Page 21 of The Dating Ban (Mind the Corbin Brothers #1)

Being Human

Ivy

P ee-Pee peers at me over the rim of her glasses, waiting.

“So, Ivy,” she says, her voice as calm and measured as always. “How’s it going?”

I lean back in the slightly-too-stiff armchair, letting my fingers play with a loose thread on my sleeve. “Good. Great. Life ticks along.”

“That’s not really an answer.”

I sigh. “I’m still doing yoga three times a week.”

She nods approvingly. “And how’s that going?”

“Shockingly well,” I admit. “I mean, I still struggle with some of the poses, but I actually feel better afterwards. I don’t want to throw my laptop out the window every time I get a frustrating email, so I guess that’s progress.”

Her mouth twitches. “That is progress.”

I nod. “And I’ve also taken up… a bit of a side project.”

She waits, because she knows I’ll keep talking if she just gives me enough silence .

I cross my legs. “I, uh, may have accidentally started an army.”

Both her brows lift. “An army?”

I wave a hand. “Not a real one. A gnome army.”

Pee-Pee laughs, which is shocking enough. Even she seems surprised and bites her lip to shut it down. “A… gnome army?”

“Yeah, I ordered way too much clay and needed something to do with it. Tried making a bowl first, but it turned out looking like a first try of a Grayson Perry. Then I attempted some jewellery… also a failure. But the gnomes? The gnomes worked.”

Pee-Pee, to her credit, barely reacts to this information. “And how many gnomes are in your army?”

I bite my lip. “Um… a lot?”

She just nods, as if this is completely normal. “And what do you plan to do with them?”

I shrug. “Right now, they’re just existing. Watching over my coffee table. And my breakfast bar. And my bookshelves. Theo—” I cut myself off, glancing away. “Anyway. They’re multiplying.”

There’s a pause. Then she says, “Theo?”

Damn it.

I pick at the thread on my sleeve again. “He thinks I should sell them.”

“And what do you think?”

I scoff. “I think they’re not nearly good enough for that.”

Another pause. “You know, Ivy, you have a tendency to talk yourself out of things before you even try them.”

I give her a look. “Yes, I know. That’s why I pay you.”

That earns me a small smile. “Fair enough. ”

She watches me for a moment, and I know she’s waiting for me to say more. To mention something else.

I don’t.

I don’t tell her about the hot tub.

About how warm the water was. About how close Theo was sitting next to me, the way our legs brushed underwater, the way my heart did something completely ridiculous in response.

And I definitely don’t tell her about the way I almost said something before I panicked and looked away.

Nope.

Not bringing that up.

I clear my throat. “So, I’m mentally stable. Shall we call it a day?”

She leans back in her chair, completely unimpressed. “Nice try.”

I sigh dramatically. “Worth a shot. I took care of Lucy when Theo was in a pickle. And we ended up with his family and my friend Christa in the hot tub. And it still felt a little bit more like friends… especially when his daughter declared that Theo doesn’t need a girlfriend because he has her and me.

She included me in their little family. And I like that, I’m not going to lie. ”

Pee-Pee watches me closely, her gaze calm but focused, like she’s watching the exact moment something clicks in my brain.

I shift under her stare, crossing my arms. “This is bad, isn’t it?” I blurt out.

Phyllis doesn’t react, just picks some fluff off her lavender cardigan. “What makes you say that?”

I throw up my hands. “Because I shouldn’t need to feel like I belong somewhere, right? I should be fine on my own. I should be content just being me. That was the whole point of this! I wasn’t supposed to let anyone else fill a space in my life. I was supposed to be enough on my own.”

Pee-Pee leans back slightly, watching me with that unreadable expression. “Ivy,” she says carefully, “do you think that wanting connection with people means you’re not enough?”

I shift uncomfortably. “That’s not—”

She lifts a hand, cutting me off gently. “You didn’t say that in so many words. But you seem to believe that needing people… that feeling like you belong somewhere is a weakness.”

I frown. “Isn’t it?”

Her brow furrows slightly. “No. It’s being human.”

I look down at my hands. “But what if I do need that? Doesn’t that mean I’ve failed? That I haven’t done what I was supposed to do?”

She tilts her head. “What exactly were you supposed to do?”

I shake my head, frustration bubbling in my chest. “I was supposed to… fix myself. Be happy being alone. Be strong enough to not feel like I need someone else.”

Pee-Pee exhales softly. “Ivy, do you remember why we agreed on the dating ban?”

I hesitate, fingers curling against the hem of my sleeve.

She doesn’t wait for me to answer. “It wasn’t because you needed to learn how to be alone. You were already alone. You were keeping yourself alone.” She pauses. “The problem wasn’t that you were dating. It was how you were dating.”

I swallow .

“You weren’t looking for connection. You were looking for validation. You told me yourself—you would walk into a bar, pick out someone who seemed interested, and then…” She gestures vaguely.

I close my eyes briefly. “And then I’d pretend to be whoever they wanted.”

She nods. “You made yourself easy to want. You made yourself into a fantasy, into something exciting. But the second they got too close, the second it was about you—not the version you were showing them, the real you—you pulled away.”

My chest tightens.

I already know this. I’ve known it for ages. But hearing it again, laid out so plainly, still stings.

She keeps going, her voice steady. “The dating ban wasn’t about isolation. It was about giving you time to figure out who you are—what you want in a relationship, and what the people you let into your life actually want from you.”

I nod slowly, staring at my lap. “Right.”

She waits a beat, then says, “A while ago you told me that with Theo you can be yourself. So let me ask you this—does Theo know you, the real you?”

I hesitate. “Yeah.”

“And do you feel like you’re pretending around him?”

I shake my head. “No.”

She nods. “And do you think he only wants you because you’re making yourself into something convenient for him?”

I blink. “No.” The answer is immediate. And true.

Theo doesn’t want something from me.

He just… wants me there .

The thought sends a strange, warm feeling curling in my stomach.

Pee-Pee nods. “Then maybe this isn’t what you were avoiding.”

I let out a slow breath, still staring at my lap.

She lets me sit with that thought for a moment before she speaks again, her voice gentler this time.

“You’re not supposed to be an island, Ivy.”

I swallow.

I know she’s right.

But knowing it and accepting it? That’s a whole different thing.

I stare down at my hands, my mind a mess of tangled thoughts. Pee-Pee has a way of making me see things—things I’ve been carefully ignoring or pushing aside. And now, I don’t know what to do with all of it.

“I told him about me not being able to have a baby.” Pee-Pee knows that is a big deal. I don’t talk about it much and letting him into this knowledge, that says something. “He was so open, the way he talked about Lucy’s mum, and I just wanted him to know something personal about me as well.”

“You trust him.” It’s not a question. It’s a statement and I know she is right.

“I do. That’s crazy, right?”

“Why?”

“Because… we don’t really know each other.”

“I would argue you know a lot about each other.” Pee-Pee is, as always, the voice of reason.

“But we haven’t known each other for long,” I argue back .

“What is the minimum time you need to know someone, before you trust them?” Damn you, Pee-Pee!

“I don’t know.”

Phyllis gives me an encouraging smile, “Ivy, trust is earned and what you have told me so far, Theo has done everything right to earn your trust. So, it’s only natural that you would open up to him.”

“Hm.” Oh great, now I’m the one hm-ing. I glance up hesitantly. “So… does that mean we shouldn’t be just friends?”

Pee-Pee doesn’t react, just watches me with that calm, infuriating patience.

I sigh, rubbing my hands over my face. “I don’t even know if he wants more. He’s never—” I pause, my heart picking up pace. “I mean, I don’t think he’s ever thought of me that way. Has he?”

Pee-Pee tilts her head slightly. “Has he ever treated you like just a friend?”

I open my mouth, ready to say yes, because that’s what I’ve always told myself.

But then I think about it.

The way he always makes sure there’s a cup of my favourite coffee waiting for me at the shop.

The way he instinctively shifts closer when we walk side by side, like he needs to keep me near.

The way he looks at me when he doesn’t think I’ll notice, like I’m something he can’t quite figure out but isn’t ready to stop trying.

My stomach tightens.

I close my mouth.

Pee-Pee nods slightly, as if she already knew I wouldn’t have an answer to that. “Ivy, you’re asking all the big questions when you don’t even know what you want yet. ”

I let out a frustrated breath. “But that’s the problem. I thought I knew what I wanted—I wanted to be independent, to feel whole on my own. And now…” I gesture vaguely. “Now I’m just confused.”

Pee-Pee offers a small smile. “Then maybe that’s your answer right now.”

I frown. “What?”

“Slow down.”

I scowl. “I hate slowing down.”

“I know,” she says, smirking slightly. “But you still have a little over a month left. So instead of trying to define something that hasn’t even happened yet, maybe you focus on what’s in front of you. Keep living your life. Keep being present. And when the time comes, you’ll know what you want.”

I slump back in my chair. “Great. Love that for me.”

Pee-Pee just chuckles.

There’s a long beat of silence before she asks, “So what are you planning to do?”

I sigh, shaking my head before finally sitting up, my expression set with determination.

“First,” I say, “I need to learn how to bake a cake.”

Pee-Pee’s lips twitch in amusement. “And then?”

Something flickers across my mind, something certain and real, but I don’t say it out loud. Instead, I just smile slightly and stand, grabbing my bag. “I guess we’ll see.”

Pee-Pee watches me, curious but letting it go.

I give her a small wave. “Same time next week?”

She nods. “Looking forward to hearing about the cake.”

I smirk. “You and me both.”