Page 14

It wasn’t enough.

Aodhan kissed him passionately, but it wasn’t all-consuming. Wasn’t that same desperate rush that Calix had gotten when they’d been at the party, only one room away from a man being cut in half.

“You were so hot that night,” he found himself admitting. “Taking control of the situation. Helping me get away.”

“You like persons of authority,” Aodhan replied, and Cal was too far gone to note it wasn’t a question but an observation. He captured his chin and forced his head up, grinning when that made Calix whine. “You’ll be the perfect little sub for me, won’t you, baby? Let me beat that ass raw?”

Was this the game? They’d agreed to role play, to feeling it out, but…

“Don’t worry,” the doctor seemed to sense his hesitation, “there’s no wrong or right thing here, Detective. Just go by instinct. I’ll follow your lead.”

He licked his lips, thighs widening slightly to accommodate Aodhan better when the doctor’s eyes immediately followed the swipe of his tongue. His dick was straining toward the other man, leaking despite the fact all they’d done so far was kiss and talk about the party.

“You like it rough,” Aodhan said, voice turning seductive as he settled in closer, the hand on Calix’s chin slipping down to wrap lightly around his throat. “I can see all your scars right now.”

“They’re from work,” he rushed to excuse, but Aodhan tutted at him.

“Not all of them.” His eyes landed on the marks notched into Cal’s inner thighs. “You remember my profession, don’t you? I can recognize self-inflicted injuries when I see them.”

Calix shoved Aodhan away, scrambling to his feet. He turned just as the doctor settled onto the couch, eyeing him warily when he didn’t seem to be nearly as affected by that as Cal was. “You don’t care?”

Aodhan tipped his head and spread his arms out over the back of the sofa. “Should I?”

“Most people would, yeah.”

“In what way?”

“They’d call me disgusting or broken,” Calix suggested, frowning. “Freak…I don’t know. They’d at least ask why I did it, if I still do, and tell me to stop.”

“I know why you did it,” Aodhan said, ignoring when Cal sucked in a sharp breath. “You were trying to get something out of yourself. Trying to chase something away and using pain to do it.”

“I…” Calix blinked. “How do you know that?”

“Bruce talks about you,” he shrugged like it was no big deal. Like him sitting there casually picking Cal apart down to a cellular level wasn’t a big deal. “Do you still do it?” He snorted. “I don’t have to ask that either. Those wounds are old, but that doesn’t mean you’ve stopped hurting yourself. Your reputation precedes you, Detective. You’re the first to run headfirst into danger and the last to return home from a fight. You still crave release, it’s just the method in which you achieve it has changed.”

“That’s enough.” Calix’s dick was still heavy at the apex of his thighs, but some of the arousal had dissipated, replaced by a sick feeling of self-loathing.

“Why? I’m only telling you the truth.”

“Normal people aren’t into things like pain.”

“I guess that depends on who you ask and what you deem normal. The universe is vast, Cal. Plenty of people are into blood play. Hate to break it to you, but you aren’t the only masochist in existence.”

“I’m not…” Maybe he was.

Was he?

He’d never allowed himself to think that far, had been doing all of this with the sole purpose of stopping himself from being able to think.

“Can I tell you a secret?” Aodhan asked. “One that may or may not lead to you trying to kick me out of here?”

He should say no. Hell, he should put a stop to all of this and kick the guy out anyway. This was too close to home for him. He’d never shared any of this with another person before, had never dared to dream to, and yet Aodhan had stripped him bare—both literally and figuratively—and all without batting an eyelash.

Like he really believed what he said, and all of this could be considered normal.

“Okay.”

“I’ve liked you since that first night,” Aodhan didn’t hesitate to confess as soon as Calix gave the go-ahead, a light flickering in his pink eyes.

“The first…” His chest tightened. “The night I was rapped?”

“It wasn’t the fact you’d been harmed that did it for me,” he said. “It was the way you clung to me when I held you. The way you looked with tears decorating your cheeks.”

“You…liked that I was crying?” That didn’t compute. It didn’t connect with the squeaky-clean image of the doctor he’d concocted in his head. The one everyone was always singing praises for and calling the sweetest. “Enjoying other people’s suffering isn’t sweet.”

“I don’t like that you suffered,” he reiterated. “I like how you looked when you cried. You’re overthinking it, Cal. Some things are just simple. They just are. Like how you can find sexual gratification from pain. It just is. That doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you.”

“Yes, actually, it does.”

“When we were talking about the party earlier, that turned you on, didn’t it?” Aodhan started to undo his pants, stripping slowly while Calix stood there and watched. “It turned me on. That night, I sent you away because I was going to fuck you on the ground, with the scent of merman blood and the sounds of an orgy tainting the air. I didn’t want that. Didn’t want to share you.”

Calix’s dick dripped when he got his first look at Aodhan’s naked form. It was so much better than he’d imagined in his fantasies, from the width of his shoulders and the toned lines of his chest to the massive cock hanging between his legs.

“It’s big,” Aodhan chuckled. “You can say it.”

“It’s big,” he stupidly repeated.

“It’ll fit.”

He shook his head. No, no, it definitely wouldn’t. Aodhan was larger than any of the toys Calix had used. Bigger than any of the random hookups he’d had while traveling for work.

“This is nothing,” Aodhan said cryptically, but before Cal could ask, he took a single step closer, making the detective lock up. “Are you afraid, baby?” he asked cajolingly.

Or maybe mockingly. Calix couldn’t be sure anymore.

“Should I put you over my knee and tan your hide until you can’t even hope to crawl away from me?” Aodhan held up both hands and paused when that had Calix gasped. “Hey, it’s a game, remember? You’re safe, Detective. If you want me to stop, all you have to do is say so, and I will, all right? You’re in control here.”

Right, because this was play. They were playing.

“Have you done this before?” Calix asked.

“Once or twice.”

“So then…what happens now?”

“You tell me.”

“I…” He looked away, embarrassed all over again. “I can’t.”

“You’ve never acted on your urges in the bedroom before?” Aodhan sounded like he really wanted to know the answer to that. “Never asked an ex-lover to get rough with you or fuck you hard and dirty?”

Calix shook his head, unable to verbally respond.

“Why does that embarrass you, baby?” Aodhan captured the distance between them and cupped his cheek, forcing Cal to meet his gaze. “You don’t have to feel ashamed for the things you want. On the contrary. Put all those negative feelings that society trained you to feel aside. All you have to do is have the courage to,” he nipped at Calix’s bottom lip hard enough to draw blood, “take what you want.”

The taste of copper exploded in his mouth and Cal shoved Aodhan away again, only this time, he followed him, both of them tumbling down onto the couch. They grappled for dominance for a brief moment before he found himself lying chest down over the cushions.

Aodhan’s hand came down across his right ass cheek with no warning, the sound echoing throughout the room.

Cal jerked and swore, but the doctor didn’t let up, his other hand pinning Calix down by his narrow back as he spanked him, all of his attention on the same cheek. The pain accumulated, the sharp stings turning to a burn that coursed throughout his entire body. He couldn’t be sure how long the assault lasted, but the second he moaned, Aodhan finally let up.

“You look perfect with my handprints all over you.” The doctor massaged his cheek roughly, hushing him when Calix protested with mewling sounds. “If I had my way, I’d mark you up well and good. But this is already further than I thought you’d let me take things tonight, and I don’t want to scare you away, baby.”

“What?” Cal was finding it hard to follow. Even more so when a second later he was hauled up the couch and practically tossed over the arm rest, ass now high in the air. His cheeks were spread, and then Aodhan hacked behind him. He jolted when a sticky glob of spit landed directly on his entrance. “What are you doing?”

“I know you want it to hurt,” Aodhan said, lining himself up so he could rub his thick crown against the spot, slicking the area up with spit and precome, “but if it’s too dry it’ll suck for the both of us. Also, pain? Not really my thing.”

“Wait.” Calix could only feel the press of that shaft against him for now, and even that felt huge. The doctor couldn’t possibly be planning on sticking that inside of him without any sort of preparation beforehand, right?

Right?!

“No, Aodhan, don’t—”

“Relax, baby,” he ordered, the authoritative tone momentarily cutting through Calix’s survival instincts. Just long enough for him to take advantage.

Calix’s vision winked in and out, the scream getting lodged in his throat so all he could do was gasp and emit a sharp sound when that two-inch-thick cock was pushed past his defenses. He felt it stretching his hole to the point he feared he would tear, his walls squeezing around the intrusion as Aodhan pushed in inch after inch, until all eight of him was fully seated inside of Calix’s body.

His body that had clearly gone into shock. He held still, hands flat on the floor to keep himself from completely falling, even as his back and arm muscles twitched from the strain. There was pain even though Aodhan had gone still, allowing his body time to adjust, but the pain didn’t matter.

Calix’s heart pumped furiously in his chest, blood rushing through him at a rapid pace.

Some going straight to his aching dick.

He glanced down, catching sight of the tip where it was smushed against the leather of the armrest, and watched as a dribble of fluid leaked from his slit and plopped onto the carpet.

The slap against his ass almost had him losing his balance, but Aodhan’s hands came to his hips then, holding him still as he finally started to move.

The doctor didn’t ease him into things further; one second he was giving him time, and the next he was full on drilling into him, shaking the entire couch, laughing as Calix howled.

“There you go, baby. You take me so good. Just like that.” Aodhan pinched Cal’s left ass cheek, keeping him helpless, bent over the arm of the sofa. “You’re bleeding a little, Detective. Would you like me to stop?”

He vehemently shook his head, not trusting his voice and hoping Aodhan saw.

The doctor, ever perceptive, did, and started viciously pounding his ass.

The squelch of blood and precome filled the room, a sound that should have been humiliating. At the very least, it shouldn’t have been one that could make him moan.

And yet it did.

All of the guilt and inner turmoil he was constantly carrying had somewhere to go now, the pain turning sharp and pooling to the spot deep inside where he was being torn and battered. He could feel the ache, noted how it was going to sting in the morning whenever he moved, but that only aroused him more.

The idea of feeling the doctor’s marks on him, even long after they were finished and the other man was gone, had Calix’s hips flicking back to meet the next harsh thrust.

“There you go, baby,” Aodhan praised. “Cry for me.”

The angle of this position allowed for the doctor’s cock to drive in deep, spearing through Calix’s insides so he could feel him bumping against his lower abs. He struggled to breathe with the blood rushing to his head, his hands pushing against the thin carpet to keep upright, even as Aodhan’s fingers dug into his hips bruisingly.

But the initial sharp bursts of pain had started to dissipate the slicker his insides got.

It still wasn’t enough.

“Harder,” he demanded, barely recognizing the needy, desperate sound of his own voice.

“Any harder and this ass will be sore come morning, Detective.”

“I want that,” he confessed. “I want it to hurt.”

Pain chased away all the doubts and destructive thoughts. Pain grounded him.

“I'm not a good person,” the words tumbled off his lips as a sob tore from his throat. “Please. Make me forget. Give it to me harder. I can take it.”

Aodhan was quiet for a moment, though his hips never lost their momentum, fucking into him with the same frenzied pace as before. Because of this, the second he stopped, a strangled sound came out of Cal, one the doctor immediately shushed him for.

“I’ve got you, baby,” Aodhan reassured. “I just need to grab something from my pants. Hold on.” He reached down to where he’d discarded them earlier, hooking a finger through the belt so he could tug them close enough to grab something from his pocket.

From his vantage, Calix couldn’t make out what it was, and a trickle of delicious fear raced through him, causing him to shift. The movement had that hard cock pressing against his prostate and he hissed as sparks of electricity skittered throughout his entire body.

“So impatient,” Aodhan scolded, then seemed to hesitate.

“What?” Cal asked when the moment dragged on too long.

“I’m trying to talk myself out of this,” he admitted. “We should stop here, Detective. This is far enough for one night.”

What the hell was that supposed to mean? What exactly was the doctor thinking about doing?

His mind went back to the party, and for the first time, real fear gripped him. “You’re not planning on mutilating me…are you? Because,” he shook his head again, “I’m not okay with anything like that. Pain is one thing, but—”

“I would never cut off any piece of you,” Aodhan told him, his voice softening. “I like you whole, Detective. You can’t possibly understand the gravity of that, or how ironic it is, but it’s the truth.”

“Then…? Why’d you stop?”

He chuckled darkly. “Baby, there’s a hell of a lot of other things I could do to you that don’t involve removing a body part.”

“I don’t care.” Shamelessly, Cal rubbed his swollen dick against the arm rest, the rolling of his hips causing Aodhan’s cock to move within him as well. They both moaned that time. “Do whatever, just don’t stop. Don’t stop. Keep fucking me. I want to feel you rearrange my insides with your—”

Aodhan pulled out and drove back in, his thrusts half mad as he pistoned in and out of Cal’s torn hole.

With his dick caught between him and the leather, the friction from each stroke brought him closer and closer to the edge. His balls tightened, and he bit onto his bottom lip, reopening the wound that had already started to heal.

Just before he could achieve orgasm, however, he felt the press of something cold against his right ass cheek. It dragged about an inch over him, his mind struggling to place the object, when suddenly it was turned, and the sensation altered.

“Fuck!” Calix cursed at the first cut of the knife against his ass, and swore again when Aodhan made another mark, and then another. Three in total, quick and clean. Something was tossed into the kitchen area, and his eyes landed on a scalpel, the blade tinted red.

Aodhan spanked the spot he’d just carved, laughed when Calix screamed and came at the same time.

His vision blanked out and he lost his grip as the orgasm ripped through him more aggressively than the scalpel had. He would have fallen completely off the couch if not for the doctor. Calix found himself lifted and turned, repositioned so he was kneeling with his arms slung over the back of the couch.

Aodhan forced his legs apart and drove his cock back into him, his pelvis slapping against the cuts on his ass with every inward thrust.

Cal clawed at the leather weakly and whimpered. Just as he was about to beg for it to stop, Aodhan’s cock tore from his hole, shooting a load of cream against the fresh wound. He cried from the sting, the tears pouring down his cheeks as all those combined feelings overwhelmed him.

Once Aodhan was finished and stepped back, Cal fell over, lying on the cushions, tucking his face protectively into his arms.

“It’s okay, baby.” The doctor kneeled at his side, running his fingers gently through his damp hair. “Cry it out. It’s okay.” He planted a soft kiss to Calix’s shoulder that might have been considered sweet if not for the accompanying bite that threatened to break more skin. “There’s nothing to be ashamed of. I would cry, too, if I caught the attention of someone like me. Actually,” he chuckled, “I did.”

“What?” Calix couldn’t follow.

“Nothing. Just lie here and let it out. I’m going to go get a washcloth and some first aid from the bathroom so I can clean you up.” He stood and left to do that before Calix could even decide if he wanted to stop him.

Or if he wanted him to stay and keep petting his hair like he really was precious.

Like all of this really was normal.