Page 54 of The Cattleman’s Unforgettable Love: Ford and Amelia (MacFarland Ranch #11)

Amelia stood in the doorway to the great room and braced herself before she spoke.

She kept telling herself that things would get easier.

Hunter and Nat had only been here for a couple of days, but if something didn't give soon, she didn't know what she was going to do.

Hunter was the sweetest little guy, but Natalie – Nat – was still frosty toward her, to say the least. The girl looked up when she sensed Amelia standing there and cocked her head as if challenging her to speak.

Amelia stood a little straighter and said, "Uncle Ford will be back soon. Do you guys want to go and wash up before dinner?"

Hunter looked up from the laptop he was working on.

It was an old one of Amelia's that she'd given him, and she was starting to wonder if that had been a bad idea.

She could totally relate to the way the boy wanted to spend all his time on there, but it wasn't doing him any good in terms of settling into life at the ranch.

He was such a sweet and easygoing little guy that even though it was obvious he would rather continue whatever he was doing, he smiled and said, "Okay, Auntie Amelia," before closing the laptop.

He got to his feet and looked at his sister. "Come on, Nat."

"You go on up," she told him. "I'll be right there."

After he'd gone, Amelia met Nat's gaze, sensing a storm brewing. "What is it?" she asked.

Nat shrugged. "Are you going to let me go to school? Or is this really like Alcatraz?"

Amelia's shoulders sagged. "I told you from the beginning, if you want to go, I'll take you up to school and we'll register you. You were the one who said that if Hunter's going to homeschool, then you'd do the same. Nobody's holding you prisoner here."

Nat rolled her eyes. "There might not be bars on the doors and windows, but there's no escape, is there?"

Amelia went to sit on the sofa, on the opposite end from her. "Where do you want to escape to, Nat?"

"I'm Natalie."

"I thought you preferred to be called Nat."

"Only by people who are like... by people who love me."

Amelia met her gaze and held it. "I love you."

"Yeah, right," said Nat.

"I do," said Amelia. "I know this is hard for you. I understand why you'd hate me. If it's any consolation, I hate myself too for what's happened. The hardest thing I ever did was step back from your dad. I'm not trying to make excuses, but I tried so hard for so long to help him."

"Then why did you stop if you loved him so much?"

Amelia closed her eyes. "Because I had to face the fact that nothing I did was helping him."

"What did you do?"

Amelia stared at her for a long moment.

"See, you didn't do anything really, did you? You just didn't want a druggie –"

"Stop! I wanted nothing more than to see your dad get his life back on track – and your mom. I didn't know her well, but I liked her."

"But you can't even tell me one thing you did to help."

Amelia sighed. "Because I don't want to tell you any of what I had to do. I don't want you to know how bad things really were."

Nat glared at her. "You think I don't know?

I was only five when Dad died, but I remember him.

" Her eyes filled with tears. "He was awesome.

.. sometimes. When he wasn't using, he was fun and kind and happy.

But the rest of the time..." She shrugged.

"He and Mom were out of it a lot of the time.

We lived in shitholes. The neighbors were scary, even back then, I remember – and it only got worse afterward when Mom was by herself.

" She looked away before turning back to meet Amelia's gaze.

"So, don't think you can tell me anything that's going to surprise me or make me think less of him just because he upset your perfect little world by asking you to borrow money or something. "

Amelia let out a short, bitter laugh. "He didn't ask to borrow money, Natalie. He stole it. He broke into my house. He cost me my job on one occasion. I took him to rehab more times than I can count, and every time he checked himself back out. You know how much you love Hunter?"

Natalie nodded slowly.

"Then maybe you have some idea of how much I loved your dad.

He was my big brother, and until things went so wrong, he was my hero.

I would have done anything in the world to help him get clean and get his life back.

" She swiped angrily at a tear that escaped and rolled down her cheek.

"I only gave up when I finally understood that there was nothing I could do – that my attempts to help him were only enabling him.

" She got to her feet. "But you're going to see it the way you see it, and I respect that.

I'm not trying to change your mind. I just want you to know the truth.

I loved your dad. I didn't really know your mom, but if I'd known about the two of you, I would have done everything I could. "

Tears shone in Natalie's eyes, pain mixed with anger in her expression. "Like Mom said, you would have taken us away from her."

Amelia closed her eyes briefly before opening them again. "I wouldn't have wanted to do that. I would have tried to get her help."

"Yeah, and help would have meant having us taken away from her. We just would have ended up in care sooner, right?"

"Wrong," said Amelia. "If I'd known about you – the two of you – I would never have let you go into care.

I would have brought you to live with me, just like I have now that I know about you.

" She sat up a little straighter. "And I know it's hard, and I know you hate it, and I know you hate me.

But you know what? This is the hand we've been dealt.

For my part, I'm going to try to make the most of it.

Hunter seems happy here, and if you want to give it a try, I think you can be, too. "

Nat stared at her for a long moment, and when she finally spoke, her answer gave Amelia at least a little hope when she said, "It's not like I have any other choice, is it?"

"Not that I can see," said Amelia. "And listen, I understand the way you feel.

But I need you to at least be civil. I'm trying my best here.

If there are things you want me to do differently, then say so.

I'd like for us to work together. But if you don't want to do that, I get it.

But we're going to have to find some kind of compromise to make this life work for all of us. "

When she finished, she half expected Nat to yell at her and was surprised when she didn't. Eventually, the girl got to her feet and said, "I'll go and wash up now. Do you need any help with dinner?"

"I think it's all done, thanks. But if you want to fix whatever you and Hunter want to drink, that'd be great."

Nat gave her a curt nod. "I'm not doing it for you. But you're right – Hunter's on edge all the time."

"Thank you," said Amelia. "And do you really want to see about registering for school?"

Nat pursed her lips. "Not really, no. But I think Hunter should go. I don't think homeschooling is the best idea for him. He needs to be around other kids – even if they are cow kids – and if he's going to go to school, I need to be there, too."

Amelia nodded slowly. "You're right," she said eventually. "It would do him good to be around other children, wouldn't it?"

"Yeah," said Nat. "Otherwise, he might turn into a nerdy little hermit."

"You mean like me?" Amelia asked with a smile.

Nat smirked. "I didn't say that."

"You didn't need to."

Nat started to leave, but stopped to turn back when she reached the door. Amelia's heart broke for her when she asked, her voice barely more than a whisper, "Do you have any photos of him – my dad? I don't know what happened to Mom's things when she died."

"I do," said Amelia. "I even have a couple of your mom. Do you want to look at them later?"

As Nat stared at her, Amelia realized her mistake. The girl would no doubt want to look at them in private. "I'll tell you what. I'll email them to you."

"Thanks," said Nat. "And thanks for giving us both laptops like that. Hunter's never had his own before." She made a face. "Neither have I, but that doesn't matter – I don’t need one in the way he does."

"It does matter," Amelia told her. "You deserve to be taken care of just as much as he does. And now you have people who want to do that." She gave the girl a small smile. "I know that doesn't mean much to you, coming from me. But there's Ford, too."

At least that brought a smile to Nat's face. "Yeah. Anyway, I'll be back to fix the drinks... I'll get soda for Hunter and me. Will you and Ford want some?"

Amelia smiled. "As long as you don't plan to put laxatives or something in mine."

Nat chuckled. "I wouldn't have thought of that, but now..." She grinned. "Nah, you're good."

With that, she turned and left the room, and Amelia sagged back against the cushions, realizing as she did that she was sitting in Ford's spot – even when he wasn't around, it seemed that she instinctively sought his support.

~ ~ ~

"Hey, Anita," Ford greeted the manager at the lodge, who was standing behind the front desk.

"Hey, Ford. How's it going?"

He nodded rather than give a more specific answer. He couldn't exactly say that things were going great – but they weren't terrible, and they seemed to be getting a little better every day.

Anita smiled. "I imagine it's complicated."

He chuckled. "Yeah, that's probably the right word."

"Well, I won't hold you up. Wade and Tanner are already in the office waiting for you."

"Thanks, Anita. It's good to see you."

"You too."