Page 3 of The Dragon’s Stone Hearted Mate (Mori’s Mementos #1)

Morvan

A Therapist’s Office, Moonscale London

“Was that Teal texting you again?” Chole asked, nodding at my phone vibrating across the grey loveseat, tucked away in the corner of her office.

This was only my third appointment with her as my therapist, but she knew that almost every text I received these days was from Teal.

Everyone else had given up on me reaching out but I couldn’t shake off my ex-best friend.

Though, his texts were coming in less often as if he finally took my words seriously.

A few months ago, I’d told him to stay out of my life.

His grandfather ordered the execution of my brother.

No, not even execution. His grandfather – Clarence Fucking Moonscale – ordered the assassination of my brother on a public street in broad fucking day light.

My dragon snorted inside his inner sanctum, and I let out a long, slow breath.

My inner beast had turned the scenario over and over again.

Torvan had tried to blow up Teal and his mate at Moonglow Cabin and lied about it being an accident.

He had hired a hitman to kill me so that he could have our family’s restaurants all to himself.

Hell, I’d have given him the damn things if that’s all he wanted.

What the hell was wrong with all these jackasses wanting to kill each other?

Months after his death I found out that Clarence Moonscale killed the hitman who took the job himself.

“It’s not like we have room to talk,” my dragon chimed into my thoughts before I had the chance to answer Chole’s question. “We kill people too. We’re the reason Patrica – aka the crazy lynx who killed Torvan – knew how to kill that well in the first place.”

“Yeah,” I nodded finally answering Chole’s question, grateful for the moments of time it bought me before we talked about Torvan again.

“He doesn’t understand boundaries. He’s codependent with his brothers.

Has been the whole time I’ve known him. I don’t think he gets that somethings end. Well, everything ends.”

“Do you want to talk about that?” Chole asked.

The shebear was nearly as tall as me but wore a bright pink floral shirt and a black pencil skirt that fell just below her knees when she sat down.

She had dark hair and honey-colored eyes that didn’t leave me from the time I walked in until I left our session.

Chole even scribbled notes on her clipboard without looking away from me.

Sometimes I wondered if she only pretended to take notes during our sessions.

“About how codependent Teal is?” I asked.

“About everything ending,” she said, her expression serious.

“I think you know that, doctor. It’s probably why you went into your line of work.

You know that it doesn’t matter what you do, we all die.

We didn’t have a choice about being born and we’re going to die without a choice about it either.

We’re going to leave each other and don’t give me that shit about the afterlife.

Because everyone knows we change over and over again.

It’s so fucked up. I just didn’t realize how fucked up until Teal killed Torvan. ”

“Did he kill your brother?” she asked.

“He might as well have. Saving me killed him. He died alone on that street—”

“Alone?” Chole asked. “Morvan, I follow the news as much as anyone does in Moonscale London. Torvan wasn’t alone. You and Teal were there with him. You held onto him. He wasn’t alone. I won’t debate his cause of death but –”

“We all die alone,” I stopped her before she assumed I had memory issues or was rewriting what happened to fit how much I loathed my ex-best friend.

“How so?” she asked, following my lead.

Chole always asked too many questions. I came to her looking for answers but talking to her was like talking to a preschooler hyped up on pixie sticks asking ‘why’ over and over again. I massaged the heel of my hand into my forehead.

“Because I couldn’t go with him. It’s not like I could up and decide to go with him.

Even if I offed myself – I wouldn’t be with him.

We leave our bodies alone and ---” I stopped because I didn’t know what happened after that.

“I know reincarnation is real. It’s like science by now.

True-mates prove reincarnation is real. I’ve been in the Other World but just because we know how something works doesn’t mean it’s fair.

We know how cancer works but it’s not fair either. ”

“Morvan, I’m not arguing with you. I’m trying to understand how you view your brother’s death and how that has changed your understanding of the world,” Chole said and scribbled something blindly on her clipboard.

“I didn’t ask to be born. Neither did Torvan. Look, I’m not going to kill myself. As much as I hate my friends, I don’t want to put them through that. Suicide contagion is real and—” I let out a long sigh.

“Morvan, you’re a good guy. You spend a lot of time thinking about how others might feel as a result of your actions. Not everyone does that. Deep thinking like that is a sign of empathy. I often find most of my clients are the sensitive sorts that—”

“How far does doctor-patient confidentiality go?” I asked her.

“Morvan, it’s the be all, end all here. Unless you’re going to kill yourself or off a kid or something.

Look, I need to be honest. Last year a little girl named Berry was kidnapped by some guys who wanted money.

Money that they believed her family to have.

You had no contact with her mother, only her father.

The Warehouse killed seven people to get my baby back.

I know who you are. That’s part of the reason I agreed to take you on as a client despite my full caseload. As far as I’m concerned, we’re family.”

I remembered Berry. She was a strawberry headed little bear cub who managed to take a finger from her kidnapper before we got there.

We hadn’t told the parents, but the guys wouldn’t have given her back either way.

Money or not, they’d never see that kid again.

She was a fighter, though, and gave them a hard time, making enough noise for us to find her.

“I don’t want Teal hurt,” I told her just to ensure she didn’t fangirl out in the wrong way. “Or Patrica.”

“I’m aware of that and I’m not prepared to take sides. I’m still a therapist. It’s the least I can do since I get to tuck my little girl into bed every night because of you and your then friends.”

“I’m not the golden retriever everyone accuses me of being,” I said. “Golden retrievers don’t kill assholes and feel little about it.”

“Do you feel little about it?” Chole asked.

“I feel relieved. Sometimes victorious if they’re hard to kill,” I shrugged.

“Why?”

There she went ‘toddler’ questioning me again.

“Because it stops them from fucking up the lives of other people. Tell me, is Berry still in therapy?” I asked her.

“Yeah. She is.”

“Are you trying to understand me because it bothers you that you couldn’t do what we did? Because it’s not about courage. It’s about resources and networking.”

“I know,” she nodded. “It’s why we contacted you when one of the guards recommended it.

I’m not here because I need to dissect your head to understand anything.

I understand the drive to protect the young and the innocent.

I grew up in a family where that meant using the societal sanctioned routes.

So, I became a therapist and a social worker.

Most shifters have that drive. We’re born with it.

What I’m here to do is to help you process your grief, Morvan.

Though, today’s conversation makes me consider if you’re having an existential crisis in addition to grieving your brother.

It’s not uncommon for the two to occur together. ”

“Don’t you get it? None of it matters. It doesn’t matter what any of us do. It all ends the same way.”

“I hate to break it to you, but that’s what an existential crisis is. I may be overstepping but I think it matters a lot. The end may be inevitable. We all see that door sooner or later, yes, but what about all those moments in between?”

“The moments where you know you’ll have to die, and everything is for nothing? That nothing you hold onto is actually yours,” I laughed.

“Are the memories of your brother worthless?” Chole asked and I laughed again.

“Probably, doc,” I nodded. “He hired a hitman to kill me over a family business.”

“Morvan, have you considered that you wanted to die saving him to prove that you’re a good person?” Chole asked.

“I’m not a good person. I never tried to be. I don’t care if what I think is right or wrong is good or bad. It’s what I know the world to be. Is it good to kill people to save those who can’t save themselves? Is it bad to want to die instead of my brother?”

“Those are questions only you can answer, Morvan,” Chole flashed me a sad smile. “Just remember you were quick to ensure me it was society and our quasi-capitalism that caused me to lack the resources for rescuing Berry. You cared how I felt.”

“You’re not an asshole,” I shrugged. “Though, what the fuck do I know? I didn’t want to believe Torvan was an asshole.”

“We all have our blind spots. How do you feel about a getaway?”

“I’m flattered, really. I’m not even going to ask if you and your mate are poly or if such a thing would be extramarital, but I’m gay. You’re beautiful and---”

“Not like that,” she narrowed her eyes on me. “Not like that at all.”

“Sorry,” I said, rubbing the back of my neck.

“Eh… Sometimes people try to pay us in sexual favors, and I’ve figured out how to nicely turn them down.

I like fucking around as much as the next dragon, but no one should be paying for life saving services with sex they’re not into.

Getting back on track,” I said as my dragon rolled onto his back laughing at me from inside his inner sanctum.

“I don’t think a holiday will resolve this issue.

If it were that simple, I’d have packed up and gone away on my own.

It’s not like anything is keeping me here anymore. ”

“I didn’t mean a holiday exactly. There’s an Other World retreat for those in your situation starting this weekend.

It takes place at this beautiful little camp with cabins and everything.

It’s peer run, meaning everyone who works there has lost someone very close to them and it’s interplanetary so who knows?

Maybe you’ll meet someone interesting while you’re there. And yes, it’s dragon friendly.”

“How much?” I asked, trying not to roll my eyes.

“It’s free with a referral from a therapist who works with the camp,” Chole said.

“And that would be you?” I arched a brow.

“Hmmm… I wonder what sort of time-share scheme this is?” my dragon chimed into my thoughts.

“I grew up during the war,” she shrugged. “I lost people. Lots of them. Survivor’s guilt is a bitch, Morvan, and she never shuts her fucking trap.”

“I can’t even say he’d be happy I survived,” I let out a bitter laugh.

“Well, Morvan, with all due respect, fuck him and the silver spoon he was born with,” Chole said, her expression turning grim. “I think in the end he choked on it. So, what do you say? Do you want me to sign you up for camp?”

“Don’t say it like that,” I huffed and waved away the ring of smoke that escaped from my nose. “Seriously. I’m not some twelve-year-old you’re sending off for the summer.”

“Take it or leave it. Today is the last day. Otherwise, you’ll be waiting for months, and I think it’ll really help you.”

“Do you get a kickback from referring people?” I asked her.

“Nope. It’s all volunteer run. No one’s making any money on it. Like I said, it’s interplanetary and most places don’t have a cash conversion system in place, anyway.”

“I hate the idea but fine. I’ll do whatever it takes to make this feeling of Frost-foresaken doom shut the fuck up.”

“Sometimes you just have to find the good vibes that shout louder than the doom, friend, because the cycle of life and death aren’t going anywhere,” Chole chuckled and finally looked down at her clipboard. A second later she handed me a sheet of paper with all the stuff I needed to go to camp.