Page 15 of The Dark Duke’s Cinderella (The Untamed Ladies #1)

CHAPTER 15

A nna pulled her robe around her, warding off the chill from the open window by her bed. They had returned from the ball three hours ago. Her parents had shouted at one another for at least an hour before retiring. Their words had echoed through the walls all the way to her room. She hadn’t gleaned much from their argument, only that a duel would be held in the coming days, despite her mother pleading with the earl to reconsider.

“ He is a rake, an army man. He has both the determination and the aim to kill you—and you would still lay your life on the line for your honor?”

“The duke will see the error in his ways when my pistol is directed at him, and he will reconsider. And if he does not, then may God have mercy on our souls.”

“ Talk to him. There is still time. Go to see him and strike a deal for Anna’s hand. You managed it with Lord Ashwicken. Think of what you could gain. Your grandchildren would be heirs to a duchy. Oh, Heavenly Father. It is as He says. Do good to those who hate you ? —”

The sound of something falling, smashing, and her mother’s cry.

“ He does not hate me. He does not respect me. If he did, he would already have asked for her hand. Trust that he will have learned respect by the time morning comes… One way or another…”

At that point, Anna had clamped her hands over her ears to avoid hearing the rest. Philip didn’t care about her enough to send himself to the gallows on her behalf. And her father had too much to lose in this life to shoot him out of anger. The duel would end like most of them did—as a parenthesis in the rags the next morning. But it didn’t mean the prospect didn’t frighten her half to death.

“And where does that leave me?” she thought aloud, resting her chin on her knees.

She curled her toes into her bedsheets, wishing she had never attended the Ratley ball, had never sung at the opera, had never met?—

She couldn’t finish that thought.

Something had clipped against her window. She crawled toward it, worried an animal was trying to climb inside. Her fingers curled around the frame as she pushed the sash into place, the cold breeze from outside snaking into her hair and chilling her bones.

A whistle sounded from below, but it was far too late for birds to be singing. She peered out the glass into the gardens outside. A man stood there, staring up at her. He stepped forward on the grass, moving past the row of yew hedges by the house into the faint light from the moon.

“Philip,” Anna whispered, not believing her eyes. She narrowed her gaze, scared that she was dreaming—or worse, that the duel had already occurred and gone wrong, and Philip’s ghost had come to haunt her. “Are you?—”

“Come down,” he whispered back, looking around him. His voice was hoarse, as if he had been shouting, even at that low volume. “Now, Anna.”

The longer she waited, the more chance someone would spot him. Closing the window, she slipped off the bed and grabbed her slippers from the ball. The cold floorboards bit into her bare feet as she made her way onto the landing.

She hurried through the house to the back doors, grateful to find them unlocked. The door creaked open, and Anna cringed at the sound it made. Looking over her shoulder, she made sure she wasn’t followed as she exited into the night.

Pausing by the doors to fasten her shoes, she gasped as a shadow moved toward her in the darkness. The familiar clean, almost medicinal smell of Philip reached her first. He took her by the arm and pulled her further into the garden, crossing the lawn quickly until they were hidden by the trees at the border of the property.

Faint light emanated from the gas lamps around Grosvenor Square, revealing his face to her in half-darkness. He was wearing the same clothes as earlier, with a long thick coat draped over his shoulders. His hair was disheveled, and his face looked gaunt and pale from the stress of the evening.

Anna didn’t know what to ask first. She was overwhelmed with relief to see him and held back the urge to throw herself into his arms. They stood close beneath the canopy of branches overhead, and the intimacy of the moment wasn’t lost on her.

The last time they had been so close, he had taken her hand, and no one had been around to see.

“I would beg your forgiveness for drawing you out at such a late hour, but I fear it is the lesser of my transgressions this evening,” he began, humor lacing his voice despite the seriousness of the subject matter. “I do not know what to say to explain my earlier actions. Should I tell you that I am sorry?”

“Only if that is how you truly feel,” Anna said. “I will not accept your apology if you only intend to pacify me with it.”

“If either of us were such a deft manipulator, we would not be in this mess. I am sorry. But not because I…” he trailed off, looking over her head toward the house. “I do not want you to believe that I kissed you because I wished to use you for my own gain—whatever it may have been. The moment took me off guard. I wanted to help you, and yet…”

He stopped, and Anna could hear his breathing quicken.

“I kissed you because a part of me wanted to. A part I have tried to squash since I met you. I cannot be faulted for that. You are maddening… But I must be punished for acting on my impulses the way I did. That is what I want you to understand. That is why I came here tonight.”

Anna didn’t understand anything, but it felt good to know that Philip’s affections had partly been true—that he had wanted to kiss her just because he liked her.

“I… I wanted you to…” Now it was her turn to struggle for words. “I am not sorry that the kiss happened. I am sorry that it happened the way it did.”

She could swear she saw relief flash in his eyes in the dark.

“I see,” he said.

“Do you?”

“Yes. But I also fear that you are only saying these things to make me feel better about my behavior. I would not put it past you to lie to spare what remains of my self-respect.”

“I have never lied to you. And I will never lie to you so long as we know each other, which I hope is a long time. So tell me that you have come to speak with my father before anyone is hurt. You must know he is planning a duel.” Anna inched closer, not satisfied with his silence. “I heard him say so to my mother. And he cannot have organized it without your consent, so?—”

“It is to be held in a few hours at St. James’ Park.”

The confession knocked the air out of Anna’s lungs. She stumbled back, her foot catching under a tree root. Philip reached for her, holding her steady.

“I thought it would be days,” Anna murmured, shaking him off. “Why would you agree to something so quickly? How did you…” She grabbed the collar of her nightgown, wringing it in her hand. “You came to say your goodbyes. You came seeking an apology because you intend to go through with it.”

“Anna, enough.” Philip stepped closer, forcing her to look up at him. “You are right. It had been my intention to go through with the duel. I was the one who suggested it. The consequences of what I had done were clear to me the moment I kissed you. That is not to say I had ever planned to compromise you—I would sooner burn than do anything that puts you in harm’s way again.”

“At least a bullet to the head will be a quicker death.”

Philip ignored her. “The only way I saw fit to redeem you was with a duel, but that does not mean I truly wanted to kill your father. I could do it, but I wouldn’t. I thought about exiling myself abroad, or…” He shrugged. “But that would leave you no better off than before. And I must make right what I can.”

“It isn’t your place to help. You have done enough.”

“No, not enough. That much I realized when your cousin rushed to Charleton a few hours ago and woke my sister from her slumber, banging on the front door like a wild animal. He told her everything that had happened at the Ratleys’, everything I intended to do. And Elinor… I saw the pain in her eyes. And as dangerous as it is to look upon you, I see the same pain in yours too. I cannot bear it.” He looked away. “If I left or died… It was selfish of me to have even considered those alternatives as a solution to our problem.”

Anna thought fondly back to Elinor. She had suffered so much already. Losing a brother would have broken her. She was glad for that reason, and many reasons, that Philip seemed to have reconsidered the duel. A glimmer of hope sparked in her chest. She didn’t dare dream of what other solutions he had come up with.

“You and I have not known one another very long,” Philip continued, lowering his voice further. “And because of this, you might not know that I have never intended to marry. I have known from the outset that I would be a poor husband, that I had no desire for children or the lifelong company of a woman. It has not shocked those around me. The duchy is something I have inherited with scorn and spite, and when I die, it shall be my great pleasure to see it passed on to some distant relative. Marriage had no place in the life I wished to lead. And it still does not.”

Anna nodded, even though her hope had all but died. “Then why are you saying all of this?”

“Because I have been shown that my perception of marriage was flawed. At its core, it is but the legal joining of two people who need to share nothing except a name and confidences. If I were to take a wife, and if it were clear to her what my expectations were from the arrangement, then there would be no requirements for children or companionship.

“We would be free to exist as two separate beings. She would have access to my wealth—I would give it to her freely—and to the protection that comes from being a duchess. And I would be free to continue my life as I have wanted, without the scrutiny of my sister or those around me for remaining single.”

It sounded like legal jargon to Anna, but she thought she understood what he was implying. Had George and Elinor bullied him into this? Asking for her hand in some perverse version of a marriage to save them both?

“You are suggesting… Are you asking me to be your wife?”

“I am saying that it would be an agreeable solution to the situation at hand. You would acquire a husband of rank, understanding meanwhile that his past is not spotless and that he will not give you children or companionship.”

Companionship . He’s using that word so he doesn’t have to say ‘love’.

Her heart panged at the realization. Philip liked Anna enough to desire her, to kiss her, to tolerate her as a wife even—but he would never love her.

“So, yes,” he continued. “I am asking you to be my wife because I believe it is in our best interests. And because if I had to marry any woman, it may as well be you.”

“As a punishment?”

“I beg your pardon?”

A sad, disbelieving smile played on her lips. “You said earlier that you had come here to be punished for your transgressions. So it wouldn’t just be a solution for you. Marrying me would be your just dessert for kissing me earlier.”

Her accusation left him stunned. He said nothing for a while, and Anna debated returning inside and letting fate have her way with them all. She had just escaped one tortuous arrangement with Ashwicken, and now she was being offered another. Her husband would be rich, handsome, and intelligent—and like a trophy on display, she would never be able to touch him or claim him. It would all be just for show.

“You’re reading into my words,” he argued. “My proposal stands, regardless.”

“But it’s not a proposal, is it? I don’t really have a choice. Maybe these are my just desserts for thinking you were—” She stopped herself, recalling everything her mother had said to her earlier about her naiveté. “Should I tell you that I am thankful?”

“If you want,” Philip said coldly.

“Well, actually, I will not.” Anna looked down at her feet, knowing they wouldn’t start running even if she begged them to. “But I will tell you that I have no choice. I suppose my answer must be yes.”

Better the devil you know, after all.