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“I can’t get the blood off,” Loree ground out A through clenched teeth as she washed her hands in the bowl of warm water that the doctor had brought her.

Austin heard the tremor of panic in her voice, watched the way she scrubbed viciously at her hands, and was afraid she was going to peel off her skin. He moved away from the doctor who was examining his head.

“Hey, young fella—” Dr. Freeman began.

Austin held up a hand. “Just a minute.”

He crossed the room and took Loree’s hands. She snapped her gaze up to his, and he could almost see the horrific memories mirrored in her golden eyes.

“I can’t get the blood off,” she rasped.

He remembered how she’d continued to scrub herself the night Digger had died, even though she’d washed away all the blood.

“I can get it off,” he said quietly. He dipped his hand into the water, then slowly, gently trailed his fingers over her clean hands.

Tenderly, he wiped them dry. “There, see? The blood’s all gone. ”

Her brow furrowed, Loree glanced at her hands, then lifted one to touch the back of his head. He grabbed her hand before she could get blood on it again. Tears welled in her eyes. “Someone hurt you.”

He kissed the tips of her fingers. “I’m gonna be all right. You go sit in the front room with Dee.”

She nodded before leaving the room, closing the door in her wake. He wished he’d been able to spare her the sight of his blood. Austin crossed back to the chair and sat. He grimaced as the doctor dabbed something against his head. “Damn! That burns.”

“I just want to make certain the gash is clean before I stitch it up. We don’t need any infection,” Dr. Freeman said, his tall skeletal frame thinner than Austin remembered.

“Are you sure Loree is all right?” he asked. Afraid she might have been hurt earlier, he had insisted Dr. Freeman examine her first.

“She’s fine,” Dr. Freeman said. “She just doesn’t have much stomach for blood is all.”

Austin figured he wouldn’t either if he’d watched someone murder his family.

“Who attacked you?” Dallas asked from the doorway.

“I don’t know.”

“Duncan?”

Austin glared at his brother. “I said, I don’t know. He came at me from behind and slammed my head against the wall. Everything went from black to blacker.”

“I’ll ride out and talk to Duncan tomorrow—”

“And what? Tell him to stay away from me when you don’t even know it was him? He’s not the only one in town who thinks I should have hanged.”

Dallas’s eyes narrowed. “Who else?”

“Most of the town.”

“Then I’ll set them all straight.”

“It’s your word against a verdict of guilty. Just stay clear of this. You’re only asking for trouble if you get involved.”

“Goddamn it! This started with me!”

“And it’ll finish with me.” He heaved a weary sigh.

“I appreciate your willingness to take a stand, but the truth of the matter is that I did some stupid things without thinking them through. They were my mistakes, and I’m the one that has to pay for them.

Without those mistakes, no jury would have ever found me guilty. ”

He expected a further argument. Instead, he saw abiding respect delve into his oldest brother’s eyes. “Christ, you did grow up, didn’t you?”

Austin gave him a halfhearted smile. “Yeah.”

The door opened and Dee poked her head through the opening. “Dr. Freeman, Loree said something is happening with the baby.”

Austin shot off the table. “Dammit! I thought you looked her over.”

“I did,” Dr. Freeman said as he shuffled from the room, following in Austin’s wake.

Loree was sitting in a stuffed chair in Dr. Freeman’s front parlor. Austin knelt beside her and wrapped his hand around her tightened fist. “Loree?”

Tears shimmered in her eyes. “Oh, Austin, I think I’m losing the baby.”

Austin heard bones creak as Dr. Freeman made his way to his knees. “How badly did it hurt?” he asked.

A look of surprise swept over Loree’s face. “Well, it didn’t hurt exactly.”

“What exactly did it do?” Dr. Freeman asked.

Loree cast a sidelong glance at Austin before turning her attention back to Dr. Freeman.

“Well, it sorta felt like”—she gnawed on her lower lip and furrowed her brow—“you know when you jump into a creek and air gets trapped in your pantaloons and sorta sits there for a minute after you hit the water and then it bubbles out and tickles? That’s what it felt like. ”

Austin thought Dr. Freeman looked as though he were on the verge of busting a gut, his face turned crimson and Austin could tell he was fighting to hold back his laughter.

“Can’t say I’ve ever had air get trapped in my pantaloons.

” He glanced over his shoulder at Dee. “Think she just felt the baby roll over?”

Dee smiled warmly. “I think so.”

With wonder reflected in her golden eyes, Loree pressed her hand against her stomach. “I felt the baby roll over? She’s all right?”

“I’m certain she’s just fine,” Dr. Freeman said.

The stymied late August air hung outside the open window, doing little to cool Austin’s sweating body. The moon spilled into the bedroom, waltzing with the darkness.

He saw the shadow of his violin as it rested on the top of his bureau. Once he’d been able to hear the music long before he ever touched the strings.

Once, he had dreamed of a special violin—created with his own hands—that made the sweetest music ever heard.

Now, he would be content to play his mother’s scarred and scratched violin—if only he once again had the ability to bring the music to life within his heart.

“Austin, what are you doing?” Loree whispered sleepily.

He walked to the bed, stretched out beside her, and spread his fingers over her stomach. “Just couldn’t sleep.”

“Does your head hurt?”

“Nah, it’s fine.”

“The man you went to prison for killing—”

“Was a sorry son of a bitch not worth worrying over.”

“He must have meant something to someone for a man to attack you. I heard him say you should have hanged.”

He cradled her cheek. “I’ll tell you how worthless he was.

One night behind the hotel, he shoved some wooden crates over on top of Dee and lit out without a backward glance.

Dee lost the baby she was carrying and dang near lost her life.

Then he paid Rawley’s father to kill Dallas.

I don’t regret his dying. I only regret that I went to prison because of it.

” Tenderly, he brushed his lips over hers.

“I’m gonna be the one waking up with nightmares if we keep following this trail.

Let’s talk about something else. Tell me again what it felt like when the baby moved inside you. ”

“It scared me at first because I thought something was wrong. My ma never told me things about having a baby. I didn’t know I’d feel her roll over …

or that it would feel so wonderful.” She turned to her side, burying her face in the crook of his shoulder.

“I’m glad we’re gonna have her. I was embarrassed at first … even ashamed—”

He tilted her face back. He couldn’t see the gold in her eyes, but it didn’t stop him from searching for it. “Loree, the shame is mine, not yours, never yours.”

“Austin, I wanted you close to me that night. I’d never felt so alone in my whole life.”

He reached through the darkness, found her hand, and brought it to his lips. “In prison …”

“What?”

He swallowed hard. If only removing the shackles had removed the memories.

“There was this box. The inside was black as tar. If the guard had a toothache or was in the mood to be mean, he’d shove someone into that box.

” He felt the sweat break out on his skin and he shivered, even though the night was warm.

Her fingers tightened around his. “I couldn’t breathe in that box.

I thought I’d go crazy. The night I got home and Dallas told me Becky had gotten married, I felt like he’d shoved me inside that box. ”

She pressed a kiss against his chest. “I’m sorry.”

“That first night I held you, I felt a flicker of hope that I might be able to escape.”

He felt her warm tears slide down his chest. “One of these nights, Loree, I’m gonna leave every memory I have outside that door.

When that happens I’m gonna make love to you until dawn.

” Her arms slid around him and she scooted her body close enough to his that he felt every curve.

“Lord, I love it when you do that,” he whispered, drawing her closer.

“They’re nice people, aren’t they?”

His chest muffled her words, but he knew without asking to whom she referred. Becky and Cameron. “Yeah, they are. That’s what makes this so much harder. I can’t find it in me to hate them.”

Her hold on him tightened, and he felt slight tremors racing through her. “I’m glad,” she whispered hoarsely. “Hate can eat at you … make you do things …”

He pressed a kiss to her temple and tasted the salt of a tear. “What do you know of hate, Loree?”

“The man who murdered my family. I wanted him dead. I wanted him dead so bad that it was like he’d crawled inside me.”

She started gasping for breath, and he heard a broken sob escape.

“Shh. Shh. Loree, don’t upset yourself. It’s been a bad night.

Don’t think about the past. Think about the future.

” He continued to coo to her, feeling her body relaxing within his arms. Her gasping gave way to slow even breathing.

“That’s it, Sugar. Think about that little girl—”

She sniffed. “Boy.”

He chuckled low. “Oh, it’s a boy now, is it?”

“I think so.”

He drew her closer. The night was warm, unbearably hot, but he kept her within the circle of his arms. He hadn’t been lying when he’d told her he’d be the one to wake up with nightmares, but he’d discovered that as long as she was nestled against him, he could hold the hated memories at bay.

“Tell me about your wedding.”

Loree stopped kneading the bread dough and glanced up at Maggie’s expectant face. The child sat at the end of the table, her legs tucked up beneath her bottom on the chair, the hand holding the stub of her pencil poised above the journal.