it could all be downhill from here on out. Her facial expression was impossible to read.

“We should sleep.” When he stood up and offered his hand, she gave him a look of surprise and shot a quick glance at her bed.

“Uh…I’ll be going to my room. You sleep here.”

Her eyes narrowed at him. “Of course that’s how it will be.” She jumped to her feet without taking his hand, clearly wide awake in irritation now.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said. And before either of them could change their mind, he leaned forward and pressed a light kiss to her temple. “Sleep well.”

*

Mimi stood next to Sally readying herself to go down the aisle. Her quiver from Sam slung over her shoulder, resting against her back. It felt right.

The ceremonies were going to happen together.

Joan had already been by to express her shock that Mimi was getting married before her, but she was only delighted for her sister.

They had all shared an embrace, and now Joan and Nobi were in the sanctuary waiting for her entrance.

A twinge of guilt infused itself in her conscience.

She should be happy, if not as overjoyed as Sally, then at least not as mopey as she felt.

Sam’s gift last night was more confusing than anything, but she didn’t want to burden anyone with her complaints.

She knew how shallow they would sound. Poor me, marrying a duke.

A handsome man with a good heart. Only, he hasn’t said he loves me.

It sounded awfully ridiculous to her own ears, so she hadn’t yet voiced her thoughts to anyone.

The music started. It was their cue to start walking down, first Sally and then Mimi. But Sally didn’t budge.

“What’s wrong?” Mimi immediately put her worries aside to consider her friend.

Sally turned to face her. “It’s not me. It’s you.”

“Oh God, I’m sorry Sally. I didn’t mean to take over your wedding. Sam and I can marry on a different day.”

Sally reached out her hand, placing it on Mimi’s wrist. “It’s not that. It’s just…you don’t look happy.”

The music was playing, the people were waiting. It was Sally’s day. She had been looking forward to it for a while now, yet here she was checking in on Mimi’s feelings.

“You’re a good friend, Sally.”

“So are you. I wouldn’t be with Jacob if it weren’t for you and your sisters.”

That was true, Mimi wasn’t even sure if she knew the extent of effort each sister had put forth to ensure Sally and Jacob’s union.

“I can’t walk down this aisle with you in this state.” Her grip tightened. “I want you to be as happy as I am. I wish I could make it so.” A shimmer caught Mimi’s eye.

“You have a wonderful heart, Sally. I just don’t know if I can share in that depth of emotion considering the reason I’m getting married.”

“What reason is that?” Either Sally was feigning ignorance to the obvious incident that caused this budding nuptial, or she had somehow forgotten.

“The scandal.”

“You think you’re marrying Sam because of the scandal?”

“Of course.”

Sally let Mimi’s words cloud the air as she hummed out her consideration of them.

When she said nothing, Mimi prodded her, “You don’t agree?”

“I don’t know, Mimi. I never really considered you the type to just marry a man because society might try to shun you if you didn’t.”

“Well…”

“Are you really trying to tell me that you have no other justification in marrying him other than the scandal?”

“Well…” she repeated the profound phrase.

“And are you trying to convince me or yourself that Sam, the self-proclaimed bachelor for eternity, offered to protect you only because of this scandal?”

“Um…”

Sally clucked her tongue. “Really, Mimi. You must open your eyes.”

“It’s just that…yes, I like him.” Oh, it was more than like at this point, but she didn’t want to admit that aloud. “But he doesn’t…love me.”

More silence ensued, threatening to break Mimi’s sanity, or at least her resolve to await Sally’s reply.

“I saw the way he looked at you when you walked down the aisle to him.”

Heat rushed her face. A ribbon of hope swirled through her stomach, catching up with her heart, and pulling it taut. She had felt something that day too but didn’t want to admit it.

“H-how did he look at me?”

“I shouldn’t be the one to tell you,” Sally said.

“Who should?”

“He’ll tell you. In time. In his own way.”

Ugh. Mimi groaned which made Sally chuckle.

“I know that’s not what you wanted to hear. But you need to trust him.”

“How do you trust someone you don’t know?”

Sally chuckled again. “It’s funny that you should think that.

You do know him. Trust yourself and trust him, Mimi.

” She turned to go but hesitated and turned back.

“I should like to add one more thing. I’m sorry your mother isn’t here,” she reached in for a quick embrace.

“She would be so proud of you. So I just want to say that my mother spoke with me last night—”

“Oh, please don’t tell me about the bedroom—”

Laughter peeled out of Sally. “I wouldn’t dare.

But my mother did give me some sage advice.

Marriage is the hardest thing you will ever choose to do in your life because it’s not just one choice.

It’s a million little choices every day.

And then you have to make the same choices again the next day and the next.

Every day you have to choose love. Not fear.

You have to choose to trust your husband.

Give him the benefit of the doubt. And, the hardest part of all, give all of yourself to him.

That’s assuming you want all of him in return.

And I think you do.” Her voice quieted at the last few words.

“You two are going to be very happy together. I can feel it. Just let yourself love him. Choose love.”

And even though Mimi didn’t say the words aloud to her friend, hearing Sally say them sunk into her soul. “Thank you, Sally.” She blinked hard to hold back the tears. “Now let’s walk down this aisle and get married.”

The ceremony was over in a blur with the only moments of clarity being when Sam said, I do , and then later when he had kissed her in front of everyone. His eyes were sincere, if nothing else. They were full of emotion that she couldn’t read, mostly because her own feelings were overwhelming.

By the time the reception started, Mimi felt as though the blurriness had cleared and she could finally process the smaller details that were right in front of her.

She was married. All right, that wasn’t a small detail.

Rather large in the grand scheme of life.

Sam, her husband, was sharing a drink with a group of friends, and Mimi was taking it all in and her sisters were soon at her side.

“I can’t believe you’re married,” Joan said, shaking her head. “First the eldest, then the youngest.”

“It wasn’t planned that way,” Mimi answered. “I’m still in shock myself. But…it’s all going to work out.”

“Of course it will. This is you, Mimi. This is your life. You will make the best of it,” Nobi’s arm was around her waist, holding her in a side embrace.

“You wouldn’t let a little thing like marriage change you.

” She nudged her. “Besides, this isn’t the worst possible outcome.

I’d rather say it’s much closer to the perfect possible outcome, wouldn’t you agree? ”

Mimi eyed her sister. “You think this is the best possible outcome?”

“Close to it. If you’re willing to admit it,” Nobi batted back.

But Mimi only shrugged.

“I overheard Sam say that you’ll be heading back to his estate tonight.”

That was news to her, but she supposed it made sense. Their first night as husband and wife should be together in his house.

“That means there’s only a few hours left here.” And there was a trace of melancholy in that statement.

“We had better make the most of it,” Joan added cheerily.

“We’ll all be together shortly for your wedding, Joan,” Nobi reminded them.

“True! And Boudicca will be back by then, so it will really be all of us.”

“In the meantime, let’s dance.”

The reception was taking place outside under large tents. Food and drinks abounded, and already a few guests were three or four sheets to the wind. The music was vibrant and enticing, so Mimi let herself be pulled into the effervescence of the event.

Mimi had danced with a few gentlemen and was taking a short break to have a drink when Sam finally broke free from the group he had been talking to and walked over to her.

“May I have this dance, wife?” he asked with a gleam in his eye.

“Of course,” she answered and curtsied.

Placing her hand in his, she felt the tingle she always felt with him and wondered if he sensed it too.

Realizing now that those sensations were unique to him, and she wouldn’t feel that with any man, she allowed her heart a moment of hope.

As they took their place in the dance, they could hear the light patter of rain against the tent.

There was a slight chill in the air, but nothing too cold.

The dance began and Mimi was pleased to know it was a waltz.

Their first dance together should be a waltz.

She was lost in the feel of his hands on her body and gracefully floating through the steps when a commotion in the middle of the tent put pause to their steps.

Someone was drunk. It looked innocent enough until the man said something he obviously shouldn’t have and then the first punch was thrown. Men were clamoring to pull apart the two rivals, but in all the chaos the mass of men was thrown into the center pole holding up the tent.

Down. Down. Down went the town.

Rain sluiced down the fabric soaking everything in its path. Still in Sam’s arms, Mimi was instantly soaked.

“God, I’m sorry, Mimi, let’s get you inside and dry.”

This was a disaster. Or…

“No,” she said, smiling up at him. “Let’s just dance.”