Page 74 of The Admiral's Daughter

“Frozen toes are nothing to scoff at,” I joke.

We continue to wander the edge of the flight deck. “Why do you do it?” River asks quietly. “It sounds bloody horrible, to be honest.”

“It is, but it’s not all terrible. Truth deserves to be outed. The world can only change if it’s exposed to the atrocities. The men and women who do these things need to be exposed. Truth is the most important thing in the world.”

River nods and chews her lips. “In the spirit of truth, I found something out about Benson,” she says, but I stop her with an arm on her bicep.

“Can we just have tonight as our own? I want to know what you found out, but I want this date to be just about us. Is that okay?”

Her hand drifts to my hip. “Absolutely. We can talk about it tomorrow.”

“Thank you.”

“I wish I could kiss you again,” she whispers.

“I know.”

River knots her jaw and then cocks her head, signalling for us to carry on walking. We walk and talk, chatting about life on board the ship and my life in London.

“I have a little surprise,” she says when we return to the start of our loop.

“Okay, lead the way.”

Flashing me her knicker-wetting grin, River turns about and heads back through the ship with me hot on her heels.

I’m completely turned around as we head through the maze of corridors. My attention has been firmly on River, and I couldn’t even hazard a guess as to our location.

We stop outside a rolling door inside the main hangar, which I’ve never seen before. River presses a button and it begins to open. A small lookout balcony comes into view. We are completely alone, and I realise River must have called in some more favours to set this up for us.

Then I see the blanket lying on the ground. My eyes snap to the picnic basket sitting at the edge of the blanket.

“River.”

“I thought it’d be nice to have some food while watching the water…away from prying eyes.”

Stepping out, I take in the whole scene. The lookout is below the main deck and there isn’t another person in sight, so we are truly alone. The Atlantic Ocean is sprawled out before us underneath a canopy of stars.

I hear the door roll down behind us. Then I feel River behind me, breathing me in. Her hand goes around my waist and her head brushes up against mine.

“Ready for our second date?”

God, I’m ready for everything with this woman.

25

River

The view is phenomenal,as is the food, but they pale in comparison to Cleo sitting next to me, her hair glowing in the moonlight.

The change in my attitude towards this sort of thing…dating and such…is slightly concerning. I mean, a few days ago I was a confirmed and permanent bachelorette. Cheddar joked a woman would come along and knock me on my arse, and shit if she wasn’t wrong.

Cleo Carter has knocked me on my arse for sure—and what’s more surprising, I like it. There’s this feeling bubbling in my chest when I picture life going forward. That’s something new as well. Looking beyond the present and wanting to plan for the future.

I still don’t think one person can or should be the reason to change, not if that change isn’t for yourself,but…I don’t know…being around Cleo, talking to her, has unlocked a side to me I thought dead. Hope and expectation. Not just of the relationship we’re building, but in myself.

I’ve thought about Admiral Carter’s comments about my lack of rank. Before, I wouldn’t have thought twice about it. I made it clear I was content with being a regular sailor with no responsibilities past my job. Pissing about with my friends on board and then living it large in clubs and bars when on shore leave.

Now I find myself wondering if I’m wasting what could be a lucrative and long career. There’s no doubt I’ll be in the Navy until I retire. It’s in my bones, and it fulfils me. But…do I really want to be an Able Rate when I’m in my fifties? On the flip side, can I see myself as an officer?