Page 42 of The Curse of Eternity (Descendants of Helsing #1)

“Myself, included.” A sardonic smirk curved the corners of his mouth, like he tasted bitterness on his tongue.

“It took longer than I would prefer to admit before I understood the truth. That Dracula had perverted our sense of humanity, convinced us that people were cattle for our consumption—pigs we dared not even roll in the mud with. With our abilities to charm, to remove the will of another and impose our own, it became too easy to pretend I was better than my victims.”

A chill seeped into my skin despite the blazing fire, crackling as it caught on another length of dry wood.

I wasn’t stupid enough to think he’d never hurt anyone, not after everything I’d witnessed.

Hell, he hadn’t hesitated to rip apart the werewolves.

Except, he’d only attacked the ones who’d tried to hurt me.

This whole time, I’d been at the center of his violent actions. How long had he lived in peace before walking into my life?

With my thoughts elsewhere, it took a second to realize Drake wasn’t going to continue.

Vulnerable doubt crossed his features, in the pinch of his brow, the uncertainty behind his raven-dark eyes, and the hard set to his jaw.

What he’d revealed could have ruined everything between us. I wouldn’t let it.

“But you changed,” I accused, as sure of it as I was sober.

“Eventually,” he admitted, somber, but honest. “Aiden helped me to find a better way. He assuaged my guilt once I came to terms with how much pain I had inflicted. He has lived many lifetimes more than me, seen worse than I could have dealt, and instructed that the only reparations I could make for my sins would be to continue surviving. Impart some good on the world, until it overshadows the evil.”

“Did it work?” I asked, and again Drake smiled without mirth.

“In a sense. The guilt did ease, as Aiden promised, yet I never felt that I had truly atoned. Not when I aided others, nor when I brought up Winston. A selfish act, really, because he became my reason—my excuse to remain in a world where I no longer belonged. For so long, time has become meaningless. Years blurred into the next, and with every passing day, I wondered why I did not simply end it.”

His impassive tone struck me hard, awakening a twinge of sympathy that felt more like empathy.

Whatever he’d endured under Dracula’s reign, and then in the years after that, must’ve been a cruel existence.

One I couldn’t imagine. I’d always had my family, and even when things got rough, they were my reason to keep going.

Unshed tears blurred my vision, but I blinked them back when Drake noticed. Grateful emotion shone behind his gaze while he swiped his thumb beneath my left eye. His light touch was warm from the fireside, and I exhaled a shaky breath.

“Sorry,” I mumbled, but Drake shook his head.

“Your kindness is beyond anything I deserve, Maria. It is gratifying that you can feel anything for one of my kind. After what you witnessed before the Cneaz?” Morose acceptance whirled behind his eyes, downcast with obvious regret.

“We are monsters, and our monstrous acts are what maintain the illusion that we are above our victims. It is why they congregate in the way they do, and the reason I have been unable to stand being in their presence since before Winston was born.”

“You’re wrong if you think you don’t deserve how I feel about…

you.” The words were out of my mouth before I could think too hard, and I hurried to gloss over my Freudian slip while averting my gaze from Drake’s obvious surprise.

“You’ve saved my life, too many times for me to count at this point.

I wouldn’t be alive right now without you. ”

“Neither would I.”

Thinking I’d misunderstood, I looked up, and my breath caught at the intensity of his unwavering stare.

“For far too long, I have wanted to leave this world. Yearning to discover what might exist beyond, despite fearing how my soul will be judged. Only recently, have I begun to look forward to every new day. And do you wish to know why?” The hint of a smile quirked up the corner of his mouth when I dipped my chin in a nod.

“You, Maria, are where I have found a semblance of redemption—after searching for a century and then some.

“You might believe that I have rescued you from peril, but it was you who spared me from a miserable end. Because if my continued existence could produce one good act before I am gone, then I am glad that it was done for you.” A humorless chuckle passed his lips, and I remembered to breathe while trying to wrap my head around what he’d admitted.

“Even if I have doomed you in the process, I promise to protect you from here on with all that I am.”

“So will I.” My voice came out squeaky, my heart beating so fast it could’ve burst. “Whatever happens after this—I’m not going down without a fight.

And I will fight for you.” The confession sounded so superficial compared to how he’d phrased everything, but my jaw was set, silently daring him to try and convince me not to.

Except, he only smiled, the beauty of it strengthened by the dim light of the fire while shadows danced across his features.

“You ask me why I have done what I have for you, and yet you do not see yourself in this at all, do you?” His question caught me off guard, but he didn’t give me a chance to answer.

“You are a light in my abyss, guiding me toward hope that my legacy can leave behind more than bloodshed.

In all my time, I have never been capable of carrying the weight that you do.

Your understanding of right and wrong, led by a steadfast moral compass.

Your strength enlightens, inspires, and it is because of this—despite my better judgment, knowing that I should not want you—that I have inadvertently made you sacrifice all that you hold dear.

“The truth, love…” he whispered, his palm caressing my jaw as I leaned in closer to hear. “The truth is that I fell in love with you long before I remembered what it had felt like to do so.”

Time must have stopped, because for one endless moment, all I felt was peace.

Then it shattered, replaced by my overflowing heart and every thought in my head urging me closer to the man that had become my salvation.

I leaned in, and grinned like an idiot, even when I caught myself on the hem of my sweatshirt.

Drake placed one hand on my shoulder to steady me while the other held the nape of my neck, his fingers threading through my knotted hair. Any semblance of uncertainty between us was forgotten when he didn’t hesitate to press his soft lips against mine.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer as I straddled his lap.

The ends of his hair were still damp under my fingertips, the strands soft beneath my caress.

His hold on my shoulder relaxed, drifting lower to sweep down my spine.

Sensations followed his path, pinpricks of need growing stronger in the wake of his gentle touch.

A moan climbed my throat, exhaled against his mouth as I pulled away just enough to shrug out of the jacket that suddenly felt too warm.

Unspent passion reflected in his heavily-lidded eyes when I met his gaze.

Drake licked his lips as his hand drifted over my hip, rising up my waist with tentative patience.

My head tilted aside as he leaned in, his needless breath brushing my throat as his hold over my ribs tensed, tugging me closer.

A chill tip-toed up my spine, and I shuddered as Drake’s bloodlust surged over me.

Damn, that never felt so fucking good . Heat pulsed to life below my navel, and I nearly purred when my tangled hair was pulled taut as his grip tightened.

“Keep going,” I mumbled, my voice thready with want.

“Are you certain?” he whispered against my neck, and my ears warmed from the decadently rich tenor of his accent. There was only one more thing I needed to say, and I dipped my chin to capture his gaze.

“I’m in love with you, too,” I murmured, and my heart thrummed when the despair that lingered behind his eyes vanished. A small smile curved up the corner of my mouth. “And if you want this, then I want you. More than I’ve ever wanted anyone in my life. But if you don’t—”

Drake cut off my rambling with a kiss, and my shoulders relaxed. Venom had bloomed in his mouth, tasting sweet on my tongue. When he withdrew, mere millimeters separating us, his pupils contracted against the firelight before expanding to reflect mine.

“Oh, love,” Drake breathed the words, and my chest heaved. Pressing into his as he caught a stray curl before tucking the strands behind my ear. His palm touched my jaw as he stared into my eyes, and I could’ve lost myself in the depths of his. “Never have I craved anyone more.”

I inhaled a moment before his mouth returned to mine.

His intent was clear as he leaned into me, cradling the back of my head with one hand while the other supported my back as I reclined.

My shoulders touched the thin scraps of cloth laid over the stone floor, and our kiss hastened in time with my rasping breaths.

Cool fingers dipped below the waistline of my sweatpants, and then he grasped my hips before lifting my ass high enough to pull the material down.

Goosebumps rose along my bare thighs, and Drake’s mouth abruptly abandoned mine so he could drag the sweats over my knees.

Next he unlaced my boots, his hands a blur before tossing both my shoes and borrowed sweatpants aside.

I sat up, hauling my sweatshirt off in one fluid movement.

There hadn’t been any spare bras at Winston’s.