Page 17

Chapter 17

A dler was upset in the way only a werewolf could be. His wolf side hated to see his mate suffer and cry, hated that there seemed nothing he was able to do about it, no comfort he could give that would make it better.

It was the connection that flowed through their mate bite that let Adler make sense of it and calm his wolf. He’s confused. Not sad or hurt. It’s like a healing pain, and he can’t make sense of it himself.

Casually, as Gordon easily came to sit on his lap when he pulled him to the armchair with him, Adler noticed the stronger connection through the mate bite. Before, he’d been able to feel Gordon’s emotions only when shifted, and even then he’d worried what Gordon would think about that. Now, he sensed at least some of Gordon’s emotions in his human form.

He wouldn’t mind if he were a wolf. He’d welcome it. But he’s not. He will learn though. I’ll show him that he won’t have to be afraid when he gifts me his trust.

“Sweetheart, it’s fine. You are no longer packless. I’m right here, Gordon. Shh.”

Gordon was half curled up on Adler’s lap and pressed so close against him that roses were all Adler could smell. Roses and a subtle shift as Gordon calmed down.

When his mate smelled of desire, his scent of roses blended with caramel and cream. Adler loved it, loved exploring the parts of Gordon’s body where it was strongest, but before anything else, the wolf needed confirmation that his mate was all right.

When Gordon’s tears had subsided to the merest of sobs, Adler stroked his mate’s blue and white-tipped hair. “Do you want to talk?”

In Adler’s arms, Gordon shook his head. “Nah,” he said, voice still a little rough from crying. “I swear I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with me.”

The wolf didn’t like that at all. Adler could feel the much simpler reasoning, the outrage at the idea that his mate was anything other than perfect. But Adler was not an alpha’s beta for nothing.

“You just had a cry. That doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you. It means you are compassionate and beautiful and don’t hide from your own feelings.”

Gordon made an undignified sound. “You’re a lovestruck werewolf. No one should trust your assessment.”

Adler cupped Gordon’s neck, hating that his mate was hiding his face, loving that he was burying it against Adler’s chest. “Are you saying I don’t know what I’m talking about, sweetheart? You don’t want to do that, especially not when you know I’m right.”

Gordon said nothing, letting only a weak huff of laughter escape. He rested against Adler. The wolf loved it, his mate seeking to be close and comforted, and those silent minutes they shared with each other went a long way toward calming that side of Adler.

After Gordon’s tears had fully dried, and he was so much calmer, that caramel and cream scent was still there. I’ll make him feel so good. I’ll make him feel loved, if he wants it.

“Gordon,” Adler said. He ran his fingers through Gordon’s hair. “We should go to bed. You smell as if you want to do more than sleep. Do you?”

Gordon wiggled on Adler’s lap in the most seductive fashion, but then, he lifted his head, met Adler’s eyes.

It was through sheer force of will that Adler didn’t pounce then and there, the sight of his mate’s red and slightly swollen eyes, of that vulnerable expression on his face, almost more than the wolf could easily bear.

There was a single moment, bright as a flare, that had Adler sense the true wildness of the connection given to two people through a mate bite. It didn’t excite him. It worried him, that need to just have without making sure the other person was thinking the same.

It’s like that’s what the mate bite would be like with another werewolf, but Gordon isn’t that. Fuck me, but I want to keep him safe so bad, from anything and everything that might scare him, and I want him to learn to love me when I’m in fur, not fear my claws and teeth.

“I want to,” Gordon said. His voice was a sheet of clear glass, beautiful, yet incredibly breakable if struck by a wrong note.

“Okay. Come on then.”

Without bothering to give a warning, Adler stood and lifted Gordon with him.

Gordon snuggled close, put an arm around Adler. “Detective. Always have to show off your strength, do you?”

My mate! “Just for you, sweetheart.”

A stuttering bout of laughter went through Gordon. “You sure this is okay? With Mil here? I mean I know those keen werewolf senses.”

Adler chuckled. “You are thinking like a human. Even little wolves are quite aware what big wolves do in their alone time, unlike young humans. It’s not seen as anything scary or something that needs to be hidden.”

Gordon bit his lip. “Once more, I’m learning new things about wolf culture.”

Adler shrugged. “If you start screaming, even a little wolf might come check on you, so there’s that. You know, when a human friend from school once told me he had seen his parents that one time, doing things , and how shocking that had been for him, I almost rolled over laughing. I mean, for all of us going to co-ed schools, I swear watching the humans during Sex Ed class was one of the weirdest experiences of our childhoods.”

“Hey, Sex Ed class really helped me to figure out I’m bi.”

Adler opened the door and made his way to their bedroom. “Fair enough. I think most werewolves grow up assuming they’re some form of bi or pan. Maybe you were already suited for pack life even before you became a vampire.”

Gordon flapped his foot, maybe an attempt at delivering a teasing kick. “Stop it. You’re only going to make me tear up again.”

Once they were in the bedroom with the door closed behind them, Adler leaned back so he could see Gordon’s face. “You can cry as much as you want, sweetheart. I’ll always be here for you. You talked to Maxim earlier, didn’t you?”

Gordon nodded. “Yeah. Just… I don’t know. Sometimes, you can have a normal conversation with him. Weird, huh?”

Adler stroked the back of Gordon’s head. “Hmm. Should I worry that you are more comfortable talking to Maxim than me? When something worries you, I mean.” He stroked Gordon’s chin all the way along his jaw with a thumb. “I worry sometimes. About the things a vampire might need that I can’t give.”

And just like that, Gordon was on the edge of tears again. He wiggled, and Adler put him down. “You already give me your blood. If I ask you not to worry about anything else, can you please not? Can you trust me that I don’t need anything more from you than what you already do?”

“Only if you promise to let me know if or when you ever need more. Or less, for that matter.” Adler kissed Gordon’s forehead. “Gordon, you are my mate. Not being able to be there for you…”

Adler shook his head. The very idea of Gordon shutting him out was scary.

Gordon pinched his lip. “I can make that promise. But what do you need, detective? What am I not giving to the wolf in you? I know I haven’t done as well as I could have, but—”

Adler growled, the sound escaping before he could stop himself. “Sorry. Fuck. It’s a werewolf thing. And a beta thing, you know? Letting me take care of you is giving me what I need. Showing your approval of me in front of Maxim is giving me what I need. This conversation—telling me all this—is giving me what I need. Humans have called us toxic or high-maintenance for wanting to know how our partner is feeling, but for a werewolf, wanting to be tuned in to their other is normal.”

With a jolt, Adler understood why the mate bite had done what it had for them, why it had opened a door to Gordon’s emotions to him rather than allowing them to share thoughts like in other cases.

Thoughts and words can be barriers, but knowing his feelings is straightforward. Feelings are simpler.

With his mate’s sweet scent filling his nostrils, Adler’s life, his existence as a wolf and his passion for police work, all of it made sense. He was there already. He’s been waiting for me, my mate. I just had to grow up and become ready to meet him. We were meant for one another.

Gordon looked nearly shy. “Well, okay. I guess that makes sense.”

It makes perfect sense. You are mine—were mine from the very beginning.

The wolf that lived in Adler’s chest and in his mind wanted to howl that revelation out into the world and let everyone know he had arrived exactly where he was meant to be, but this wasn’t the time to make noise about it. After all, Adler’s mate wasn’t ready yet, wasn’t quite there yet with him.

And that was fine. Adler could be patient.

So, like a werewolf the morning after the shift had to adapt to feet again, Adler leaned in and kissed his mate, prepared to watch him writhe on the sheets before the moon was at its zenith.

“Yeah. It makes perfect sense.”