Page 19

19

ASHER

I sit on a blanket on the beach as the chilly wind surrounds me. The fire I built roars to life, the air causing the hot flames to blaze through the dry wood faster than I expected. Luckily, I gathered enough supplies to last me through the bottle of whiskey I’ve been nursing since the sun set an hour ago. I shake my head as “When a Man Loves a Woman” starts playing on my phone, the familiar tune pulling me deeper into my thoughts.

Drinking alone while the waves crash in the distance while listening to music from a different time refreshes my soul. I can’t deny that memories of Billie occupy my mind like a stubborn shadow. This feud between us is fueled by a mix of annoyance and admiration, and it’s hard to untangle one from the other.

Lifting the bottle to my lips, I take several gulps. It goes down smooth, like water on a hot day, and I can feel the warmth spreading through me.

The stars are out, even if the glow from the city still lingers behind me. Being here is an escape for me, a sanctuary where I hid for months after Eden tragically passed away. When I’m lost, I always find my true self here.

A chill travels over my skin, and I pull my hoodie tighter over my baseball hat to cover my ears. I’m barefoot, still in shorts, completely unguarded. Alone.

I let out a deep breath, and when I look up from the flames, I notice a figure walking toward me. My eyes stay locked until they move closer, and I’m convinced I’m imagining things. I’ve drunk so much that I’m starting to hallucinate, believing Billie’s really here. I have it so fucking bad.

“Didn’t expect to see the angel of death tonight,” I say, trying to keep my voice light, but the weight of my words lingers in the air.

Billie stands across the fire, the flames casting a warm glow around her, like a halo. I stare up at her, the whiskey still tight in my grip, as my heart pounds in my chest.

I might be finally losing it.

Her dark hair dances in the breeze, and her eyes lock on to mine with an intensity that sends a thrill down my spine. I take another swig of whiskey and set the bottle beside me on the blanket, my focus solely on her.

“Are you wasted?” she asks, moving closer, her gaze daring and teasing, like she’s challenging me.

“Come here.” My voice is low and gravelly, filled with a yearning that surprises even me.

“No,” she says, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Now,” I say as I reach my hand out to her.

Though she wants to act like a brat, she does what I asked, gliding across the sand toward me. I pull her down onto the blanket with me, and she settles on my lap.

“Why the fuck are you here?” I ask, desperate to touch her, needing to know she’s real, that this moment is real.

“Because I have a fucking bone to pick with you,” she says, her voice barely above a whisper. “Nick told me you were here.”

I chuckle, shaking my head. “He’s a bastard.”

Electricity swarms between us as I lean in, breathing her in. I want her so fucking bad that it hurts.

“You smell good. ”

“I’m really mad at you,” she admits, her mouth set in a firm line.

“Aww, what else is new, Ice Queen?” I lift an eyebrow, smirking.

She turns her head to glare at me.

“Why did you post that picture? What’s wrong with you?” she snaps.

I laugh. “You have been the highlight of my day.”

“You’ve created a shitstorm,” she says desperately, her voice a mix of frustration and something else. “You are ruining my life!”

“No, I’m just forcing you to live a little,” I admit, tracing her bottom lip with my thumb, feeling the softness beneath my touch. “I have no fucking regrets.”

The wood crackles as the waves crash in the background. I’m feeling too vulnerable, and I shouldn’t be around her in this state. We shouldn’t be this close, but honestly, I don’t have the fucks to give to put any walls up as I wrap my arms around her. She places her hand on my cheek and turns her body until she’s straddling me, the heat radiating between us.

“I’m supposed to hate you,” she softly says as I tuck her dark hair behind her ears, getting a better look at her and the freckles that are lightly sprinkled across her nose, a constellation I could get lost in.

“If this is hate, I can’t wait to see love,” I say, turning my hat backward so I can better nibble on her bottom lip.

“I’m not supposed to want you like this. It angers me.” She sighs, grabbing my hoodie tight in her fists, as if holding on for dear life. “Nick told me to stay away from you.”

“I know. It’s because you’re really fucking bad for business,” I say, trying to sound serious, but the allure of her is overwhelming. I lower my voice. “I’ll tell you a secret though—I don’t care.”

“You should care. Because of you, no one will believe I’m with Louis. Josh is literally spiraling out of control. The media is having a field day, digging up timelines of all my relationships. My office has been swamped with inquiries. This is a mess. One you created.”

“Anything worth a damn is messy, babe. In the end, it will all work out, trust me.” I study her, admiring how pretty she is. “But Nick is right. You should stay away from me. You shouldn’t be here right now.”

The fire crackles like it’s laughing at us, mocking the tension that’s been simmering between me and Billie for years.

“Tell me to leave,” she whispers. “Tell me to leave, and I will.”

She gently grinds into my cock, which is rock hard, like she’s testing how much I can take before I snap. Her lips are inches from mine, and her breath smells like sweet wine.

I should push her away. I should, but against my better judgment, I don’t. I’ve lost my willpower, and damn if I’m not ready to embrace it.

“You’re such a fucking coward, Banks,” she whispers, her voice dripping with venom and something else—something raw and desperate. Her hand slides up my chest, nails dragging over the fabric of my hoodie, like she’s marking me. “You can’t answer my questions. You can barely look at me. Why?”

“You remind me of what I can’t have,” I admit, not having a single fuck to give. My heart thumps hard as I drown in her ice-blue eyes, feeling the weight of her gaze.

“Wow. I finally get it,” she says, low and throaty, studying me with a fierce intensity. She finds truth in the silence that hangs between us. “You don’t hate me . You hate that you can’t have me.”

“Projecting again, princess? Bet that pussy is already drenched for me. Isn’t it?”

Our mouths slam together, and we’re not soft or gentle. Right now, it’s fucking war. We grow more greedy, more desperate, and she has no idea how right she really is. I grip her waist, pulling her closer, craving more.

“You don’t have to admit anything. I can see it in your eyes, in how you look at me.”

Her tongue invades my mouth like she’s claiming territory, and I let her. I let her fucking take it because it’s hers .

“I feel it in your touch. In how you give me all of you when you kiss me.”

Billie thrusts her hands in my hair, pulling hard enough to make my scalp sting, and I groan into her mouth because it feels too damn good.

“I love that sound,” she whispers in my ear, her breath hot and inviting. “That’s you surrendering to me.”

“Is that what it is?” I laugh against her mouth, knowing this is what dreams are made of as she pushes me onto my back with determination.

I slide my hand up her sweater, realizing she has no bra. I tweak her perky nipple, and she sighs, the sound sending a rush of heat through me.

Her lips swollen and wet, and she looks at me like she wants to devour me whole. “Tell me you don’t feel anything. Confirm it so we can go back to how things were.”

Billie wants me to deny her, to push her away. It would be easy, but instead, I shake my head, the truth burning in my chest.

“I can’t. There’s no going back. You and I both know that.”

“We still can,” she breathes out, her thighs pressing against my sides like a vise.

She grinds down on me, and even through the layers of clothes, she finds pleasure. Her hips move in slow, deliberate circles against my cock, which is straining in my shorts. Her chest rises and falls, and she rocks against me as if her life depends on it.

I grip her ass, bucking my hips up into her, letting her take what she needs. She’s so worked up, so horny, and by the look on her face, I can tell she’s ready to finish right here on my lap.

“I want you buried deep inside me,” she whispers. The sound of her voice sends a jolt straight to my cock.

She reaches down to my shorts, and I grab her hand, halting her.

“Not like this,” I say, looking seriously into her eyes, not letting her hands go. I want her to understand .

“Don’t you want me?” she asks, confusion flickering across her features.

“I do. So damn bad. But I can’t treat you like a fuck toy.”

Her forehead presses against mine, and I know she’s trying to fucking break me as she rocks against me, trying to push my boundaries. I can sense her trembling and hear her breathlessness. Sliding my hand between her thighs, I rub slow circles on the outside of the joggers she’s wearing. A gasp escapes her lips, sweet and needy.

She wraps her arms around my neck and kisses her way up to my ear, letting me hear her whispered desires.

“Lose control with me,” I say, giving her what she craves.

“I always do.”

It’s the most honest thing she’s ever said.

“So. Close.” She tenses under my touch.

The sound of the sea drowns out her desperate cries as I slide my hand into her panties. It doesn’t take long before she’s losing it. Billie kisses me as she falls apart, her body shaking as she comes hard, her thighs clenching around me like she’s trying to milk every last drop of pleasure from this moment.

When it’s over, she collapses against me, her chest heaving like she just ran a marathon. I hold her against me. I smile, running my fingers through her hair, inhaling the sweetness of her skin. As she comes down from her high, Billie pulls away, her dark, fucked-out eyes meeting mine.

“You’re different tonight.” She rests her chin on my chest, looking both satisfied and contemplative.

I lift my brow, tucking my arm behind my head, capturing her in my memory. “I’m also fucking trashed on whiskey. Wonder if I’ll remember this tomorrow.”

“You know I’m unforgettable,” she says.

She moves off of me, and we sit up.

Billie glances at the bulge in my shorts, smirking like she won a twisted game. “I like knowing I drive you wild. I think it’s the confirmation I needed.”

I lift a brow. “Really? What will you do with that information now that you have it?”

“I’m not sure.” She runs her fingers through my hair. “Will you always deny me?”

She breathes out, and the mood grows serious.

My smile widens. “Probably.”

“Asshole response. Typical,” she says, rolling her eyes.

“That’s because I am an asshole. You know that. But so are you. That’s why this works,” I say.

“Hate to fuck around and run, but I’m exhausted.” Billie’s face softens, her eyes heavy.

I pick up the bottle of whiskey and take a long pull.

Her face softens, and she dips down, tasting the whiskey on my lips.

“Can we talk tomorrow morning before I leave? No bullshit. No arguing. No masks. No whiskey,” she says, her voice dropping to a whisper.

“Before I agree to anything, I’d like you to tell me how that shit sandwich tastes? Seems like the other night wasn’t my last chance, was it?” I ask.

She leans over and paints her lips across mine again.

I’m desperate for her.

“Hmm. It tastes like satisfaction,” she says, her hot breath on my cheeks.

Billie pulls away and stands. As she walks away, her hips sway like she knows I’m still watching, and I can’t help but admire the view.

“If you want to talk, meet me right here at sunrise,” I tell her, trying to sound casual, though my pulse quickens.

She glances back at me over her shoulder, a playful smile dancing on her lips. “Good night, Banks. ”

“Fuck off, Ice Queen,” I say with a grin, and this time, it earns me one in return.

My eyes flutter open, and I roll over to check the time. As I reach for my phone, the alarm buzzes to life. I’m impressed I remembered to set it, considering how much I drank last night. I’m not sure if it actually happened or if I dreamed it.

I immediately turn it off and slide out of bed, feeling more energized than I should, especially since I’m running on five hours of sleep. But what else is new? I’ll sleep when I’m dead.

I sit up and look out the windows of my suite, which faces the beach. It strangely feels like a brand-new beginning, the kind that makes me believe anything is possible. After last night, I’m convinced it is.

I slide on a sweater and some joggers, grabbing a cozy blanket. I open the sliding doors and walk to the beach, letting the salty air fill my lungs. The sun breaks the horizon as the whooshing of waves surrounds me like a familiar song. I spread the blanket on the warm sand and make myself comfortable, glancing around the private beach. A few people are jogging along the shore, but there’s no Billie in sight.

I lie on my back, staring up at the light-pink and purple sky, wondering if she changed her mind. If she did, I totally understand. Cutting through the tension hasn’t been easy. Maybe she has regrets.

The sun is halfway up now, and I close my eyes, soaking in the sounds of waves crashing, trying not to dwell on being stood up.

I’ll make her regret it. The thought makes me smile.

Moments later, I feel someone standing over me. My eyes flutter open, and I look up to see her smiling down at me .

“Good morning,” she tells me, her voice warm and inviting.

I can’t help but grin. “Ice Queen. You are so lucky you didn’t stand me up.”

“Pfft. Not letting you get out of this conversation that easily.”

I sit up, and she settles beside me, so close that our skin brushes together, sending a little spark through me. I open my arm, and she leans her head against my shoulder as we watch the sun fully rise together. It feels surreal, like I’m dreaming.

Being this close to her is a whirlwind of emotions. It feels too vulnerable as we sit silently, listening to the waves crash rhythmically against the shore. The sky morphs from golden pink into a soft purplish-blue. I hold her like she might vanish at any moment, like this is nothing more than a fleeting moment. It could be. I don’t want it to be.

My fingers gently trace circles on her skin as she breathes me in. Words aren’t needed because our silent conversation is loud enough. Somehow, I find comfort in her presence and don’t want this to end.

We hold one another for what feels like an eternity, maybe forty-five minutes, before we both release a long sigh of contentment at the same time. We glance at each other, then quickly look away, a little shy.

Weston was right; we’re so much alike.

“I have to leave in two hours.”

“Let’s get our day started then,” I say, standing, holding out my hand for her. I gently pull her to her feet. When she’s in front of me, I smirk. “You said no bullshit today.”

“No bullshit,” she replies, her eyes sparkling. “We have to get each other out of our systems.”

“You think that’s possible?” I ask, grabbing the blanket and shaking out the sand.

“I don’t know,” Billie answers honestly, a hint of uncertainty in her voice. “I feel like I don’t know who you are.”

“You know exactly who I am.” I tuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear, studying her, as if trying to memorize every detail. “Now, come on.”

I fold the blanket, leaving it on the edge of the boardwalk, and then I take Billie’s hand, leading her to the wet sand. Our chemistry is almost too much as the cool water slides over our feet, sending little shivers up our legs.

“Would you rather never feel fear again or regret?” she asks.

“Regret,” I say without missing a beat. “It’s something that only comes after making the wrong decision. I enjoy being right. All the time. ”

Her face cracks into a bright smile, the kind that lights up her whole being. “I like that answer.”

“What about you?” I ask, genuinely interested.

“I’m not sure,” she says. “Fear has stopped me so much that I don’t even make the decision to regret.”

“Really?” I furrow my brows, surprised. “I’ve always thought you were fearless. No fucks given.”

She chuckles. “No one is completely fearless. Not even you.”

“Except Easton and Weston.”

“Okay, you’re right about that,” she says. “I love my brothers so much. It’s been difficult, growing up in their shadow though. I don’t get to be Billie. I get to be Easton and Weston’s little sister. Little Calloway. Diamond princess. What is my identity?”

“You’re the Ice Queen who runs her fashion empire from her Crystal Palace. I don’t think you see yourself the way everyone else does.” I wish she could see what I do.

She smiles, and we focus on the water. Sunshine sparkles across the surface like a thousand tiny diamonds.

Billie breathes in the salty air, closing her eyes for a moment before turning to me. “What are we doing, Asher?”

“Exploring our options,” I reply, keeping it real. It’s the truth after all.

Her brows lift in curiosity, and a grin sweeps across her pretty face. “Does this feel strange to you? ”

I shake my head, swimming in her ice-blue eyes, feeling like I could get lost in them forever. “No. It feels inevitable.”

Our laughter fades, replaced by a heavy silence that hangs in the air, charged with unspoken words. It’s raw and honest, the kind of moment that leaves me breathless and terrified, as if I’m teetering on the edge of something monumental. I gently cup her face, our eyes locking in a silent promise that hangs between us like a fragile thread.

“When we return to the city, we’ll have to put our armor back on,” I whisper, my voice thick with certainty.

She exhales, her understanding evident in the way her gaze softens. “I know.”