Page 40 of The Blind Duke's Ward
Nathan reached beneath the sheets toward her but found himself rebuffed. Gemma shifted the sheets between them, using them as a shield for her naked body.
“I do not trust myself if my skin is against yours. If my body…is in contact with yours. I have never felt so out of control before, as I did earlier. So…lustful and…”
She tailed off as though searching for words.
“I know,” Nathan replied. “Had you not stopped me, I think…there would have been nothing more that was undiscovered between us. Nothing at all.”
“And that would not be right. Something should be saved for marriage,” Gemma replied.
“Indeed,” Nathan agreed.
They lay together in silence for a long time, bodies inches apart but separated by their combined wills and the thinnest of cotton bedclothes. Nathan enjoyed the feel of Gemma’s eyes upon him. It felt like a caress. Presently, he heard her breathing deepen and knew that she was asleep. He allowed the same condition to wash over him.
* * *
When he awoke again, there was no memory of dreams and Gemma remained beside him. He lay on his back and her head rested on his chest, her arm and leg draped over him once more. His arm was about her, hand resting low on her back. Ruefully, he slowly removed himself from her embrace and carefully crossed the room. He collected discarded linen from the bathing room to wrap around himself like a Roman toga, then slipped from Gemma’s rooms as quietly as he could.
CHAPTERTWENTY-FOUR
Gemma awoke from a dream about which she remembered little, except for sensations. She stretched beneath the bedclothes, pointing her toes and tensing her thighs. Her arm touched a spot on the bed that Nathan had occupied before she had fallen asleep. The coldness of the bed there brought her to full wakefulness. She opened her eyes, seeing the sheets neatly replaced. He had risen before her and without waking her. What did that signify?
Has he woken with regret for his actions the night before? Does he feel ashamed?
The pleasant, warm feelings left over from the dream evaporated. What was left in their place was something cold and empty. She sat up, pulling the bedclothes up to her neck as she did so, not even wanting the empty room to witness her nudity. A bright line of sunlight was peeking into the room between the curtains. A sudden thought occurred to her.
Has Emily Carlisle finally arrived? Is that why he left me? She has arrived and he has remembered his duties. He has woken from the dream that was our brief dalliance.
If that was the case then, promise or not, she needed to leave as soon as possible. She would not put herself in a position to be judged by this other woman. There was no reason to believe she was a competitor, Nathan had agreed to be her ward, after all. But, Gemma had impersonated her and Nathan had been complicit in that deception. If the roles were reversed, then Gemma would expect some explanation for that behavior. A man was dead because of her and Gemma did not want to face it. She got out of bed and began to dress, considering how she could slip away unobserved. A knock came at the outer door of her chambers. She wore a petticoat and was putting on stockings but now froze. For a horrified moment, she believed it was Emily, knocking at the door and demanding access to her chambers.
“My Lady?” Charlotte’s voice reached her.
The relief that flooded Gemma was palpable. She put a hand to her chest as though to slow the mad racing of her heart.
“Come in, Charlotte. I am dressing,” Gemma called.
Charlotte appeared a moment later and fell into a curtsy. Gemma waved a hand dismissively.
“None of that. You and I know the truth. When it is just us, we will be honest with one another,” she said.
“Good habits are best made by doing,” Charlotte replied smiling, and began to busy herself about the room.
She drew the curtains and made to pick up discarded items of clothing for the laundry. As she worked, she talked.
“His Grace has asked that you join him for breakfast if you are awake. He has said that any time in the next hour will be appropriate as he will be dealing with his correspondence in the meantime.”
“And Emily as well?” Gemma asked, having convinced herself that her worst fears had been realized.
Charlotte frowned. “No. She has not yet arrived. I do believe that His Grace is becoming quite anxious about it. I overheard…”
She stopped, and when Gemma looked up, she saw the maid blushing.
“That was not proper of me, I’m sorry. I should not be eavesdropping.”
Gemma patted the bed beside her, having put on her stockings. Charlotte sat next to her and Gemma turned to face her.
“Ordinarily, probably not. I imagine a man like Marshall wouldn’t hesitate to sack you for it. But, selfishly, I should like any information I can gather before…”
She stopped herself, realizing that if Charlotte knew she planned to flee, she might insist on coming along. Or on telling Nathan, believing she was doing the best for Gemma.