I t’s Friday night. I stare at my reflection in the small mirror in my room. Like so many times before, I doubt the way I look.
I’m wearing a simple black dress that hits mid-thigh, showing more of my breasts than I’m used to. I don’t usually wear anything this low-cut or short. It draws attention—the kind I hate. My breasts are too large, my hips too wide, my ass too big. My only saving grace is that my waist isn’t as thick. But according to the other girls, I’m still fat compared to their nonexistent sizes.
To be honest, I don’t give a shit what anyone thinks. This dress is the only thing I own that’s even remotely good enough for a college party.
“Selene, are you still going?” Diana calls through the door, followed by a single knock.
“I’ll be right out,” I reply, second-guessing my makeup.
I should have just stuck with lip gloss and mascara. Instead, I went all out—foundation, eyeliner. Not that it matters. The two windows I have for glasses block my eyes anyway.
I plan to visit my aunt first and then meet Diana at the party. But I can’t not see her. I’d think about her the whole time and feel guilty for not visiting. It’s the first time I’ve gone two whole days without checking in.
Diana said I should go all out. Again, I’m second-guessing myself. But I’m not sure I look okay. I’m not used to wearing so much makeup. Not used to wearing dresses.
I raise a tissue to blot my lipstick, hesitating before wiping off the foundation. There’s already a thin layer of product smudged under my glasses.
“Stop it,” I whisper to myself. “You can do this, Selene. You know they will call you a nerd. Talk shit behind your back. You’re pretty.”
I repeat the last words like it’s a mantra, but I don’t believe it.
I let out an exasperated breath. “I look like an owl.”
My pupils—two dark brown marbles—stare back at me through magnifying lenses.
Then my aunt’s voice echoes in my head. “Someone will see how beautiful you are underneath.” I smile. “And sizes two and zero? Overrated.”
If only it were that easy. I mutter, “I’m a size six on a good day.”
“Selene?” Diana calls
out.I glance at myself one last time in the mirror, rising onto my toes to check if the dress hides my ass. I grab a jacket.
“Wish me luck,” I mutter to no one.
When I open the door, Diana is standing by the front door, scowling.
Her frown vanishes the second she sees me. “Well, well.” Her eyes sweep over me. “There she is.”
I roll my eyes and push my glasses up my nose. “I look like I could start a fire with these glasses,” I grumble. “And don’t even get me started on the dress.”
She shakes her head. “No, you don’t. You look hot.” She smirks. “Better than those leggings and oversized shirts you always wear.”
“It’s comfortable,” I argue.
“It’s lax, and lax is boring.” She arches a brow. “If you wore a crop top with those leggings, then it would look fun.”
Pfft. “That’s because you don’t have fat boobs spilling out from the top and bottom.”
Diana deadpans. “I would kill for your rack.”
I snort. “Yeah, until you go bra shopping and realize you’re buying parachutes.”
She laughs and opens the door. “Come on, I’ll meet you there. The guys are going to drool when they see you in that dress.”
More like laugh at me for trying, but I don’t say that out loud.
It takes me forty-five minutes to get to my aunt’s house. By the time I pull up, the sun is setting. The small white house with its brown wooden door looks abandoned, and there’s a black, unmarked car parked in the driveway.
I frown. A man I don’t recognize is closing the front door. Something feels wrong.
I climb the steps. “Excuse me?”
He turns, brown eyes sweeping over me like he’s trying to place me. “Are you Selene?”
I hesitate. “Yes. And you are?”
“I’m Officer Henley,” he says, clearing his throat. “I—I knew your aunt from the food drive at the church.”
A cop? I’ve never seen him before, and my aunt never mentioned him.
“I don’t know how to say this, but…” He exhales. “She’s gone.”
Everything stops.
My stomach drops.
My chest splits apart. It feels like I’m wading in dark water.
No. No. No.
The words slam into me like a physical blow. “Gone?” I whisper.
I glance around the porch, waiting for her to appear. To come outside. To laugh, like this is some cruel joke.
“Yes.” His gaze drops, and he blinks rapidly. “She’s gone, Selene.”
My knees buckle. A sharp ringing fills my ears. I shake my head, but the noise only grows louder. The world around me tunnels in and out of focus.
He grabs me to keep me from falling. “I’m sorry,” he says, but his voice is muffled.
I barely see him because I’m shoving past him and running into the house.
“Aunt Nan?” My voice echoes.
The house is too quiet. I check the living room, kitchen, and bathroom.
Nothing.
I reach her bedroom. Her bed is stripped bare. The book and mirror are gone.
The furniture is empty. Like she never lived here at all.
Like I made her up.
And then it hits me—a wave so brutal it drowns me.
I stagger. My vision fogs—not from my eyesight, but from the tears blurring behind my glasses. I can’t breathe. A warm hand lands on my shoulder, grounding me.
I take a deep breath.
“When?” I rasp.
“Two days ago,” Officer Henley says. “She called 911 through her monitor, but…” He exhales. “She didn’t want you to worry.” I feel numb. “She left instructions,” he continues. “Her mirror and book will be at your dorm in the morning. She requested to be cremated. I was listed as next of kin to be notified to take care of her last wishes. She didn’t want you to worry.”
I sniff. “Can I see her?”
He hesitates. “I’m afraid she left strict instructions.”
“What kind of instructions?”
He hands me a card. An estate attorney. “She left funds for your tuition, room, and board,” he explains. “Her will included a book and a mirror, which will be delivered to your dorm.”
I take the card like it’s a death certificate. Why didn’t she call me? Why did I have to find out like this? But I know the answer.
She didn’t want me to see her go. She wanted me to remember her alive.
I barely hear him as he tells me how they met and how they became fast friends because none of it matters. I was too late.
Her memory pricks at my skin like a thousand tiny needles. Our laughter. Our conversations. The smell of her favorite tea. All gone.
I will never hear her voice again.
I stare at the empty room one last time, hands trembling, lip quivering.
And just like I knew it would, the world keeps turning without her.
I drive, feeling worthless. Like I’m an orphan. The neighborhood is a blur outside my window as my eyes strain when it gets dark. Soon, I won’t be able to drive. I have to lie on every exam that my eyesight is still good enough to drive, but I know next time it won’t be.
It’s not like I’ll have to drive anywhere. I won’t be coming back.
This house. This street. This life. It feels like I’ve been kicked out of my own world.
I pull into the park. The same park where my aunt took me since I was a kid.
I glance at the swings. The dog park. The pond where we fed the ducks.
I stare at my hands. “Why, Aunt Nan? Why now?”
The wind blows against my face, but it doesn’t carry answers.
“Why couldn’t you stay a little longer?”
But that’s the thing about time. There’s never enough.
My phone vibrates; Diana’s name flashes on the screen until the notification pops up. A missed call from Diana. I should go back to the dorm and tell her what happened and the reason why I can’t meet her at the party. But I can’t be alone right now. Nan wouldn’t want to see me like this. She would be so disappointed.
I need someone to fill this hollow ache inside me. I need Micah.
It feels like a five-minute drive to the house party off campus when it usually takes almost two hours.
The place is packed, but I managed to find parking by the curb. When I walk in, I wince at the loud music. It feels like the walls are shaking. Bodies grind against each other on the makeshift dance floor. College students, athletes, jocks—everyone I recognize from campus.
My eyes sting, swollen from crying as I try to focus. My palms sweat.
I scan the faces, trying to place them. Some give me curious looks. Others point.
I hear the comments over the music.
“It’s the girl with the glasses.”
“Isn’t she friends with Micah, right?”
“Damn, those glasses are huge.”
I push forward, not caring to hear what they think. All I can think about is getting to Micah. My best friend. The only person I have left.
I check my phone and stare at the ten unread texts I sent from the park bench. All from me. All to Micah. And all ignored.
I press send, telling him to call me back. I was tempted to call Diana to see if she’s seen him, but I didn’t want to explain. I didn’t want to hear anyone’s voice but his.
Laughter erupts from the family room. I glance up toward the loft. There’s a pool table. But no one is playing because there’s a girl lying on her back. Her skirt is bunched up on the top of her thighs. And standing between them…
Micah.
His hand slides up her skirt slowly while his lips press against her throat. I watch him pull out his phone, swipe across the screen?—
And ignore my text. My body locks up. My chest tightens, strangling my breath.
He knew I called. He just didn’t give a fuck about me enough to pick up. He read that I needed him urgently.
And he didn’t care.
Diana’s voice cuts through the noise. “Hey, you made it!” She frowns. “Selene? Are you okay?” I can’t speak. I’m still trying to breathe. “Is it Micah?” I shake my head frantically.
I shouldn’t have come. I shouldn’t have?—
“Is it your aunt?”
I turn to her. And the look on my face says everything. Her lips part. “Oh, Selene…”
A lump lodges in my throat. She reaches for me, but?—
Laughter erupts from the guys on the couch.
They’re pointing. One of Micah’s teammates—Seth—grins at me. He glances from Micah to me. And the realization hits him. His lips curl. “Oh, shit.” And then he laughs.
Diana follows his gaze. Her expression hardens. More laughter follows.
The voices grow louder. And then?—
Seth’s voice cuts through the music. “Yo, Micah!”
Micah groans, irritated. His head turns this way. “What?”
Seth grins. “Your little girlfriend is here.”
The world stops. Every voice—silence. The music fades.
My heart is a hammer in my chest.
“I’m not sure how she can see if she is going blind with those huge fucking glasses, but she’s here.”
The laughter explodes.
I freeze. I feel their stares drilling into me, the mocking smirks.
The knife twists deep from the betrayal. Micah told them.
Now they all know. Of all the things he could say, he told them the one thing I begged him not to.
Micah’s gaze shifts to me. Our eyes lock, and the next worst thing happens: two fat tears slide down my face. Micah’s gaze drops to my phone. His eyes widen as the realization hits that I witnessed him ignoring my texts.
He looks at the girl, then at me?—
And shoves away from her.
I turn around; Diana grabs my hand, tugging me through the crowd.
“Selene, wait!” Micah’s voice is panicked.
“Let me guess, you called him and he didn’t answer?” Diana’s voice cuts through the cool night air as we step outside.
I take a second to catch my breath, my heart threatening to rip out of my chest. “Did you know he said those things about me?” My voice comes out raw, barely above a whisper.
She hesitates a fraction before she unlocks her car. “I heard rumors,” she admits. “But I thought it was just people being assholes because they’re dicks. I didn’t know how to tell you, and you probably wouldn’t have believed me with Nicole and Stacy always around.”
I slide into the passenger seat, shutting the door, staring straight ahead, despair eating me from the inside. My vision blurs as I take in the magnitude of the way he betrayed my trust. My love. My friendship. Funny how years of friendship and loyalty on my part can be torn apart in a single moment.
One moment is all it takes for everything you once believed in to go up in smoke and for the truth to surface. For that person you call a friend to become just like the people you see as enemies. That’s the moment when you realize how truly alone you are. How the person you love and trust is not who they seem to be, and you’re trying to hold on to them, not realizing that they’re the point that causes the glass to shatter.
The engine hums after Diana fires up the car.
“My car,” I whisper.
Diana starts to answer, but then––
“Selene!” Micah's voice slices through the night in a desperate plea. I turn my head just as Micah barrels out of the house like it’s on fire. He stumbles on the grass, nearly eating the pavement as he scans the street. His chest rises and falls raggedly, panicked. His eyes search for me like he already knows he’s lost me.
When movement from Diane’s car catches his eye, he fists his hair on the top of his head when he spots me through the windshield.
“Selene, wait!”
“Drive,” I say, not caring that I’m leaving my car behind. I’ll get it later.
Diana doesn’t hesitate. “With pleasure.”
She turns the wheel and makes a U-turn to head in the opposite direction. The tires screech against the pavement, leaving Micah behind.
I glance in the side mirror. He’s standing in the middle of the road as a car's horn blares for him to get out of the way.
My phone buzzes in my pocket. I already know who it is. The other living person that has my number is sitting next to me. I don’t answer and send his call to voicemail.
Diana spares me a glance. “What are you going to do?”
I don’t know if she means my aunt or Micah, but only one word fits. “Nothing.”
She slows down once we approach our street. “What do you mean, nothing?”
I exhale, my breath shaky. “My aunt is dead, and I can’t bring her back.” The words feel foreign on my tongue, like they don’t belong. If I don’t say them, maybe it’s not true and just a bad dream.
“And Micah?” she presses.
“Nothing is going to change what happened. I needed him, and it’s obvious he doesn’t care. Not about our friendship.”
Diana’s hands grip the wheel. “That’s true. But––”
“I’m not going to scream at him,” I swallow the lump in my throat, forcing my voice steady. “I’m not going to tell him he’s an asshole. He already knows. There is nothing to explain. Nothing to fix. It’s inexcusable what he did at the worst time of my life.” I press my fingers to my temple, trying to contain the pain inside. “And it hurts. God, it fucking hurts.”
Diana exhales slowly, her expression filled with something I don’t want to name. “I’m sorry, Selene.”
I shake my head. “Don’t be.”
This is my fault for trusting him. For loving him. For thinking he could be more than a selfish, cowardly bastard.
My phone vibrates again. I don’t even look at it. Instead, I turn to Diana. “Could you do something for me?”
“Anything.”
“If Micah shows up, tell him to forget about me?”
She pinches her brows. “Forget about you?” She repeats like she’s trying to make sure she heard me right.
I nod, keeping my voice even. “Yeah. For him to forget I exist.”
I glance at our dorm building like it’s a prison as she pulls in.
“Sure, okay,” she says softly, but I can tell she isn’t entirely convinced.
He doesn’t deserve another chance. He’s spent so much time trying to forget about me. It’s time I return the favor.