Page 105 of The Devil's Deceit

I lower my head and take a second to gather my thoughts. “If I’d kept a closer eye on what was going on, I’d have spotted it earlier and been able to intervene. I fucked up, and two kids lost their parents.”

“Bro, you can’t blame yourself for the actions of others,” Tobias says.

It doesn’t surprise me that he comes to my defense. Out of all of us, he’s the joker in the pack, the softest, the kindest, the most understanding. It’s the others I’m worried about, and they haven’t heard the half of it yet.

“No, but if I’d donemyjob, then I would’ve discovered what they were up to. Instead, I left them to it, and that’s on me.Mymistake gave them the freedom to steal from me. From us.” I rub my lips together and shake my head. “This family doesn’t make mistakes.”

“That’s not true,” Dad says. “None of us are perfect, Christian.”

I lift my chin and seek him out, expecting to find disappointment in his eyes. Instead, all I get is understanding,empathy, compassion. I shift my gaze to the rest of my siblings and their wives. They’re all giving me the same vibes.

“You’re not as flawed as me,” I mutter. “I’m constantly in awe of you all, of the things you juggle without dropping a single ball.”

Nicholas snickers. “You’re fucking joking. I screw things up every single day.”

“But no one dies.”

He glances at Xan, then back at me. “Not true.”

“Okay, I’ll rephrase: no one who doesn’t deserve it dies because of a mistake you made.”

“Is this really what you’ve been hiding all this time?” Xan asks, leaning forward, his hands dangling between his parted thighs.

“I didn’t want you to think less of me.”

“Why would you ever think that, Christian?” Dad asks.

“Because.” I shrug. “You’re all so damned smart.”

“As are you.”

I shake my head. “I don’t feel it. Most of the time I’m treading water and making it look as though I know what I’m doing. I fake confidence on the regular. I’ve lost count of the number of meetings I’ve been in with one or more of you where I can’t follow the conversation.”

Nicholas chuckles. “I can recall at least five occasions where I’ve been in meetings with you, and you’re quoting building regs off the top of your head or discussing changes to planning legislation, and I haven’t got a fucking clue what you’re on about. We all have our skillsets, Christian. None of us can be experts in everything, but that’s what makes this family so strong. We know our strengths, and we lean into them. We also know our weaknesses, and that’s where we let someone else take the lead.”

“Well said, son.” Dad shifts his gaze to me. “Christian, I’m in my sixties and I still don’t know what I’m doing half the time. We’re all just trying to do our best. And as for mistakes… well, that’s how we learn. If we never make a single error then we can’t grow, either ourselves or our businesses. I just wish you’d said how you felt earlier, then we could have reassured you.”

I nod, throat thick. “Thank you. I needed to hear that.”

For a few moments, silence settles over the room. Their understanding makes me feel as if I’m exhaling after holding my breath for far too long.

“So, are you ever going to tell us who did this to you?” Xan motions to my face.

“I’m getting there.” I look over at Dad. “The text you got from Oscar wasn’t real.”

Dad frowns. “You mean someone got through our encryption?”

“No. What I mean is the reason for the text wasn’t real. There was no urgent paperwork that needed signing. The person who did this to me got to Oscar and made him send it. The road to his office was blocked. We were ambushed by Drew Taylor’s brother. He tossed some kind of sedative smoke bomb into the car, and I passed out. Luckily, I managed to activate the tracker on my watch before I lost consciousness. The Mahoneys came and got me.”

“Is Oscar okay?” Dad asks, concern lacing his features.

“I think so. I instructed Dawson to send someone to his offices. Taylor told me he’d left him tied up but alive.”

A muscle flickers in Xan’s jaw. “And Taylor was the one who beat you up?”

“Yeah.”

“Why now, though?” Tobias asks. “Opportunity?”