Page 9 of The Anguish of the Scottish Lairds (Clans of Mull #3)

Eva

Eva sat on the floor in the great hall, just outside her brother’s solar, where her two brothers argued on about some seed discrepancy, a topic she found totally uninteresting.

“Come, Goldie. Sit with me.” Absolutely enamored with her new plaything, Eva smiled when the wee hound ran straight for her, bounding onto her lap and landing in the middle of her skirt. Shadow followed, his nose pressing against the wee dog as if to tease it, then ran away in a wide circle.

Goldie responded, leaping off her lap and falling face-first because she’d misjudged the distance. Shadow rushed to the pup’s side, encouraging her to get up again, which she did, frolicking behind Shadow.

The two were such a delight to watch that Eva had been sitting ever since Taskill had gone inside the solar.

His voice carried to her now. “I’m telling you that there is not enough grain for everyone. I counted it out carefully this time, and Jasper confirmed my count. Your calculations must be wrong, Lennox.”

Lennox paced, the same way he always did while the newest member of the family, Meg, asked, “May I look at your calculations, husband?”

Lennox said, “Of course, sweeting.”

Jasper asked, “You can do numbers, my lady?”

“Better than any of us,” Taskill said. Eva knew he grinned from ear to ear when he made that statement. It tickled all of them that Meg was such a whiz with numbers, able to multiply and calculate in her head faster than any of them.

“I think there is a mistake here, Lennox,” she said.

Eva lifted her head, leaning back, that statement calling to her. Oh, how she would love to be in there to witness the horror on her eldest brother’s face at being caught in a mistake. She waited, ignoring the dogs for now, her mother coming down the stairway.

“Meg, you are correct. I did make a mistake. Let me look again, if you please.”

All was quiet while Lennox probably studied the paper over and over again before making a final decision, if she were to guess.

Lennox said, “I did. Let’s recalculate, and we’ll go into the storeroom and hand out more bags of grain to those who need it. My apologies to all, Taskill. Please tell them it was an honest mistake, that my head was clouded by this beauty in front of me.”

Taskill laughed and Meg giggled, but then the group left, all headed to the cellars.

Once they were alone in the hall, her mother called out to her, “Eva, how many times must I tell you that those dogs do not belong in the hall. Dogs belong outside.”

“But she’s just a baby, Mama.”

“A baby with fur that is getting everywhere. I see that no matter what I say, you’ll ignore me, so please would you at least confine the wee beasts to the area in the corner? I do not care to have dog hairs all over the bottom of my fine gowns. How I wish your sire were still here to set you straight, young lady.”

“I wish Da were still here too.” Eva sighed but got up and took the dogs over to the designated area, taking a blanket with her. “This is going to be Goldie’s bed. She needs something soft to sleep on.”

“Not your bed or I shall suffer apoplexy. She has something soft to sleep on. Shadow. They always huddle together. They’re animals.”

Rut approached, keeping her distance from the pups, choosing a chair close to the hearth. “Eva, have you thought more on Sloan Rankin’s proposal? He would be a good match for you. You should reconsider and accept it.”

“Nay, Mama. I’m waiting for the man Papa chose for me. I believe he will show up at my door someday. Then I’ll marry someone I love. And that’s not Sloan Rankin.”

“Oh, hog spit. Your father thought he would choose for you someday, but he was taken ill. He cannot choose for you, so trust your brother and me. You are well past marrying age, Eva, and you’ve mentioned no one. Are you sneaking off with a local guard and rolling in the hay in the stables?”

“Nay, Mama. How could you suggest such a thing?” Appalled by the comment, she had to admit that perhaps it was time for her to consider a roll in the hay.

“Listen, my dear. I’ve allowed you enough time to mourn your sire. You were Da’s wee lassie, his only one, and I know he spoiled you. But you’ve had enough time to recover. You will be an old spinster if you do not find someone to marry. Soon enough, no one will have you. Don’t you want bairns? If you wait too long, you won’t be able to have any.”

“I am not spoiled, Mama. Just because Papa loved me dearly, it does not mean I’m spoiled. I hate it when you say that. You say it so much that others say it too.” She knew it was true that her father gave in to her requests much quicker than her mother, causing her to approach her sire with nearly every request she had, but that didn’t mean she was spoiled. How she hated it when Alycia would call her that.

“Who would dare say my daughter is spoiled?” Her mother stood up and crossed her arms over her chest, something that did not bode well for whomever was not in her favor at the moment.

“No one specific. I’ve just heard from others.”

“What others?”

“It doesn’t matter.” She’d never tell her mother that her only friend Alycia had told her she was spoiled on multiple occasions. And she didn’t stop when Eva told her she didn’t appreciate it. There was something about Alycia thinking it was her own private joke. “Either way, you know Papa always said he knew who he wished for me to marry. That someday he would tell me. I believe his ghost watches over me and somehow, he will let me know who it is. I wish to wait.”

“How in blazes can he tell you when he’s not here? And if he had chosen someone for you, don’t you think he would have discussed it with me?”

“Nay, Da and I had private conversations.”

“Fine, keep your secrets.”

“There may be another way. There are seers living at Duart Castle. Suppose I ask Dyna or her daughter if they could talk to Da. Surely, they could reach him, and he’d pass the name on to me.”

“You will not go over there and bother the chieftain of Clan Grantham about talking to the dead.”

“What about Lia? They say she’s a faery. Mayhap she can tell me. I’m going to ask her the next time I see her.”

Her mother shook her head in exasperation. “There’s no talking any reason into you, lass. Fine. But I think you’ll be waiting a long time to hear anything from a dead man.” She dropped her arms and moved back to her chair, settling a fur over her lap. “Tell me why they would think you were spoiled. Has this mysterious person given you a reason for such a judgment?”

Eva knew the reasons, but she thought mayhap to keep it to herself, but then Goldie came almost up to her face and barked at her. As if the animal was telling her what to do. “All right, Goldie. I’ll tell. This person said that I have no responsibilities. That I don’t have to work like the others in the clan. That the mistress runs the keep and the servants and the cook, but I do nothing.”

“And what did you say?”

She didn’t like one bit that her mother’s tone had softened as if she saw some truth in Alycia’s cruel words. “I told her that I have many things to do. I take care of my own chamber. Now I am the caretaker of two dogs. And that I am learning archery.”

“You have learned to read and write, lass. Not many have.”

“You’re right, Mama. Many thanks to you.”

“Why don’t you read a book and tell me about it?”

She frowned. There weren’t many books about and the ones that were here were quite boring. “I’ve asked Lennox to try to locate more books, but he tells me he doesn’t know where to find any. I do love to read, Mama.”

“I know, dear. You used to read to your father whenever he was taken ill. He loved to hear your voice. He always believed you were a bright girl, that there would be many suitors clamoring for your hand.”

Eva scowled again, dropping the fabric animal she had that she used to play tug with Goldie. “No one has come but Sloan. What’s wrong with me, Mama?” She hated to ask because she feared the answer, but the question had dominated her mind for the past year. What was wrong with her? Why had no one but Sloan offered for her? She refused to consider the earl as a suitor. He was not interested in her, just with the womb in her belly. Was she long in the face, too homely, or too talkative? Alycia was always teasing her about her small breasts, though Eva didn’t think them that small. In her mind, they fit her just right.

“Naught is wrong with you. ’Struth is there are not many suitors of noble blood here on the isle. I’ve told Lennox we should take you to court, but he resists. Sloan is your best choice on the Isle of Mull, Eva. Think on it, please.”

Her mother set the fur aside and headed off toward the kitchens. “I’ll go check with Cook on the meals. Meg is doing a fine job learning her new tasks. She’s a bright lass as well. You should talk with her more.”

“Mama? Why didn’t you teach me some of her tasks? I would like to be useful, but you’ve always told me it was your job. I could have helped you. Could I not help Meg?”

Her mother stopped and tapped her foot, thinking. “I suppose that is my fault. I didn’t wish to burden you, but you are old enough. Let’s ask Meg if she would like your assistance. Think on which chore you would like. I know you are not good with numbers, but you could work with Cook or handle the linens or the cellars. What about the wine?”

None of those chores sounded the least bit appealing to her, so she said the only thing she could think of. “I’ll give it careful consideration.”

“You do that and let me know. And what about Clan Grantham? Is there not someone there you are interested in? There are plenty of Grant and Ramsay lads in this world. Surely one of them would appeal to you. They are all of noble blood.”

She thought of Broc, wondering why she hadn’t approached him the other day. She’d been too taken with her new pets. “I’ll talk with Dyna when I go for my next archery lesson.”

“I think that’s a fine idea, Eva. I must move along to my duties.” Her mother swirled her skirt as she turned, something Eva couldn’t begin to mimic.

That conversation left her feeling as though she had no worth at all.

Meg came up from the cellars, the men heading out the front door while Meg approached the hearth. “It’s so cold in the cellars. I have to warm my hands. Are you hale, Eva? You do not look well.”

“I’m fine. It was just the conversation with my mother that frustrated me.” She moved over to sit in a chair by the fire. Meg was close to her age and so she should understand her problems.

“Can I help?” Meg asked.

“I’m curious. How did you know that you were good with numbers? Did you work hard at making yourself good with them?”

Meg sat down and shook her head with a smile. “Nay. It came easily to me. Part of it was that I loved numbers.”

“You do? But why? They’re quite boring to me.”

Meg laughed. “Because they’re always true. They don’t change, they are fun to play with, and they are exact. You don’t need to think on anything with numbers. The truth is there for you, and they’ll never lie to you. And there’s something about their rhythm, the way they work together, the patterns are so intricate sometimes.” She ticked her fingers as she talked, staring into the fire. “Sometimes, when Mama gave us something to draw with, I made pictures based on numbers. The results were quite pleasing to me, though Tamsin often said she didn’t see it. I always like things to balance out evenly. Do you understand what I mean?”

“Aye. Both sides of your skirt must be the same length.”

“Exactly!” Meg smiled.

“How did you know to love numbers? And how did you become good with the axe? I keep trying to perfect my archery skills, but I’m quite terrible at it.” She’d tried so hard, but she nearly always missed the mark, her arrow flying wide.

“I didn’t know I was good at either. It just came about. You know what a young lass told me out in the forest one day?”

“You mean Lia?”

Lia had been kidnapped along with three other bairns, Magni, Rowan, and Tora. Meg had been stolen to care for them. They’d gotten away and traveled through the forest, headed for the port, finally running into Lennox who brought them all home. Lia was now six but at times spoke as though she were forty summers.

“Aye. Lia told me that the heavens know what your purpose will be, but they may not tell you until you need it most.”

Eva thought about that for a moment, then said, “Does that make sense to you?”

“It does. I didn’t think I was skilled at throwing an axe until I had to save the four bairns from that evil man. He came at us and something inside me said to throw it, and I did. He dropped instantly.”

“You mean you didn’t know you were good at axe throwing before then?”

“Nay, I did not. It was a total surprise to me. I’d done it before, so it was the only weapon I had to bring along with me when I ran away. I never planned to use it.”

“And the numbers? When did the heavens tell you that you had a special gift for them?”

Meg grinned. “The heavens never did. I learned numbers from my mother but never used them other than to play with in my mind. It was your brother who told me I was good at adding and calculating. I’ve used numbers more than ever, and I love using them.”

“So, the heavens didn’t tell you anything about numbers.”

Meg smiled and said, “Nay, but they sent your brother to me.” She stopped because her eyes misted, something that surprised Eva. “He was heaven sent, not the numbers.”

“And did you love him when you met him?”

“Oh, nay.”

“You didn’t?” Now this admission she found more interesting than anything else she’d heard this morn.

“Nay. I hated him. Ask your mother. I think she heard us arguing down near the boat launch. He tried to give me orders, and I didn’t like it. He told me I was ignorant, and I didn’t like that either.”

“Then how did you end up loving him?”

Meg shrugged. “I had to spend time with him, see all his good qualities. And he took care of me right from the start. Something I’d never experienced before. It didn’t happen right away. Be patient. Believe in what Lia tells you.”

“What would Lia say about finding a husband, one that I could love?”

“She would say that the heavens will find him for you when the time is right. She’d say not to worry.”

Somehow, Eva couldn’t quite believe that, but she knew one thing for certain. Whoever she was meant to be with, it would not be Sloan Rankin.