Page 44 of The CEO I Hate (The Lockhart Brothers #1)

LIAM

“ W hat the hell are you doing here?” I demanded, my hand curling around the doorknob so tightly my knuckles blanched.

Gabrielle didn’t answer. She looked right past me and locked eyes with Jake. “Baby, I’m sorry,” she said, her voice choked with emotion. “I’m so, so sorry. Please, can we just…Can we talk?”

I wasn’t sure which part I hated more. The fact that she’d showed up here or the apology she was trying to sell. “You can take your sorry,” I spat, “and shove it right up your?—”

“Liam,” Jake said, cutting me off. His tone wasn’t harsh, but it was firm. “Let her in.”

I turned to stare at him, eyes wide, my jaw dropping. “You can’t be serious. After the way she just?—”

“Look, man,” Jake said, wheeling over. His face was blank, calm; his voice controlled. Far more controlled than I felt. “I appreciate you looking out for me, but this is a conversation Gabrielle and I need to have. Why don’t you head out and I’ll call you later? ”

I wanted to say no. I wanted to demand that she leave.

Jake needed to be protected from her because she was the one who’d hurt him so badly.

But did I have any right to say that considering what I’d done to Mia?

Probably not. Still…Jake was finally pulling his life back together, and Gabrielle had the power to upend all his progress.

I didn’t like this.

I didn’t like that Gabrielle had turned up, expecting Jake to be here, waiting for her.

And I hated that Jake was . He didn’t need to be toyed with again. But the look in his eyes showed a quiet kind of acceptance I didn’t know how to parse. The vulnerability made me hesitate, made my grip loosen on the doorknob. “You’re serious?”

“I am.”

Reluctantly, I nodded, even as a knot tightened in my gut. “Fine then. Call me later,” I said, eyeing Gabrielle suspiciously as I let myself out.

Ash padded to the door behind me but didn’t follow.

I turned back, expecting him to fall in step like always, but he didn’t.

He just sat there, watching me leave. I opened my mouth to call him, then closed it again.

“Guess you’ve made your choice,” I murmured, voice too low for anyone else to hear. Ash didn’t move.

And this time, I left alone.

It was the next morning when Jake finally called me. I was on a private jet leaving Van Nuys Airport, headed to San Francisco to have lunch and catch up with my mother .

“Well?” I asked, pausing my email mid-sentence and reclining back into the leather seat. “What shitty excuse did she have?”

“No excuse,” Jake said. “Just an honest apology and an explanation of how she’s been feeling for these past few months. You know, with everything going on, I just never bothered to ask her. I just assumed .”

Frustration surged through me. Why the hell did it sound like Jake was about to take responsibility for the fact Gabrielle had dumped him ?

“This wasn’t your fault,” I said, wanting more than anything to be the support he needed. “You weren’t the one to call it quits.”

Jake sighed. “Maybe not, but I also didn’t leave her with much of an option.”

“Don’t do that,” I said. “Don’t take the blame.”

“There were two people in our relationship, and we both made mistakes,” he said. “Blaming everything on Gabrielle wouldn’t be fair. We both know I was in a bad place, and whenever she tried to pull me out of it, I ended up dragging her down with me instead.”

I hesitated, not sure what to say. Even I had to admit there was truth to that. Jake had been going through a rough patch. But that’s when he’d needed her most and she’d bailed. “What does this mean?” I asked. “Are you getting back together?”

“I’m not sure,” Jake admitted. “But it means a lot that she was willing to show up and put herself out there. I’m open to giving it a try. I think we can do better this time.” A pause. Then, “Ash helped.”

I blinked. “Ash?”

“Yeah. I don’t know, man. He was just there. Every time I felt like falling apart, he’d shove his head under my hand like, ‘Not today, buddy.’ Made it harder to spiral, I guess. ”

I stared out the jet window, heart tight.

“He’s been good company,” Jake added.

I nodded slowly, still staring out the window. I got it. Somehow, Ash made things easier. Lighter. But that didn’t mean everything else would be. After all, why was Jake setting himself up for pain that way? Wouldn’t it just end in the same disaster, but with Jake’s heart even more battered?

“You’re finally getting back on your feet,” I said, my tone pleading as I tried to get him to see sense.

“Without the relationship there to distract you, you’ve been making serious strides.

Working toward your fire inspector license and doing all your PT.

If you opt to give the relationship another shot and she”— uses your heart as a chew toy again —“lets you down another time, it could really set you back.”

“You’re right,” Jake said. “But even if it’s a lot, I think Gabrielle’s worth that.”

“Or you’re just inviting in problems that might end up distracting you from more important things.”

“What could possibly be more important than loving someone and having them love me back?” Jake pointed out.

I didn’t have an answer to that.

The flight was about an hour and a half, so by the time I wrapped up my call with Jake, the jet was landing at San Francisco International Airport.

I disembarked, climbed into the car Carl had arranged for me, and made my way across the city to meet my mother at Dolce Vita, her favorite Italian place.

She couldn’t get enough of their mushroom risotto and after the way I’d flubbed the anniversary dinner, I wanted to make it up to her.

I walked in, spotting her across the restaurant at our table. The one the Lockharts always occupied. The owners of Dolce Vita had become good friends over the years and always made sure to have the table available when we wanted to dine in.

“Hey, Mom,” I said, walking up and pecking her on the cheek. She beamed up at me, seemingly in a good mood. Cathleen Lockhart looked younger than her years, her eyes bright blue, her hair still that strawberry blond from her youth, though now threaded through with gray.

When I was younger, I used to look into the mirror, wondering which features I’d inherited from the deadbeat dad who’d abandoned us. I used to hate thinking that any part of me belonged to that man.

Did I have his nose? His eyebrows? The square shape of his jaw? My brown hair and hazel eyes certainly hadn't come from her. I’d mostly outgrown that worry now, but I was still grateful for all the little ways in which I looked like my mother.

“How’s it going?”

“Good,” she said. I sat down, shed my suit jacket, and we ordered drinks. “Met with my adviser to discuss my dissertation research this morning.”

History wasn’t my jam, but it still impressed me that Mom had gone back to finish her PhD after all these years. Hard work clearly ran in our genes. “Everything okay?”

“He had some really positive things to say about my paper,” she said brightly. “I’m doing a round of revisions now.”

“That’s great. Glad things seem to be going well on that front.”

She sipped her water. “Oh, Connor tells me you’ve been busy shaking things up at work? Something about new policies.”

I nodded, clearing my throat. “There was an…incident recently.” I wasn’t about to speak about Mia’s experience without her approval, but in hindsight, it hadn’t taken me long to realize how poorly I’d handled that situation with her and Damien.

I’d let my own fear get the better of me, worried that I’d failed to protect her and the rest of my staff from that creep.

And because my fears had taken over, I’d panicked.

Instead of supporting her in that moment, I’d ended up pushing her feelings aside.

I couldn’t go back and undo the way I’d reacted, but I could damn well make sure the proper policies were in place to ensure nothing like that ever happened again at VeriTV Studios.

“I’ve updated a bunch of our old harassment policies and implemented a series of new measures to hopefully improve the working experience at the studio. ”

My mother’s eyes widened. “It’s wonderful to hear you’re taking that so seriously.”

“It was something I should have done a long time ago,” I admitted.

And it was something I would be more aware of in the future.

Along with my team, we’d overhauled the anti-harassment policies and implemented regular, mandatory training for all employees effective immediately, along with establishing confidential reporting mechanisms.

I never wanted anyone to feel like they couldn’t speak up—the way I’d made Mia feel.

I’d screwed up. I knew that. And I wasn’t about to let that happen twice. I wanted VeriTV to be a place where everyone felt safe when they came to work, knowing that we had zero tolerance for that kind of behavior.

“I’m proud of you, sweetheart.”

I shook my head. I didn’t want her praise. “I should have done better by my employees.” I should have done better by Mia. “And I’m going to make sure I do that in the future.”

“That’s all any of us can try to do. Be better than we were.”

I nodded, the words hitting hard as I steered the conversation back to her. “And how are other things going?” I asked gently .

“You can say therapy, Liam.” She smiled softly. “It’s not a bad word. And to answer your question, that’s also been going well. I’m feeling…settled.” She reached out and squeezed my hand.

I nodded. “You should know I still feel horrible about bailing on dinner the other night.”

“I know,” she insisted. “And it’s okay. I’m still standing. Still trucking along.”

It was nice to hear…but that didn’t mean I believed it. My default was to expect Mom to fall apart. That said, I had to admit, she looked great. “How’s your drawing class going?”

“You know, I’m not sure I’m an artist,” she laughed. “But I’ve enjoyed learning how terrible I really am. Tennis with the ladies has been wonderful though.”

The more she talked, the more it sounded like her turmoil on the night of the anniversary really had only been a hiccup. The fact that those kinds of things no longer derailed her entire life for weeks at a time…Well, it sounded like Mom had her stuff together more than I did.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” she asked.

“What?”

“You’ve got that pinched look you get when you’re thinking too hard.”

I frowned down at our hands, looking for the words. “I just…I’m happy you’re happy, Mom. Really. I guess I still struggle to see how you could be this happy when you’ve been sad and struggled for so long.”

A light laugh. “I feel like you discount how useful therapy is.”

“I don’t discount it. But how can just talking to someone change the past? ”

“It’s not about changing the past. It’s about coming to terms with it and figuring out what kind of life you want to have going forward,” she replied.

“At the beginning, we really focused on helping me develop better coping mechanisms,” she noted.

“But things truly changed when my therapist got me to realize I had to let go of my fear.”

“Your fear?”

She nodded. “For a long time, I was afraid to stop loving your father. I was sure I’d never know a love like the one I’d felt for him ever again, and even though it was hurting me, I wasn’t ready to let it go.

It seems silly, but there was a part of me that thought if I let myself stop being sad about it, I’d forget what it had been like back when things were still good between us.

But clinging to that past didn’t bring me any closer to the happiness I’d once known.

And finally, with a lot of inner work and professional help, I learned how to let that go. ”

“That’s…” I sighed.

“Maybe I’m not the only one who has to learn to let go,” she said, looking at me pointedly.

I snorted. “I’m not hanging on to Dad. Trust me. That guy is barely a blip in my memories.”

“I don’t mean your father,” Mom said. “I mean letting go of your own fear.”

“What fear?”

“Of not being enough, sweetheart.”

I scowled at that. I wanted to tell her she was wrong. But the words I’d said to Mia resurfaced in my mind. I didn’t know how to fix her…I couldn’t figure out why us loving her wasn’t enough to make up for the fact that Dad was gone .

Mom was right. I’d spent my whole life feeling like I wasn’t enough. And to make up for it, I spent my days figuring out how to prove my worth by fixing every problem I came across.

“Connor told me what happened with Mia,” Mom admitted, giving me a sad little smile.

“I don’t want to talk about that.”

Mom’s smile thinned. “Well, I think you should. Because it sounds to me like you let her walk out of your life because you were afraid.”

“She chose to walk out,” I argued.

“But did you ask her to stay?” Mom said. “Did you try to make things right?”

I swallowed hard. No. I’d made so many mistakes.

“Honey, you’ll only ever actually be enough for someone when you stop being afraid of falling short. You don’t have to have all the answers to everything, Liam. You don’t have to be able to fix things. You just have to be willing to try. To listen. To let other people in. That’s what love is.”

I didn’t know what to say. In trying to fix everything, I could see now that I’d put Mia last on my list of priorities when she should have been first all along. I’d taken her for granted. I didn’t even know if that was fixable. She hadn’t trusted me before—why the hell would she trust me now?

“What if it’s too late for me and Mia?” I said, my voice barely above a whisper. “What if she doesn’t want this anymore?”

Mom’s eyes softened as she looked at me. “You need to take a leap of faith,” she said gently. “It’s not easy, but if you love her, you have to believe that the two of you can work this out. If she’s who you really want?— ”

“She is,” I said, cutting her off, the weight of the words hitting me harder than expected. Of course she’s who I want ! I’d just been afraid to admit it to myself.

“Then you have to show her how much you care about her,” Mom said, giving me a knowing look. “It’s the only way you’ll be able to find the happiness you deserve.”

I nodded even as the fear of being too late thrummed in my blood.

What if I was a risk Mia couldn’t take again?

My thoughts turned to Jake and his relationship.

Here he was, taking ownership of his mistakes, but still opening his heart to the possibility of something new with Gabrielle.

He’d been scared too. I’d seen it in his eyes yesterday.

But he’d talked to her. He’d taken the leap.

And that’s exactly what I had to do now.

I needed to stop letting my fears control me and show Mia I was willing to fight for her.

For us.