Page 38 of The Bastard Heir (The Gilded West #2)

Castillo knew at that moment that whatever barriers he was trying to keep between them would crumble beneath the force of her. He loved her. There was no maybe. He loved her. But he needed to keep her safe. That was the most important thing. And she wouldn’t be safe with him.

Tanner cleared his throat. “What do you plan to do about this situation?”

Castillo shook his head, still no closer to an answer. “The safest place for her is far away from me.”

Prudence stepped out the front door and drew up short when she saw them. “My apologies for interrupting, gentlemen. Caroline’s parents have asked to speak with you.”

***

Caroline couldn’t sit there any longer and fidget under her parents’ scrutiny.

She rose and paced near the bookshelves on the opposite side of the room.

It kept her parents from staring at her and for a few minutes that was enough.

Then she started thinking of how angry Castillo had looked when she’d last seen him.

Would he be angry when he came to the study?

She didn’t know what would happen and started fidgeting all over again.

The only thing she did know was that she didn’t want to face him for the first time since the incident with her parents present.

She wanted to talk to him alone first. With that goal in mind, she slipped out the door of the study and waited in the shadowed hallway.

It was quiet and she hoped that Emmy had herded all the guests off to bed.

She didn’t have to wait long before she heard their boots clicking on the hardwood floor.

Squaring her shoulders, she held her breath as Mr. Jameson, Castillo and Aunt Prudie came around the corner. Mr. Jameson inclined his head and gave her a gentle smile.

“I’d like to speak with Castillo alone for a minute first.” Caroline let her gaze float to each of them, briefly taking in Castillo’s unreadable expression, before looking back at Mr. Jameson. “If that’s all right,” she added.

Mr. Jameson looked to Aunt Prudie, who nodded. “I think that’ll be fine, dear. You have a lot to talk about. Don’t keep them waiting too long, though.” When Caroline gave her agreement, Mr. Jameson opened the door for her aunt, and then followed her inside the room.

Caroline’s breath nearly squeezed from her chest when they were left alone in the hallway. She wasn’t certain of what to say now, but she didn’t have to wait long for Castillo to start.

“Why did you do that?” The words were low and rough, pulled from deep in his chest.

She wanted to hold him, but held herself back. “I didn’t know how much he knew. I didn’t want anyone to suspect you.”

“That’s not your concern.”

She frowned up at him. “How can you think that it’s not my concern? I’m not the only one who feels what’s happening between us…am I?” What if she was? She didn’t think that was true, given how he looked at her and touched her, but what if it was?

He stared down at her, unmoving in his anger, and she didn’t know what to think. Finally, he relented, and a little bit of the tension left his shoulders. “No, you’re not the only one, but it doesn’t matter. This can’t happen, Carolina. No matter how I feel or how you feel, we can’t happen.”

She nodded, a little relieved that his objection wasn’t an emotional one. If it was simply an issue of logistics, then she could understand. “I know that it won’t be easy. I know we’re not an ideal couple, but I think we can figure it out.”

He exhaled a breath and shook his head. “You don’t understand.”

“What is there to understand? I—”

He took her hand and laced his fingers with hers before pulling her farther down the hallway, away from the study doors. His boots thumped over the thick rug and he turned his back to the rest of the world, blocking her in against the wall.

“I’m a wanted man.” He kept his voice low.

“Oh, that.” She nearly laughed because she thought he was going to say something far worse. “I think, once the facts are known, that the shootout will be seen as justifiable. You were defending yourself. But as of now, no one knows about it, and I won’t tell anyone you were involved.”

It was too shadowed in the hallway to see his eyes clearly, but he stared down at her so intensely she was certain that she was missing some vital piece of information.

His next words confirmed it. “It’s not just the shootout.

That’s bad enough, but there have been others.

I’m the leader of a gang known as the Reyes Brothers. Have you heard of us?”

She searched her memory but couldn’t remember reading about them in the newspaper. “No. What do you mean by gang?”

“The hacienda was in trouble before my grandfather was murdered. There were rustlers, hired by ranchers in the area, taking our cattle and selling them across the border. I, along with some of our hands, went and took them back. Pretty soon we were being hired by other small ranches for protection, and the lines began to get blurred. Then Derringer entered the picture and I’ve spent the past few years looking for him.

We’ve made enemies and sometimes we’ve had to kill those enemies.

Sometimes self-defense looks a lot like murder. ”

At some point her heart had begun to pound so hard against her ribs she thought it might actually try to force its way out of her chest. He was telling her he was a bad man, but what she had seen with her own eyes was completely different. “I don’t believe you’re bad.”

“Carolina, I’m telling you I’m a very bad, very dangerous man. It’s the truth.”

She touched his cheek to keep her connected to him.

No matter what he said, he was the same man who had been so tender with her.

Though she couldn’t see them now, every time she looked into his eyes, she saw an honest man.

“I believe that you think that. But I only know what I see with my own eyes. You aren’t a bad person, Castillo. You’re kind and brave and honorable.”

He sighed, and she sensed even more of the tension leave his body.

“None of that will save you from the bad things that I’ve done.

I can’t bring you into my life. It’s too dangerous.

” He brushed a strand of hair back from her cheek and tilted her head up a little.

“If you’re connected to me, Derringer could find you and use you against me. I can’t allow that to happen.”

“It’s too late for that. I’m already connected to you.” Whether anyone else knew it, she was connected to him far more deeply than she’d ever realized was possible. When he hurt, she hurt. It was why she’d opened her mouth to protect him without even thinking through the consequences.

He groaned and slanted his mouth over hers, driving his tongue into her mouth in a kiss of possession that left her breathless.

Careful of his wound, she curled her arms around his shoulders and pressed closer to him.

Already his body was so familiar to her, a safe place where she felt protected and loved.

When he pulled back, they were both breathing hard, his hand warm on her hip, while the fingers of his other hand wrapped lightly around the nape of her neck.

Finally, he spoke. “You’re right. You’re already connected to me, and it’s too late to change that.” Taking a deep breath, he added, “Then I suppose you need to decide what you want to happen now.”

She was too dazed from his kiss to think clearly. “What do you mean?”

“We have two options.” He waited for her to meet his gaze before continuing, and his fingers tightened on her a little. “We walk in there and tell your parents we’re getting married, or you leave here a compromised woman.”

Her mouth dropped open in a silent gasp. “Married?”

Castillo nodded, the pad of his thumb running over her bottom lip.

“Yes. The way I see it when the guests leave here they’ll take their gossip with them and our names will be connected whether we want them to be or not.

Derringer could hear about it and come for you.

At least with my name—the Jameson name—I hope you can be protected. ”

Oh. She didn’t know why, but her heart fell a little. Their marriage would be for her protection and nothing more. He must have seen her hesitation, because he hurried to continue.

“I’ll make certain nothing stands in the way of your going to school.”

She nodded.

“Do you think your parents will approve of me?” he asked.

She remembered his uncertainty that first night in her room, and it nearly broke her heart. “My father likes you, Castillo.”

He caught her omission and prompted, “And your mother?”

“She likes you, too, but she’s a traditionalist. And you’re a Jameson and not Boston Society.”

He nodded. “I have money for tuition. Tanner bought a silver mine in my name. I used some of the profits to pay for Miguel’s tuition, and I would gladly use it for you.”

She nodded and looked down, but he gently tipped her face back up with his fingers on her chin. “Carolina?”

“So it would be a marriage of convenience…as they say?” She tried to smile but was certain whatever she’d mustered fell far short.

“If that’s what they name it.” He nodded. “I just want you to know that you’re taken care of.”

She didn’t know why she was hesitating. It was the perfect solution to her problems and she was already half in love with him.

Pain twisted her heart and she had to admit the truth.

No. She was in love with him all the way.

That was why she hesitated. Could she stand to have him—but not have all of him?