Page 14

Fourteen

“ R ath…”

He groaned, rutting against me, his hips grinding in just the right way to make me moan. It’d been three days since the shadowstalker came after me, and he still refused to go on another hunt. He’d have to eventually, but whenever anyone brought it up, he dragged me back to the tent and we ended up like this, wrapped around each other in a sweaty, sticky heap.

A familiar tingle at the base of my spine told me I wasn’t going to last much longer. I tried to hold back, but it was just too good, and when I came with a cry, Rath was always quick to follow me, painting my skin with his release.

We both fought for breath, clinging to each other. I didn’t think I’d ever get sick of this, it was too perfect, but I was starting to wonder why we never did more. I’d heard rumors, mostly from my brothers, about things men did together. They always spoke of it with disgust and horror, but I found it intriguing. I wanted to ask Rath about it, he was obviously more experienced than me, but I was too embarrassed. Besides, I didn’t want to remind him constantly of my inexperience. I wanted to be good enough for him.

“Brother!” a familiar voice called from outside the tent. “We must go!”

Verus was smart enough not to poke his head in, but it didn't stop Rath from growling loud enough for him to hear. “How long were you listening to us?”

“If you wished to be discreet, you did a poor job of it,” was Verus’s teasing reply as his footsteps moved away from the tent. I felt my cheeks flush, and I wanted to pull the blankets over my head, but I also didn’t want Rath to move. I clung to him instead, burying my face against his neck.

“Where are you going?”

His sigh was resigned, and he hugged me tighter when he muttered, “To hunt. I must. It’s my duty to the clan.”

When I first met him, he was excited to share all the details of his job in the clan. He showed off his knives with pride and the first words he taught me outside of the clan hierarchy were words about hunting. The reluctance in his voice made me frown now.

“What’s wrong? I thought you loved to hunt.”

His grip on me tightened and for a moment, I thought he wouldn’t reply, but he eventually admitted, “I can’t bring you with me. I can’t have you in danger again.”

Ah. While I hated being separated from him, I had to agree with him. I didn’t belong out there. I wanted to do something to support the clan, earn my keep as it were, but I didn’t think hunting would be the way I would do that. And I could hear it in his voice that Rath would be too stressed having me out there anyway.

“That’s okay. I’ll wait here for you.”

I thought he’d be relieved, but he still didn’t release me. If anything, he clung to me harder, his beard tickling my neck in his attempt to hide away. I hated how upset he was, but I absolutely adored how willing he was to be vulnerable with me. He was upset and while he didn’t look me in the eye, he did show me with his actions how he felt about it.

Another rub gave me goosebumps, and I couldn’t stop the snicker that escaped me. “Rath,” I complained, poking his side. “You’re tickling me.”

He grunted, pulling away enough to look at me. “You say this as though it would make me stop.”

“Huh?”

Instead of answering, he buried his face again, this time purposely scraping his beard on my neck. I squirmed and laughed, helpless to get away with him pinning me with his big body. He only stopped when I was breathless and close to tears from laughing so hard. This time, when he lifted his head, he looked a little lighter, though there was still apprehension in his eyes. I trailed my fingers over his face, urging him to speak to me.

“What’s wrong?”

“I do not wish to bring you with me, but I like leaving you even less. I do not know what to do.”

I melted at his sweet confession, cupping his face and lifting up enough to kiss him. He leaned into it, seeking my comfort, and when I pulled away, he leaned his forehead against mine, his brow furrowed with worry.

“How about this? I’ll go to the field with Godr while you are gone. If I need to go anywhere, I’ll ask him to go with me. That way, you know I’m safe and looked after and can focus on staying safe yourself.”

It wasn’t the same as staying by his side, but I figured it was a suitable compromise. And Rath seemed to agree. He was reluctant, but it was enough to get him out of bed and moving. And I would keep my promise. I wouldn’t go anywhere without Godr beside me. I didn’t want to be the reason Rath was distracted.

We cleaned up and got dressed, and Rath led me to Godr, giving his brother a stern warning about watching me before he forced himself to go. Godr watched with amusement, raising an eyebrow at me once he was out of sight.

Pointing a finger at him, I frowned. “Be nice.”

He chuckled, putting his hands up in surrender. “I am a very nice brother. It is just fun to see him so flustered. He is the calm one. He needed to be shaken up a bit.”

I wrinkled my nose, following him into the field where the horses were grazing. “I don’t like shaking him up. I don’t want him distracted out there. He could get hurt.”

The worry ate at me and I chewed on my lip, staring at the forest we’d been hunting in together a few days before. If he wasn’t focused, what were the chances that another shadowstalker could come after him. Zoya explained why they were so dangerous. They weren’t the biggest or anything, but once they decided to hunt something, they wouldn’t let it go until they got their prey. The shadowstalker would’ve kept coming for me until it found me. That’s why Rath panicked when I described it to him. He knew I wouldn’t be safe until he killed it.

Godr’s hand rested on my shoulder and when I glanced up at him, his expression was full of understanding. “Rath is a good hunter. The best. He will return to you. Try not to worry so much.”

Easier said than done. But I nodded along and followed him to a spot where I could watch him train the younger horses while staying out of the way. And I kept my promise to Rath, staying by Godr’s side until he returned to me, safe and sound.

“You look deep in thought.”

I blinked up at Godr, coming back to the moment. I hadn’t actually been thinking about anything important. I got bored watching him for the fourth day in a row, and ended up daydreaming about how Rath woke me up that morning. He’d wrapped his large fist around both our erections, stroking them together. I’d come so embarrassingly fast, I think it shocked even him. But instead of letting me wallow about it, he had me help him stroke himself until he came on my stomach. Both experiences were new and unbelievably sexy. I wanted to figure out a way to surprise him too, but I worried I’d be too awkward because of my inexperience or do something wrong that he wouldn’t like.

“Is Rath back yet?”

He smirked, shaking his head, and offered me a flask of water. “You were looking a little flushed. Is it too warm in the sun?”

“Not at all,” I replied before realizing what I’d said. Godr didn't miss the meaning, though.

“Oh? So then, what’s got you so flushed?” His tone was teasing, but I stiffened anyway, and his face fell when he noticed my fear. He squatted in front of me, tipping his head. “What’s wrong?”

“I…” I bit my tongue. The last time I talked to someone about my desires, my entire life fell apart. I didn’t want the same to happen with these people. Each day, it felt more and more like home. I didn’t want to lose them.

“You know you can talk to me, Finn. I am not loose lipped.”

I knew that. He’d been kind to me since I started staying with him during the day. He even let me help sometimes. He had another clan member build me a step so I could better reach and taught me to brush the horses’ manes. I liked it, it was relaxing, and it made me feel useful after I’d told him I didn’t like not doing my part.

But this wasn’t about the clan or my place here. I wasn’t comfortable discussing intimacy with anyone. Not even Rath. I was too scared.

“Is it my brother? Let me guess, he snores and you don’t know how to tell him.”

A smile tugged at my lips, and I shook my head quickly. “He does not.”

“No?” Godr pretended to be thoughtful. “He did when we were young. I thought he was a beast from the forest come to steal me from my bed with all that noise.”

Laughing, I tossed a handful of grass at him. “You hush! You did not!”

He nodded solemnly, his face full of mock sorrow. “I did. It was horrible. I was grateful when he got his own tent. But then it was too quiet without him. I could not win.”

My shoulders shook with my silent laughter, and some of the tension eased. Godr was nothing like my brothers. He teased and joked, but he was never cruel about it. And he seemed to care genuinely about Rath’s happiness.

Sitting beside me, Godr bumped my shoulder, raising his eyebrows at me. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

Biting my lip, I stared at my lap, twisting my fingers anxiously. “It’s not… I shouldn’t discuss it.”

“Is it about the person who attacked you? Are they bothering you again?” he asked more seriously.

I got the feeling he wouldn’t let this go like Rath would. And I didn’t want him mentioning it to Rath. So despite my trepidation, I blurted it out.

“I want to please Rath!” My face flushed bright red, and I ducked my head, refusing to look at him.

“Did he say he was displeased with you?” Godr asked, confused.

I shook my head, but still couldn’t look at him. “N-No. Not like that. I mean, um… I want to please him… in bed…” I barely muttered out the words, so embarrassed, I thought I might burst into flames.

“Oh. Oh!” He chuckled as he finally realized what I meant. “I’m sure you don’t have a problem with that. I’ve heard the talk of the sounds coming from your tent.”

Horrified, I whipped my head up to look at him. “W-What?”

He shrugged. “It is not as though the walls of the tents are thick. Most don’t bother to be quiet. Why hide that we are enjoying ourselves?”

To him, maybe, it was normal to overhear such things, but for me, it was beyond embarrassing. I honestly hadn’t thought about it before now. I wasn’t sure what was worse, knowing people heard us, or knowing it’d happen again. Soon. Rath had a… healthy appetite, and took me as often as he had spare time. Especially since the shadowstalker attack. Like he needed frequent reminders that I was there and safe.

“Why do you think you don’t please him?” Godr asked, distracting me from his horrifying revelation.

I winced. “It’s not… I don’t think he’s unhappy with what we’ve done… I just… I’m… inexperienced. I don’t know how…” I trailed off.

“Ah. I understand now. Have you asked him? I’m sure he would be happy to teach you.”

“I, um… I wanted to surprise him. He’s usually in charge and–” I shrugged. “Nevermind. I shouldn’t be discussing this. I’m sorry. You can go back to your work. I’m fine.”

“No. I can help. After all, I am quite experienced in this area,” he said, waggling his eyebrows and bumping my shoulder. “Do you have questions, or should I just tell you things to try?”

Looking up at him, I felt my chest swell with relief and elation. This wasn’t like last time. He didn’t shame me or make me feel bad for asking such things. Godr actually wished to help me. I had to work hard not to burst into tears and hug him silly, I was so grateful. I couldn’t have that kind of relationship with my brothers, but Godr was Rath’s brother. If Rath chose to keep me, maybe I could have that relationship with my brother-in-law instead.