Page 41

Where was my upper limit for fear? Every time I thought there was no way I could feel more absolute, crushing terror, something new happened to prove me wrong. When I saw Dima’s face as his eyes honed in the bomb, everything went haywire in my brain.

And now he was honestly asking why I went back for him?

I couldn’t answer through the torrent of tears. I felt like crap for slapping him, but my hand acted on its own. My nerves were raw, still not certain we were both really okay. Smoke filled my nose, and the air seemed ten degrees hotter than normal.

Oh my God, the house—what was left of it—was on fire. Flames licked toward the sky, now thick with a dark haze. More sobs ripped from my throat. Had he really tried to stay in there and defuse the bomb to save the house?

He knew I loved that house, but it was just wood and concrete. It was the memories we made there that made it anything more than a pretty mansion. And what would I do with those memories if I was wracked with eternal guilt because he’d died in order to try to keep me happy?

Dima leaned back to wipe the tears from my face, but it was like attempting to stanch a waterfall. New anger welled up in me, and I grabbed his arms and gave him a hard shake. It didn’t budge him at all, and it was then that I noticed all the cuts and scorch marks he suffered from shielding me.

My mind went blank, and I hauled back to hit him again, starting up a new round of sobs. He grabbed my wrist before it made contact with his scratched cheek and smiled.

He actually smiled.

“You care about me,” he said.

“Of course I do,” I choked out, going limp as he held me tight. “Of course, I wasn’t about to let you die after I already put you through so much.” I buried my face in his chest, trying to come to my senses, but it was too late. It all came spilling out before I could stop it. “Of course I love you.”

His hands stilled from where they’d been rubbing up and down my back. My crying cut off abruptly in anticipation, waiting for his reaction. He leaned back, keeping a firm grip on me so I wouldn’t disintegrate, and looked me in the eyes.

“Have you ever doubted I feel the same?”

I couldn’t look away even though my cheeks burned, and it had nothing to do with the wall of heat coming off the remains of the house. “I think you’d do anything for a friend in need.”

He took a deep breath, coughing as the smoke hit his lungs, but undeterred in his focus on me. “I’d do a lot for a friend in need,” he clarified. “Or even someone I was attracted to. And even though both of those things were true before our marriage, I wouldn’t do all this for a mere friend. Damn it, Olivia, I love you.”

I didn’t need the slight tightening of his hands on my shoulders or the intense heat in his eyes to understand he meant it. I could feel it radiating off of him and enveloping me. I tipped back my chin and closed my eyes, waiting for him to kiss me.

“The house,” he said, close to my mouth.

The heat, the crackling behind us. The house was still on fire.

“Oh my God, the jungle.” I jumped up, swaying on rubbery legs.

Dima grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the car. The windshield was cracked, and what looked like a piece of window frame was jammed into the back bumper. Dima ripped it away and tossed it before jumping into the driver’s seat. I slammed in next to him and he handed me his phone while revving the engine.

“Call the emergency number and anyone in town that’s in my contacts and alert them,” he said. “We’ve got to get help up here before the whole mountain is on fire.”

We sped toward town at a rate that had me clinging to my seatbelt, but nothing could scare me now that Dima loved me.

Or could it? He still didn’t know the whole truth. I’d not only gone willingly with Rurik’s sister, but I’d been manipulating her into believing the worst about him when I still thought she was Zoey. The whole thing was my stupid plan, and it had risked not just my own life but also that of his and Ivan’s.

“You shouldn’t have rushed in there not knowing how many people he had with him,” I said, on the verge of crying again. I could have lost him if Rurik’s men were quicker on the draw. I could still lose him when he knew everything. “I didn’t even know those guys were in the next room.”

“I’m sure you would have warned me sooner if you did,” he said, keeping his eyes straight ahead.

Was he sure? Or was he already suspecting me? He’d asked if I had been trying to run right before the house exploded. Right as we hit the outskirts of town, an old fire engine sped past us, followed by several trucks loaded down with water tanks and equipment.

Dima and I both sagged with relief at the sight. I hoped they weren’t too late to keep the fire from damaging too many trees, but I had already given up on anything being left of the house. It hardly mattered where we lived if we stayed together. If he decided my betrayal was too much for him, it didn’t matter at all.

“Are we going to follow them back?” I asked as he continued on into town.

He shook his head. “We’ll just be in the way. Let the experts do their job. You look worn out.”

The last bit of adrenaline drained out of me, and I let my head hit the back of the seat, closing my eyes and trying not to think at all. A few minutes later, the car stopped. He had pulled into the courtyard of the tiny motel that Ivan was staying at. I followed Dima in as he asked if there was space for us. News had already spread about the fire, and the kind owner had prepared the very last available room for us, apologizing for the small size.

“You should have the best suite, but there’s a festival this weekend and for once I am full. I could kick your brother out?”

Dima laughed. “We’re grateful for anything you’ve got. And even though I don’t think Ivan will need his room for a little while, I doubt he’d want all his belongings on the sidewalk, either.”

I was surprised and pleased through my fog of exhaustion that I understood almost everything Dima and the innkeeper said. My Spanish had improved by leaps and bounds in the time I’d been cramming in order to escape. Was I so happy about it because now I wanted to stay here?

If only…

Outside the room, Dima paused before putting the key in the lock. He placed his hands gently on my shoulders and leaned down so his face was an inch from mine.

“Dima,” I said, uncertain. “I do love you.” He had to believe that, if nothing else. But would it be enough? “I—”

He stopped me with a kiss so tender my heart ached. I wanted more of this, and I wanted it forever. My hands slid up his chest to clasp behind his neck, dragging him closer.

“We’ll talk later. Right now, I need to make sure you’re all right after everything.”

“Me?” I yelped, stepping back to point out the various marks on his arms and face. “What about you? I’m only okay because you jumped on me and took the brunt of the debris.”

“That’s my job, isn’t it? Keeping you safe?”

“Is it just a job?” I asked, my stomach twisting in a knot.

His hand snaked behind my head to grip the back of my neck and pull me close again. “If this is a perk.”

His mouth was on mine, and this time, his kiss was ravenous. I stepped closer, digging my fingers into his shirt, parting my lips, and sighing as his tongue met mine. We were still outside our room, and I ran my hand down his arm to tug on the key.

With a soft chuckle, he broke away to unlock the door so that we could tumble in and continue what we started. He was right. Talk later. I wanted him at least once more. I could ignore the fact it might be the last.

He snapped on the light, his face falling at the sight of the room that was little more than a closet with a double bed wedged in. I giggled, and it turned into a full-on laugh as I followed him in and tugged the door shut behind us.

“What’s funny?” he asked, his hand moving to pull me close again.

“It looks like you’re finally going to have me in a bed,” I said, thinking back to every other place we’d jumped on each other in such passion.

I jumped on him then, my mouth colliding with his as he joined in my laughter. We fell onto the surprisingly soft mattress, and I held on, never wanting to let go as his mouth claimed mine and his tongue slid between my lips. We were alone. Safe and together.

Didn’t matter if it was the last time. Or maybe it did. I had to make it count, if this was going to be my final memory of him.

“Are you okay? Are you too tired? When was the last time you ate?” he asked, trailing careful kisses down my bruised throat that had me shivering with anticipation.

Ten minutes ago, I was about to fall asleep in the car. Now, I was bursting with energy and only starving for more of him. “Don’t you dare stop,” I said. “And don’t even think about making this quick.”

He answered with a low rumble as he kept kissing his way down to the edge of my sundress. With one deft hand, he undid the buttons, while his other hand moved lower to slide down my side. I arched my back and wrapped my leg around him, needing to be closer. Needing his heat and his hardness and, especially, what his mouth was doing to me.

My bra was unclasped, and he licked each nipple, making me moan as they rose to tight peaks under his onslaught. His hand roamed back up to cup one breast and tease me with his thumb while he suckled the other. I tugged at his hair, pushing his head lower.

“I love that,” I gasped. “But I need…”

He pushed himself up to smile down at me. “Tell me how much you want me to eat your hot little pussy.”

“You know that’s what I want,” I said. “Do you think I won’t beg?”

“I’d love to hear my woman beg me to taste her. You think I’m not dying to lap up your juices? But I’m having fun with your perfect tits, and I thought you didn’t want me to rush?”

“How can you think clearly enough to win an argument at a time like this?” I asked, full of frustration. I just wanted more, damn it. All of him at once.

He chuckled and licked my nipple again, teasing his tongue in a slow circle around it. “Are we arguing? And if so, do you give up?”

My hands tightened in his hair to pull his head back to look at me. He grinned at the ferocity in my eyes as I wriggled out from under him. “We’ll see who’s begging in a minute or two.”

I got up on my knees and shoved him onto his back, pretending it was my own strength and tenacity that had him rolling over and not the fact that he was going along with what I wanted to do. And oh, did I want to do it. I couldn’t wait. Once he was on his back, I shoved his shirt up to run my palms over his smooth skin, feeling the hard muscles of his abs tighten at my touch.

His eyes closed as his head rested on the pillow, and I took in every cut and scrape and burn he’d taken to keep me from having so much as a scratch. They only made him more beautiful somehow, maybe the selflessness of it. I dropped my gaze to his hard chest, rising and falling with barely concealed anticipation as I moved my hands lower.

He was so damn gorgeous, like an angel and devil wrapped up in one perfect man and finding the perfect balance to become Dima. My Dima, for as long as I could keep him. Pushing aside the heart rending thought that this might be my first and last time to do this, I ran my fingers under the waistband of his jeans.

A low moan rose from his throat and I flattened my palm against the thick bulge threatening to break free from the rough denim fabric.

“I want you so much,” I whispered, barely above a breath.

“You have me,” he answered, reaching to pull me down for a kiss.

I let his mouth savor mine, but only for a second. This was my time to be in charge. I broke away and began kissing my way down his chest, licking his nipple to tease him as I continued to my target. The button on his jeans had me fumbling, but I swatted his helpful hands away.

“Be still,” I ordered, then laughed at how brazen I’d become.

“Anything you say, Liv,” he told me, closing his eyes and clasping his hands together behind his head.

His pet name had me even more eager to get to my prize, and I yanked the zipper down. He lifted his hips as I shoved his jeans and boxer briefs down, and my moan broke the silence when his big cock swung free.

I could only stare at it for a second, standing straight up from his chiseled body, and all mine. For now, every inch of him was mine. Was this how he felt when he plunged between my thighs, knowing he was about to bring me to the highest heights with his ownership?

Leaning close, I breathed along the length of him, his body stiffening as his cock bounced against my parted lips. At the tip, I licked away the salty bead of moisture, losing myself in the taste of him, the feral growl that rolled from his throat.

Mine.

I took him deep in my mouth, dragging my teeth along the silky skin, barely noticing that his hands had tangled in my hair. The hungry ache in my core grew as I sucked and licked, and with a ferocious sound, Dima’s hands were on my hips, dragging me away from his cock to lift my body. I yelped as I was twisted around, my knees planted on either side of his shoulders and my hands on the sides of his hips. His cock throbbed, and I had him between my lips once more, just as his tongue slid inside me and up to circle my clit.

I pushed back against his mouth as I drew him deeper into mine. My arms shook as he drove me mercilessly over the edge, lapping at every inch of me. I shuddered as he gripped my hips, pulling me closer to his face. I couldn’t hold on. My mouth slid away from his cock, and I dropped my forehead to his thigh as tremors ran through me.

He was still going, never letting up. The walls in the motel had to be paper thin, but a scream was rising in me with every thrust of Dima’s masterful tongue. I bit down on his flesh, then smashed my face into the blanket to muffle the sounds I couldn’t hold back.

And he kept going until I begged for him to stop, then begged for more. He slowed his movements, easing my body until I was in a heap beside him, then he flipped me back around so that our faces were inches apart. I grasped his shoulders, my arms and legs still shaking from the earth-shattering orgasm he’d given me.

“So, who was begging?” he asked.

My mouth dropped open, too stunned with pleasure to say a word. He kissed me deeply, the tastes of each other mingling. Within seconds I was rocking my hips against him, sliding my body down his to get the feel of his cock where I had to have it.

“At least pretend you need this,” I said, rubbing my slick folds against his shaft.

He groaned, holding tight to my arms as I straddled him. “Oh, Liv, you have no idea how damn much I need you. Now, please get that pussy wrapped around my cock.”

Maybe that wasn’t exactly the kind of begging I’d been doing, but I didn’t need to be asked twice. As he held onto my hips to help me rise up, I slammed back down, taking every inch of him deep inside me.

I rode him fast and hard, whipping my hair around to hit him in the face. He laughed and grabbed a handful, pulling me down to kiss me as hungrily as if our mouths hadn’t met in a year instead of a minute. I took as much as I gave, running my hands up and down his chest and over his shoulders.

Trying to memorize him.

“Dima,” I said. Just because I wanted to while he was still mine.

“Olivia,” he answered.

My gaze flew to his face at the serious tone of his voice. His eyes were intense, midnight blue, and locked with mine. I wanted to believe what I saw there, but could only try to let him know what was in my own heart as he grabbed on tight to my hips and took over our rhythm.

He told me he loved me, but that was before he knew the truth.

“Don’t think,” he said, as if reading my thoughts. “Just feel.”

His fingers slipped from my hip, gliding down to wedge between where our bodies slapped together.

“Come for me, Liv,” he said softly, but no less commanding.

He circled my clit as he drove deep, his hips rising to fill and stretch me. He growled out a low roar, and I dropped my head to his chest to muffle my own scream. His heart thudded beneath my cheek as I let the pleasure course through me. By the time I came down, his arms were wrapped around me, holding me close. I slid to his side, my eyes drifting shut as he settled me next to him, snuggling me close.

I shivered, but not from being cold. All my senses were still alive. Just the sound of his panting breaths beside me had me clinging onto him. He ran his fingers up and down my arms, soothing me until I was able to fully relax. Then I melted like the tide rolling up over the sand and went completely limp.

Dima tugged the blanket that was wadded up beneath us, finally giving up and picking me up to pull them down. Once we were tucked in and propped up as best we could be on the meager assortment of pillows, he rolled to his side, lifted up on his elbow, his eyes unreadable.

It seemed like it was time to talk.

I lowered my face, but he put his finger under my chin to raise it. “I asked you a question at the house. I need the answer.” There was so much pain in his eyes that I considered lying, just to save him anymore.

But he’d see through it. He knew me too well.

With a sigh, I tried to explain. “I was so angry. I couldn’t see past it. I never felt so stupid in my life when I realized you were just trying to keep me safe, but at the time, it seemed like you were controlling me. That because you bought me, I was nothing more than a possession.”

He closed his eyes and breathed out. “When I say you’re mine, it’s not that at all.” He put my hand on his chest, his heart beating beneath my palm. “I mean that you’re here. That you’re no different than me. No, you’re more important than me, because I don’t think I can go on without you. So, I have to know if you still want to leave.”

I shook my head. “I’m afraid you won’t believe me. Before I knew that Zoey, or whatever her name really is, was tricking me, I was tricking her into believing awful things about you. Things I never even believed were true. I wanted my freedom, honor my mother’s wishes, and…”

“What?” he asked, not looking as furious as I thought he should. “What else?”

“And to pretend I wasn’t falling for you, or that maybe I was secretly glad you forced me to marry you all along. I couldn’t handle that, but oh my God, Dima, I liked you so much before all this.”

“I liked you too. Didn’t I already tell you if things hadn’t gone so badly with your father, I was going to find a way to ask you out, even if it meant Max would kick my ass?”

I sniffled, liking the sound of that. Dating Dima would have been amazing. Could we get back to a place like that?

“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I understand if you can’t forgive me for betraying you and if you don’t believe me now.”

“Why would you lie now?” he asked earnestly, glossing over the betrayal bit.

“I’m not. I have no reason to since I know you’d see through it anyway. But I get it seems awfully convenient that I suddenly realize I love you when my life’s at stake.”

“You know, I realized I wanted to buy an apartment in London when my life was at stake once,” he said.

My jaw dropped, and he laughed, tapping my chin to shut it.

“I’m just saying we sometimes see the truth in desperate situations. I enjoy London, and didn’t get to visit enough, so I bought the flat, and now I go at least twice a year. I think you’ll enjoy it, too.”

“You mean, because you’ll take me? You forgive me?”

He shrugged. “Yes, of course, I’ll be taking my wife on my vacations. And there’s nothing to forgive. I was a bit heavy-handed in the beginning, I can admit that.”

“A bit?”

He nipped at my lower lip, dragging it into his mouth for a long kiss. “A lot,” he said, his breath warm against my cheek. “I’m sorry, too. But you’re mine. And this is real. Really real, now.”

I was almost floating with relief that he wasn’t furious enough to kick me to the curb, but I came crashing down at those words.

“No, it isn’t, not yet,” I said, holding up my hand to stop any bossy arguments or decrees. “My father is still missing, so that’s a problem. And if I’m not going to be able to fulfill my mother’s last wish not to marry into the Bratva, then I want to be able to fulfill another one of her wishes.”

“What’s that? Anything and I’ll make it happen, because I think—”

I stopped him. “She wanted me to have a huge, lavish wedding surrounded by family and friends,” I said, waiting to see if this would be the straw that broke the camel’s back.

“That’s all? That’ll be easy, and we’ve got the family part covered. And stop worrying about your father; he can’t hide forever. Finding him is at the top of my priority list, along with bringing the Kuzmins to their knees.”

I involuntarily shivered at the name, and he pulled me close, wrapping the covers around both of us.

“That might be harder than you think,” I said. “I don’t doubt you, but how much does he hate you to keep his sister hidden for eight years like that? Was he just biding his time until she could be useful? That’s about as low as you can get.”

I almost felt sorry for her, but then remembered every disgusting thing Rurik had threatened me with. She had brought me to him. They could both rot.

“That’s something else you don’t need to worry about, or about your mother’s last wish,” he said. I nodded, trying to let go of the disappointment that I couldn’t grant it, not and still be happy, anyway. “All that work I’ve been doing here is to start a new resort. It’s going to be huge, and I think it’ll really take off. That and some of my other legit businesses should keep us in a pretty comfortable life.”

“What are you saying?” I asked, sitting up to stare at him.

“I’m going to ease back on the family business. You don’t have to be married to a mafia boss anymore.”

I was stunned at his announcement that he was willing to give up so much for me. And still so mad at my close call with being Rurik’s prisoner and my so-called friend’s betrayal that I found myself shaking my head.

“No way. No way in hell. I can see now that the normal life I wanted was never going to be enough. What you do is in my blood, too. The Kuzmins are my enemy now, and I want to take Rurik down every bit as much as you do. Him and all the other people who try to rise up against you.”

“Us,” he corrected as he tugged me back down. “You’re a Fokin, too. If you consider yourself one of us.”

“Damn right I do,” I said, swelling with happiness at the delight on his face. “That’s who I’m married to, so of course I am.”

“No more running away?” he asked.

I answered him with a kiss that had us both heating up and shoving aside the blankets.

No more running away. I was right where I belonged, next to the man I was always meant to be with.