Page 105 of The Boy I Loved

What the hell was wrong with me?

Was I that much of a whore that I’d get off to a rapist slash murderer? That I’d beg him to keep fucking me, even when I knew what he was capable of?

My shoulders rolled forward and I tucked my chin against my chest, curling into a ball. The first tear to fall stung my cheek and made me wince. But after the first one, more quickly followed.

“Hazel.” He sighed, a twinge of regret in his tone. But the damage was already done. “Look at me.”

“Are you even allowed to be in here?”

His thumb brushed over the skin of my waist, eliciting an unwanted shiver. I didn’t want to feel anything for him anymore, but I couldn’t stop caring no matter how hard I tried.

“Nothing will ever stop me from getting to you, my sweet butterfly.” His hand drifted upwards, his fingers toying with my breast. Even though I was dressed, the clothing did very little to deflect the heat of his touch.

“You just killed one of the only friends I have here,” I reminded him, hating how normal the words felt rolling off my tongue. “And now … you want something from me?”

He hummed in response, unfazed by what I’d just said. “I can do whatever I want to you, remember?”

I gritted my teeth.

Since being kidnapped from the comfort of my own home, Dominic had been distant. In fact, he barely caused any trouble. But something in him snapped, and now he was acting just likethem. Maybe this was who he was all along.

You could only hide your roots for so long before the confines snapped, and you were faced with the destruction of your own actions.

“Do what you want. I can’t stop you.”

He blew out an exasperated breath, moving his hand to my hip again and jerking me backwards. I rolled onto my back, my brown hair flying over my face with the sudden movement.

Dominic brushed the strands out of the way, peering down at me with haunted eyes. “I’m not going to force myself on you,” he told me, thumbing my lower lip with the pad of his finger. “I respect you too much for that.”

My heart swelled at his words, but I tamped it down as quickly as it had happened. He respected me but not the other girls he’d assaulted? He was raised better than to treat women the way he did. I was being torn between what was wrong and what was right. Everything I once believed was blurring, leading me astray.

If Clay had never gotten his hooks in Dominic, what would have happened then? Was he always destined to become this … this inhumane creature lying beside me, or would he have returned to the old him?

“I know what you’re thinking,” he continued when I didn’t respond.

I seriously doubted that.

“Stacy was going to be killed either way,” he explained. “If Tristan or Vincent had gotten ahold of her before I did, it would have been a hell of a lot more brutal.”

I scoffed. “Do you hear yourself right now?”

In what world was it okay to kill somebody without cause? Even if she would have died at the hands of someone else, did he truly believe that his actions were justifiable because he killed her quickly? I wasn’t sure I knew Dominic at all anymore.

“I’d never hurt you,” he added, like that was what I was thinking. It wasn’t. I cared less about myself than the girls being tortured and murdered around me.

I turned my head, taking a good look at him. Dark ink swirled around his neck, trickling down both arms. His black hair, combined with the new tattoos and devilish gleam in his eye, made him look much darker and unhinged. Was it bad that I thought he looked even sexier this way?

“Tell me you believe me,” he murmured, running his thumb over the curve of my jaw.

“I do. But it doesn’t make me feel any better.”

His eyebrows pinched in confusion as if he couldn’t process why it wouldn’t. After a few moments of silent contemplation, his brows smoothed back out with realization. “At least you still have that part of yourself,” he concluded.

This time it was my turn to be confused. “What?”

“You’ve always been empathetic, Hazel. But you can’t be that way in a place like this.”

I opened my mouth to tell him to go shove it, that I didn’t need his goddamn concern. But the door opened before I could get the words out. My entire body locked up, fear weaving a web through my chest. If Tristan found me lying with Dominic like this, I wasn’t sure what he’d do. Especially with the news about me choosing Mason was still so fresh.