Page 34 of The Auction (The Black Ledger Billionaires #4)

I t’s late. Hours past when the city outside should have quieted, but I don’t hear a thing but her breathing.

We’re lying on our sides, facing each other, her head on my pillow, my hand lazily tracing the inside of her arm. She’s already given me three times tonight, and I’m still thinking about being inside her again. Hell, I’m always going to be thinking about it now.

I can’t get enough of her.

“You okay?” I ask softly. “Sore?”

She shakes her head and scoots closer, pressing her naked body against mine. “I’m perfect.”

I smile. “Yeah. Me too.”

The way she’s looking at me right now, fuck. I want to remember it forever.

“Can I ask you something?” I kiss the tip of her nose gently. She nods with a pleased smile.

“Why did you wait? Why didn’t you…with that cocksucker baseball dick?”

Cassidy laughs, hiding her face in my neck.

“You want me to tell you the truth?”

“No, I prefer a lie little Cricket.” I tease her.

“I never wanted to. I was never over you.” She rests her head on her hand and her words shoot into me. The other stroking along my chest. “And then I caught Bree and Matt fucking in my dorm room.”

“Fuck.”

“Yeah.” She lays back down. “He blamed me because I wouldn’t put out for him. Men have needs.” She mocks his voice.

“He’s a cock wipe.” I move a piece of hair behind her ear. “I”m sorry they hurt you.”

She takes a deep breath like she’s working up to something but stays quiet. I give her a second. Then she tries again.

“Can I ask you something?”

My hand slides over her back, slow and reassuring. “By now I’d hope you know you can tell me anything, Cricket.”

She dips her head, hiding her face against my chest. “You said… it had been a while?”

I can’t help the small smile that tugs at my mouth.

“So how long… is a while?” she asks, her voice muffled.

She’s still not looking at me, so I hook a finger under her chin and tilt her face up. “Look at me.”

“Six years.”

Her mouth parts in disbelief, her breathing picking up, and I know exactly where her mind’s gone. That night. The party. The frat house.

“Why?” she whispers. “Why haven’t you had sex in six years?”

I don’t even hesitate. “Because the girl I wanted hated me.”

She sits up, clutching the sheet to her chest, her eyes shining. “Why? Why didn’t you want me then?”

Her voice cracks, and the tears follow.

“No,” I murmur, reaching for her. “Shhh, Cricket.” I pull her back down, wrapping her tight against me. My hand strokes her hair until I feel her breathing steady, even if her body is still trembling.

I press my lips to her temple. “I wanted you so fucking bad, baby. And that was the problem.”

I can still see it like it was yesterday—her weaving through that crowded house, searching every corner, every face.

“I watched you looking for me,” I say quietly. “I knew I should’ve left before you found me, but I couldn’t. I just had to look into your eyes one time.”

Her breath catches, her lashes lowering.

“Then you were talking to that asshole at the party,” I mutter. “I’m the one who called the coach and told him his players were out getting drunk.” Sitting up a little to look at her.

She lets out a shocked laugh and smacks my chest. “You didn’t.”

I grin faintly. “I did. And I’m not sorry.”

Her smile softens, but it fades when I say, “Then you wanted to kiss me… and fuck, Cricket, I wanted to kiss you too. But Jonathan saw us. Thought something happened. And he reminded me why I needed to leave you alone.”

Her brows draw together. “Why?”

“Because I’m broken. Because I’d already fucked enough women and didn’t need to add my best friend’s sister to the list. Because I didn’t know what love looked like without someone punching you.”

She flinches at that. “That’s not true.”

I shake my head. “But I believed it, Cricket. Jon knew what my life was like before.”

I take her hand and guide her fingers to one of my tattoos, letting her trace it slowly. “He knew I covered cigarette burns my dad gave me with ink.”

Her voice is barely a whisper. “Jaxon…”

It breaks something in me.

“I didn’t want to love you the wrong way and ruin you,” I say. “I haven’t slept around like people think. I just don’t correct them because I don’t give a shit what they think.”

I turn my head so I can see her clearly, even in the low light. “But I care what you think, baby.”

Her eyes glisten, and she swallows hard.

“I wouldn’t have been strong enough to stay away from you if you’d kept coming around. And you were only seventeen. I wanted to give you a chance to let someone love you the right way, so I had to make you hate me.”

Her grip on me tightens.

“After you saw me with those girls… when I watched your heart break… I threw them out. I scrubbed myself raw in the shower and threw up.” My voice goes rough, heavy. “I hated myself for years. Maybe even hated myself until that auction.”

I cup her cheek, my thumb brushing over damp skin. “I’m sorry for what you saw. I hate that you saw it. I hate that day. I wish it never fucking happened.”

Her eyes are shining, her lips trembling, and she presses her forehead to mine like she’s trying to make up for every second we lost.

I cup her face in both hands, my thumbs brushing over damp cheeks. “I thought I couldn’t love you right,” I admit, my voice low and raw. “Because I was broken. Because all I knew was the kind of love that hurt. But I was wrong, Cricket.”

Her breath catches, her eyes shining in the low light.

“I can love you. I do love you. And no one—no one—will ever love you the way I do. No one will see you the way I see you. Every stubborn, smart, beautiful inch of you. You’re it for me. Always have been.”

Her lips tremble, and the tears come faster, sliding warm over my fingers. But she’s smiling through them, the kind of smile that steals my air.

“Don’t say it back,” I murmur, pressing my forehead to hers. “Not after tonight. Not after your first time. I don’t want tonight to confuse you. I just need you to know.”

Her chin wobbles, and I kiss her before she can answer—slow and deep, letting it linger until the ache between us shifts from heavy to hungry.

The kiss changes, turns sharper, needier. Closure blurs into passion until she’s tugging at me, urging me over her. I brace my weight on one arm, looking down at her, and she gives me that sly little smile.

“How many times can you go in a day?” she teases, her hand sliding between us.

The second her fingers wrap around me, I’m swelling in her palm, my cock hardening fast.

I smirk, my voice low. “I don’t know… but I’m more than happy to find out with you.”

Her laugh melts into a soft gasp when I kiss her again, my hips shifting until the head of my cock glides through her folds, hot and slick from the night we’ve already had.

Then I sink into her in one slow, steady push, her warmth pulling me under until I’m home.

Until she’s mine.