Page 49 of The Baron’s Reluctant Bride (Marriage Mart Scandals #4)

“Anthony, I am of the opinion that you are allowing your doubts hold you back.” His voice was clear and direct, earning a glare from his friend.

A sincere expression etched the captain’s face and he continued.

“You mustn’t allow your fears and doubts keep you from doing what is required of you.

I mean, surely you don’t think you could possibly stay hidden forever without carrying out your social duties. ”

The Earl scoffed lightly. He knew Henry’s words were well-meaning but nevertheless, it had struck a chord in him. His fists clenched and his brows drew together in a knot.

The tension grew, but in Anthony’s mind, all he could hear in his ears were the screams of his crew, in pain, dying, calling out to him for help.

“Anthony, dear, let us not forget how your grandfather and father ensured to maintain the long-standing connection and relationship this family has with the Durendale. It would be a shame if you cannot continue to uphold that relationship,” Lady Farraway said.

Anthony well knew only too well, despite the lack of austerity in her tone, that she was in earnest regarding her sentiments.

“Refusing their Graces’ invitation would be deemed a slight. ”

“And we do not want that now,” Blanche added, sipping her coffee.

Anthony winced. “No. Of course, I would not want that.”

The dowager Countess smiled. “Very well then. So, we shall attend together, as a family.” Her smile widened into a sly one and she returned her attention to her plate, but Anthony didn’t miss the look in her eyes.

“You may well find it an entertaining and enjoyable experience. Take note that many young, eligible ladies – some debutantes too – will be in attendance. I trust you shall not be bored in the slightest.”

Anthony held back a scoff. His grip around his cup tightened, so hard that his knuckles turned white and the veins on the back of his hand stretched.

In his head, he considered how rude it would be if he got up now and decided he was done with breakfast. His very heart constricted in his chest and a lump grew in his throat.

He released his hand from the cup but kept it in a tight fist on his lap.

Courtship and socialising with the young ladies of the ton was not something he spent his time thinking about.

It was not too hard to understand why. At least, so he thought.

Love—the idea of settling down—was lost on him.

How could it be possible for him to contemplate courtship when his every waking moment was haunted by The Ghost of Anthony’s Past?

How could it even be feasible to lay his soul bare to someone when it was burdened with so much grief-stricken pain?

Anthony released a sigh and decided to focus on his now cold eggs.

“When shall we visit the modiste for our gowns, Mama?” Blanche asked, her voice tinged with excitement. “I shall like a blue gown, or perhaps a lilac one.”

“This week seems perfect, dearest,” Lady Farraway replied, placing a hand over her daughter’s. “Lilac would look spectacular on you.”

Blanche beamed.

Anthony watched them converse about the latest styles with so much eagerness that it warmed his own heart. The hope in their eyes, the lightness of their voices, it all made his resolve seem not so strong anymore.

His family had stood by him through his roughest days and they had been there to support him every step of the way.

They had endured his brooding moods, his decision to withdraw from society and his decision to not seek a wife all this while.

But even he had to wonder, how much longer could they bear it all?

How much longer would it be fair if he chose to drag it out?

He might not consider matrimony in the near future, but he could at least afford them some semblance of order and propriety in other regards. This summer party could be the first start.

He cleared his throat, ignoring the nauseating feeling stirring in the pit of his stomach. All eyes fell on him with anticipation.

Anthony hesitated at first. “I shall attend the house party at Durendale,” he said.

His declaration earned a relieved and impressed look on his mother’s face. Blanche squealed and clapped her hands delightfully. Henry, who still had that understanding expression in his eye, gave his cousin a supportive nod.

“It is indeed wonderful that you have decided so, cousin,” he stated, “I shall be at your side throughout. No doubt you will need someone to temper the tension a bit. Deem me, if you will, a salve to ease your discomfort should you find yourself trapped in a strained conversation.”

Anthony gave a nod in appreciation. “Thank you, Henry.”

“Oh, how delightful,” Lady Farraway chimed in, the corners of her eyes crinkling. “We will surely have a splendid time.”

Anthony didn’t argue. He hoped that they would genuinely have an enjoyable time. By ‘ they’, he meant the rest of his family. As for himself, he didn’t intend to raise his hopes far higher than they needed to be.

When breakfast ended, everyone dispersed to attend to their own personal schedules. Except the Earl.

Anthony remained seated, his eyes unable to stop staring at the dark liquid that remained in his coffee cup. It had assuredly lost all its warmth.

His thoughts were consumed by the upcoming house party.

It was to be his first social outing in a long time.

He was reminded of how much of these kinds of events he had to attend if he wasn’t held back by the haunting ghosts of his past. The unfortunate predicament from that night had affected his life more than he had ever imagined possible.

Try as he might not to think about them, it was arduous.

Anthony leaned back in his chair and tipped his head back to rest on the rail of the chair, letting out a breath.

He knew, deep down, that his family had been patient enough.

He could spend all his time worrying and wondering if he’d ever be free from the prison that was his mind, or he could focus on being the man his family needed him to be.

It was time he bore the weight of his rightful duties and obligations.