Page 426 of The Daddy P.I. Casefiles: The Second Collection

I nod. I feel that way, too but sometimes it gets lost in the overwhelming rush of gratitude I feel toward Emily.

“Second,” Mac continues, “it’s not just about love. It’s about respect. We respect each other’s strengths and weaknesses. Bren’s great about feeding me, physical affection, being in my corner. Her communication skills suck balls. I have decent communication skills. I’m pretty good about recognizing her physical needs. I don’t always show physical affection and I’m not great about giving her space. I work on her communication. She reminds me to show physical affection and pushes back when I crowd her. We’re better as a team. Respect. That’s our love language.”

I like that. I make a mental note to mention respect as a love language to Emmy.

“You look better,” Mac grunts. “Healthier. I know it’s not about your cholesterol or recovering from that head injury. It’s overall. You’re in a good place now.”

“I am,” I agree. “I didn’t expect to be. A week ago, my head was in a goddamn shed with everything. Olivia coming. Worrying about how Emmy would adapt. The Nursery opening at Blunts. What the fuck is going on with the house subs. And this bloody job. But it’s coming together. Emmy’s solid and that gives me a foundation for everything. It’s nuts to base so much of my mental well-being on another person. I know that. But everything comes back to her, Mac. Everything revolves around her.”

“You know, before seeing you and Em, I’d have lectured you on the dangers of basing your happiness on another person. You have to be happy in yourself, fulfilled in your job, yadda, yadda. But seeing you with her, understanding what a caregiver relationship is, I get it. Taking care of your little fulfills a need in you that’s never been met before. That’s why you weren’t satisfied with Miranda or any of your previous subs, Lo. You need to be needed.”

“Do you?” I ask.

“Not like you do. But I had a hole in my heart. Wasn’t even an Amy-sized hole. I’d given up on being her Dom a long time ago. It was a failure-sized hole. Maxie mentioned somethin’ he and Myles talked about. About topping our girls being a chance for a do-over, a chance for a clean win. That’s definitely the hole I was toting around.”

“Is your relationship with Bren a do-over?” I ask. Because that makes sense. I knew Mac felt he’d failed Amy.

“Better,” Mac says. “It’s a do-above. It’s a fresh start with better tools, better skills. I can’t regret my failure with Amy because it taught me to be the Dom Bren needs. I wouldn’t be able to handle my DirtyGurl if I hadn’t topped Amy for all those years.”

“She is a challenge,” I say, not envying Mac that challenge at all. She’d drive me crazy.

“Fucking Everest,” Mac says.

I chuckle, remembering Theo saying something similar.

“You know she got that worked into one of her tattoos?” Mac asks. I shake my head. I don’t make close inspection of Brenna’s tattoos. “It’s the one on her thigh, with the barbed wire. She worked a little outline of the Himalayas and my name into the tattoo. She said she wouldn’t overwrite her history but she wanted to show how I’d conquered her.”

“Damn.”

I need to look at the tattoo. And not feel too envious. I have no reason to be. Emily’s wearing one of my brands already. But it’s not my name.

I got the “X” brand custom-made. I bet they could make a “Daddy” brand.

Thinking happy Daddy-brand thoughts, I stretch out on my cot and take my shift of power-napping while Mac cleans up our dinner and goes to poke around with the wizard wand.

When I wake up, Mac tells me he found and disposed of three more mommy cams, including one in the central hallway that leads from the dungeons to the changing rooms, office, and kitchen.

“You’re fucking kidding me,” I grumble. “Joker’s B watched me install all the goddamn cameras?”

“Looks that way. The vent’s in the middle of the hallway. Good view in all directions.”

I rub the bridge of my nose. “I fucked up. I was so focused on Maxie going to England to collect Livvy that I didn’t use him on this job the way I should have. I should have had him sweep the whole building first.”

“That’s neither cost-effective nor in the spec for this job, Lo. Sacrum hired you to install a CCTV system. That’s what they could afford. You went above-and-beyond, the way you always do, to solve their problem. But let’s be clear, you have not failed them. You have not fucked up. You’re taking the world on your shoulders again, son.”

I roll my shoulders to show that I’m not bearing anything on them other than my sweater. “Taking on too much is kind of the job description for a Daddy Dom.”

Mac nods. “Sure is, when it comes to Emmy. But this job is not your little girl. Separate them in your mind.”

He’s right.

“I hate not fixing shit,” I admit.

“I know. It’s what makes you good at your job, good at managing the house subs, and good at being Emmy’s daddy. But there’s a difference between fixing shit and tilting at windmills. You cannot take on the whole world’s problems. Emmy’s your priority. Take on too much when it comes to her. Everything else? Do what you can to fix the shit but accept that you can’t solve the world’s ills.”

I nod. “You’re right.”

“I know I am. I also know it’s going to take more than one of these talks to convince you. Tap me when you’re ready for the next one.”