Page 35 of The Book of Lost Stories

Old Loves

It was with a fast-beating heart that Drusilla heard Sir Lemuel say, ‘I feel, dear Cousin, that I have come to know the sterling worth of your character even in so short an acquaintance, so that you should not be surprised at the nature of the proposal I am about to lay before you.’

Death or Dishonour by ORLANDO brOWNE

On the morning of Bella’s ball, Alys chose to revisit Westminster Abbey, which she had been longing to do.

That the expedition was by no means an unqualified success was entirely due to Lord Rayven’s manner, for from the start he was both distant and curt, so very different to their last expedition together, when they had laughed over Pug’s supercilious airs as he was driven through the park.

Alys thought that must have been an aberration due to some kindly impulse, and her suspicion grew that he had no further interest in her, now he had discovered her secret.

Not, of course, that she cared for that , she told herself as they arrived back in Portman Square. No, indeed! She had never desired his company in the first place.

‘Lord Rayven,’ she said, as he helped her to alight, ‘I believe I have now visited every object of interest to me in London, and need no longer impose upon you to escort me.’

For a moment his dark, hawk-nosed face stared down at her impassively. Then he replied indifferently, ‘As you wish.’

Alys, not trusting herself to say more, turned away and walked into the house, blinking rapidly.

‘Miss Weston,’ the butler said, closing the door behind her, ‘there is a’ – he paused – ‘ gentleman to see you. A Mr Puncheon. I have put him in the small front sitting room.’

‘Mr Puncheon?’ exclaimed Alys, and thinking immediately that some mishap must have befallen Miss Grimshaw, she went quickly into the room where she found the elderly tea merchant pacing up and down in an agitated manner.

‘Oh, tell me at once, sir, what is the matter? Is it Letty – Miss Grimshaw? Is she taken ill?’

‘Ill? No, pray do not alarm yourself, Miss Weston, for she is very well.’ He fixed his steady, china-blue eyes on her face. ‘That is, she is in some distress of mind over a matter which I wish to lay before you, entirely without her knowledge, I may add.’

Alys sank down on to the nearest chair. ‘If she is in any kind of distress, then you do well to tell me of it, for having been my kind companion from childhood she has both my affection and obligations of duty.’

Mr Puncheon also sat down, twitching aside the skirt of his old-fashioned coat and beaming at her. ‘Ah, but that is precisely it, for she too is fond of you, Miss Weston, so fond that she couldn’t tell you herself for fear of disappointing you.’

‘Disappointing me?’ echoed Alys, puzzled. ‘Pray explain, Mr Puncheon. I have noticed that she has been in low spirits lately when I have visited her, but assumed she was fretting for the time when we should be living together again.’

‘She finds herself torn – quite torn! But while she is prepared to sacrifice her happiness and my own on the altar of duty, I have decided to lay the matter before you.’

Alys, illumination slowly dawning, ventured, ‘Your happiness? You mean …?’

‘Yes, I have asked Miss Grimshaw to be my wife, but she will not consent, for she believes you to be relying on her company and support when you set up your own establishment.’

‘And – pray excuse me! – Letty wishes to marry you?’

‘We loved each other from the moment we met,’ he said simply.

‘Then there is no more to be said, except to offer you both my sincere congratulations and best wishes, and to tell Letty that she is a goose to think I would wish her to accompany me at the expense of her own happiness!’

Mr Puncheon sprang up from his seat and wrung her hand, beaming. ‘Thank you, thank you! I will be off and tell her directly.’

‘Do. And say that I will come and call on her shortly to wish her happy.’

When he had gone, the realization hit Alys that she had lost the future companionship of one who, even if she could not enter wholly into her interests, she was both fond of and at ease with.

She could not live alone without losing her good name, but the prospect of employing some unknown female to live with her was daunting.

But Letty to marry! She must hastily revise her views of romantic love, for it had not before occurred to her that it might strike persons no longer in the first flush of youth, or even the second.

And she wondered whether it was too late to change the appearance of Sir Lemuel Grosby, villain of Death or Dishonour , to the dark, hawk-nosed likeness of the capricious Lord Rayven, who had beguiled her into liking him quite against her will, then tired of the sport.

For, while she might not be able to organize her own life as she would wish, what was the point of being an author if your puppets did not dance to the tune you wished them to?

*

Alys was nervous as she set out for her very first ball, despite knowing that she looked her best in the sea-green silk gown and drapery of silver net that Nell had given her.

And she thanked goodness that her advanced years meant she was not tied to the whites and pale tints of the debutantes, even if she was becoming tired of this particular shade of green.

Borrowed aquamarines adorned her neck and ears and sparkled in her chestnut hair, which had been brushed into a high knot of ringlets that made the most of her long neck and large grey eyes.

‘What if I forget the steps of a dance and tread on my partner’s feet?’ she said to Nell as they awaited Mr Rivers, who had deigned to escort them that night. ‘What if I have no partners at all?’

‘You will not forget the steps, for we have practised them enough, and of course you will have partners. Already Lord Rayven and Mr Hartwood have asked you, haven’t they?’

‘I think Lord Rayven has forgotten; he did not mention it last time I saw him.’

‘I am sure he has not and, in any case, you will scarce miss him, for you look so beautiful that you will be besieged by young men. And George will go straight to the card room, so for once, I too intend to dance and have fun,’ Nell declared.

She was looking exceptionally pretty in lilac gauze draperies over a ball dress of white satin, her normally pale cheeks delicately flushed.

‘I hope you will not dance too often with Captain Stavely, if he is there,’ Alys said anxiously. ‘I am amazed at how gossip speeds around the ton , and how it changes in the telling.’

George, who had been inserted into his tightly fitting coat with some difficulty by his long-suffering valet, at last came down the stairs, so she could say no more.

He was pale, and called for a glass of brandy before he left the house, but otherwise seemed to be in a reasonable humour, apart from impatiently drumming his fingers on the window frame as they awaited their turn to alight from the carriage.

They made their slow way up the crowded marble staircase to where their hosts awaited them and Alys grew conscious of many stares and whisperings behind fans that seemed to be directed at them, although she could not think why.

Mr Titus Hartwood was not there, and instead Nat took his place in the receiving line next to his mother.

Bella was resplendent in a ball gown of pink gauze, with a wreath of silk rosebuds on her head, although her expression of delight at seeing their party was at strange variance with the triumphant look she shot at Alys when she thought herself unobserved.

‘Miss Weston,’ Mrs Hartwood said, the purple ostrich feathers on her turban head-dress nodding, ‘my brother-in-law particularly wished to speak to you as soon as you arrived. He is in the small withdrawing room over there, which has been set up for cards.’

‘Very well,’ Alys said, and, with a speaking glance at Nell, turned away from the double doorway into the crowded ballroom that glittered with a thousand reflected candles.

She found herself face to face with Lady Chibberly and her daughters. ‘Oh, good evening,’ she said with a smile, pleased to find some familiar faces and was disconcerted when that lady merely gave her a hard stare and a cool nod. ‘Come along, girls,’ she said, hurrying them quickly past her.

As Alys, puzzled, gazed after them, Sophia looked over her shoulder and winked at her, mouthing something, before she was swallowed up into the crowd.

It looked like ‘Fly, all is discovered!’ But then, both the Misses Chibberly had a very strange sense of humour. It was what she most liked about them.

Her grandfather awaited her alone in the candlelit room, which had been set out for those who preferred to play cards rather than dance. His carrying chair was placed before one of the tables and he did not smile at her, as she had grown used to, but frowned ferociously.

‘Well, miss, come here where I can see you!’

She moved forward, the light shimmering on the silver of her dress. ‘Good evening, Grandfather. I trust your rheumatism is not too painful tonight?’

‘Never mind that,’ he said shortly. ‘What is this I hear of you being the author of some trumpery, sensational novels? Is the rumour true?’

Lady Chibberly’s reaction – even the whisperings and rude staring when they arrived – was explained. Alys faced him more calmly than she felt. ‘It is, but may I ask who told you of it? Was it Lord Rayven?’

She had thought first of George, but he had not seemed much interested in his discovery and besides, she could not see him rushing to lay the information before Mr Hartwood. But Lord Rayven was so very thick with her grandfather …

‘Never mind who was first with the news, for now, apparently, it is all around Town.’

‘I am sorry you should learn of it like this, for I meant to tell you myself, the next time I visited you. Not that I am in the least ashamed of it.’

‘You are not?’

‘No, for I am a very good author, and my novels are neither trumpery nor sensational. I only keep my authorship a secret because it helps sell them to have people think they are written by a man.’

‘I am told they are scandalous, especially considering they come from the pen of a young and unmarried female!’

Alys shrugged. ‘If people wish to imagine more into certain scenes than I write, well, that is not my fault. I have never heard that Byron was ever accused of writing too scandalously for his youthful and unmarried state.’

‘He is a man and so the case is entirely different. But still, I am from an age when people were not, perhaps, so mealy-mouthed as today, so I will judge for myself. I have sent for copies of them all.’

He glowered at her again and she met his gaze levelly. ‘And playing at novel writing is the source of your income? It was for that you turned down the opportunity to become part of my household and make a respectable match?’

‘Yes, for I can support myself perfectly adequately on my income if I live in quiet retirement, which I intend to do. I find most of London society boring and superficial, on the whole, although there are a few people I will miss, of course.’

‘And what of your cousin, Nat?’

‘What of him?’ she said, surprised.

‘I had hoped that you and he might make a match of it.’

‘A match? But I have made it plain from the start that I do not wish to wed, and I am very sure my cousin does not wish to marry me .’

‘There you are wrong. He has assured me that he is very fond of you and asked my permission to pay his addresses to you.’

‘Asked your permission?’

‘I am your closest male relative, after all, and I admit I encouraged him.’ He paused.

‘Nat is essentially good-hearted, but has fallen in with a set of good-for-nothings who have been a bad influence on him. But he swears he will reform his life on his marriage. He wants only some excuse to withdraw from the society in which he finds himself, which marriage to a sensible woman will give him.’

‘He should certainly do so, for those same friends have had an adverse effect upon Mr Rivers. But I am afraid I have no desire to marry Nat, even to be the means of his redemption.’

‘He could also be the means of yours, for there is likely to be a scandal over your novel writing and the sooner you are respectably married the better.’

‘I thank you for your concern, Grandfather, and am sorry to disappoint you, but I will not marry to cover a shame I do not feel.’

‘You are very set against the match, yet many women would swoon with delight to have my nephew pay his addresses to them. I hope you have not fallen for some unsuitable man, like your fool of a mother did … unless it is Rayven? He has frequently been in your company.’

‘Where else should he have been, when you set him on to watch me?’ she said acidly, but feeling her colour rise.

‘He told you that? Well, it is true enough, although I did not expect him to do more than make a few enquiries into your circumstances.’

‘He did not need to tell me, for since he seems to find me exasperating in the extreme, there could be no other reason for his attentions.’

‘With that I can sympathize, but I hope you do not have a tendre for him.’

‘Certainly not!’

‘Good, for I have it in mind that he and Bella might make a match of it. She will be well dowered enough, even if I settle most of my fortune on you when you marry Nat.’

Alys said, through gritted teeth, ‘Grandfather, I am not going to marry Nat or any other man, even for a share of your fortune! Let Bella and Nat inherit all, as they surely must have expected until my inopportune arrival on the scene.’

He eyed her with cold displeasure. ‘I had thought you a sensible woman, despite your obstinate, independent ways, but now I see I was mistaken. You had best go back to the ballroom. I dare say the rumours of your notoriety will have gone round by now, and you must be prepared for whispers, innuendo and even, perhaps, some cuts direct, although the cloak of my name and your acknowledgement by the family will shield you from the worst of it. You had best deny the rumours. I have already instructed your cousins to do so.’

‘I fully intend to deny them and also express great surprise that anyone should imagine me capable of such a thing,’ Alys said. ‘But perhaps it would be better if I now removed my unsavoury and scandalous presence from your house?’

‘Perhaps, but that would be the coward’s way out, and also a sad reward for Mrs Rivers’ hospitality, in leaving her to face questions alone.’

‘You are right,’ Alys said after a moment’s pause. ‘Then I will go through with the evening, whatever slights I must endure. But after that I will leave London as soon as it may be arranged.’