Page 40 of Thankless in Death

She narrowed her eyes. “Is that Irish for stupid?”

“Crazy’s more accurate.” Baffled annoyance rode over his face. “Why in bloody hell wouldn’t you want it? It’s a major promotion, an accomplishment. I understand the discomfort over the medal. You see yourself as doing your job, and you neither need nor want some fancy piece pinned on you for it. But a captaincy? Christ Jesus, Eve, it’s your career, it’s what you are, more than that. And we both know he’d have offered it to you before this but for me.”

“No, not because of you. Because of me. I made my choice. Whatever you think, it was my choice. I chose you, and if the brass played politics with that, that was their choice.”

“Now they’ll give me a medal, and they’ve opened a door for you. Why aren’t you walking through it? Bloody dancing through it.”

“No reason for you to be pissed about it.”

“I’m not pissed so much as gobsmacked. Why did you turn it down?”

“I can’t give up what I have,” she said simply. “I’m not ready. Maybe I’ll never be. I’m a cop. I have to be a cop.”

“How do captain’s bars change that?”

“They’d take me out of the field. Right now someone else would be looking for Jerry Reinhold, not me. They’d put distance and space between me and my men because I wouldn’t be their direct supervisor. I’d spend more time, most of the time, in meetings, with paperwork, making administrative decisions, and only what I could eke out actually doing the job I’m good at.”

She took a long breath when he said nothing. “I need to be a cop, a good cop, more than I need the rank. And I knew that today, without any question at all, when offered the bars.”

When he still didn’t speak, she shrugged. “I probably broke a Marriage Rule not talking with you about this first, but—”

“It’s yours,” he interrupted. “It’s your work. I don’t talk with you about the deals I make, what I buy, sell, develop.”

“What you deal and wheel doesn’t—usually anyway—put you on the line. I understand it would be easier on you if I took this.”

“It would, if you’re meaning I’d worry less. But I married you. I made a choice, and like you, I took you for what you are, not what I’d turn you into.”

“I wanted it once, a lot. Maybe even too much. I wanted it when the job wasn’t just what I did or who I am, but all I had. That’s not true anymore, and I’m a better cop because of that. I need to catch the bad guys, Roarke. And I need to walk into the bullpen every day and see the team I’ve helped make working to do the same. When I weigh that against the bars, there’s no contest.”

“All right then.”

“And that’s it?”

“Lieutenant, I can’t argue with truth. I’ll say I’m happy, very, they offered it to you. You can say it was your choice, and that’s true enough as well. But being with me was a block to this, and now it’s not. So I’ll take the medal, and suck it up.”

“Okay.” She let out a long breath. “I love you.”

“And I love you.”

“But I can’t eat the soufflé thing on tap for dessert.”

“Soufflé? Quite the five-star meal. Why don’t we have a bit of a break from it, and we can enjoy it a little later. In your office while we work.”

She grinned at him. “I made a really good choice.”

“Oh, that you did.” He took her hand, pulled her with him to her feet. “You’d be a good captain.”

“Maybe. Down the road. Yeah, okay. I would.”

She made him smile. “Whatever your rank, darling Eve, you’ll always be my cop.”

“That works for me.”

“Let’s go down then.”

“I’ve got to deal with all this stuff.”

“Summerset will see to it.”