Page 44 of The Dragon King’s Claw (The Dragons of Serai #17)

The King looked up, caught my stare, and smiled softly.

So terrible to smile, what with Vasren mourning the loss of his lover nearby.

But with Katai's departure, I could finally take a breath.

Focus on other things. Oh, I would investigate the Hallax Mine and I would find the dead who had been lost. But I could do it without other deaths hanging over my head now.

Without anger burning my belly. Perspective.

Haven't I said it before? It's all about perspective.

The King drew me out of the apartment and into the hallway. He shut the door and whispered, “Are we to give chase? He can't be far.”

I loved that his mind was a match for mine. Well, not a match, but close enough.

“I think not, Your Majesty. This is one criminal I feel justified in letting go.”

“I as well. Katai has done terrible things but toward a righteous end. He has exposed horrible crimes that we've missed. In a way, we are as culpable as he.”

“I agree.”

“That being said, he still has the kurline.”

“No, actually. He left it behind. It's on the dresser.”

“What?” He glanced at the door. “He just left it sitting there?”

I nodded. “On top of our letters. I'll secure it when we go back in.”

“What do you think he wrote to Vas?”

I shrugged. “Something bittersweet. Something to haunt Sir Vasren but also help him move on. Katai is a complicated man, but a good one, I think.”

“He certainly thought well of you.” Tor'rien brushed back my hair. “So, my Claw, the game is over. I believe it's a draw.”

“A draw,” I murmured. “Yes, I hadn't thought of it that way. Now, will you go back to your castle and let me work?”

Tor'rien chuckled. “Only if you promise to return to me every night.”

“Every night?” I grinned at first, and then I realized that the brightness in my chest, the feeling that had come with the thought of being Tor'rien's mate, was quickly transforming into fear.

Strange, useless fear. Why? Oh, dear Gods.

What have I done to myself? I've done the improbable and formed an attachment.

With a Dragon. Now, I want the very thing I used to fear.

“You're worried about security.” Tor'rien shook his head. “You'll get used to it, Tekhan. I will be there beside you all night. I'll help you past your fears.”

“Not this one,” I whispered.

“It's irrational. I'm certain you'll see that after a few nights.”

“No, Your Majesty, not the security thing. My new fear.”

“What fear is that?”

“That I'll lose you.”

Tor'rien's eyes widened. “What's this now? Have you gone mad? I just told you I want you to live with me. I'm going to make you my consort, Tekhan.”

“That's what's made me afraid.”

“I don't understand you.”

“How many times have we been together sexually?”

He cocked his head. “Why?”

“Dragons know fairly quickly if someone is their mate.”

“Ah.” Tor'rien smiled.

“Don't smile at me like that. Either way, you'll be fine.

But if I become your consort, I will get even more attached.

Then, if I'm not your mate, which is looking more and more likely, I will end up like Vasren.” I nodded toward the door, wincing at the sound of his sobs.

I was a little surprised that a Dragon knight would mourn so openly.

I looked back at Tor'rien. “This is why I didn't want to be with you.

I knew with one look that you'd be bad for me.

A threat. You shattered my beliefs and turned everything upside-down.

It makes no sense. Nonsense. And now my life is all nonsense.

I don't like this feeling.” I rubbed at my chest. “It's hard to breathe.”

Tor'rien grabbed my hand and pulled me into a hug.

“That's called love, Tekhan.” He leaned back to look at me.

“I warned you there would be no going back.

This is what I meant. I disguised what was happening between us with sex and possessiveness so you wouldn't run from me.

But you can't run away from your own heart.” He laid his palm over my heart.

“Don't be afraid. Whatever comes, we will always have this. My heart is constant. And yours.”

It was hard to swallow, but I did. My hand shook as I lifted it to lay over his heart. “I feel odd. And still very much afraid.”

He chuckled. “You wouldn't be afraid if you didn't have something wonderful to lose. Love isn't real if there's no risk involved.” He nuzzled my forehead. “I need you to trust me, Tekhan. Whether you're my mate or not, I will not betray you. I can't. I—”

The door opened and Sir Vasren came stumbling out. Both the King and I reached out to steady him, but he darted around us and rushed down the stairs.

“Vasren!” Tor'rien called after him. “Vas! Damn it all.”

“Go,” I said. “I need to secure the kurline.”

He nodded and raced after Vasren with Gilhu and Heicren close behind.

Alone, I went back into the apartment. Katai's letter was tucked into my coat.

His letter to Vasren was crumpled on the bed.

I went to it, smoothed it out, and read it.

Yes, I read a personal letter. It was Vasren's fault for abandoning it.

Vasren, my love,

You will never know how hard it was for me to leave you.

I've planned my revenge upon the evil ones in this city for so long, been so entrenched in it, that I never thought I could find something beautiful here.

I want you to know that you weren't a part of my plans.

You have to know that, Vas. I tried not to fall in love with you.

I tried to stay away. But you just kept coming back.

With your smiles and open heart. I love you so much.

But the dead haunt me. I see them in my dreams. Burning. Screaming.

I have finally found peace. But I didn't count on paying such a high price for it.

You are worth more than vengeance. I recognized that too late.

I'm so sorry, Vas. I can't change what I've done.

I can't stop this. I hope you will move on quickly.

I have faith that you will. You're too incredible a man to be dragged down by me.

I never deserved you. And we both know that I'm not your mate.

The dead have been replaced by one living man. You will haunt me forever. I love you,

Katai

“Oh, fuck,” I muttered and folded the letter. I put it in my coat with the other one. Vasren would want it later when he realized he would never find Katai.

I thought about the King and how he had found me. Katai was too smart to be tracked. He would have done something to Vasren. I had no idea what. But I knew he would cover his tracks. Katai Gral was gone. I doubted he was Katai anymore.

“Good luck, my friend,” I whispered. “May the Gods give you a new life without the weight of the dead or the living upon it. May you find something even better than what you lost here. And may Vasren find it too.”