Page 27

M y steps wavered as I carried the basket.

There was no way I could do it … yet I had no choice.

I was about to kill a man, and not just any man, but Lord Embers—Devrix.

He was an Ashlora, but I wanted to believe him when he told me he wasn’t evil like Jesmine—and I think he convinced me that was true.

But the fact was, Jesmine would likely kill me if I didn’t kill him.

It was an impossible choice. A choice that made my blood hum with anxiety and a hard knot of fear lodge itself in my throat.

When I made it to the final hallway, a wave of nausea forced me to brace myself against the wall. Crouching over, I took deep breaths. In ... out ... in ... out . . . Just do it and be done with it. I’ll give him the drink and leave before I have to witness its effects.

I tilted my head up. The tapestry of the owl, with its scrutinizing gaze, was mounted above. The owl peered down; a judge witnessing a murderer plotting their crime.

If I poison him, I become the murderer I have been judged to be. All those insults and nasty assumptions will be proven true. I would be responsible for the end of another’s existence. … And if I don’t do it, it will cost me—maybe my own life.

I turned away and continued on.

Stopping before Lord Embers’ skillfully carved door, I looked down at my trembling hands. Muffled voices sounded on the other side—he had company. A perfect excuse to return to Jesmine without delivering the ‘gift’.

But before I could step away, the door swung open and Jarrett appeared in front of me. “Nova,” he started, surprised to see me standing there.

I swallowed hard and straightened my spine. “I’m here for Lord Embers.”

Devrix appeared behind Jarrett. They both regarded my presence and the basket slung on my arm.

“Thank you again, Jarrett.” Devrix pat Jarrett on the shoulder, bidding him farewell. The Eccentrik ducked away.

A generous smile reached the corners of Devrix’s eyes as he turned his attention to me. “Nova, to what do I owe this pleasure?”

“I was sent to deliver a gift from Lady Jesmine.” I rallied up a stiff grin.

“Oh.” His eyes widened for an instant. “Well, please come in.” He motioned me forward, shutting the door behind us.

The room smelled of rich tobacco. Several papers were spread over the desk at the far side of the room, as if a meeting had been taking place.

“In fact,” Lord Embers continued. “I was hoping I would get to see you again during this visit.”

“You were?”

“Yes, I have something of interest to share with you. But please, you continue first.”

“Thank you.” I braced myself. “If you would have a seat, I can deliver your gift as Lady Jesmine instructed.”

He nodded, slanting a quizzical brow at my instruction, but obeyed, sitting in the burgundy chair he seemed to favor.

I set the basket on the small table and lifted the flap to find a book and the bottle of spirits.

The book was bound in dark leather, the pages well-worn.

Pulling it out, I realized it wasn’t just any book, but one of Jesmine’s journals with her initials among the embossing.

Of course Devrix would be interested in the contents, even I was curious to look.

I kept moving, knowing that if I stopped, I wouldn’t be able to go through with it. I brought the journal over to where he waited. “Lady Jesmine said this was a gift for you.” The tightness in my throat made it hard to push out the words.

He eyed the journal suspiciously as I handed it over. Then he silently began to peruse its contents.

Returning to the basket, I faced my back toward Devrix to conceal my shaky hands.

I uncorked the bottle of amber liquid and poured a splash into a crystal glass included in the carrier.

Slowly, I replaced the cork … and picked up the drink.

The liquid rippled in a nervous rhythm as I held the glass.

Swallowing down my nerves, I forced a smile and poised myself to face Devrix. “Lady Jesmine said this is one of your favorites,” I noted, walking over and setting the drink on the table beside him.

A look of confusion troubled his face as he scanned the first few pages, but when he shifted his gaze up, it was gone. “This is … a very unexpected gift from Lady Jesmine,” he said. “I wonder what inspired her to send it.”

“I am not sure, my lord. I am only the messenger.” The words spilled forward effortlessly. Am I really this person? Someone capable of manipulation to take a man’s life?

“Please, call me Devrix.” He smiled. “Would you like to join me for a drink? Or maybe something to eat?”

“I shouldn’t,” I said, gathering the empty basket to leave.

I just need to leave. I can do this. … Right?

“Is something wrong?” He asked.

“No, nothing. Just tired.” Another lie.

“Ok then.” He nodded. “As I mentioned, I have some news I’d like to share with you before you go.” He set down the journal and rose to his feet, approaching me near the table.

I tilted my head, unsure what in the skies he would have to share with me.

“I had a messenger visit Fernton,” he began. “And asked them to inquire how your brother Clay is faring. Seeing as you seemed concerned about his well-being when we last spoke, I thought you would appreciate the update.”

“You … you what?” I stepped forward, eager to hear the news.

Devrix’s eyes lit up. “It seems he is doing very well for himself. He was selected for an apprenticeship at the Donnly trade school. Apparently, he is excelling in academics and wants to study architecture.” My spirits lifted.

Devrix continued, “Now, I wasn’t able to get anything more than the basics, but overall, I would say you have no reason to worry. ”

“He is …” My throat tightened, but this time it was to hold back tears of joy.

“That’s wonderful! Thank you!” I stepped forward and wrapped my arms firmly around him.

Devrix was warm and solid, smelling of wood-smoke and sage.

A new flush of heat rose, and my pulse quickened as I realized what I had done—yet I found myself not wanting to pull away.

Devrix’s broad hand rested firmly in the middle of my back. I soaked it in for only a moment before retreating.

Clay is doing well . An apprenticeship!

Happiness blanketed me; my cheeks pinched with glee. Then my stomach dropped—I remembered the purpose of my presence in his room.

“Thank you, Devrix.” I tried to clear the emotion from my throat as I looked him in the eye. “I wish you knew how much this means to me.”

My brother is well, making a start for himself, albeit without me. And here I am, about to kill the man that has been kind enough to seek that information out. A man who has gone out of his way, simply to ease my worry.

Devrix placed a gentle hand on my arm. “I’m happy I could help.” For a long moment, we stood, unmoving, eyes fixed. A warmth spread from his touch.

I felt myself step closer, the scent of him returning. Our bodies almost flush. I could hear the wisp of his breath.

“Nova, I …” His throat bobbed. There was so much emotion behind his gray eyes, so much kindness and affection. How had I ever doubted his intentions?

His lips slowly parted. My breathing stilled.

And then my reckless heart guided me up on to my toes. I pressed nearer as he leaned in. And when my eyes drifted closed, his soft lips met mine.

When he realized I didn’t pull away, he deepened into the kiss, pressing his lips firmly against mine.

The gesture melted something inside me. I shifted my weight, placing a hand on his chest.

Pulling back enough to take a shaky breath, I opened my eyes, only to find his sparkling like quartz. A hand caressed my cheek, and I couldn’t help but lean into his touch, the sensation so comforting.

“Can I get you to reconsider staying for a bit, maybe a celebratory toast for the cheerful news?” His voice was deep, gaze transfixed, like he had discovered something precious.

I nodded and made my way over to the offered chair, sitting across from him as he poured me a drink from the amber bottle.

Turmoil sliced at my heart. How can this be happening?

He cares and trusts me … yet I am about to betray all of that.

Devrix’s life is the price to be paid if I wanted to ensure the safety of my own.

Handing me the glass, he sat, reached for his own and motioned for a toast. “To our friendship and a bright future for our loved ones.”

The glass lifted to his lips.

“Stop!” I screamed, rising from my chair, simultaneously knocking the drink from his hand. It crashed to the ground, spilling on the rug.

I placed my drink down on the table.

In that split second, I had decided—what was left of my life was not worth that of the Ashlora man’s before me. I am not a murderer.

“It’s poisoned,” I confessed, my voice but a whisper.

A shadow flashed across his eyes, the gray intensifying. I took a step back from his chair, suddenly aware of how close I was to his grasp.

He stood, rising before me. A deep line creased his brow as he surveyed me, no doubt as disgusted with my behavior as I was.

“Leave. Now.” His voice was low and demanding.

Tears burned at the back of my throat, but I would not release them.

His expression hardened. I left the basket and skirted to the door, tension heavy in the air.

Never shifting from his rigid stance, Devrix tracked me. Looking back over my shoulder, I lingered, then pulled the door closed between us.

My mind turned as I descended the stairs. There was nowhere for me to hide. Jesmine would find out I gave her away and punish me. Lock me in a cell until my service was over and then finish the soul burning she’d started before.

But had I poisoned Devrix, there would have been no relief from the guilt—I wouldn’t have deserved it either. I didn’t kill him because I wouldn’t have been able to live with the shame.

Shame was a sensation I was all too familiar with.

I had been living with it for years. It was a mess of something nagging and caustic that had been eating at my spirit every day since I’d left that man’s cold and lifeless body to sit alone in the alley.

I decided I could not live with any more of it.

Not killing Devrix was my decision, not a turn of fate.

Whether it changed the outcome for me remained to be seen, but it mattered to him.

I just handed my life over for an Ashlora.

Not even an hour had passed when, sitting in my room, footsteps sounded from the hall. My door swung open. A very disgruntled looking Arden appeared. “What happened?” he demanded.

“You mean with Lord Embers?”

“Yes, I mean with Lord Embers, Nova!” Voice raised, he did nothing to hide his scowl.

“I couldn’t do it.” I rose to my feet, not about to cower from my decision.

“Slips,” he cursed. “What do you mean, you couldn’t do it?” He shifted anxiously and ran his hand through his hair before turning back to me. “He is an Ashlora. You should be happy to get rid of any of them.”

“I’m not a murderer!” I declared, stepping closer.

“You weren’t given a choice.” He ground out.

Unmoving, we stood at an impasse, neither willing to back down. “You directly disobeyed Jesmine. What do you think is going to happen now?”

“My fate is sealed regardless.”

He chewed on my response, eyes traveling the length of me. “You judged me for being with Jesmine and here you are protecting Lord Embers—who is also an Ashlora in case you need reminding.”

“It’s not the same. … Jesmine is a monster,” I spat.

“And Lord Embers isn’t?” He scoffed. “You’re a fool if you believe that.” He grabbed the handle and slammed the door, shutting me in my room.

Sour words hung in the air.

The solid thud of a bolt sounded from the door and I rushed forward. The handle didn’t move.

“Arden!” I slammed my fist against the door and called out to him again. “Arden!”

Nothing. He was gone.

I was locked in.

I sunk to my cot. Arden’s words dug in, sparking a momentary feeling of uncertainty. I’d just doomed myself. Was Devrix really the man he revealed himself to be, or was I being a fool?

Playing back the look in Devrix’s eyes and the tender way he brushed my cheek. It had felt so right. My heart believed him—I just didn’t know if it was wise to listen.

The hurt that flashed across his face after I revealed the spirits were poisoned. The look of anger … betrayal. I’d all but brought the poison to his lips. Any feelings I held for him didn’t matter, there would be no recovering from this. Not that it mattered, my end was certain.

I pulled the thin pillow over my head, placing myself in the darkness of the world around me. A darkness I belonged in, after all.