Page 27

The Chill of the Thrill.

L ace, satin, silk, and other materials lay before me, sprawled out on the large round surface of the table in the dining room. The skin around my nails stings as I pick at it, tearing the thin paper-like skin, careful not to draw blood.

It’s not about security or power. For me, it’s never been either of those things. I lived in the States like a ghost. No one knew who I was, and I preferred it that way. Now, my signature on those papers changes everything about my future and what I thought it might look like. All that’s left for me to do is accept it.

How can I when all I want is someone I can’t be with?

“Miss Nera, this one would look great as the base,” Olga says softly, picking up the ivory lace and laying it on top of the satin material. She arrived yesterday, at Frances’s command, to help with preparations for the wedding. I want to hate her but her kind nature and understanding words have only brought us closer.

Scrunching my nose, I pick up both fabrics between my fingers. “Seems a little excessive.” My eyes fall to the pure white silk on the table. “Maybe we go for something a little less…over-stated?”

She catches my gaze and smiles, picking up the material and laying a small part of it over my shoulder.

“What style are you thinking?”

Anything. I don’t care. I don’t want to marry him.

“I haven’t decided yet.”

My phone vibrates in my pocket, and I’m surprised it has reception. It’s usually in and out because the signal is constantly choppy on the island. I expect it to be from Elodie, but I stare at Rafael’s name on the screen. Hesitant to open it, my finger hovers over the message and with one tap, my heartbeat soars.

Rafael

Meet me where I first tasted you.

Shoving it back into my pocket, I consider his words, afraid that if I do meet him, it might set a precedent. I’ve never experienced something like what I have with Rafael before. It’s like this energy surrounding me, lifting me, pushing me toward something unknown. It’s terrifying and exhilarating all at the same time. It’s not fair to me or to him to want this. It’s shameful to even think about wanting it when both my brothers are locked up.

But I do want it.

I want it to be him that I walk down the aisle to. I want him to be the one kissing me, touching me… fucking me. I want it all to be him and nobody else.

“ Bella , what do you think?” Olga’s words pull me out of my thoughts and I nod. I didn’t hear a word she said, but I’m sure whatever it was, it relates to my betrothal to Frances, and that I do not care about. I’m not sure I want to pursue a revenge tactic or scheme because with the power he holds, he would smell it coming from a mile away and kill everyone I love without blinking.

A loose cannon like him cannot be underestimated.

My phone vibrates again, but I don’t want to check it because the more I think about Rafael, the easier it will be for me to give in to him. My hand betrays my thoughts as I stare at another message.

Rafael

Wear that black dress.

I do my best to hide the smile on my face as I turn to face the door. Olga tidies things up in the dining room, and I head upstairs to get changed into his favourite outfit. When I reach my closet, all I see is the same box he left for me before the revelry. Opening it, I hold the shoes in my hands.

I don’t regret what I did.

Whether he deserved it or not, our fates do not meet at the end. That I know.

I shake my head and put them back into the box then rest my back on the wall as I stare at my phone beside me.

Picking it up, I type out a message.

Me

Let’s not keep hurting each other.

The three dots appear as he types, then disappear and reappear again, my heart skipping along with the dots.

Rafael

Those that try to keep me away from you will be the only ones who end up hurt, Principessa.

Me

Just let it go, Raf. It’s done.

Rafael

It’ll never be done, not when I still breathe the same air as you.

Me

I’m tired.

Rafael

Stop making up excuses as to why you think it won’t work. Meet me and I’ll show you exactly why you’re wrong.

I think about it longer than I should because I already know I’m going to meet him. I shouldn’t. I should fight it because if Frances were to catch us, he would turn Falcon’s Keep upside down and we’d all be buried beneath it.

The dress is like a soft hug, hanging over my hips and dropping to just above the curve of my lower back. I know why he likes it. He thinks it makes me look fearless and unstoppable, but he couldn’t be further from the truth. I’m none of those things.

Slipping my shoes on, I curse myself for giving in because I know how badly it can end.

No, how it will end.

I’m lost in my thoughts as I leave the manor, careful to make sure I’m not being followed as the day turns into night. When I make it to the building, the gates are open, almost inviting as they rest upon the brick building. I take a deep breath and straighten my dress as I step in through the double doors. I take in the room, a silver table in the middle, freezer drawers on the left, and medical equipment lined up on a tray at the back. Its instantly cooler in here, the temperature raising the hairs on the back of my neck.

“Raf?”

The wind rustles the trees outside and I jump as the door thuds closed, strong arms curling around my chest, and cool steel pressing against my throat.

“You thought I wouldn’t find out?” His breathing is ragged as he presses the front of my thighs against the steel table, jolting the locked wheels from the force.

“W––”

“Shhh…” Leather clamps over my mouth as I struggle beneath his hold. The sting of the steel on my neck turns into a burn as warmth trickles down between my breasts. He forces his thickness against the curve of my back, pushing me down onto the cool steel table.

Terrified, my thoughts become a haze as I lock my fingers around the table.

“Tell me, Principessa …”

Instantly, with the use of his favourite pet name for me, my body relaxes.

“Do you really not have any faith in me?”

A yellow envelope thumps onto the table next to my face and I know why he’s angry.

“Let me explain.”

He whirls me around, the steel of his eyes wild and filled with rage. “Explain how you signed your life and your body to someone like him !?”

“I had to,” I whisper, the reminder of every detail listed in the contract seared into my brain.

“ Fanculo! ” His fists come down hard beside my face, rattling the table and my chest thumps wildly out of control. “I’ll kill him.”

“No.” I revel in the prickly texture of his beard as I run my fingers through the hair. “You need to stay out of it.”

“How can you ask this of me?”

“The same way you want to save me from it.”

“Nera…” His cross dangles in front of me, and I grab hold of it to pull him closer.

“You know there’s not much you can do. So just let it go.”

“ Perché ? Because you’ve started to get a taste of his life?”

His words sting, the venom in them threading through every inch of me he’s previously kissed. I shove him off with all my might and he stumbles, shifting from one leg to another.

He’s been drinking.

Fury burns inside me as I take a step toward him.

“He has Nino and Santi!” I yell, hoping my words make it through to him. “If I don’t marry him, my brothers are dead!”

He shakes his head and stares at the floor, unwilling to believe anything I’m saying.

“I’ll get them back.”

“How!? We have no one to back us. Not the Casellas, not the Brayfords…The fucking Guerras are now with them, too. Who do we have left, Raf!?”

His jaw tics, knowing I’m right. When my father died, so did all our ties. My brother tried to make things right, to reach out and make alliances, but no one wanted to work with him because of who our father was.

“Don’t stand there and pretend you can make this right or save me from anything because no one can. No one but me.”

His hand curls around my throat, ramming me back down onto the table.

“You don’t get to decide who your body belongs to, Principessa. ” His hold tightens, the blood rushing through to my eyes as I claw at his hand. “You gave that to me when you let me fuck you over your father’s tomb.”

When he loosens his hold, I choke on air as I pull it into my lungs, my vision pulsing as I work to regain composure. The skin around my wrist prickles as something is fastened around it, then the other follows before he’s standing at my feet, separating them and fastening them to the table.

“If you’re so adamant on marrying him, let me show you that you’re a liar.”

I pull at the restraints, and they don’t budge in the slightest. “Untie me.”

He pulls out a large hunting knife, the black steel glinting in the harsh light of the room and I swallow at the sharp tip now running along my skin, up my thigh, and into my G-string. He severs the material, leaving me bare.

“Don’t do this,” I warn.

“Why?”

I rest my head on the table, my hands in fists as the cool metal slips through my middle, building a cold sweat on my skin.

“Because you’re afraid you’ll enjoy more depravity?”

The coldness of the knife disappears, and when I look up, I should feel fear, but instead, it’s curiosity as I stare at him with a revolver in his hand. He opens the chamber, the bullets clattering to the ground as he places one back in and flicks it closed.

I purse my lips as he gently traces the barrel over the inside of my leg. “I’ll make you admit it, Principessa …even if you don’t want to.”

“Untie me.”

A smirk plays at the corner of his lips as he leans into me, the tip of the revolver dangerously close to my core. “Your mouth says one thing, but your body begs for another.”

I yelp as my dress is yanked open, my chest spilling out. A hot flush overcomes me as his mouth closes over my nipple, his tongue twirling and sucking. His teeth graze my skin, raising the hairs on my arms as he reaches my neck. My eyes bulge when the barrel fills my vision beside his face.

“Open.”

When I hesitate, he pries my mouth open, stuffing the barrel inside and cocking the gun. Tears brim my eyes as terror builds inside me.

“Suck.”

The sharp and bitter taste of the metal is all I can think about when the light touch of his hand trails down my body and in between my legs. My muscles tighten in anticipation of his next move as he slips his finger inside me.

“Do you need reminding of how to suck?” He forces the gun deeper into my throat and I gag, the tears spilling down my face.

I suck the cold barrel and work the gun in my throat.

“ Brava ragazza .” He chuckles when I whimper, slipping in another finger as my arousal smothers his fingers.

“That’s it…” he purrs as I continue to suck. “Make it nice and wet, ready for your desperate pussy.”

His fingers are buried inside me, his knuckles working to massage the perfect spot. My hips move on their own, my body pleading for more of his touch.

My saliva drips over my chin and down my neck as he pushes further, the sounds of my choking echo through the room. Removing the piece, he waits for me to regain my breath as he inspects the gun, now glistening in the light.

I feel the loss immediately when he removes his fingers, but it’s not for long.

“Now take a deep breath,” he commands and I follow. The cool metal fills me up as I moan, expelling the air out of my lungs. “Tell me you’re going to marry me.”

I catch his stare—possessive, obsessed, and out of his mind.

“No?”

The gun clicks, sending a jolt through my entire system, and I yelp, the restraints tightening around my wrists at the rush.

“What the fuck!?” I breathe.

“Don’t make me repeat myself.”

“Who are you?”

“A man who will never let someone else have what’s mine.”

His words should terrify me. I can feel the intensity vibrating off him and through me as the gun clicks again, sending my mind into a tornado of spiralling thoughts. But all the thoughts are of him.

“Only four left, Principessa. ”

“You’d kill me?” I ask, needing a reason for his madness as I fight the urge to rock my hips against the piece inside me.

“I’d follow you to the grave, Nera.” He smiles, gripping my hair at the top of my head, his bourbon-filled breath strong and sweet. “Having you now isn’t enough. I need to know you’ll be mine.”

“What then? We sail off into the sunset?”

The chamber of the gun enters me as he pushes deeper, stealing my breath.

“No. You’re going to promise me you’re mine, then you’re going to come all over my gun…” He kisses the tears gliding down my cheek. “Then, I’m going to shove this gun so far down Frances’s throat so he gets a taste of you before I pull the trigger. His last thought will be that he’s never going to have you. You hear me?”

I can’t focus on his words. My nipples harden as he works the gun inside me, the hardness of the pistol creating a deep hum within my body.

“No one can keep me from you. Not your brother, or the unforgiving waves crashing onto the shores of Falcon’s Keep, and certainly not death.”

I give in to everything—the moment, the heat, the possessiveness—and rock my hips into the gun, moaning with pleasure as his hand curls around my neck. I want to say everything he’s asking of me, to tell him I don’t want anyone else and that he already owns my heart and soul. But how can I tell him this and marry someone else?

“Please,” I pant, unsure if I’m begging for him to give me more or to stop asking me to tell him I’ll be his.

“I won’t stop, Nera.”

I rock my hips again and again, chasing the sweet release I’m desperately craving at the hands of the one person I’ve come to love.

It’s twisted.

All of it.

One thing is certain. A heart that loves is a heart that bleeds, and mine is bleeding out for him.