Page 21 of The Black Lotus (Fatal Florals Duet #2)
FOURTEEN
SERENA
A million questions swirl around my head like angry hornets with nothing but vague answers to satiate the sting.
My legs bounce up and down from the rush of killing Aster's first girlfriend. I know he said she wasn’t that important to him, but I saw the love in her eyes, the pining she felt with her whole body, how she was too distracted by what is mine to feel the knife penetrate her…
She thought differently . She thought they could kill me and live happily ever after hunting their victims together.
Sorry, Kelsey , her name sours my thoughts, my legs stilling, the spot of being a partner in crime with Aster is already taken, and you found out the hard way.
I smile to myself, the thought of my hand once again wrapping around the handle of the knife as I plunged it into her neck, the look of betrayal crossing her features before her eyes died along with her, eases some of the rage bubbling within me.
“What are you smiling about?” Aster teases, reaching for my hand.
Flinching away, he frowns, his knuckles going white on the wheel “Killing your little clown girlfriend.”
An exasperated sigh leaves his lips. “Serena, she isn’t, and never was, my girlfriend. When we get home, I’ll tell you about my past and why she was so infatuated with me.”
I turn my head, rolling my eyes and ignoring his excuses. Nothing but silence greets him until my stomach betrays me and pierces through my cloud of annoyance, hunger taking over.
Aster chuckles, grating my nerves further. “Let’s get you washed up and fed. Maybe after I feed the beast, you’ll be more inclined to listen.”
Feed the beast? My head whips towards him, wanting to lash out further as I dig my nails into my palms. I’ve been working hard on getting a grip on my emotions.
Instead of replying with a threat, which is what I really want to do, I take a calm, steadying breath and look out the window, staring at the top of the trees as they zip past us.
The tranquil scenery has my body relaxing and my eyes reluctantly fluttering closed, the soft music from the radio lulling me to sleep.
“ Serena! Where are you my sweet girl?” An unfamiliar angelic voice calls out for me. The sound of her words sets my excited nerves at ease as my rapidly beating heart goes back to its steady pace. I don’t know the woman looking for me, or why I’m hiding from her, but I do know she won’t hurt me.
I love her so much.
I dash across the hall, giggling and find myself stopping at the large mirror hanging on the wall.
Where am I? My tiny hand reaches out to touch the glass, staring at my five- year-old reflection.
My hair is in pigtails, little red bows wrapped around each one and I’m wearing a velvet green and red checkered dress with black clicky-clack flats and white stockings.
Is this a dream, memory, or both? The actions prove I am looking at child me from the eyes of my present me, but I don’t recall this memory.
I watch my head tilt in the mirror. Understanding shining in my eyes.
I shouldn’t be surprised; repressed memories seem to be a common thing with me, and dreams are how it starts when a memory resurfaces.
What have I forgotten? Or rather, who have I forgotten?
Footsteps pound behind me, and I take off running as a smile stretches my cheeks from playing my favorite game; hide and seek. I collide with my mother in the kitchen and hide behind her legs, peeking out at the woman chasing me.
“Serena, are you playing hide and seek with-” my mother asks, but the woman’s name is muffled, the word statics, making it impossible to decipher.
I look up at my mother’s grinning face, a younger, healthier version of her, and nod my head vigorously.
My heart aches as my hands tremble, wanting to reach out and hold her and never let go.
She is a memory I can’t keep, and it pains me that I’ll never hear her voice or see her face except for in my dreams. Dreams I wish could last forever.
My mother is in a beautiful red dress, her lips painted the same color, as Christmas tree earrings dangle from her ears and a reindeer apron is wrapped around her, protecting her outfit from getting covered in flour.
Looking at her, I see how much I resemble my mother, and it warms my heart to know her habits didn’t die with her, that I do what she did.
She drops to her knees and dabs my nose with a little flour. “Run to Mommy and Daddy's room and hide under the bed; she’ll never find you there.” She winks, nudging me with her elbow.
Kissing her cheek, I run to my hiding spot, leaving Mommy with her hand on her cheek and a warm smile on her face.
No! Don’t go. Turn around and go back to Mom! I yell at my child self, glancing back as the woman I miss everyday fades from my vision. I don’t want to play hide and seek or find out who’s voice that is; I just want my mom. Please don’t go, Mom. I’m sorry.
I feel myself sobbing, my body shaking as I crawl under the bed.
I hear my name being yelled by the angelic voice, the playful tone echoing around the house, but soon the voice morphs into panic.
I cover my mouth to stifle the giggle threatening to break free.
That woman always tricks me into coming out of my spot with her scared voice.
Not this time . This time I know better, and I will stay put.
Her feet come into view, the black, knock off Doc Martens pacing the room, the words she is saying blocked out by a different voice screaming my name, getting louder and louder each time. The woman drops to her knees and just as her face looks under the bed, I’m jostled awake.
“Fuck! Serena,” Aster’s words rush together as he caresses my face, swiping away the tears staining my cheeks.
“You started whimpering in your sleep, then crying, but we were almost home, so I sped up, and I started screaming your name, but you stayed asleep. Then your body started to convulse, and I didn’t know what was going on.
Were you having a seizure or something else?
Your body looked possessed.” My hand covers his heart, the muscles panicking in his chest, and his breathing finally slows.
“I had to wake you up, but you seemed trapped. I panicked. I didn’t know what else to do.
I was about to slap you awake, or pour water all over you but then your eyes burst open and-”
“I’m okay,” I whisper, calming my freaked out fox.
“I was dreaming of a memory, but my mom was there, and…” my voice cracks, “and I didn’t want to let go again.
” Tears drip off my chin, and this time I’m awake to feel them.
“She looked so healthy. I can’t remember the last time my mom looked like that. ”
He pulls me into him. “I miss her so much.” I cry into his arms, forgetting all about Kelsey. Forgetting all about Cynthia and her stupid vendetta against me. Forgetting everything but him.
He feels so warm, so comforting. He feels like home, like how my mom used to feel. I snuggle deeper into his arms, his silence bringing me solace.
“As much as I love holding you, I would rather do it in a more comfortable position.” My stomach growls, reminding us both I am starving. “And we need to get you fed.”
I lift my head, sniffling quietly. “You also owe me some answers,” I say, my voice no longer angry.
Getting out of the car and heading up the steps, Aster’s face crumbles, his eyes guarded and scared. “Everything is yours, Serena, and that includes my past.”
The wind whistles behind us as the door shuts, the air heavy as Aster’s past surrounds us.