Page 10

Chapter Ten

A ntony probably shouldn’t have said that. And the longer Iris sat in stunned silence, the more he cursed his mouth and his inability to keep quiet around the dragonwoman.

And yet, there was something about her, something that made him want to confide, that he couldn’t resist. Maybe it was because he’d been doing this job for too long and was losing his edge. Or maybe, just maybe, it wasn’t something he could control.

Maybe he was her true mate.

Since female dragon-shifters couldn’t tell who their true mate was like the male ones could, and a kiss could set off a mate-claim frenzy, Antony should try harder to avoid getting close to her. Because if he was hers and he kissed her on the lips, he would either have to run away or agree to the frenzy and sleep with Iris until she was pregnant.

While deep down he wished to have a child someday, now was not the time. Not to mention he didn’t even know what Iris wanted for her future.

Besides, even if she wanted him, Antony had a lot of enemies. Ones that maybe didn’t know his identity yet but might one day. And then they’d go after anyone he cared about.

And he refused to risk another woman getting killed because of him.

As he tried to think of a way to brush off the comment, Iris asked, “What happened?”

He glanced at her, and at the curiosity in her eyes, he didn’t think he could deny her. “It’s not a pretty tale, my dear. Do you really want to hear it? Because at the end you might despise me and then I’ll have to send you home. I can’t work with someone who won’t have my back.”

“I’d rather know than not. That way, I can be better prepared for what might happen, aye?”

As he turned off the single-track road onto a regular one, he contemplated how much he should tell her.

However, the more he thought about it, the more he realized that if he didn’t tell her everything, Iris would know and then never trust him.

Better to get it out and see if she wants to run or not, right, old chap?

“Right, well, I need to back up a little bit, to before the mission started. Much like you, I served time with the British Army. Nearly eight years, in fact, before they recruited me for the department I’m in now. However, I was still young then, just twenty-four, and rather full of myself for being recruited at all. Most of the time, I hid it well, and I was known to be jovial and yet a closed book at the same time.”

“Much like now, then.”

“Yes. As much as I’ve tried, my sense of humor is around for good. But back to when I entered the Wicked Security team—the full title is Human-Dragon Wicked Security Department—and my first real mission. The training lasted months, and over twenty years ago, it was very much men trying to be macho and outdo each other. I’ve tried to change some of that over the years—machismo gets people killed—but I wasn’t yet enlightened.

“The training wasn’t a huge deal, but the others saw me as somewhat ‘burdened’ because I was one of the few with a fiancée. Normally, Wicked Security team members are single and unattached. However, my ability to strategize and memorize large amounts of information quickly was too valuable to pass up. And when approached, I said I would only join if I could stay with Lisa. She would think I worked a regular desk job with the government, but I wouldn’t have to give her up. Not perfect, but I loved her and couldn’t imagine life without her.”

In retrospect, he’d been selfish, trying to have his cake and eat it too. There was a reason most members of Wicked Security didn’t have partners—because they were weaknesses who could be targeted. The few who did have families either retired to desk work and analysis, or married other team members who could protect themselves.

Not for the first time, Antony wished he’d chosen Lisa over the job. Even if they’d eventually broken up, she wouldn’t have died because of his choices. Ones made without her knowing just how risky his life would become.

Iris’s voice brought him back to the present. “What happened, Antony? Because if guilt still flashes across your face, it makes me wonder how badly you fucked up, aye?”

The corner of his mouth kicked up. “Succinctly put, my dear. I fucked up. Massively.”

“And if you think I’m going to let you stop there, you’re mad.”

He glanced at her. “Demanding, aren’t you?”

She raised an eyebrow. “You have no idea.”

He laughed, despite everything. “Well, then let me continue, lest I stir up your temper.” She opened her mouth to protest, but Antony knew he needed to get this all out as quickly as possible. So he spoke before her. “After taking the job and finishing my training, things went well for a while. With my better salary, Lisa and I had started to make plans. And once they transferred me to Greater Manchester from London, we even started looking at homes. We’d barely moved into our new place before everything went horribly wrong.”

Even now, he remembered Lisa scouring the charity shops to decorate their small two-bedroom attached row house. Her biggest prize had been an old pitcher she’d turned into a vase.

One that had ended up smashed on the floor.

Mentally shaking himself, Antony focused on the road and, keeping his voice steady as he said, “My first assignment involved the early version of today’s dragon hunters. They were a bit less organized back then, and they worked more like gangs with specific territory than the organized entity they are now. I would use my mimicry skill to pretend I was Mancunian born and raised, watch them from the shadows, and eventually try to get recruited.”

Iris asked, “So you worked undercover with the dragon hunters?”

“Barely. You’re getting ahead of me, my dear. Patience.” The dragonwoman rolled her eyes, and he smiled. “Back to my story, unless you’re bored?”

“No. No way. Continue.”

“Right, well, I eventually ended up passing the dragon hunter recruitment test given to me. And before you ask, I had to do something I’m not proud of—beat up a dragonman until he was unconscious and draw a vial of blood. With new technology, they were trying to see if they could use dragon’s blood if the shifter was in their human form. While the answer was no, it was the only way to get them to trust me.” He glanced at Iris. “Later, I ensured that dragonman got whatever favors he needed, without ever knowing it was me. You might know him—Bronx Wells.”

She nodded. “Aye, I’ve met him. His brother, Hudson, mated Lachlan MacKintosh’s sister, Sarah. But Bronx still doesn’t know it was you that beat him up?”

He shook his head. “No. And it’s best he never does. Even though I haven’t apologized to him, I’ve made it up to him several times over, even if he doesn’t know it. I still watch over him and Percy, just in case they need my help again.”

Percy Smith, now Wells, was a former prisoner that had been assaulted and isolated, raised without knowing how to be a dragon-shifter. She’d eventually mated Bronx Wells and now had a child.

But Antony hurting a random dragon-shifter wasn’t even the worst part of his tale. He steeled himself for Iris to rail at him.

However, Iris didn’t shout or scold but instead crossed her arms over her chest and replied, “Aye, well, I won’t tell him. I understand having to do things you don’t like for the greater good. But getting back to your story—you passed their test and became a dragon hunter. How does this tie into your fiancée being killed?”

He gripped the steering wheel tighter. “I’m getting to that. I had to meet with my contact from Wicked Security every week. He wanted to retire and was training his replacement, who was a dragon-shifter I’d always disliked. The replacement bragged about everything, and being young, I kept trying to prove I was better than him.

“So later, when his mentor had to take a call and we were alone, he taunted me about not getting any information yet. And because it was taking so long, my fiancée had to be lonely and maybe he should try to steal her away from me since dragon-shifters took better care of their women. And even though his mentor returned, and the dragonman remained silent for the rest of the meeting, his challenge lingered. So I started taking risks and ignoring precautions—I wanted to find out where they drained the dragons of their blood. And just when I thought I’d figured it all out, I was caught.”

Taking a second, Antony kept the memories locked away. He’d been tortured a few times in his life, and yet, he still had nightmares whenever he tried to sort through the memories.

And with everything going on, he couldn’t afford to have any.

Iris asked, “They hurt you, didn’t they?”

His gaze shot to hers. “Yes.”

She nodded. “I was captured by a group of young dragon hunters briefly, once. I escaped, but not before they drugged me with something to keep me from shifting and then proceeded to beat the crap out of me.”

Anger shot through him. “Who?”

“Over the years, I’ve captured most of them and turned them over to the DDA. One of them, though, works closely with Simon Bourne now. So if you want to help me take care of him, we need to take down the dragon hunters entirely.”

“Give me his name now.”

She raised an eyebrow. “You sound like a growly dragonman, aye?”

“The dragon hunters have hurt too many people over the years. They deserve to be taken down, and some of them need to be punished.”

“Is that something else your little group does, then? You fly under the radar and don’t obey the law?”

“We do. Mostly. There are some gray areas, but even those have limits.”

She studied him a second before saying, “You want me to ask about the limits and forget about your first mission. But that won’t work, aye?”

“Caught that, did you, my dear? Well done. It usually works with the other members of my team.”

“Antony, stop stalling and tell me the rest. You said you would.”

“I did, didn’t I?” He sighed. “Well, back to me being tortured. I survived without saying a word. However, I mentioned Lisa’s name in my sleep one night and it was enough. They dumped me outside our place, and I went inside. Where I found her…”

Seeing her lifeless body on the ground, naked, with her throat slit, was something he’d never forget.

Iris laid a hand on his arm, bringing him back to the present. “It’s okay. You don’t have to go into the details.”

He shook his head. “No, I should. Just so you fully understand what you’re getting into with me.”

“Then tell me.”

After taking a deep breath, Antony kept his eyes on the road and said, “They’d raped her and then slit her throat. After that, they wrote a message on the wall in her blood: She’s dead because of you. You’re next. ”

Dead because of you. For months, the words had haunted him. Only through the strict training and routine of Wicked Security had he pulled out of the dark, dark place he’d been in.

An image of Lisa, smiling at him and kissing him hello when he returned from work, flashed into his mind. Such a sweet soul had been snuffed out too early. A bright future, full of love, extinguished because he’d been a selfish bastard.

His old guilt crashed down over him, and Antony struggled to pull over to the side of the road. Once the engine was off, he leaned his head against the headrest, closed his eyes, and did his best to pull himself together. He was close, so close, to the beginning of the end of the dragon hunters. And he bloody well wouldn’t let them win, all these years later.

Defeating them was the only way to avenge his first love.

And yet, it was harder than usual for him to push aside the memories. He’d made a fatal mistake by letting Iris in, even a little.

He’d just have to try harder at keeping his distance.

But then Iris took his hand.

As soon as Antony had stopped on the side of the road, closed his eyes, and leaned his head back against the headrest, Iris snapped out of her shock and reached for his hand. He tried to bat her away, but she was stubborn and eventually gripped his fingers in hers.

The fight drained out of him, and she tried to imagine finding someone she loved, like her parents, lying on the floor with their throats slit and a message written on the wall in their blood.

Right here, right now, Antony was just a male. Not the bloke who teased her or irritated her or made her heart race. Just a miserable human who blamed himself for the past.

Her dragon spoke up. He needs us right now. Don’t fight it.

Given how Antony now clung to her hand like his life depended on it, Iris couldn’t deny it. I’m not sure what I can do.

Yes, you do.

“Antony.”

He rubbed his free hand down his face. “It’ll take me some time to coordinate a ride home to your clan. But I just need a few minutes first.”

“What the bloody hell are you talking about?”

His eyes shot open, and he turned toward her. “You can’t still want to work with me, Iris.”

“And here I thought you weren’t the type of male to tell me what I should think, aye?”

His brows came together. “You can’t be rejoicing that I was a stupid young man who let my ego and pride get in the way and kill a sweet, innocent woman.”

“If I were celebrating that, then I’d worry about myself, aye?”

“Iris,” he growled.

She gripped his hand tighter. “Look, we all do stupid shite sometimes. And whilst aye, yours was more extreme, it’s done. We can’t change the past, only work on doing better in the future. And seeing as how you’ve dedicated over twenty years to this Wicked Security team, I think you’ve been doing the best you can.”

He finally managed to shake her hand off and instead gripped the steering wheel. “Maybe. But if I’m not careful, they could murder you, too.”

“Look at me, Antony Holbrook.” He did, and she continued, “I never knew your Lisa, but did she have training with the British Army? Spend over a decade working with a dragon security team? Face dragon hunters and Dragon Knights and live to tell the tale?”

“No, but?—”

“I’m not done. I can protect myself. Aye, sometimes I need help, and I ask for it, as much as I don’t like it. But I’ve faced a lot of dangers since I was eighteen, and I’ve made it to nearly thirty. There’s always a risk I won’t survive to the next mission, and I accept that. But I push on because protecting my clan and my parents is everything. However, if you doubt that, if you don’t believe in me, then maybe we should part ways. Because I’ve dealt with plenty of males underestimating me in the past, even one that supposedly loved me, and I won’t put up with it again.”

Fuck. Had she really said that?

Her dragon spoke up. I think because he shared his past, and now you want to share yours.

Quiet, dragon.

Antony’s voice prevented her beast from replying. “I picked you to be my partner for this mission for a reason, Iris—I trust you to watch my back. So don’t ever bloody think I underestimate you. You’re talented and brilliant and amazing. Shall I go on?”

She turned toward him and blinked at how close his face was to hers. The fire flashing in his eyes said he meant it, too.

And the small crack around her heart doubled in size. “No. I-I believe you.”

Time slowed as they stared at one another. For a second, she thought Antony might lean in and kiss her.

But then he cleared his throat and retreated. Before she could process her disappointment, he said, “If you think I’m not going to ask about the arsehole who underestimated you in the past, the one who most definitely didn’t deserve your love, then you don’t know me at all.”

She frowned. “I’d rather not talk about it.”

He quirked an eyebrow. “I just shared the worst day of my life. Why won’t you share a little with me, too, Iris? I think it’ll help me understand you better. For working together on the mission, of course.”

“But I thought we were on a schedule?”

“We are. But we’ll just have to skip a stop at the service station for food and pick something up along the way. Which means we have time for this.”

Part of her wanted to finally share the burden. One she’d never shared with anyone, not even Cooper and Brodie.

But another part of her knew that doing so would widen the crack in the wall around her heart, the wall she needed to protect herself.

Her dragon spoke up. Just do it. He knows how to keep secrets and would never share it with the world.

You have a lot of trust in him.

He’s revealed some weak moments, things we could use against him, if we really wanted to. And yet, he trusts us. I like him.

Don’t go getting ideas, dragon.

Her beast sniffed. I’m done arguing. Eventually, you’ll see it my way.

I won’t.

For now, just tell him. That way, we’ll be even, and he won’t have to worry about us using his past against him since he’ll have something just as painful from us, aye?

Antony wouldn’t cause us pain.

Aye, I know. I’m just glad you realize it, too.

Not wanting to think too hard on that, she searched Antony’s brown eyes. Eyes that were both curious and yet almost…warm. As if begging her to trust him with this.

She finally said, “I will, as long as you don’t interrupt me with constant demands for his name, or voicing threats. Whilst I appreciate the sentiment, it’ll only make this take longer. And the less I have to talk about the bastard, the better.”

“I promise. For now. But even if you don’t tell me, I’ll know his name soon enough. His punishment will depend on how much he hurt you.”

She frowned. “There you go, sounding like a protective male dragon-shifter again.”

“Don’t try to distract me. Tell me what happened, Iris. Please.”

It was the please that did it. After taking a deep breath, Iris reached back to memories she’d long ago buried. “It was during my time with the army. There was a human I met early on, one who trained me and I often sparred with. He was unlike any other human I’d met before—strong, intelligent, just as stubborn as me, and more accepting of dragon-shifters than I was used to. As soon as I finished my training and was no longer his student, we started spending a lot of time together.

“In the beginning, it was nice. He teased me, flirted, and made me feel special. I’ve always had trouble with males, especially dragon-shifter ones, because they never thought I could protect myself. And this male, well, he knew I could. However, once I started to perform better than him—with commendations and getting assigned more and more responsibilities—things began to change.”

“And not for the better, I take it?” Antony asked.

Iris shook her head. “It started with little comments about there being easier standards for females. He said that if I was held to the same ones as males, I never would’ve advanced so far. And yet I was held to higher standards than the humans since I’m a dragon-shifter. And to even be admitted to the British Army for training, I had to pass the same tests as the male dragons from my clan. I worked hard, so bloody hard, and yet not having a dick meant I would never be good enough.”

She clenched her fingers into a fist, remembering her ex’s words: If you were a man, you’d never have been given that last assignment. They just wanted good PR, showing off the most promising female dragon-shifter. Eventually, they’ll move on and you’ll be stuck, same as me.

Antony’s voice snapped her back to the present. “So it seems we both have things to prove. Even though your record shows how fucking brilliant you are, I can make sure you’re credited in the press releases once we catch these bastards.”

“No, I don’t want fame and glory. That human male means nothing to me now.”

After raising his hand, Antony lightly caressed her cheek. Iris leaned into the warm, soft touch as he said, “Well, he was a fool. And one day soon, him and everyone who belittled you will realize it.”

“Antony, don’t do anything stupid.”

“Oh, I’m far too experienced for that. I know how to make someone’s life miserable with a single phone call.”

She searched his gaze, and the mixture of determination, anger—for her, not at her—and something she couldn’t define made her want to share more with him. This male seemed different from the others. In a good way.

Her dragon spoke up. Of course he is. He tests males for bullshit right away, aye?

Antony cupped her cheek, and despite her better judgment, she leaned more into his touch.

She nearly placed her hand over his when his phone rang. With a curse, he said, “Sorry, but I have to take that,” before picking it up.

He didn’t try to hide his conversation with her, albeit it was one-sided. Something about the press and news getting out.

After he told the person to take care of it, he hung up and grimaced. “The dragon hunters have uploaded videos and made posts about an upcoming dragon civil war, and it’s catching fire.”

“And, sadly, fact-checking means nothing anymore, aye?”

“Unfortunately, yes. However, I have some of the best PR people in the world on tap, and they’re trying to mitigate the damage as best as they can. But the sooner we can find the rest of the rogue dragon-shifters and whoever is making this gas, the better. Humans like a villain to pin things on. So if we give them one, along with some strategic events or interviews with dragon-shifter leaders, it might stop the pitchforks.” He turned on the engine. “Which means we need to hurry to the Peak District. I need to make several calls along the way, but just know that later, once we have a moment, I want to know you better, Iris Mahajan. Much better.”

His cryptic words made her heart thump harder in her chest. Did he really want to woo her and kiss her and work on demolishing the wall around her heart?

Her dragon spoke up. He’d better. Otherwise, I might have to try. He’s not like other males.

No, he’s not. And yet, I’m still worried about this blowing up in my face, like the last time I let someone in.

That was over a decade ago, and we were young, aye? And Antony’s isn’t some young male, out to prove himself. He’s done that already, has confidence, and realizes strength doesn’t always mean using brute force.

Iris wasn’t sure how to respond, especially since the more her dragon talked, the more she wanted to stop fighting her attraction and give Antony a chance.

Eventually, as Antony took call after call, she fell asleep to dreams of her laughing at something Antony said before taking him to bed and claiming him as her own.