Page 37 of The County Line (Whitewood Creek Farm #2)

Her question hits me like a punch I didn’t see coming. It’s the last thing I expected her to ask right now, and maybe it’s because she’s so vulnerable and fragile that I’m questioning all my reasons for holding back in making her mine the way she’s always felt like she is.?

It’s the kind of question I’ve sidestepped for weeks, maybe years, by shifting conversations or brushing her off with half-smiles and half-truths.

But now, with her so close and too open, there’s no escape.

No shield strong enough to deflect the way her voice just cracked—or the fear buried underneath it.

I clear my throat, stalling, but the lump that’s lodged there now won’t budge.

She doesn’t even look at me as she hands me the mug of peppermint tea that she’s been sipping from, her gaze locked somewhere on the rushing creek in front of us.

I take it, sip slowly, trying to buy myself some time to think, then pass it back to her.

She presses the mug back to her lips and sighs softly. “I know it probably seems insensitive that I’m asking you that right now. I mean, we just buried my brother who was also your friend.”

I shake my head. “There’s no right way to behave right now. I just…I wasn’t expecting you to ask me that,” I admit.

She finally glances my way, her eyes clouded with something that looks too much like doubt and insecurity for a beautiful, complicated woman like her.

“Well, I’m in a reflective mood, I guess,” she says softly, curling her fingers tighter around the mug.

“And I’m tired of wondering why you keep saying you won’t.

” Her breath wavers as she hesitates, and I feel the shift coming before she says the next words.

“Am I… not enough? Is there something wrong with me?” Her voice cracks on the question.

My chest tightens, but she pushes forward, her words tumbling out like she’s been holding them back for too long.

“Is it because I’m divorced? Are you… are you not that attracted to me?

Will you always just see me as—” She stops, swallowing hard, but the tears are already thick in her voice.

I pull her closer to my side, desperate to ground her before she spirals, desperate to fix this because that’s simply not the fucking case at all.

“Maverick’s little sister from the wrong side of town?

The one who always needed saving and brought you trouble? ” she finishes, barely above a whisper.

Fuck, is that what she thinks?

“Molly…” I growl, my voice low.

“No.” She shrugs my arm off her shoulder, slides out from beneath the umbrella, and stands to step into the light rain.

Now that she’s standing, looking down at me, I rise too—attempting to match her focus, trying to meet her where she’s at. Raindrops cling to her soft skin, catching the light as they slide down her bare arms, making her glow like something untouchable.

“I actually like you, Colt,” she says, voice clear but trembling at the edges. “Like, a lot. And I’m not embarrassed to admit that. But sometimes it feels like you’re embarrassed of me. And it makes me feel…”—she trails off, searching—“I don’t know. Yucky?”

A weak laugh escapes her lips as she drags her hands down the front of my chest, overly theatrical but still breaking my heart.

“I never thought I’d be good enough for a guy like you so when I met my ex-husband, I fell for him way too hard, way too fast. I swore I wouldn’t fall for another beautiful man with smooth words and a pretty face after my ex-husband.

And yet, here you are.” Her hands sweep up and down my frame again.

“Beautiful. Smooth. And working your way into my heart.”

She pauses, swallowing hard. “Actually, I think you’ve always been in there, which only makes this worse if you don’t feel the same because I also know there’s more to you.

You’re not just a beautiful man with beautiful, empty words.

You’re a protector, a great friend with so many beautiful layers to you beyond the surface. ”

Her teeth catch on her bottom lip, and she stares past me like making eye contact might break her open. I want to stop her, to say something—anything—but I can tell she needs to get it all out. So, I wait while I think of all the ways that I can show her she’s always been more for me too.

“I think I’ve always liked you, or loved you, I’m not sure.

Like you’ve always made me feel safe. You’ve been this powerful, warm guy even as a kid and I’ve been this kind of broken, dirty and fumbling through life girl.

I think I gravitate towards handsome men who make me feel safe because they remind me of my father, and what he couldn’t give me.

I’ve always been seeking refuge, trying to fill a void that he left in making me feel so exposed.

That’s what has me doubting everything about our…

whatever this is. Because I think you actually mean what you say but something’s holding you back. ”

She takes a deep breath, and I decide I’ve heard enough of her doubting herself. I hate that I’ve made her feel that way and I hate even more what I need to say next.

“Molly.” I step toward her. “Are you finished?”

She nods, a little hesitant, her wide blue eyes locked on mine. I move in closer—close enough to feel the rise and fall of her chest, the tension radiating off her like static. She looks wrecked. Wounded and unsure.

Today took a toll on both of us, but the pain in her eyes—raw and unfiltered—hits different. And if she can be brave enough to lay it all bare, then the least I can do is try to be vulnerable. Even if I’m just a broken, emotionally stunted ex-con who doesn’t always know what the hell he’s doing.

I take a deep breath. “I’ve always liked you too,” I say, my voice lower now, more certain.

“Back when we were in high school, I knew I couldn’t go there because of Maverick and maybe it took me a while to realize that shouldn’t have stopped me.

” I wrap my hand around her hip and pull her flush against me.

The rapid beat of her heart can be felt through her thin dress, and I hold her like that for a moment while I think.

“I’ve made you feel safe because… you are safe with me. I’ve protected you because you’ve always felt like mine. I’ve cared about you, Molly, for years. And that’s not something that’s ever going to change.”

She nods slowly, eyes shining as if she’s hanging on to every word. Willing me to keep going.

“The reason I won’t have sex with you has nothing to do with my attraction towards you. I’m sure it’s obvious, I find everything about you,” I brush a lock of her damp, dark hair off her shoulder and admire how sweet she smells, “completely intoxicating.”

She draws in a breath, her eyes focused on mine. “Then what is it?”

I sigh, lowering my head to press a kiss to the curve of her neck I’d just exposed. “It’s because you deserve better than me. More than I can offer.”

“Oh, fuck that ,” she snaps, stepping back so fast it startles me.

My eyebrows shoot up. Molly swears, sure—but never like that , and never at me . The fire in her eyes says I’ve just pushed her past her limit for bull shit for the day.

“This is such a classic line,” she spits, voice sharp with betrayal.

“‘ You deserve better.’ ” She practically hurls the words back at me.

“Who made you the expert on what I deserve? Why do you think I can’t figure that out for myself?

I’m twenty-eight years old and I’m divorced.

You don’t think I know what I deserve by now? ”

She paces, hands fisting at her sides.

“You’re the only person I talk to, if you haven’t noticed, since I moved back.

I’ve barely seen Regan. I rarely hang out with Lydia outside of work.

You’ve been there for me through ninety percent of my memories with Maverick—and you were there today when we buried him.

You’ve been my anchor without even realizing it.

And I know you’ll still be here while I keep figuring out how to breathe through this grief because that’s what you do.

You’re the guy who’s dependable. The one who is always there when someone needs a friend. ”

She takes a step toward me now, her voice cracking as tears shimmer in her eyes. “Despite losing a decade together… you’ve somehow been the only constant in my life, Colt. My only family.”

“Molly…” I shake my head, my own frustration building as I drag a hand down my face.

“You don’t understand the depths of what I’ve been through.

The ways that I’ve been broken and the things that I saw behind bars.

I’m emotionally stunted. Numb. I’ve been in therapy for five weeks and the only thing I’ve started to feel is anger—rage—and that’s only because of the shit with Jenni, Maverick, and your father. ”

My voice softens, and I take a step toward her. “Listen to me, please . Do you see how bad that is? That I’m a grown man with little to give to the people around me? The only time I feel something besides rage is when I’m with you. And do you know what that means?”

“What?” she asks as I step closer until my hands are holding hers again.

“It means that I might be using you as a crutch. A guide to getting back to my emotions. I don’t want to use you, Molly.

Can’t you see that? Your friendship, our relationship, it means everything to me.

You’re the only person I care about. The only person I think about.

And I don’t want to use you. You mean too much to me. You don’t deserve that.”

She sucks in a breath. “I don’t… I don’t understand,” she says.

My hands move up her arm and back to her hair where I tug gently.

It’s always been the most beautiful hair I’ve ever seen on a woman.

Healthy, thick, and I like that she’s never worn it short.

I imagine what it’d be like to wrap it around my wrist and pull on it while I take her from behind.

I wonder what she’d look like stretched around my cock when she comes.

My fingers trail down her cheek then to her chin, cupping it gently as I hold her there, studying her eyes.

I know what I want to tell her, that I need her in my life.

That I can’t breathe without her. That since I got back, she’s been the only person I’ve looked forward to seeing.

That I’ve opened up to her in more ways than I ever could with my family.

That when I’m with her, I know what I’m feeling is love.

“I mean that I want you to help me feel everything, Molly. I want to feel the red-hot burn of desire in my chest. I want to feel the white simmer of attraction. I want to feel the black, bottomless pull of love. I want to feel it all—with you. ” I pause, the fear clawing its way up my throat.

“But what if I can’t? What if I’m too emotionally blunted?

What if I disappoint you? This isn’t just sex for you—there has to be an emotional and mental connection for a relationship to thrive.

Something that goes beyond the physical.

And what if I can’t give that back to you? ”

The air between us is charged with energy.

Slick droplets of water fall down my neck and back cooling the heat of my skin.

My fingers itch to hold her and kiss her but I hold back.

Her arms come around me, gentle fingers brushing the back of my neck as she pulls me closer until our bodies are pressed together.

“Colt,” she whispers, her voice soft but steady. “Don’t you see? You’vealwaysbeen connected to me emotionally. You’ve supported me in ways no one else ever has. You did it earlier today with Maverick. You’re doing it right now. ”

She presses her forehead to mine, tears sparkling in her eyes.

“I’m not scared of you falling short, because you’ve already given me more than I ever thought I could have.”

“Molly…”

“Kiss me, Colt. Dammit. Please,” she begs. Her blue eyes are locked on mine, shining with heartbreak and hope, and even though fear still grips my chest, I know I want this just as badly as she does.

I lower my head, dragging my nose from her ear across the silk of her cheek, stopping just above her lips. I can feel the warmth of her breath. Her fingers curl tighter behind my neck, her nails scraping just enough to make me shiver.

“Fuck it,” I growl, the last fraying edges of my control snapping all at once as my lips seal over hers.