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Mary hugged her father as they stood in the hall, tears filling her eyes. ‘I love you, Papa.’

‘We will only be gone two days, sweetheart.’

The luggage was loaded on to the four carriages that stood outside the house. One for John and Kate, their son and her eldest sisters. Mama and Papa were to travel in the second, with the boys and her youngest sisters. The senior servants were to travel in the third.

The fourth was the hackney carriage Drew sent.

When she released her father, he reached into his pocket for a handkerchief. She accepted it and dabbed at her tears.

‘Are you upset over Lord Farquhar? There will be another man who is right for you.’

She shook her head.

She’d not told them they were wrong about Lord Farquhar because it was easier to let them think her odd behaviour was linked to that. ‘I am being silly, Papa, I know. I’ll miss you, that is all. Robbie and Harry spend months at a time away at college and here I am crying over two days.’

He hugged her firmly again. She pressed her cheek to his shoulder.

What if he despises me when he finds out I lied?

She kissed his cheek as he kissed hers and they separated.

She turned to her mother.

Her mother’s eyes shimmered with tears too. ‘I know you are sad about Lord Farquhar but time will ease the pain, you will see, be patient.’

‘I know.’ Mary blew her nose into her father’s handkerchief.

Her mother’s palms framed Mary’s face. Mary looked down, unable to look her mother in the eye.

‘Sweetheart, one day you will be settled with your own family to care for and you will think this all nonsense.’

Noise came from the stairs, the voices of Mary’s excited younger siblings. Her mother’s hands fell.

The children’s governess appeared at the top of the stairs with a nursery maid who carried Jemima, Mary’s youngest sister.

‘I’m sorry you’re not joining us, Mary.’

Mary turned. John had joined them in the hall.

John had been her hero from her birth, despite his starchiness.

He will be disgusted with me.

Mary embraced him briefly. ‘I’m sure you don’t care a jot whether I am there or not, you have Kate.’

He laughed. ‘But Katherine does not chastise me as much as you do. You keep me grounded.’ A sound lifted his gaze to the top of the stairs and his eyes glowed with admiration. Kate stood there.

Mary prayed Drew would look at her with love like that.

When Kate reached the hall, Mary said goodbye to her and John. Then in a daze she said farewell to her brothers and sisters before they were herded into the street to climb into the carriages. She wished her eldest brothers Robbie and Harry were not boarding at their college so she could say goodbye, especially to Robbie, the next in age to her. Robbie would never forgive her for keeping him in the dark.

Her father offered his arm. She took it, her heartbeat racing.

Outside, it was warm in the sun as she walked down the front steps.

What if John, or her mother and father refused to let her visit when she was married? That awful thought hit her as her foot touched the pavement.

Her fingers closed tightly about her father’s arm as he walked her to the hackney carriage.

The footmen helped her brothers and sisters up into their carriages and John helped Kate with Paul.

What will I do if they never speak to me again?

‘Mary.’ Her father took her hand as they reached the carriage. ‘Are you sure you do not want to come with us? I’m sure Miss Smithfield would not?—’

‘No, Papa, I cannot let her down.’ It had become too easy to lie.

Love shone in his eyes, but it became clouded by the tears in hers.

She hugged him, then rose onto her toes and kissed his cheek, before saying, ‘I will miss you.’

‘And I you, but we shall see you in two days.’

She nodded.

His hand held hers as she climbed the step into the carriage.

She sat down, and both hands held her reticule in her lap. She shook as if the weather were cold not warm. The door lock clicked shut. Her father smiled at her through the window, then called to the driver, ‘Ready!’

This was it.

There was no going back.

She waved as the hackney carriage lurched into motion, the first to depart, leaving them behind.

Her father and mother and her elder sisters waved. Kate and John were looking the wrong way. Then at the last moment John turned and lifted his hand before they all disappeared.

Tears spilled from her eyes. She wiped her eyes with her father’s handkerchief and curled her fingers about it, holding it in a fist.

The horse’s pace picked up to a trot and the carriage turned into a side street. She could hear the strike-strike pattern of its strides.

Her heartbeat thundered as the distance between herself and her family grew.

When the carriage drew to a halt, she knew they were in the St James neighbourhood. She looked through the window. She could not see Drew. The vehicle rocked as the driver climbed down. She clutched at her dress as she prepared to get out. The driver opened the door and kicked down the carriage step.

Where was Drew? What if she was left here alone?

He walked towards the carriage, smiling broadly.

Her stomach flipped, as her heart beat hard for a different reason. She smiled, reaching for his hand to help her down. He did not offer it, instead he braced her waist at either side, and lifted her down. Then gave her a hearty kiss.

Her nervousness erupted as laughter. The tears in her eyes became tears of joy. He was her future.

His hazel eyes danced with emotions as he held the hand which bore her father’s handkerchief and lifted it. ‘You have been crying…’