Page 7 of The Alpha’s Hunger (Alpha Doms #1)
7
He dreamed Ashley was leaning over him, murmuring something seductive in his ear. She unbuttoned his jeans, her hand sliding into the opening and gripping his shaft.
He groaned out loud and the sound of his voice jerked him awake. He blinked, still in a haze from the dream. Light filtered through the motel room curtains.
His cock was hard and… oh, God.
Ashley had it in her grip, stroking his length.
He lay on his side and she pressed against his back, her soft form molded against his hard one. He groaned again. “What are you doing?” he croaked.
“We humans call it a hand job,” she teased, the lilt of her voice like an intoxicating spell whispered in his ear. “But I’m willing to up the ante.” She crawled over him, pulling off his jeans.
He found himself powerless to shake her off, or even to ask her to stop. It was so wrong, but he wanted it, wanted anything she was willing to give to him.
She returned to his cock, gripping it in one hand as she lowered her lips. He shuddered before she even met his flesh, his skin anticipating her wet heat. He reached up and held the headboard to keep from touching her, closed his eyes to keep from seeing her. His hips jolted off the bed the moment she made contact with her mouth.
“Oh, fuuu—” He cut off the curse, not wanting to be crude. She deserved better than that. She deserved a much better male than he.
Her lips closed around the head of his cock, tongue swirling around the rim.
His toes flexed involuntarily, legs stretched, buttocks clenched as his manhood stood even taller, growing for her.
She gripped him with two hands, sliding them up and down as she brought the head of his cock in and out of her mouth, making it feel like she’d taken his entire length into her mouth.
Her teeth grazed him more than once, her jaw too small for his width, but he didn’t care. He wanted it to go on forever. He wanted it to stop immediately. He needed to claim her. No. He shook his head, shoving back the beast.
Ashley continued her meticulous torture, humming against his skin, licking, sucking. His knuckles turned white on the headboard, muscles straining.
Cum surged down his shaft. “Oh, God,” he choked. “I’m coming.”
Ashley didn’t take her mouth off his cock, accepting his offering with feminine grace, swallowing with a satisfied smile.
He flipped her to her back and pounced, covering her body with his. His cock, still hard despite the release, found her slick entryway and was already prodding for entrance before his brain kicked back into gear.
Get off her.
He blinked, rocking his hips so the tip of his cock actually breached her hole. Oh, hallelujah. Nothing felt sweeter than the first parting of her inner lips.
No.
He mustered all his willpower and yanked himself off her. Get a grip, Stone. Crawling down, he yanked her panties to the side and licked into her. She parted her thighs, drawing her knees up to make room for him. Her hips arched, her flat belly quivering at the flick of his tongue. She had a neatly trimmed pussy: petite and beautiful.
He stopped, his thoughts suddenly running in a direction that turned him cold.
“Who do you keep this pussy trimmed for?” he demanded, not managing to sound casual.
“You,” she said thickly, wiggling her hips for more.
He frowned. “No, really. Who?”
She leaned up on her forearms, her brow furrowed at the interruption, or maybe because he had no right to ask. “For myself. I like it that way, okay?”
He relaxed and touched the pad of his thumb to her clit, gently vibrating.
She bucked, moaning something incomprehensible.
He pinned her hips down, parted her inner lips, and traced her dewy opening. She gave a closed-mouthed scream when he slid inside her—a needy cry that made his cock furious to be so far from her.
Using the palm of his hand to rub her sensitive nub, he slid in and out with his thumb, still holding her down as she thrashed beneath his ministrations. He changed fingers, sliding two inside and flicking his tongue over her clit.
She tugged on his hair, clamped her knees around his ears, and made a throaty cry.
Her responsiveness nearly sent him over the edge—she looked so beautiful with her hair fanned out on the pillow, her lithe body undulating and arching into his hands. He swirled a slow circle around her clit with his tongue, then sucked it. He fit three fingers inside her soaking pussy, then made a cone of his fingers and thumb and pumped it in and out, stretching her wide to accept him. She went wild, her eyes rolling back, fingernails sinking into his shoulders as she came, rubbing her clit over his face. He continued penetrating her tight cunt until the fluttering of her muscles around his fingers had stopped and she collapsed back on the bed.
He must have already been partially shifting, ready to mark her, because he realized his vision had changed. He scrambled backward off the bed, back to the shower where he blasted the cold water. Shucking his clothes, he climbed in and put his face and cock in the freezing stream.
Damn. The blowjob hadn’t lessened his blue balls even by a measure. Water streamed over his heated body, cooling his skin but not the inner burn. His cock barely deflated. He jerked the shower curtain open when he finished and stalked past Ashley, who was coming into the bathroom, blushing.
He was an asshole. He didn’t even know how to be nice to a woman, especially not one he wanted to fuck six ways to Friday or Sunday, or whatever the saying was. He heard the shower start up and ignored his cock’s eager idea to rush back and join her.
The sound of her phone ringing jerked him out of his lustful haze. He dived for her purse and pulled it out, then jogged to the bathroom. Turning off the water in the shower, he thrust the phone at her.
She grabbed it, her eyes wide and frightened. “H-hello?”
He heard the electronic voice clearly, his hearing far more sensitive than a human’s. “Midnight, downtown Greyhound bus terminal parking lot.”
“Oka—”
The line went dead before she’d spoken. He didn’t know how it worked for Zolla, but if he needed a certain length of time for the call to go on, they’d failed.
Ashley’s dripping hand shook as she handed him the phone back, her face pale.
He wanted to tell her everything would be all right, but he wasn’t sure he believed it, and he’d never been one to lie. He just gave her a curt nod and closed the shower curtain.
Ashley picked at her food. Even the toast seemed too heavy for her nervous belly. Ben’s friend Zolla hadn’t been able to pinpoint the location of the call, so they were no closer to getting Melissa than the night before. Ben sat in silence, his plate already clean, watching her with his brooding gaze. If she didn’t know better, she’d think he was angry with her, but by now, she was used to his scowls and dark looks. Whatever it was that went on in that brain of his, whatever his mysterious thoughts, she was fairly certain he liked her. Which didn’t mean she felt any safer or more confident with him.
She didn’t know why he hadn’t had sex with her, or why he seemed almost disgruntled about the blowjob she’d given him, but she had noticed that despite his orgasm, his flag had still been flying at full mast. Maybe sex was different for shifters.
“Do you think she’s okay?” she asked.
He pursed his lips. “I don’t know what to think. I know it’s a good thing they still seem to want my laptop. I guess we’d better figure out why.”
He lifted his palm in greeting and she twisted to see his friend Zolla walking through the diner toward them. She slid over to make room for him in their booth and Ben immediately shook his head.
Zolla seemed to understand. He held out his palm in a gentlemanly gesture. “I’m sure you prefer to sit with Ben,” he said.
Her gaze flicked from one wolf to the other, and then she shrugged and scooted out of her side, sliding in next to Ben.
“So you were saying we need to figure out why they want your laptop,” Zolla said.
“How could you possibly have heard that from way across the diner?” she asked, thinking he must read lips or something.
Zolla smirked. “Wolf ears. All the better to hear you with.”
She laughed and Ben looked at her askance, as if she shouldn’t be laughing at another man’s jokes.
A waitress came by and Zolla ordered a coffee.
“So what’s on the laptop?”
Ben shrugged. “It’s my access point to everything, but I don’t store anything of importance on it. I’m thinking they could be after all my passwords? Could a hacker get that info from my computer?”
Zolla nodded. “Yes. I set up the initial security for your brother’s system. I made it so it was un-hackable from the outside. If things are still the same, then yes, your laptop and only your laptop would provide them what they need to get in.” He looked grim. “Not even Jack had universal access, although he asked me for it more than once.”
“He asked me for it, too,” Ben muttered.
Zolla gave him a sharp look and Ben cocked his head by a fraction of an inch. “It’s possible,” Ben said.
“That Jack is behind this?” she asked, trying to understand the unspoken conversation.
Ben gave a single nod.
“What did you find out from the license plate?”
“Registered to a Dan Walker. Typical thug—several misdemeanors, one felony for car theft. Probably not the mastermind behind this, but a hired goon.” Zolla slid a piece of paper across the table. “Here’s his address, although I doubt you’ll find him there.”
“And no info on this morning’s call?” Ashley asked, although she already knew the answer.
He shook his head. “Location information has been removed from your sister’s phone and the call was too short to do a traditional trace,” he said, looking sympathetic. “I’m sorry.”
“Thanks. I really appreciate your help.”
Ben seemed to bristle next to her, as if he didn’t like her talking to him.
Zolla looked away from her and asked, “Have you talked to Stanley?”
Ben’s jaw clenched. “Yeah. He was pretty butt-hurt about me calling in a favor when I wasn’t technically a member of their pack. I don’t think I can count on their help for the meetup.”
Zolla said nothing for a long moment, just tapped the fork against the spoon. Then he blew out his breath. “You know he wants you to lead the pack, right?”
A muscle jumped in Ben’s face. “Not going to happen.”
Zolla shrugged. “Well, Stanley’s losing wolves right and left. He lost me. He’s not strong enough to lead. No one wants to follow a beta. I know that must sound ripe coming from me.”
Ben didn’t answer.
“Well, I have a contract job in Edgewater, so I’ll be out all day, unless you want me to stick around.”
Ben shook his head.
“Do you two want to hang at my place today?”
“Maybe,” Ben said. “It would be about an unlikely a place to stay, one where no one would think to look.”
“Well, if you decide you want to, here’s the address and the code to get in.”
“Thanks. I think we will go there.”
“Okay, then I’ll meet you there an hour before the meeting.”
“Good. I’ll see if Mark Ruhl will come as well. Thank you.”
Ben opened the car door for her, but instead of stepping in, she turned to face him. “What’s with the weird vibe if I even look at Zolla?” she demanded.
He avoided her eyes, looking over the top of the car toward the Flatiron Mountains, which jutted majestically in the background. His body itched to shift and run for that wilderness, to get rid of all this pent-up tension winding his crank.
“You’re acting crazy,” she said.
He knew she was right. His behavior was over the top, even by wolf standards. He dragged his eyes to meet her. “I know,” he admitted. “I’m sorry. I just can’t seem to help myself around you.”
“Well, you can relax, because I’m only interested in you,” she said, laying a palm on his chest.
Her touch burned him like a branding iron, causing him to jerk at the jolt of electricity that passed between them. But as much as he adored her, as much as he wanted her, he couldn’t have her. And pretending otherwise, when she was making her feelings plain, would be cruel.
“Ashley… I can’t.” He looked around as if the right words would be posted on a sign nearby. “I can’t do this with you.”
She stiffened. “Why not?” she asked, her voice sounding tight.
He ran his fingers through his hair. “I just can’t. I’m sorry. It’s not possible. I shouldn’t have,” he swallowed, “done what I did last night—or this morning. I know I’m an asshole. You don’t deserve this.”
Her face turned to stone and she shrugged like it didn’t matter, climbing in the car. He hesitated, his hand on the door handle. But what else was there to say? Explaining the marking thing would only terrify her. Besides, even if marking wasn’t an issue, he couldn’t get involved with her. He couldn’t let another person he cared about die on his watch. He shut her door and walked around to the driver’s side.
They rode in silence for twenty minutes before she said, “Is there another woman?”
“No,” he snapped, not meaning to sound so harsh.
She flinched and turned to look out her window.
He waited for the next question, but it never came. They made it all the way to Zolla’s without speaking another word. He pulled into the driveway and used the code he’d given him to open the garage door. When he returned to the car to pull it in, Ashley had climbed over to the driver’s seat.
“I’ll see you later,” she muttered, trying to shut the door he’d left agape.
He shoved his hand in between, and managed to slow it a bit before it slammed on him.
Ashley’s face registered horror and she shoved the door back open to free him. He used the opportunity to put his entire body between the door and the car, reaching in to haul her out.
“Stop it,” she cried, struggling.
Afraid of leaving finger bruises on her arms, he spun her around and wrapped one arm around her waist to pick her up. “Where did you think you were going?”
“I don’t know—away from here! What do you care? I’ll be at the meetup.”
His need to protect her made his teeth sharpen in his mouth and a growl to erupt from his throat.
She froze, her shoulders hunching in a slight cower, but her voice came out strong and brave. “So I’m still your prisoner, huh?”
“Yeah,” he muttered. “You’re still my prisoner.” He pushed her over the hood of the car and began to rain smacks down on her wriggling ass, hard and fast.
“Ben!” she shrieked, the panic of public humiliation evident in the pitch of her voice.
“Don’t even think about going anywhere without me,” he growled. He continued spanking, not because he thought she deserved punishment, but just to assert his dominance. He didn’t expect to earn her submission, though. Hell, he was probably forever sealing the end of their relationship, which should be what he wanted. Except… there was no way he could let her go.
“Okay, stop!” she yelled, turning to look over her shoulder at him. Her face held a mixture of emotions—her eyes dark and glassy, her teeth bared, her brows down low in anger.
“You can’t leave,” he growled. “It’s not safe.”
She didn’t answer, so he delivered several more hard slaps.
“Ashley? Do you understand?”
“Yes, sir, ” she said, sarcasm dripping from her voice.
He turned her around and placed his shoulder into the fold of her hips to toss her over his back, inadvertently lifting her skirt up. When he reached to pull it down, he brushed across her panties and found them soaked. Even when she was pissed at him, her body said yes. His cock went rock hard. How could he doubt she was his mate? Their chemistry was off the charts.
She smacked his back with her palm. “Put me down, you big jerk. I’ve had enough of your Neanderthal ways. I’ve had enough of you.”
“I’m sure you have,” he said, carrying her into the garage and opening the door to the house. “Unfortunately, you have no choice but to put up with me for one more day.” He plopped her on the sofa. “Do I need to find the duct tape?”
She surged to her feet, a wild look of defiance on her face. “Yes!”
He hid a surprised smile. Yes? What did that mean? Wicked thoughts crept into his brain. “Okay,” he said and tugged her back up to stand. Whirling her around, he pinned her wrists behind her back. He used them to force her to the end of the sofa, where he pushed her down over the padded arm.
“You need to be restrained, Ashley?” he asked, his voice low and gravelly.
Her breathing came in audible gasps.
He leaned his body over hers, his erection pressing into her soft ass. “Do you like being my prisoner?” he murmured in her ear.
She didn’t answer, but her hips pushed backward, the heat of her flesh searing against his straining cock. With a great effort of will, he wrenched his hips safely away from hers. He could not claim her. He shouldn’t be doing this—not after he’d just told her they couldn’t have a relationship. But the intoxicating scent of her wet pussy had sent reason flying.
Keeping her wrists pinned with one hand, he used the other to lift her skirt and tug down her panties. Her cheeks were reddened from the spanking he’d just given her, and she clenched them now, as if to ward off further spanks.
He tested to be sure he was reading her correctly. “Spread your legs, Ashley.”
Her feet slid apart.
His cock surged against his zipper, painfully hard.
He brought his hand up between her legs, slapping her pussy.
She shrieked, trying to lift her torso, but he didn’t allow it. He noted she did not close her legs.
He slapped her again, her natural lubricant coating his fingers. He spanked her little pussy over and over again until she began to whimper and plead. “Please… Ben… please.”
“Please what?”
“I—please… fuck me.”
He was unprepared for his body’s reaction to that request. His skin flushed and prickled, canines lengthened, vision changed.
Do. Not. Mark her.
He forced himself to inhale several times through his nose, the effort to stay in control overwhelming. When his vision dulled again, he nudged her feet even wider. Using the pad of his middle finger, he stroked along her dewy slit, gliding between her inner lips, gathering moisture, and dragging it up to her clit.
She gave a wavering moan.
He flicked her responsive little button and her knees buckled, her feet sliding out from under her. The sofa bore her weight and he pressed her pinned wrists down, holding her in place as he continued to torture her most sensitive organ.
Her moans grew louder, a needy, desperate pitch taking over.
He slid two fingers inside her.
She mewled, arching against the hold he had on her wrists.
He pumped his fingers in and out. It only took a few strokes before she cried out, her muscles gripping his fingers, squeezing in a rhythmic pulse.
“Ben,” she choked and the sound of his name on her lips nearly turned him savage.
Somehow, he managed to ease his fingers out without pouncing on her and making her forever his. He slapped her pussy one more time as he backed away. The change was still upon him—his entire body shook with the effort to keep it back. He needed to shift and run—to get release this pent-up frustration.
“Promise me you’ll stay put,” he said, his voice still rough.
She said nothing.
He slapped her bare ass and she yelped. “I promise!”
He released her wrists and pulled her panties up, then turned her to face him and pinched her nipple between his thumb and forefinger, twisting as her eyes widened. “You’re killing me,” he muttered, even though he knew he was the one doing the killing. He’d been the king of mixed signals, dragging her, and her heart—if she cared for him, and he desperately hoped she did—through the wringer.
After pinching her nipple, Ben walked toward the bedroom, yanking off his t-shirt. He was the picture of masculine power, his lean muscles of his naked torso rippling with movement. She’d seen the bulge of his erection, and yet, once again, he hadn’t claimed her. Despite her orgasm moments ago, her body thought only of being under him, his huge cock penetrating her, making her scream as he took her roughly.
She hardly knew what to think about where they stood. After licking her wounds in the car, she knew she had no reason to be upset. He’d never made her any promises. She was disappointed and hurt, and didn’t like feeling like she’d been dumped, but she was still certain that Ben Stone felt something for her. Maybe it was just physical attraction, maybe it was something more.
All she knew was he made her feel desirable and sexy. He made her feel other things she’d never felt before. Crazy things—like she would willingly let him string her wrists from the ceiling and whip her with his belt again if that turned him on. Because in retrospect, it sure as hell turned her on. She squeezed her bottom, feeling the sting that still lingered from his spanking. She adored his dominance, found his power intoxicating. The thought of him punishing her again made her cream her panties. She didn’t understand it, but she definitely wanted more.
She should have pressed him more about why he couldn’t be with her. She’d been afraid of what answer he might give and had chosen to take personal offense rather than keep a cool head and just try to understand him. Now her mind had conjured a million possibilities. Maybe humans and shifters literally couldn’t mate. Or maybe it was against their rules to be with a human.
Except Zolla had said something about Ben marking her, which implied that they could take human lovers. What did marking her mean?
She heard the bedroom door bump and the largest black wolf she’d ever seen came trotting out. She drew a breath and held it, her skin prickling. Even knowing it was Ben, she still found the beast terrifying. He stood higher than her waist, with thick black fur and huge jowls. He trotted toward the rear of the house, where a doggy door had been installed. Before he left, he turned to look at her, as if in warning.
“I know, I know. I’m staying right here.”
The wolf’s jaws opened, revealing a row of vicious teeth, but she could have sworn he was smiling at her. It reminded her of her first day working for him and she smiled back, despite her pride. The wolf lowered himself to squeeze through the door, which was too small for him, and ran out.
She curled up the sofa and buried herself in the book she’d found on Zolla’s shelf. At first she didn’t think she’d be able to concentrate, but her mind was so thrilled with a distraction—any distraction from her worry over Melissa and her situation with Ben—that she found herself swept away to an alien planet.
She didn’t re-emerge for a couple hours, when her stomach started growling. She padded to the front door and opened it, looking around for Ben. The wolf was sitting on the front steps. He turned and bared his teeth at her.
She froze, her body having an autonomic reaction to the danger an enormous, snarling wolf presented. Reason took over, and she forced herself to step out and sit down on the step beside him.
Ben got up, shoving his nose under her thigh, as if to make her stand, too. When she didn’t, she saw teeth again. He bit the fabric of her skirt and tugged, making a growling sound. Refusing to be cowed by him, as terrifying as he may be, she rubbed his head. “Okay, okay, I’ll go back in. But I’m hungry. Aren’t you?”
He leaned his body against her legs, pressing her forward and through the door.
She laughed. “All right, I’m in. You want me to see if there’s any food here?”
The wolf looked toward the kitchen.
“Okay. Let’s see what your friend Zolla keeps in his cupboards.”
She walked to the kitchen and opened the fridge, which only contained a few take-out containers, beer, and condiments. She opened the cabinets. He had plenty of non-perishables: cans of soup, beans, macaroni and cheese packages. She pulled out a couple of cans of chili. “You probably want meat, right?”
She searched the drawer for a can opener and, finding one, opened the can.
She wondered if Ben would shift back. In a way, it was easier with him in wolf form. She wouldn’t be offended by his lack of conversation. And it was hard to be mad at a wolf.
She dumped the chili into two bowls and heated it up in the microwave. “I’m actually a good cook, not that you’ll be able to tell from this meal. Maybe someday you’ll let me cook for you. What was up with neither you nor Karen eating my banana bread? That was downright rude.”
The wolf’s mouth opened again and she thought he was laughing at her.
“What? It was. What’s up with you and Karen, anyway?”
When the wolf actually rolled his eyes, she chuckled. “No? Nothing?”
He stepped around her and she instinctively backed away, then gave a nervous laugh. The kitchen seemed tiny with his huge four-legged body taking up space. “It’s hard not to be intimidated by you,” she said. Forcing herself to conquer her fear, she stepped forward and held out her hand for him to sniff.
She thought he might be laughing at her again. She buried both hands in his fur, rubbing his soft ears and the thick fur at the scruff of his neck. “You sure are beautiful.”
He held still for it, but she couldn’t tell whether he liked it or not. Maybe being pet like a dog was beneath a werewolf.
The microwave beeped and she took their bowls out, setting his on the floor at his feet. “Sorry if that’s not how you eat. I’m new at this.”
It seemed fine, because he cleaned his bowl in about one minute flat. She’d only taken a few bites in the time it took him to eat. “Do you want more?”
He gave a little chuff, which she took to be affirmative, so she opened another can of chili and heated it up for him. She stared at his huge form as he ate. He was as tall as a Great Dane—the kind of dog you make jokes about riding like a horse.
If they had children together, they could ride him. Sheesh, where did that thought come from? They weren’t having children together. They weren’t even dating. They got each other off and that was the end of it.
Though he hated being indoors when in wolf form, he hung around with Ashley that afternoon.
He had run to Ashley’s place when he first went out and sniffed around. People had definitely been there. He made a note of the scents. Even if they managed to get her sister back, he didn’t think Ashley would be safe. Not until they figured out who was behind all this. But where could she and her sister go? And who would watch over them? It could take weeks or even months for this plot to unravel.
He actually thought Zolla’s place was as safe as any, and he did trust the wolf.
Ashley read for a while, but as dusk came on, she grew restless, pacing about the room.
“Do you think they ever had any intention of returning Melissa?” she asked him.
He figured it was rhetorical, since he couldn’t speak. He preferred it that way, anyway.
She looked at him, a pinched look tightening her face. “I kind of don’t. They weren’t wearing any masks or anything. Which means, either they’re really stupid and they don’t care if we can identify them, or they planned to kill us both.”
He had arrived at the same conclusion, which was why he wasn’t letting Ashley out of his sight.
She paced some more. “I probably should’ve just called the police when I got the first message.”
He glared at her.
“No?” Her shoulders sagged. “I guess not. You can’t really have police poking in your business, but I’m starting to think… Well, we’re sort of outnumbered. Even if you are a wolf who doesn’t mind bullet holes. I mean, Melissa and I aren’t bulletproof.” A darker shadow crossed her face. “If Melissa’s still alive.”
He trotted over and put his muzzle against her leg in a show of protection and comfort.
She rubbed his head. Sinking down on the sofa, she took his face between her hands, rubbing his ears. “I’m scared, Ben,” she whispered, unshed tears glimmering in her eyes.
He licked her hand. To hell with this. He wasn’t going to let her grow more and more frightened as they holed up here for another six hours. He trotted toward the bedroom, shifting as he walked. When he turned to shut the door, he saw Ashley craning her neck to watch him, getting an eyeful of his naked form, and damn if he didn’t still have a raging erection for her. Her mouth opened when their eyes caught, and he gave her a half-grin, watching as her eyes widened and a blush spread across her cheeks.
He shut the door and changed into his clothes. “Come on,” he said, walking briskly out and taking her hand to tug her off the sofa.
“Where are we going?”
“Out,” he said, tugging her toward the garage. “You’re sick of being cooped up here, and so am I.”
He opened her door for her. She gazed up in bewilderment.
“There’s a taco place down the street that smells good. Can you walk in those shoes?” He wished he had somehow arranged to get her a change of clothes today. The poor girl was still in her work skirt and heels and the mauve t-shirt from Shayla.
She tugged her skirt down, as if it might cover more of her long, bare legs. “Yeah, definitely. How far?”
“Only a block. I’ll carry you if you get tired.”
She licked her lips, making his cock jerk in his pants. Flushing, she looked away. “That won’t be necessary,” she said, her voice huskier than usual.
Abruptly, he found himself pushing her up against the house, his body pressing against her soft curves. He cupped the side of her face, lifting it as if he was going to kiss her. He stopped himself just in time, freezing as he realized the inappropriateness of his actions. He’d just told her he couldn’t be in a relationship with her. What the hell was he doing?
He brushed his lips across her forehead, then her temple, then her lush lips. “Ashley… I’m a whole bundle of trouble. Look where working for me has already landed you—” He stopped, wanting to backpedal. He didn’t want her to stop working for him, no matter what happened. The thought of going back to Stone Technologies without her made him feel dead. “What I’m trying to say is…” Well, what the hell was he trying to say? Being so close to her, feeling her body against his, having her scent in his nostrils made it hard to formulate any thought.
He stroked her cheek with his thumb, a sense of both longing and loss giving him a tenderness he didn’t usually find. “Ashley, it’s so complicated. And I’m just… sorry.”
She thrust her chin forward in a cute show of defiance. “What is it? Why can’t you be with me? Just tell me.”
“It’s too dangerous. You’re human and I’m… not.”
She blinked rapidly, pushing him away from her and averting her face.
“I’m sorry,” he repeated, standing back and extending his arm to allow her to pass him.
They walked down the street together, side by side. She felt dizzy from having his hard body pressed against hers, the aggressive way he pinned her sending a heady rush of lust rocketing through her body. Her emotions warred between anger and acceptance. She did believe Ben was sorry, but she didn’t want his apology, she wanted him.
“Ben?”
As usual for him, he didn’t answer, but he did look over.
“Do you miss Venezuela?” she asked.
It was the wrong thing to say. His mask slid back in place, lines hardening. “No,” he said, but it seemed like a lie—she saw pain in his expression. She remembered, belatedly, that his brother and father had been killed there. If she’d heard right, it had been some kind of grotesque death—like a wild animal… Oh. A wolf, of course.
“What happened there?” she asked softly. She held her breath, not really expecting an answer.
To her surprise, he spoke. “My father’s pack had been threatened takeover by another—a drug cartel of shifters. My brother had flown in to help him fight, but…” He swallowed and didn’t go on.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “And your mother? Is she still alive?”
He shook his head. “No. She died when I was twelve of cancer. Which isn’t supposed to affect wolves,” he said bitterly.
For once, she had nothing to say. She knew he didn’t want her pity. She reached out and touched his hand. He instantly laced his fingers through hers.
“I think—” he said, then cleared his throat. “I think she just didn’t want to go on living with my dad. He was a top-notch asshole, like me.”
Her chest tightened and her nose tickled, tears rising up for him. “That’s not you. You may play that part, but I know it’s not the real you.”
He lifted his eyes, looking stunned. She met his gaze evenly, transmitting her utter confidence in her statement. As if he couldn’t take it, he literally shook it off, like a dog shakes off water.
“I mean it. Sure, you’re a dick at times—okay, most of the time, but underneath it all, you are sweet.”
“No,” he said. “I’m really not. And you’re the only person on the planet who has ever described me that way.”
“Because I know the truth,” she said, lifting her chin and daring him to contradict her.
His expression wavered for a moment and he looked uncertain or lost. Then he did the same shaking motion he’d done a few minutes before. “No, you don’t,” he said bitterly.
“What would it take for you to accept anything I offer? Do you always have to reject it?” She almost said reject me, because that was the truth of the matter.
He didn’t answer. They had reached the taco place, and he led her inside, glancing at the board. “Do you know what you want?”
It was an authentic Mexican joint, with the menu mostly in Spanish. She shrugged. “Surprise me.”
Ben ordered in Spanish and they handed him a couple of Dos Equis beers with lime wedges stuffed in the mouth. He passed one to her and they sat down at a booth.
“What did you order?”
“A carne asada burrito. Is that okay?”
“Yeah,” she said with a little laugh.
“You don’t know what that is, do you?”
She grinned sheepishly. “Some kind of burrito.”
“It’s a marinated beefsteak. I think you’ll like it.”
It was stupid, but she leaned forward and said, “Speak to me in Spanish?”
His eyebrows shot up.
She shrugged. “I like the way it sounds.”
“ Como qué? ”
“Keep going.”
“ Si pudiera decirte la verdad, deciré que tu eres… mi todo mundo .”
His words rolled over her ears like they were spoken by Don Juan himself. “What did you say?”
He hesitated long enough for her to realize that he’d said something real for once. Something he couldn’t or wouldn’t say in English. She tried to replay the syllables in her mind to decipher their meaning, but her high school Spanish was lacking. Was it something about speaking the truth and then , you are my whole world? She clung to that thought, and placed it in her heart like a little jewel to take out and hold to the light the next time he rejected her.