Page 31 of The Alternate Captain (Elite Hockey #3)

I get to Kelly’s place just after one in the morning. She left me a key under an old plant pot near the front door, so I let myself in as quietly as I can before slipping into her room.

I lose my clothes quickly, keeping just my boxers on as I slide into her bed, wrapping my arms around her and kissing her neck.

At least her window’s fixed, and it’s not completely freezing in here.

“Hey, Johnny,” she says, rolling over. “Are you okay?”

“I’ve been better,” I say.

“What happened?” She reaches for the lamp on the table next to her bed, flicking the switch, and letting her eyes adjust to the light. “What did you say to Parker?”

“He’s not going to say anything,” I say.

“Johnny—”

She’s thinking.

Overdrive.

“It’ll be okay. He won’t say anything. I told him that once things settle down for us, we’ll tell Bettsy. ”

She doesn’t look convinced, and she’d be right not to be. I had to beg for his silence, and he insisted on giving me a lecture. Kelly being ‘only’ nineteen was at the top of his list. According to him, she’ll likely fall in love easily and then cling on to me, but I don’t believe it.

“Honestly, babe, it’s fine. He’s a good guy. Besides, once I told him all about Sarah, he shifted his focus. I just have to figure out my next step.”

That bit wasn’t a lie. Ffordey called Sarah, and I quote, ‘a creature’.

“About Sarah. She sent me a message on social media, and she came to find me at your game. I spent the majority of it in the bar area—I’m still not ready to watch. I just thought you should know,” Kelly says.

“What did she say?”

“The message on socials was just a general note begging me to see sense and cut you out. And then at the game, she asked me if I needed help getting away from you. Nothing I couldn’t handle.”

I exhale, thanking the stars that I don’t even have to convince Kelly that Sarah is poison and manipulative. I don’t have to convince her that she can trust me.

But instead of pushing Sarah out of my head, I move onto my back and lay there, staring at the ceiling.

Thinking.

Thinking about everything she said to me. All the horrible things she would say to get under my skin.

Am I incapable of loving anyone? Because I don’t even know what I’m feeling right now. Angry, for sure, but not the same kind of anger I’m used to feeling. In fact, right now, I’m exasperated.

The more I lay here thinking, the more I allow myself to embrace my worries.

Highlight reel for Johnny:

Incapable of loving anyone, even his sister, apparently .

Incapable of having a sex-induced orgasm.

Incapable of having the balls to tell his best friend he’s been fucking his sister. That one really hits me.

“Johnny? Stay in the moment with me.” Kelly’s voice floats right into my ear, and then her hand is on my chest. Warm and calming.

Incapable of getting called up.

Incapable of being the son my dad wanted.

“Remember when we first started chatting, and I called you an old man?” She laughs, probably hoping that I will too. “Remember our first kiss, Johnny? I thought about it for weeks after and I—”

Incapable of being the boyfriend someone wants. And to think—she cheated on me with Charlie. And he had the audacity to accuse me of cheating with her. After all she put me through.

“Johnny?”

And then there’s Kelly.

Comforting. Funny. Beautiful inside and out. And driven. I love that she wants to carve her own way in the world—she doesn’t need anyone else.

“I thought about it, too,” I say, pulling myself back. “And I still think about it now. And... you know I wouldn’t cheat on you, right?”

“I know.”

“I wouldn’t—I...”

“I know, Johnny.”

I rub at the stubble on my face. Thinking.

Because even if I was the sort of person to cheat, it wouldn’t be with her.

I can probably list a load of things I’d rather do than go near her again.

And one of them has to be taking Ffordey’s place.

With no pads. Or a cup. I’d rather be pummelled with pucks to the head for sixty minutes than go near her again.

The thought alone has me laughing, well, chuckling to myself .

“Are you okay, Johnny?” she asks.

“What’s funny is Sarah being a problem in my life long after I ended things with her.

Honestly, Kelly—she made me feel so weak.

Even if she was the last person on the planet, I’d play an entire game naked between the pipes rather than go there with her.

And she has the audacity to have Charlie thinking that I would. I mean come on.”

And that’s when my floodgates open. Years of keeping it all locked in. Because I’d told myself it was weak to cry.

I was weak.

“She stopped me from seeing my friends. She used to control all my money, tell me what I could or couldn’t spend it on.

She used to tell me what I could wear, how I had to have my hair cut, and when I got offered the captaincy first, she told me I wasn’t allowed to take it because it meant that I’d be spending more time focusing on hockey.

You know what? I even found out she was piercing holes in a stack of condoms. I caught her doing it.

And when I first told her I was going to leave, she told me she’d kill herself if I did.

What’s someone supposed to do with that? ”

Kelly stares at me for a moment, then I sigh.

“I’m so sorry that you went through that, Johnny. I can’t imagine how that must have felt for you.”

“Well, sure. But the worst part is, she told me she loved me. Who does that to someone they love? I don’t even believe it exists if I’m being honest.”

I wrinkle my nose. “You don’t believe what exists?”

“Love.”

“Well, I think it does. And you make me feel really loved, Johnny.”

Silence takes over me once again. And Kelly, patient and brilliant, lets me cohere my thoughts.

What can I even say to that?

My entire body swims with emotion, and before I know it, I pull at her arm, tugging her onto me so she’s straddling my hips.

And of course, my dick is nestled right between her legs.

But I’m looking right at her. Taking her in.

Her pink lips that plump when she kisses me, and those adorable freckles, and her long deep auburn locks that are really fucking smooth and shiny.

And then she sits up straight and pulls off the T-shirt she’s wearing. One of mine. The ‘C’ distorting slightly when she pulls it over her perfect breasts.

“Are you with me, Johnny?” she asks.

And I am.

I’m fixed on her. Everything about her has me in a trance.

I’m in the moment, reaching up and cupping her face in my hands for a moment, then tracing them down the smooth skin of her body and cupping her boobs.

Watching in complete fascination as her nipples harden under my touch.

And she moans on me, and I can feel her rubbing her pussy against the bulge in my pants.

I adjust our position so I can push my boxers down, freeing myself, and feeling completely in the moment.

When she moves to shimmy down the bed, knowing that she’s likely planning on taking me in her mouth, I pull her back towards me, kissing her deep, letting our tongues meet as I smooth over her ass, feeling her skin hot under my hands.

“I need you,” I whisper right into her mouth as I pull back slightly. There’s a movement from her, and I feel the wetness of her pussy as her hands take my cock and push me inside her. Her panties are shoved to the side, and it’s hot and dirty, like she’s just as desperate for me.

My brain stops functioning as she sinks down onto me. The tightness. The heat. The fucking wetness. Everything about her has me prickling with excitement.

“Fuckkk,” she whispers as she sits back.

And I glance down between us, seeing our bodies together.

I run my palm all the way down from her neck, over her nipples, and right down to her clit, where I graze it with my thumb. And when she rocks back, shifting her hips slightly, creating a small motion, it’s enough to have me seeing stars .

There’s nothing about this that could get any better.

“That feels so good, Johnny,” she gasps. I grip her hip with my other hand and try to match her rhythm.

“You feel so fucking good riding my dick,” I say.

She moans and I feel shivers everywhere. I want to hear it again.

“Tell me how it feels for you,” I coax.

“Fuck, Johnny. You’re so deep—there. Right there.”

And there it is. That moan, just as I thrust up into her at an angle that has her pussy tightening around me.

“I’m going to come for you, Johnny,” she says. And those words.

She’s going to come.

For me.

Just for me.

“For me?” I find myself asking. “Are you going to come for me?” It’s barely a whisper.

“Yes, Johnny. I’m coming for you,” she says, just as her voice gives away a moan that causes my balls to pull tight.

And then there’s a feeling I’m sure I’m familiar with, but I’m not expecting.

Her name is on my lips and I’m coming. Right over the edge with her.

I’m coming hard, and the way her pussy tightens even more—I’m groaning.

Almost crying out in euphoria. Because it’s like nothing I’ve felt before.

“I love you, Johnny.”

Then her lips are on mine and we’re kissing. I’ve never been more in the moment than I am right now.

And then I’m crying. While my dick is still inside her. Because the moment is just so much, and I don’t know what else to do. Or what else to say. I don’t have any words.