Page 39 of The Duke In My Bed (The Heirs’ Club of Scoundrels #1)

The quality of mercy is not strain’d; It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven Upon the place beneath. It is twice blest; It blesseth him that gives and him that takes.

Where was she?

Bray leaned against the back side of one of the massive columns in the ballroom of the Great Hall. It was the perfect place to watch the entrance and avoid the pushy mamas and nosy lords.

The night was growing long, and Bray was restless.

He had fulfilled his duty to the ladies along the wall of the dance floor more than two hours ago, and he’d danced with at least half a dozen young ladies throughout the evening.

It was almost midnight, and Miss Prim and her sister still hadn’t arrived at the ball.

Bray knew there were several smaller parties happening around Mayfair tonight, but the Great Hall was always the most well attended.

He’d assumed that Mrs. Colthrust would have the good sense to let the sisters make an appearance before they quit the night.

Now he was beginning to doubt that faith.

He should have known he couldn’t trust their chaperone to do what was best for Louisa and Miss Gwen.

No doubt, Mr. Standish had the same thoughts as Bray.

The man was already at the Great Hall when Bray arrived, and he hadn’t left either.

And, like Bray, the man had done his share of dancing and conversing.

Bray was fairly certain Mr. Standish had no genuine interest in Miss Gwen.

The blade was just looking for another young lady to enjoy for a time and then discard as he had all the others.

But Bray couldn’t be too hard on the man. He had done the same thing at Standish’s age.

He whispered a curse to himself as his thoughts once again crept back to when he and Louisa were near Rotten Row.

She became quiet after they’d discussed the night her brother died.

He knew she needed time to ponder what he’d said so he didn’t press her to talk as they’d made their way back to the carriage.

Once they picked up her sisters, the girls kept the chatter going about the puppet show all the way back to their house.

And the reason for the hasty ride in the park seemed to end up all right, too.

He never saw Mr. Standish make an improper move toward Miss Gwen the entire time they had watched them.

That surprised him. Maybe the man wasn’t like him after all.

Bray wondered how Louisa was doing. What was she feeling?

He didn’t want her to hate him for what had happened to Prim but it was probably inevitable that she would.

Bray had had great respect for her brother.

The hell of it was Prim was the only man who had ever made Bray do something he didn’t want to do. Bray had promised to marry Louisa.

When he saw tears collecting in her eyes, he’d felt like the worst kind of blackguard and desperately wanted to hold her.

He’d wanted to kiss her brow and run his hands up and down her back, soothing her, but he knew that at that moment, he was the last person she wanted touching her, comforting her.

He might have done it anyway, had they not been in the park at the time, surrounded by dozens of people.

As for himself, he didn’t care a blast in hell what anyone thought, but if he had held Louisa and someone had seen them, it would have caused her even more heartache and sparked unwelcome gossip.

She was already dealing with too much. Why did he care so much about how she felt? How had she touched him so deeply, he couldn’t rip her out of his thoughts?

He’d had sorrow and regrets about the night of Prim’s death, too, but he was sure she didn’t want to hear that from him.

Hellfire, he’d hated telling her anything about that night.

There was no good explanation for the foolish antics of two drunken bucks.

He would never tell her that her brother had died in excruciating pain, begging him to marry her.

In truth, Bray had known she’d get around to asking him about the events of the accident one day, but why did it have to be after such a pleasant afternoon of easy conversation and sweet kisses?

She said he’d told her enough, and he hoped that was true.

He’d meant it when he said he could never tell her more.

Why should she have to learn about the gaping wound, the pleas for help that wasn’t available, and the demented cries of pain that Bray remembered so well?

She shouldn’t have to live with that. He could never tell her how frightened her brother had been when he saw his injury, or just how long it took Bray to make that promise in the end, when Wayebury knew there was no hope he’d live.

Bray didn’t want her to know that the other gentlemen standing around that night had coerced him into promising to marry her.

None of that mattered now.

“My dear, my dear, my dear, please don’t tell me you are holding up that column so the building won’t fall down and kill us all.”

Bray straightened. “Good evening, Your Grace,” he said to his mother. “You are looking young and lovely tonight.”

She opened her fan and gave him a doubtful look. “And you are looking as if you are brooding. I don’t think you looked so intense even when your father died. Should I venture a guess as to why you are wearing that deeply troubled expression?”

“Am I?”

“Yes.”

“Then it’s up to you whether or not you tell me.”

“Very well. I believe it was easy for you to ignore Miss Prim and your debt to her brother before you met her and got to know her. Now that you have, you find that she is constantly on your mind, and you are trying to figure out why that is the case.”

Bray snorted a laugh at his mother’s intuitive suggestion. “It’s true Miss Prim is on my mind right now, but I don’t know that I would agree to the word ‘constantly.’”

“That’s because you don’t want me to know all you are thinking.”

“May you never know all that I think about, Your Grace.”

She laughed herself and said, “Yes, please. I don’t want to know. When I met her, I found Miss Prim to be pretty, clever, and strong-minded.”

“And you conclude this after only five minutes in her presence?”

The duchess lifted her brows. “It was more than five minutes, and over two different meetings with her. Her sister is lovely, by the way, too. And besides, you know it doesn’t take me long to make up my mind about a person, Your Grace.

They either catch my attention early or not at all.

I seldom give anyone a second chance to impress me. ”

“I’m well aware of that.”

“I think she will do nicely to have your child.”

Bray couldn’t help but notice that his mother said “child.” Not “children” and not “son” or “daughter.” There was no warmth or love in her voice, just the word “child.” His mother expected him to have the same pretense of a marriage that she and his father had had. Bray recoiled from that thought.

“I think you should go ahead and make plans to marry her before someone else catches her fancy and steals her from underneath your nose.”

“Do you?”

“Immediately.”

It would make the Prince happy and likewise all the other gentlemen with winning bets placed on a marriage with Louisa before the end of the Season, but there was one small obstacle that none of them knew about.

Louisa had to ask him to marry her, and he didn’t see that happening.

Though she’d never said the words, he knew she blamed him for her brother’s death.

Bray didn’t know if she could ever bring herself to get over that, or the fact that the Duke of Drakestone was a known rake.

“Why did you never live with the duke after I was born?”

Her eyes widened a little at his question.

His mother was almost as good as he was at hiding her feelings.

“Why should I? We couldn’t stand the sight of each other.

Our parents arranged the marriage and we agreed.

He had everything I wanted—a title, power, and wealth.

I had what he wanted—heritage, beauty, and intelligence. It was a perfect match.”

But never a family.

“Did you ever have love?”

“Between your father and me? Don’t be ridiculous. Certainly not. We never wanted it or expected it.” She paused. “Is that what has you waiting to marry Miss Prim? Are you waiting to see if you will fall in love with her?”

Was he? Wasn’t he already half in love with her anyway? He didn’t know, because love wasn’t something he’d ever let himself feel.

Over his mother’s shoulder, he saw Mrs. Colthrust coming through the door with Miss Gwen right behind her.

His heart started beating a little faster at the thought of seeing Louisa.

He watched the two ladies take off their wraps and hand them to an attendant.

He studied the entrance. Where was Louisa?

His mother kept talking, and he mumbled some kind of answer, but his attention was still on the door. Mrs. Colthrust and Miss Gwen walked down into the ballroom. He kept staring at the entrance. Louisa wasn’t with them. He had to find out why.

“Are you?” his mother asked.

“Am I what?”

“Waiting to fall in love with Miss Prim before you ask for her hand?”

“Surely you don’t think there is such a thing as love, do you?”

The duchess laughed. “If there is, I never found it.”

“Did you ever look for it?” he asked.

Her eyes narrowed for the briefest time. She seemed to shake off whatever his question had made her feel or remember and said, “If I ever did, it was so long ago that I have no memory of it, and that is probably just as well.”

Bray thought of the Prince and his damned wager. “It would be nice if Miss Prim and I were left alone to make up our own minds about what we want to do about marrying.”

“You can’t, Your Grace,” his mother said in a tone that left him no room for argument. “You lost that right when you accepted her brother’s dying plea.”

“Yes, the vow. How could I forget?”

“Keeping your word is not supposed to be easy. Integrity would have no value if there were no effort associated with it. Now, I’m headed home. Enjoy the rest of your evening, Your Grace.”

Bray watched his mother walk away. There was never a greeting kiss on the cheek or a parting hug between them, because sadly, there was no love. Mutual respect was the strongest emotion they shared.

Watching his mother’s regal, retreating back, Bray realized he’d never seen his mother cry.

There must have been times in her life when she’d wept, but Bray knew nothing about them.

He’d known Miss Prim for only a few weeks, and already he’d seen her eyes filled with tears twice.

When she thought he’d deliberately kept Saint from them and today, when she looked at the area where her brother had died.

Both times, he’d been angry with himself for being the cause of her tears.

Without further thought, Bray knew what he had to do.

He placed his glass on a nearby table and went to find Mrs. Colthrust. He was stopped three different times by people to make conversation, but he managed to keep the exchanges short, and by the time he reached the chaperone, she was talking to Harrison, and Miss Gwen was talking with a young Italian count who seemed pleased that she could converse in his language.

After appropriate greetings, Bray said, “You and Miss Gwen are looking lovely this evening, Mrs. Colthrust.”

The woman gave him a dazzling smile and fanned herself. “Thank you, Your Grace. We’re so glad you noticed.”

“I couldn’t help but see that Miss Prim isn’t with you?”

“Oh, I know, and it is your fault, Your Grace.”

“Mine?” he said, feeling a stab of alarm in his chest.

“Yes, she told me that you arrived shortly after Gwen left and insisted on taking her and the girls to the park for an afternoon outing to see a puppet show. Apparently you were not careful, and she spent too much time in the sun. Said she had a headache and felt quite dizzy and wasn’t up to a night of dancing. ”

Relief washed over Bray. For a moment, he’d thought Mrs. Colthrust was going to tell him that Louisa was upset over visiting the place where her brother had died.

“I’m sorry to hear that. Please give her my apology and my regards when you return home.”

“Shall do, Your Grace.”

Bray looked at Harrison and said, “If you’ve had enough dancing for one evening, why don’t we head over to White’s for a game of cards?”

“I’m all for that.”

Bray and Harrison said their good-byes to Mrs. Colthrust, Miss Gwen, and the count and headed for the entrance. While they waited for the attendant to get their cloaks, Bray said, “I’m afraid I used you as a decoy, Harrison.”

Harrison frowned. “I suppose I’m not opposed to that, but how so?”

“I am not going to White’s with you tonight, but I do need you to leave the party with me and go to the club or somewhere after we part.”

“Because?”

“I didn’t want to make Mrs. Colthrust suspicious by leaving alone immediately after finding out that Miss Prim is not here.”

“Ah.” Harrison nodded. “And Miss Prim is home alone, I gather.”

“With sisters and servants, I suppose she is never alone, and before you ask, yes, that is where I’m headed. I hope you don’t mind.”

Bray had no way of knowing if Miss Prim herself or one of the servants would come to the door, but at this point, he didn’t care. He hoped he was right in thinking that Louisa wouldn’t go to bed until she knew Gwen was home from the parties.

He wanted to see Louisa and make sure she was all right.

“Well, I do feel used,” Harrison said with a teasing smirk. “And take my word for it, it’s not so easy to jump from a bedroom window now as it was when we were younger.”

“I appreciate the concern, but I don’t plan to be jumping from any windows.”

But he wasn’t sure Louisa didn’t feel like pushing him out of one.