Page 20 of The Crimson Lily

I’m no longer writhing; these are convulsions. He finally removes his jeans, sliding them along his thighs and the rest of his legs. He takes off his shirt in a flurry, and before my gaze can linger on his firm muscles, he comes knocking at my door.

I look down for a brief moment, and roll my eyes back up. I press my eyelids shut because I have no idea what I’m doing here. How will it feel? Will it hurt? I can’t even remember that.

“I’ll stop if you ask me to,” Maksim declares, responding to the anxious way I’m suddenly acting.

“No, no, no, just…?start slow, please,” I request.

He raises an eyebrow. “You’re not a virgin,” he sneers, but more of a confused sneer. He seems to wonder why I’m in such distress since this is far from my first time.

I chuckle. I can’t believe we’re having this conversation right now.

I decide I’d better take this situation into my own hands.

I latch on to his neck and pull him down.

I make it clear that I want control. He lets himself roll to the side and leads me on top of him, letting me do as I please.

For a brief moment, I admire how toned his body is.

I explore the little black hairs on his chest, touch the bare skin of his abdominal muscles.

I catch little bumps here and there. I feel him ache for more.

I have him. Right here and now, I know I have Maksim.

My entire body stiffens. I have to clench my jaw; my legs are shaking.

I feel something. In a blinding flash, I remember all the reasons why, in my previous life, I always was the one to lead.

The rider, the driver, the one in control.

That’s because I never felt anything, and if I felt nothing anyway, it was the better option for me to lead the march.

But this time, I feel something. Actually, I feel more than I can handle.

I am shivering. His hands make their way to my body, and I have to grip his wrists to conquer what I’m feeling, to overcome. He groans. I’m going slow at first. I sense his glare fixated on me, and his groan magnifies into a growl. His grip becomes stronger. His hands become talons clutching prey.

He’s lost patience and flips me over. He leaves me no choice and carries me to a place where I’ll lose my mind.

I feel pain. True, crystallizing pain. You’d never expect it to be so…?delicious. How screwed up am I? It echoes in my blood like a strident melody of agony. I’m going to erupt, for sure. I can’t take it. It’s too much. Way too much. Maksim has to stop.

He releases me. My legs are trembling. I am quivering.

He carefully examines me to check if I’m okay.

“You need to learn to handle it, Liliana,” he says with a smirk, his eyes bouncing between me and himself.

I blush, panting, recovering. Maksim crawls closer to me, kisses my neck softly, then covers me with his body.

He goes much slower this time. I can finally see his eyes, his beautiful blue eyes, looking deeply into mine, searching for something even deeper than my soul.

His pace slows even more. His grip loosens.

I feel him inside me, clearer, giving me gentle strokes that my body relishes.

I kiss him and he kisses me back, tenderly, his breathing calm and steady.

My breath increases with his pace. I’m no longer feeling pain. It’s all pure and absolute pleasure. I sink my nails into the skin of his back. His grunts match my moans, and with one last breath, I let myself slip into a torrent of ecstasy.

I shut my eyes, purse my lips until I bit into them. This insurgent wave bursts inside me and spreads through my veins, my muscles, my nerves, my bones.

I totally lose control. A final explosion of energy spreads from my heart to my fingertips. My eyes snap wide open, and I scream. I am blinded by the light in the room. I see colors I’ve never seen before.

I’m still shivering when Maksim climbs off me and lands by my side.

He pulls me into his strong arms. I remain there, my face in the crook of his chest, for a little while.

Before sinking into sleep, I steal a soft kiss from him, a silent caress of my lips against his.

He looks surprised, possibly because he thought I was already asleep, but he returns my kiss with his luscious lips.

I don’t want him to leave. I want to ask him, beg him to stay with me, close to me, for the night.

I’m afraid, honestly dead afraid, to wake up in the darkness alone again.

There’s no one I trust, nowhere I feel safe besides here, in the cage of his arms. He holds me close.

Nothing makes sense around me. Everything is a piece of a twisted puzzle, and I’ve lost the box.

I can’t trust anyone. And I really can’t trust him.

In New York, this man came close to torturing me.

One order, and he would have. But tonight, he’s holding me in his arms to tame the nightmares.

I’ve never felt so safe. Right now, he is the only certain thing in my life.