Page 31 of The Duke’s Cursed Virgin (Cursed Brides #3)

Chapter Thirty

T he journey home was short, but it felt longer, and the silence seemed heavier. Everything was crashing around Sophia as she contemplated what happened in the last twenty-four hours.

Anthony had been the mastermind behind her father’s death and her accident. If not for him, she would not have been ostracized, whispered about, and laughed at.

“You all know it was mine! I deserved the title! Jacob didn’t even want it!”

Her uncle’s words would linger in her mind forever. It was proof that blood could betray blood. It was the worst kind of betrayal. It made Sophia sit rigidly in the carriage, afraid to let everything flood her—memories and emotions, especially hate and resentment.

Theo played the coachman again. He had mumbled about how they needed a new one soon, but that he could handle tonight. He handled it well. Sophia admired how he was able to come through. However, at the moment, they were separated by the carriage—he on the outside and she on the inside, just like in real life.

When they arrived at their townhouse, Theo was quick to help her down. Sophia reveled in his steady and strong grip. There was more to him than just a man who could not decide what to do with his wife.

The warmth of the house’s interior reminded her of how cold she had been all day. Memories had left her afraid, lost in the terrifying past. When the carriage fell onto its side, she saw her father trying to shield her the way Theo shielded her today.

“Sophia. Save yourself,” her father had croaked weakly, his face pale.

“Papa! Papa!”

For some reason, she had reverted to her younger self, clinging to her last moments with her father. She could not afford to lose him again.

“We need to get off the carriage as soon as possible.”

Theo’s voice penetrated her hallucination, pulling her back to the painful present. She would have sunk into the mire and gotten shot by the assailants if her husband had not saved her.

Yes, he saved her. Physically, anyway.

“Are you feeling better?” Theo asked as he closed the door behind them—between the comfort and safety of their house and the unknowns of the outside world.

Again, he had pulled her out of her reverie. She had to face the reality that was presented to her and be strong for everyone who cared about her.

“I-I don’t know,” she stammered, unable to lie to him.

Not when he was looking at her like that. Like he was peeling back her layers, stripping away everything that covered her.

“Let’s sit in the drawing room. I’ll make you something to drink,” he offered, reaching for her hand.

Sophia told herself that he was only touching her because she looked like she could fall apart any minute. There was no other reason.

“You are now driving carriages and serving me drinks. What else can we expect from you, Your Grace?” she asked, reverting to formalities.

Theo looked back at her with a frown, but he continued toward the drawing room.

The house was quiet. The servants had retired for the night. Perhaps it was for the best that they were alone as they tried to recover from today’s events.

Sophia walked past Theo, who headed to the small drink cabinet across the room. She removed her gloves, which were dirty from their fall earlier. It was a wonder that things she’d thought of as important became background noise.

Theo was soon behind her. She could not see his face, but she could feel his warmth.

He was so close to her. Even without trying, her body seemed to respond to his, trembling as he stepped even closer. She wanted to scream at him, but she was tired, and he had helped close the most miserable chapter of her life.

“Sophia…”

She reluctantly turned to see his distressed, handsome face. His fingers ran through his hair, which seemed to be even longer than how she remembered it.

“I should be relieved,” she began. “Finally, my father has received some justice. It’s over. My uncle is gone. I can’t even imagine calling him the Marquess anymore. I can’t even call him by his name. He’s just?—”

“A murderer who has finally been caught,” Theo finished for her, handing her a glass of whiskey. “Here. To calm your nerves.”

She gratefully took the glass and sipped, humming softly.

“I don’t think I’ll ever have real peace,” she admitted. “My father is still gone. My mother was long dead before him. Dead or alive, free or imprisoned… No matter how he ends up, Anthony will never give me back my life.”

Theo nodded, his expression darkening. He finished the contents of his glass, and his eyes flicked to the whiskey bottle. He seemed tempted, but he remained with her.

“It doesn’t feel over,” she murmured.

“Sophia…”

The way he uttered her name had shifted, its tone and pitch now laced with a quiet, unspoken plea.

“We don’t have a reason to be together anymore,” she reminded him. “You married me because you needed to protect me from my uncle. Well, you’re done now.”

“Is that the only reason we married?” Theo asked, reaching for her arm.

Sophia shivered, traitorous heat pooling beneath her skin. She could deny him with words all she liked—but her body had already betrayed her.

“What else could it be? You took me as your lover because I was shunned by Society. Because I was not a widow—a novelty. We can now end whatever this is—a farce,” she told him in a surprisingly steady voice.

Her chin was up, too.

Bravo!

But she didn’t feel triumphant.

“You don’t mean that,” he said, pulling her closer with that one hand on her arm.

She held her breath, as she could almost feel his own on her forehead. So close. Again.

“Go back to Scotland, to Aunt Mary. Don’t worry about what people will say. We can say that I have gone mad after the incident. You can even divorce me for that reason,” she suggested, her voice rising in pitch.

His brown eyes bore into hers, searching for the truth she wasn’t ready to admit. Yes, her plan was logical—but logic had nothing to do with the way she ached for him.

“Do you really believe that I care about what other people say?”

“You don’t understand what I am going through,” she protested, shaking her head and squeezing her eyes shut.

“I do,” he said. This time, his voice was rough with emotion. “More than you know. It must be why I was drawn to you. We were two broken people trying to make sense of this life.”

Silence stretched. Sophia realized that Theo had completely removed any distance between them. It was so quick and subtle, like in a dream.

Like in a dream, she could not move. She felt like she was floating, prepared to let Theo do what he would with her. Her cheek rested against his chest, and she inhaled his comforting scent.

When she remembered where she was, she pulled back and wrapped her arms around herself instead.

“I suppose I should thank you for bringing him to justice,” she said a little bitterly. “You set a goal and achieved it. Thank you.”

“No, Sophia. I didn’t do it for justice,” Theo said, his mouth tightening into a thin line.

Finally, Sophia looked at the man she had married not too long ago. Really looked at him. There were no documents to sift through, no secret midnight dinners, no sensual books to hide the reality of who he was and what he felt.

There were no boundaries between them, and it was frightening.

Theo looked exhausted. Of course, he would be. His eyes were also wary as they scanned her face. She wished that she could read them, but he was the Wolf Duke. Mysterious. Dangerous. He had proven both of them right. He had always been a danger to her heart.

“I did it for you , Sophia,” he said.

“You did it for me?” she shook her head, “No, Your Grace. You did it for the thrill. For the satisfaction of triumph. You did it to keep the promise you made me.”

“Don’t do that,” he said, sounding pained; even his face was pinched with what seemed like agony.

“Don’t do what ? Must I remind you that while our vows were spoken, they were never meant?”

“Those vows mean everything to me,” Theo retorted.

“You spent our entire marriage pushing me away,” Sophia scoffed. “We didn’t marry for love, I know that. I am not a fool. However, you shut down even the possibility of friendship. You pulled me from one kind of loneliness only to abandon me in another.”

Theo stood up.

For a moment, Sophia was afraid that she had gone too far, and that he would leave her alone in the drawing room. For a moment, she could almost feel herself gasping for air. She remembered trying to understand that she had lost her father even as she saw his lifeless body.

It wasn’t quite the same, but it felt like it. Theo stood motionless for a moment before beginning to pace. When he finally turned back to her, there was a distance between them now—a space that felt both protective and safe, but also too vast, too separating.

He opened his mouth, then closed it again. He took a shuddering breath before he met her eyes again.

“I was afraid,” he admitted.

“Afraid?” She could not hide her disbelief.

Theo ran a hand over his face, scrubbing it hard as if to erase his features. The same hand fell to his side and clenched.

“Yes. I was afraid of how you make me feel. I was always in control, taking home widows who had no interest in marrying again. It was always about giving each other pleasure.”

It was Sophia’s turn to flinch. She knew about this all along, but it still stabbed at her heart whenever she was reminded of it. Her husband had several mistresses before her, women who had given him pleasure in bed. Most, if not all of them, were more experienced.

“I was afraid of how I wanted you,” Theo continued. “Needed you. I have not felt like that with anyone else. So, you became a danger to me. To my self-control.”

Sophia could not fathom it. She, dangerous to anyone other than herself? Dangerous to the Wolf Duke?

“Losing control? You were losing control?” Sophia asked.

Theo barked out a bitter laugh. It crushed her heart.

“I’ve spent my whole life ensuring that I don’t lose control, Sophia, because I cannot afford to let my emotions rule me. It is in my blood to be reckless and impulsive. I did not like talking about my father, because he was the epitome of recklessness. It ruined him. So, at a young age, I vowed not to be like him. I knew I should never let my emotions rise over my judgment.”

“Theo…”

His eyes darkened.

“One day, my father and mother were arguing. I saw them and came between them. They lashed out at me, too focused on their anger and the violence that simmered between them. My mother accidentally shoved me a bit too hard, and I fell down the steps, narrowly missing death. Two days later, my mother… I went to her chambers, to speak to her.”

He paused.

“She was holding a pistol. I ran, but she was quicker. My father became a broken man, and died a few years later. Then, you came along, and I lost all reason. I could not believe how you’ve made me make decisions I would never otherwise approve of. Taking a maiden as a lover. Marrying her because I could not imagine losing her.”

His voice broke, but his expression was determined.

He stepped closer.

“Did you really leave all proper reasoning to me?” Sophia asked. “Because I thought I was the one who made that error, over and over. Being involved with a man who could ruin me instead of save me was a risk. You saving me is the reward.”

“I have made a complete folly of everything,” Theo murmured, his voice becoming more intimate. “I am so sorry for hurting you, for being more afraid that you’d hurt me. I didn’t think you’d care for someone like me.”

“I gave you myself. My trust. My everything,” she reminded him.

“I know that now. Yet, at that time, I was merely focused on keeping you safe without you leaving me behind. The mere mention of Scotland from your lips sends a chill through me, one I cannot shake,” he confessed.

“And now?” she asked in a half-sob, tears pricking her eyes.

“I was a fool,” he confessed, his voice low and raw. “Life is too damn short for me to push you away any longer. It’s made me wretched.” He paused, his gaze never leaving hers, the weight of his words hanging in the air. “When that second shot almost took you from me this morning… something inside me broke. I realized I can’t let your uncle get away with this, not again. And you?—”

His eyes darkened with an ache that sent a shiver through her.

“I can’t lose you.”

A tear rolled down her cheek.

“I am no longer afraid. No, forget that. Yes, I am afraid, but I am willing to take any risk other than the one that will make you leave me for Scotland. I love you, Sophia.”

Sophia could not muster a word. She stared at him as if he were a dream.

“I understand if you cannot answer me right now. I’ve made you miserable, and I have no excuse for it.” His voice was steady but thick with regret. “Please, forgive me. If you cannot now, I will spend every day of my life proving that I am worthy of it.”

“Y-You can’t just tell me those words, Theo. You can’t expect me to?—”

Sophia’s tongue seemed to have gotten stuck at some point. Her heart was pounding so hard that she could feel it in her throat.

She wanted to believe his words. She wanted to believe that this was real.

“Shh,” he soothed. “I don’t expect anything, Sophia. I am prepared to work hard to earn your trust and your love. I will fight for you.” He took her hands, pressing them to his chest. “I only want to know if I have a chance to do so.”

Sophia could feel the sincerity in his words, but she had been hurt so many times when she let other people become part of her life. Her seclusion in Scotland was all about numbness, and it made her strong. The safest haven would be Aunt Mary. Or even better, the safest haven was herself. Secure. Isolated and lonely, but safe.

“You hurt me,” she declared, swallowing past the lump in her throat.

“I know. I will never forgive myself for making you feel like you are merely an object to be manipulated. I will never make the same mistake.”

Promises were made between them that she didn’t know whether she could just accept. Her head buzzed with the possibilities that could go either way for them.

Love was all about risk, though.

“I love you, too,” she whispered, looking up into his face.

She saw how his handsome face turned from uncertain to relieved. His eyes widened, and his mouth dropped open.

“Sophia…”

“Push me away again, Theo, and I will never wait for you to come back to your senses. I want to enjoy the rest of my life.”

“I understand,” Theo said with a laugh, “I want you to enjoy the rest of your life, too. With me, most preferably.”

“I… I want that too.”

“Yes?”

She nodded, “I want you to be in my life. Till the very end.”

She could see tears in his eyes, “It will be my pleasure.”

This time, Theo touched Sophia, his fingers tentatively moving up her arms at first. She sighed in relief, and that was his cue to kiss her.

Sophia trembled when his lips touched hers. There was no restraint here. There was only love and desperation after having kept their feelings buried for too long. She had dreamed of such a kiss for a long time, but she pulled away and looked at his face.

Seeing the effect of their kiss on him became a priority. She smiled at the swollen lips, the half-lidded eyes, and every detail that showed just how unguarded he’d become.

“We should probably take this to your bedchamber,” she whispered, a little shyly.

“My bedchamber? Our bedchamber,” he corrected with a smirk. “And I was hoping you’d make that suggestion.”